Uwe Boll VS Critics

V

VideoGames

Guest
If you do not know who Uwe Boll is Uwe Boll is a Director who makes Movies from Video Games & each one has sucked so bad.

Uwe Boll is now calling his critics to the mat! As IGN readers will surely know, Dr. Boll's films Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead were widely skewered by fans and critics alike. But in a recent press release, which we received from Boll himself (lest you doubt the authenticity of this report), he points out that the two movies cost $20 million and have grossed over $110 million thus far. On paper, that's a successful track record. Similar negative reactions from the press and on the internet are now being directed at Uwe Boll's most recent film, BloodRayne, which recently arrived on DVD. And from the sound of things, Dr. Boll has had it! "I am fed up," he says. "I'm fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who've never watched my films. I have been told that BloodRayne has a very bad IMDb rating but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres."
So, what's he gonna do about? Get this... The 5 most outspoken critics of Boll's work will be chosen to fly to Vacouver and the set of his forthcoming game-to-film adaptation of Postal. They'll be hooked with stand-in or extra roles in the movie and will... this just keeps getting better... have the opportunity to don boxing gloves and enter the ring where they'll square off with Boll in a 10 bout match! Scenes from the fights will make it into the film and they'll all be shown on the internet.
Interested? Here's the small print:
To be eligible only critics who have posted on the internet or who have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005 will be considered. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to: [email protected].
All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 140 lbs. and 190 lbs. You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid nor entitle to any residuals or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be paid.
The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and therefore eligible to enter the contest for being picked to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.

Headhunter004
Adultswimlover2
Evolution_500_2
Greatnates
thedoomsdaybegins
GunnerySergeantNumbnuts
Murdoc995
AimeeBrookes
ChineseOldMarketMan
GabeLogan9060
Veedragon40
BigSexy77
TylerDurden52
Dan223-1
howdy4641430-1


You will surely not want to miss this, so keep checking back on IGN for more!

http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/712/712601p1.html
 
I honestly hope someone puts him in the hospital.

Don't kill him though. I don't want to sound evil :o.
 
Boom said:
I honestly hope someone puts him in the hospital.

Don't kill him though. I don't want to sound evil :o.

I do. :)

KILL THE BASTARD!!! PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY!!! FINISH HIM!!!
 
I can go farther. Take your time killing him. With a fre medical texts and some O negative blood you can make it last a week or two. :doom:
 
JackBauer said:
I do. :)

KILL THE BASTARD!!! PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY!!! FINISH HIM!!!



*sigh* kids today... It's put him out of OUR misery, not his. Remember he gets paid to make those peices of crap.
 
This seems too weird to be true, but I guess it is Boll after all. There is no way he could do five, 10 round bouts in a short period of time unless Boll plays some bum fighter in the movie who keeps on losing.
 
I didn't think the guy could get videogame footage cut into a movie either, but who knew?
 
Horrorfan said:
I didn't think the guy could get videogame footage cut into a movie either, but who knew?

Which movie was that? House of the dead?
 
VideoGames said:
If you do not know who Uwe Boll is Uwe Boll is a Director who makes Movies from Video Games & each one has sucked so bad.

Uwe Boll is now calling his critics to the mat! As IGN readers will surely know, Dr. Boll's films Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead were widely skewered by fans and critics alike. But in a recent press release, which we received from Boll himself (lest you doubt the authenticity of this report), he points out that the two movies cost $20 million and have grossed over $110 million thus far. On paper, that's a successful track record. Similar negative reactions from the press and on the internet are now being directed at Uwe Boll's most recent film, BloodRayne, which recently arrived on DVD. And from the sound of things, Dr. Boll has had it! "I am fed up," he says. "I'm fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who've never watched my films. I have been told that BloodRayne has a very bad IMDb rating but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres."
So, what's he gonna do about? Get this... The 5 most outspoken critics of Boll's work will be chosen to fly to Vacouver and the set of his forthcoming game-to-film adaptation of Postal. They'll be hooked with stand-in or extra roles in the movie and will... this just keeps getting better... have the opportunity to don boxing gloves and enter the ring where they'll square off with Boll in a 10 bout match! Scenes from the fights will make it into the film and they'll all be shown on the internet.
Interested? Here's the small print:
To be eligible only critics who have posted on the internet or who have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005 will be considered. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to: [email protected].
All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 140 lbs. and 190 lbs. You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid nor entitle to any residuals or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be paid.
The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and therefore eligible to enter the contest for being picked to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.

Headhunter004
Adultswimlover2
Evolution_500_2
Greatnates
thedoomsdaybegins
GunnerySergeantNumbnuts
Murdoc995
AimeeBrookes
ChineseOldMarketMan
GabeLogan9060
Veedragon40
BigSexy77
TylerDurden52
Dan223-1
howdy4641430-1


You will surely not want to miss this, so keep checking back on IGN for more!

http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/712/712601p1.html


THIS IS JUST TOO SURREAL. :down:confused:
 
KevanG said:
Which movie was that? House of the dead?

Yup :(

I rember when he announced game footage at the moment, that was the EXACT moment everyone around the world lost faith in any hope it would turn out good. But we still didn't know of the horror to come...
 
I rented that few years back, besides the T&A it was pretty bad.
 
I believe UWE BOLL is the smartest man who has ever existed... Future generations will build monuments to him :(
 
:confused: Mentok I think you took a few too many stoners minds
 
I just dont understand. Who in there right mind would keep giving this guy money?????? I saw alone in the dark zzzzzzzzzz. There is actually a scene where one of the females dies, shes on the floor, and before the camera can get off of her completely, she gets up and walks off set AHA!!!!! HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!! This guys should just take a nap and never make a movie again.
 
I have alone in the dark... I got it from blockbuster at a 2-for-1 sale. I only ever saw a few previews from a year or so earlier and I remember thinking it might not be bad. Damn was I wrong :(
 
KevanG said:
I have alone in the dark... I got it from blockbuster at a 2-for-1 sale. I only ever saw a few previews from a year or so earlier and I remember thinking it might not be bad. Damn was I wrong :(


YEAH, THE THING ABOUT BOLL'S MOVIES IS, THEY DON'T JUST WASTE GOOD VIDEOGAME LICENSES........THEY WASTE GOOD FILM. EVEN IF ALL OF HIS MOVIES WERE STAND-ALONE BODIES OF WORK, BASED SOLELY ON ORIGINAL CONCEPTS/SCRIPTS........THEY'D STILL SUCK ASS, IN A PAINFUL WAY. :down:(
 
THWIP* said:
YEAH, THE THING ABOUT BOLL'S MOVIES IS, THEY DON'T JUST WASTE GOOD VIDEOGAME LICENSES........THEY WASTE GOOD FILM. EVEN IF ALL OF HIS MOVIES WERE STAND-ALONE BODIES OF WORK, BASED SOLELY ON ORIGINAL CONCEPTS/SCRIPTS........THEY'D STILL SUCK ASS, IN A PAINFUL WAY. :down:(

Agreed. What makes me laugh is he makes these game movies that really have no market. I mean come on, you think people were really shouting for an alone in the dark movie? How about House of the dead??? I know I wasnt. These movies are already set up to fail. What's his next one, Postal, and dungeon siege? I mean come on, who cares. He shouldnt be allowed to make films.
 
What I found really funny, was when rumors had Boll directing the Metal Gear Solid movie. There was such a huge outrage from fans that the creator actually came out and said that Boll was never even considered for the movie and not only that, but he would never be.
 
Damn it KevanG!!! I wanted to say that. I'm SO glad Kojima personally guaranteed that Uwe Boll won't be involved in any way. If Peter Jackson wasn't doing Halo, I would have wanted him to do it.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Staff online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
200,778
Messages
21,810,205
Members
45,626
Latest member
WolverineHunt01
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"