What a Serious B***CH!!

[Mrh7448]

I can't believe this.

My friend is get married to the Queen Bi*** of the universe. We've known each other for about 14 years, since High School, as well as a couple of other High school friends we went to the Stag and Doe.

His Fiance didn't even come over and say Hi when we came in. I took 3 pictures for their raffle so they could make some money for their wedding. She decides to keep them, I was kind of offended because if I didn't feel they should give them away I wouldn't have offered them in the first place.

Also since I'm an usher I expected that they would have me do something but they never asked, so I couldn't be bothered to offer. I just wanted to have some fun after working all day. They had a BBQ which I couldn't make for I had some family obligations, yet they could still e-mail, call or MSN me easily. I offered to get them good door prizes but they didn't follow up so too bad.

The party was lame, bunch of games crap music and felt like a high school dance. But there was booze so okay, and I got pretty drunk, except not in a destroy the Stag kind of way. At the end of the night with the clean up obviously I was still kind of out of it and didn't think to offer assisstance, but if they had asked I would have given. The whole time she talked down to my friend like he was a child and when he said he wanted to go and hang out with his old friends she got really mad. So they had a full house as we crashed at their place and they didn't even sleep in the same bed.

So the next day we went for breakfast, and we voiced our concerns, well I started it. How she seemed controlling and dominant, that we wondered if there might have been an ultimatum etc. Just that we were a bit concerned he was making the right choice which he kept assuring us he was.

So today she sends me an email all sweet an honey like on the surface but dripping with poison underneath. How that I shouldn't judge her or their relationship, that he always has time for stuff like the gym and jui-jutsu. That I should have offered to help at the Stag, and that her friend who did help should have allowed to stay at their place while I didn't do anything and stayed. Basically she's trying to defend her and the relationship and it's all about her. I never mentioned anything to him about his Gym/Jui-jutsu stuff, nor the impression I had when I first met her, and yet both of these things came up in her e-mail.

This just makes me more concerned about it, and I know I can't go to the wedding now, as much as I want to support my friend, it's not right. Dammit what a B***CH!

Cripes if she had e-maile telling me how much of an A**hole I was being I would have felt better about, at least she would have shown she had some passion, or trying to make sure I got to talk with her more to try and prove that she was the right person, but the crap she sent, no way.

I can't deal with it, or her. Guess I'm gonna lose a very good friend but that's the way it's gotta be.

Damn I hate her right now...


Am I right, wrong and idiot? Damn it I'm not even sure what to think right now that I'm so pissed off!

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Wow, you sure don't know what it takes to be "Queen B**** of the Universe".

One of my friend's girlfriends told him that if he wouldn't impregnate her she'd find someone who would. He was 28 minutes late to a party because he got a flat tire and she got so mad that she attacked him...so savagely that she broke his pinky and CRACKED his motorcycle helmet.

I, don't think I could crack a motorcycle helmet if I tried.

Your b**** is nothing.

 

[Sabretooth]

You don't have to call off a relationship with your friend because of his wife.

 

[Mrh7448]

Yeah no kidding, hell I know there's worse...I'm just really ticked off right now about the whole.

Hell her e-mail was all about her, just like their damned relationship.

She may not be the biggest B**ch around but she still is in my book. or maybe just the biggest freakin twit.

 

[Erzengel]

Not liking your friend's gf/fiance/wife is very common. But once you say something to your friend, that's the last time you ever can say anything. If she is as controlling as you say, she has already probably started distancing him from you and the rest of your friends. So say something once and then that's it.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

He married her because *****es are good in the sack.

 

[Mrh7448]

You don't have to call off a relationship with your friend because of his wife.

Yeah I know, I just can't go to the wedding, so I don't think he's gonna want to hang around much with us anymore. Not that he has been since he been with her anyway.

If we don't talk anymore it won't be because of me, but I can't in good conscience go to a wedding I really don't support.

 

[Darthphere]

I sense jealousy in his post.

 

[jaguarr]

I'm not saying who's right or who's wrong because I really don't know the situation other than the side of it you've described above. However, I can tell you this; this woman is going to be your friend's wife and therefore she will always take priority for him over everyone else. If you keep trying to come between them (and that's what it has been perceived as, based on the email she sent you), then you'll find yourself out of the picture pretty damn fast. Your best bet is to just try to be civil with her and appreciate the time you're able to get with your friend. Most people disappear off the face of the earth where their friends are concerned when they first get married, and it's got nothing to do with anyone else. It's just that couple enjoying those early married times and establishing themselves as a married couple. Be supportive as you can, don't be a dick and maybe you'll still have your friend down the line. I guarantee you won't have your friend much longer if you continue with this tact. Again, I'm not saying you're right or wrong and frankly it doesn't really matter. What your friend and his wife-to-be think of your actions is really all that's going to matter or have any impact, here. As a married man, I'm thankful that none of my friends did any of the things you say you've done when I was getting married, though.

Good luck.

jag

 

[Mrh7448]

Not liking your friend's gf/fiance/wife is very common. But once you say something to your friend, that's the last time you ever can say anything. If she is as controlling as you say, she has already probably started distancing him from you and the rest of your friends. So say something once and then that's it.

I did say my piece and was willing to leave it at that. If she hadn't e-mailed me with all this crap that would have been the end of it. But I'm not going to be able to deal with her, she's manipulative and you can sense that in the way she acts and writes.

 

[Sabretooth]

Yeah I know, I just can't go to the wedding, so I don't think he's gonna want to hang around much with us anymore. Not that he has been since he been with her anyway.

If we don't talk anymore it won't be because of me, but I can't in good conscience go to a wedding I really don't support.

I'd still go if he's your friend. If you don't he'll think of how much of a bastard you are. Just avoid the wife....if you can.

 

[tzarinna]

So if I want to find a man and get married I have to be a *****

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Yeah I know, I just can't go to the wedding, so I don't think he's gonna want to hang around much with us anymore. Not that he has been since he been with her anyway.

If we don't talk anymore it won't be because of me, but I can't in good conscience go to a wedding I really don't support.

Are you crazy.
You HAVE to go...to stand up and object to this union!

 

[Erzengel]

I don't know jag. If I thought my friend was making a huge mistake, I would say something to him and risk losing the friendship.

 

[Erzengel]

I did say my piece and was willing to leave it at that. If she hadn't e-mailed me with all this crap that would have been the end of it. But I'm not going to be able to deal with her, she's manipulative and you can sense that in the way she acts and writes.

So he probably told her everything you said about her and there's your answer. So either bow out of being his friend or accept the fact that this is the girl he's going to marry. But don't be a dick and bring it up to him if you are ever hanging out together.

 

[Darthphere]

I don't know jag. If I thought my friend was making a huge mistake, I would say something to him and risk losing the friendship.

I sense fruitness in your post.

 

[Franklin Richards]

Did you at least give her The Clap?

 

[THWIP*]

I can't believe this.

My friend is get married to the Queen Bi*** of the universe. We've known each other for about 14 years, since High School, as well as a couple of other High school friends we went to the Stag and Doe.

His Fiance didn't even come over and say Hi when we came in. I took 3 pictures for their raffle so they could make some money for their wedding. She decides to keep them, I was kind of offended because if I didn't feel they should give them away I wouldn't have offered them in the first place.

Also since I'm an usher I expected that they would have me do something but they never asked, so I couldn't be bothered to offer. I just wanted to have some fun after working all day. They had a BBQ which I couldn't make for I had some family obligations, yet they could still e-mail, call or MSN me easily. I offered to get them good door prizes but they didn't follow up so too bad.

The party was lame, bunch of games crap music and felt like a high school dance. But there was booze so okay, and I got pretty drunk, except not in a destroy the Stag kind of way. At the end of the night with the clean up obviously I was still kind of out of it and didn't think to offer assisstance, but if they had asked I would have given. The whole time she talked down to my friend like he was a child and when he said he wanted to go and hang out with his old friends she got really mad. So they had a full house as we crashed at their place and they didn't even sleep in the same bed.

So the next day we went for breakfast, and we voiced our concerns, well I started it. How she seemed controlling and dominant, that we wondered if there might have been an ultimatum etc. Just that we were a bit concerned he was making the right choice which he kept assuring us he was.

So today she sends me an email all sweet an honey like on the surface but dripping with poison underneath. How that I shouldn't judge her or their relationship, that he always has time for stuff like the gym and jui-jutsu. That I should have offered to help at the Stag, and that her friend who did help should have allowed to stay at their place while I didn't do anything and stayed. Basically she's trying to defend her and the relationship and it's all about her. I never mentioned anything to him about his Gym/Jui-jutsu stuff, nor the impression I had when I first met her, and yet both of these things came up in her e-mail.

This just makes me more concerned about it, and I know I can't go to the wedding now, as much as I want to support my friend, it's not right. Dammit what a B***CH!

Cripes if she had e-maile telling me how much of an A**hole I was being I would have felt better about, at least she would have shown she had some passion, or trying to make sure I got to talk with her more to try and prove that she was the right person, but the crap she sent, no way.

I can't deal with it, or her. Guess I'm gonna lose a very good friend but that's the way it's gotta be.

Damn I hate her right now...


Am I right, wrong and idiot? Damn it I'm not even sure what to think right now that I'm so pissed off!

SCINTILLATING AND MESMERIZING.

 

[Mrh7448]

I'm not saying who's right or who's wrong because I really don't know the situation other than the side of it you've described above. However, I can tell you this; this woman is going to be your friend's wife and therefore she will always take priority for him over everyone else. If you keep trying to come between them (and that's what it has been perceived as, based on the email she sent you), then you'll find yourself out of the picture pretty damn fast. Your best bet is to just try to be civil with her and appreciate the time you're able to get with your friend. Most people disappear off the face of the earth where their friends are concerned when they first get married, and it's got nothing to do with anyone else. It's just that couple enjoying those early married times and establishing themselves as a married couple. Be supportive as you can, don't be a dick and maybe you'll still have your friend down the line. I guarantee you won't have your friend much longer if you continue with this tact. Again, I'm not saying you're right or wrong and frankly it doesn't really matter. What your friend and his wife-to-be think of your actions is really all that's going to matter or have any impact, here. As a married man, I'm thankful that none of my friends did any of the things you say you've done when I was getting married, though.

Good luck.

jag

Well if it was only me that it was happening too or thinking it then yes I would second guess myself. But his brother is falling outside of the picture as well.

This is someone who I use to see pretty much every other weekend even when he was with his ex. Since this one has come into the picture that's gone to 6 times in the last 3 years, and it's not just me, it's other friends (who are closer in proximity) and family.

Well I have this to say, I have other friends who felt that if those who didn't say anything had piped up it would have saved them a lot of grief, even if they hadn't listened, they've been grateful to the people who had.

I'm guessing that you and your wife are fairly happy and though your friends might have become second to you they have disappeared altogether as it's been in this particular situation.

I'm not someone to just jump into a course of action, but I have thought this through and I've second guess myself the whole way. It's the nature and tone of her e-mail that got to me and the fact she brought up stuff that I hadn't even mentioned to him, so obviously there are things that have been bothering him as well.

If it was just myself then yes I would say I would just keep my mouth shut, but it's not, it's his other friends and family and in my mind that makes a huge difference.

 

[Erzengel]

I sense fruitness in your post.

Eh, I just don't want them making a mistake. I'm not stopping or trying to persuade them from doing otherwise, just making sure this is what they want.

 

[jaguarr]

I don't know jag. If I thought my friend was making a huge mistake, I would say something to him and risk losing the friendship.

Definitely, but you get one shot at that conversation and you have to make it count. It will also likely be taken more seriously if you dont' slag out on things like helping out with the party and getting completely wasted instead, and then bringing up the fact that you don't like your friend's fiance at breakfast the next day, etc., etc. Besides, rarely does anyone ever get talked out of marrying another person by their friend(s), in my experience (and I've seen a few valiant efforts at it in my days). Sometimes, the best you can hope for is to maintain the friendship somehow and hope that the person your friend is marrying doesn't f**k up their life (or your friendship with them) too badly.

jag

 

[Dope Nose]

IHis Fiance didn't even come over and say Hi when we came in. I took 3 pictures for their raffle so they could make some money for their wedding. She decides to keep them

They had a BBQ which I couldn't make for I had some family obligations, yet they could still e-mail, call or MSN me easily. I offered to get them good door prizes but they didn't follow up so too bad.

At the end of the night with the clean up obviously I was still kind of out of it and didn't think to offer assisstance, but if they had asked I would have given.

how dare she ruin your special day. oh wait, it's HER WEDDING!

How that I shouldn't judge her or their relationship

she's right. it's their relationship.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I don't understand why it's so Black and White with you all.
My best friend was planning an obvious mistake wedding to a chick he'd known for about a month and my three other closest friends and I all met him and had an intervention where we all told him very clearly that he was being a fool.
It got super-heated, I had 3 anxiety attacks that I had to walk off, everyone's faces got red, voices were raised, but we're all still best friends.

Friends can disagree and then you just have to be an adult about it if they stay together and you hate his/her guts.

I live with my best friend and his girlfriend who bugs the hell out of me. You just behave civilly and do your best to ignore the offending b****. (unless you're very drunk. Then you have a huge epic fight where years worth of resentment comes out in dollops of gratuitous name-calling and cruel barbs, act like it didn't happen the next day, wait about 6 or 7 months before having the next blow-up.)

 

[Darthphere]

Eh, I just don't want them making a mistake. I'm not stopping or trying to persuade them from doing otherwise, just making sure this is what they want.

Youre a good friend. A very "good" friend.

 

[Erzengel]

Definitely, but you get one shot at that conversation and you have to make it count. It will also likely be taken more seriously if you dont' slag out on things like helping out with the party and getting completely wasted instead, and then bringing up the fact that you don't like your friend's fiance at breakfast the next day, etc., etc. Besides, rarely does anyone ever get talked out of marrying another person by their friend(s), in my experience (and I've seen a few valiant efforts at it in my days). Sometimes, the best you can hope for is to maintain the friendship somehow and hope that the person your friend is marrying doesn't f**k up their life (or your friendship with them) too badly.

jag

Yeah. I have a feeling Mrh7448 is hurt and upset and him not helping out and stuff is his way at "trying to get his point across" which won't work. He had to make that one shot convo count and I don't think he did.