To have kids or have not?

[GhostPoet]

Just wondering if there is anyone around here who never wanted kids and possibly even a negative view of kids and eventually had kids either by accident or because their wife wanted to and found that they actually were GLAD they had kids?

 

[FingersMcGhee]

ME, never really wanted kids. Figured they would cut into my own plans, such as traveling and being able to "pack up" and leave anytime I wanted.

My son is now 3, and is the best thing in my life. Nothing beats coming home to him, and playing t-ball outside, and wrestling with him in the living room... best thing ever...

 

[GhostPoet]

ME, never really wanted kids. Figured they would cut into my own plans, such as traveling and being able to "pack up" and leave anytime I wanted.

My son is now 3, and is the best thing in my life. Nothing beats coming home to him, and playing t-ball outside, and wrestling with him in the living room... best thing ever...

So, you don't feel like it's chained you down and trapped you with not being able to have the freedom to do what you want anymore? that's my fear.

 

[FingersMcGhee]

Not really. It's wierd, because you don't really think about that stuff in the same light anymore (atleast I don't).

Kind of like, when you are in High School, you think everything that happens there is the MOST IMPORTANT stuff in your life, that is, untill you graduate. Same thing happens when you have kids, your world opens up. You realize there is so much more to life then just "yourself", so in a way, you are NEVER really chained down. Each day is something new. The adventure of life is much more rewarding when it's shared with your own child, then just by yourself.

Plus, as far as my "goals" to travel the world go, I'm young. I'm 27 years old... that stuff will come, and chances are, I will be petter prepared to appreciate those moments when they do because of where I am now.

 

[GhostPoet]

hmmm... Ok. I'm 34 right now. But I never really had a chance to have a normal teenage years part of my life so i'm sort of living that now.

 

[FingersMcGhee]

normal teenage years? Curious as to what that means for you?

 

[Franklin Richards]

You still have time. My son was born when I turned 39.

Better than any party I've ever attended.

 

[FingersMcGhee]

he's got the choke hold LOCKED....

LOL, cute kid...

 

[Franklin Richards]

Look at those guns!




Thanks.

 

[Yurka]

Cute little scoot you got there Franklin

Personally, I want kids, but not for another 7-10 years. I'm 23 now and still want to do many things on my "own" before I settle down and start a family. If tomorrow I got a job offer in Hong Kong, I'd like to be able to go without worrying about supporting anyone else or having other people factor into my decision. I don't mean to sound narcissistic, but I would like to only have to worry about "me" for now, that's hard enough
But I definitely want to have children at some point

 

[TheZink]

My son was an accident, and the best one to ever happen to me. My wife and I had wanted to wait until she was done with college, but if that had happened, we might never have kids (she didn't want any after 30).

Not really. It's wierd, because you don't really think about that stuff in the same light anymore (atleast I don't).

Couldn't have said it better. Once you hold that child in your arms, nothing else matters. Not partying, not playing your video games or anything. When my little boy crawls into my lap and lays his head on my chest and gives me a hug, there is no greater feeling.

 

[Pythenis]

Just wondering if there is anyone around here who never wanted kids and possibly even a negative view of kids and eventually had kids either by accident or because their wife wanted to and found that they actually were GLAD they had kids?

Man let me lay it out there, having kids was the general norm for couples in their late teens to early 20's until about 20 years ago when corporations suckered everyone into having "careers" and giving your best years working for the man.

I got 2 boys under 4 and let me tell you I wish I would have done this years ago, my wife and I waited until our early thirties working on that career and it while it gave us the kids we have now, it would have been easier in many ways to have them when we were younger.

Not to mention, we could have more time with them in our later years.

Kids change your life and your perspective on everything over night unless your a completely selfish tool who would never get it anyway.

The are the best.

 

[moviedoors]

Not having any. My girlfriend/pseudo-wife (I won't get married unless everyone can) aren't going to. She has had the operation and everything so there can't even be any happy accidents. My girl would argue that she already has a great big one to take care of.

 

[Rhiannon]

My heart just melted. Precious boy and sweet daddy!


As someone who has frequently worked with kids, I gotta say, I don't feel inclined to have any myself now at age 26. They are cute and funny, sure, but can be quite stressful; I'm happy when I get home and don't have to worry about anyone except me, my husband, and our cat. I have a fear of pregnancy and no desire to ever experience it, but maybe when I'm older, I'd like to adopt one little girl. Maybe.

My husband (age 34) doesn't care for kids at all, so I can't see that happening anyway.

 

[The Apocalypse]

I always wanted to have a kid or two but then I started to coach 6-7 year olds for little league baseball. I'm not so sure anymore.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I have no kids and really dont feel much of a need. I do like my friends kids but thats very different from having kids of my own. I want my "me time" which I never felt I had.

 

[Anubis]

I think Louie CK said it best when he said you love your kids. You would die for them a million times over. And you regret every decision that lead to their birth.

 

[Dark Phantom]

I think when I was a young boy I wanted to have a son, because i idolized my own father like a god and wanted to be just like him. Then, I got older and became more jaded and cynical about life and all i can think is "why in the world would I ever want to bring another human being into this existence?"

Yes, the trials and tribulations of life are what make it beautiful, but it really isn't worth it. The less human beings raping the world of natural resources, the better.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I think when I was a young boy I wanted to have a son, because i idolized my own father like a god and wanted to be just like him. Then, I got older and became more jaded and cynical about life and all i can think is "why in the world would I ever want to bring another human being into this existence?"

Yes, the trials and tribulations of life are what make it beautiful, but it really isn't worth it. The less human beings raping the world of natural resources, the better.

Exactly. I think the world would be a better place if we stopped making more people and started helping the ones we already have. That's why I sponsor two kids, one in India and one in Kenya.

 

[GhostPoet]

Exactly. I think the world would be a better place if we stopped making more people and started helping the ones we already have. That's why I sponsor two kids, one in India and one in Kenya.

Dude! That's awesome! My wife and I recently started doing the same thing! We're sponsoring a kid in India.

We keep being told that we will regret not having kids if we don't. I don't want my wife to live with a regret like that...on the other hand I don't want her to resent me if she doesn't like having a kid either. oi.

When I see pictures of kids (like the one above) my heart doesn't melt...there is nothing inside me that goes "awwwww" when I see someones kid being cute. I don't even want to be around other peoples kids...but i'm told, apparently that having your own is different.

 

[GhostPoet]

normal teenage years? Curious as to what that means for you?

My wife and I never had friends growing up. Due to a rough childhood and for me rough school years. We are only just now making friends and getting to experience what having a fun social life is all about.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

My mum had me when she was 36. I was an accident, but a welcome one; she'd wanted to have a child for a long time.

I don't know that I will ever have kids.

I would hate to raise children if I had any dreams unaccomplished, because I wouldn't want to be the kind of parent filled with regret and bitterness about their own life and pushing their kids to act them out for them.

So if there is time, after I've become a successful journalist and travelled the world then I'll think about it.

And even then I would have to be really truly in love, and with someone who really wanted kids and was great with them. I wouldn't just have kids because that's what society says you should do.

And heck, even then I might just choose to adopt or even foster. Give the kids who really need love a home and some stability, rather than looking for a way to replicate myself (which i'm convinced is what half of parents do).

I love kids, think they are great fun. I just don't like parents and am therefore not sure I wanna be one.

It might sound selfish. I dunno. But I'm not a selfish person at all. I have a great number of close friends who all know they could ring me up and I'd rescue them in a heartbeat. I care deeply about things and people.

But if i'm not at a place in my life where having a kid, and living the lifestyle that goes with it, is going to make me happy... Then what good am I to the kid? What will my misery, even if I attempt to hide it; even if I of course love them and show it in every way I can, do to them in the long run?

 

[mrvlknight21]

When I was in my 20s, I didnt want kids.
However, after I got married, I knew it would happen sooner or later. My wife had our daughter when I was 33.
I love her more than anything on this earth. Everyday is an awesome adventure with her.

 

[Suirou]

My parents wanted two and I was the third child but I was raised fine. They were more like, "I want two, I want two, I want tw-- whoops ... oh well".
I did tell them that I wanted a young sibling but they wouldn't get one for me.

As for me, I do want kids and my significant other wanted kids as well but we wanted to travel around the world and experience different cultures before we get kids and the best thing about us is that we are guys so there wouldn't be any accidents.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Dude! That's awesome! My wife and I recently started doing the same thing! We're sponsoring a kid in India.

We keep being told that we will regret not having kids if we don't. I don't want my wife to live with a regret like that...on the other hand I don't want her to resent me if she doesn't like having a kid either. oi.

When I see pictures of kids (like the one above) my heart doesn't melt...there is nothing inside me that goes "awwwww" when I see someones kid being cute. I don't even want to be around other peoples kids...but i'm told, apparently that having your own is different.

Thats what my mother always said. But I dont necessarily want my life to change.

I admit, I do have a fatherly instinct. I like my friend's kids and I'm happy for my other friend, whose wife is expecting. Much as I like the kids, I dont think I can handle the screaming, the demands, the finances. I like to correspond with the boy in India and the girl in Kenya, but the every-few-month letter is enough for me.