What is the most awkward/worst thing you've said to the opposite sex?

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by crounsa810, Oct 28, 2012.

  1. crounsa810 Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    1
    I seem to have this amazing ability to meet a cute girl, start a conversation, see that it's going well, and then derail it with the most asinine, crazy, awkward things. Or, just even start out horribly awkward.

    For instance,

    ----"It must suck to be an anteater"
    "Why?"
    "Cause you'd have ants on the brain all the time. That would drive me insane"
    "Hahaha"
    "Like s**t, wouldn't it tickle? Ants on your brain all the time? I think it would tickle my brain and that'd just drive me nuts."
    ".......[​IMG] I'mmmm...gonna go over...there"


    ---"Do you like aardvarks?"
    "What?"
    "Do you like aardvarks? Cause you kinda remind me of an aardvark."
    "WHAT!!?"
    "OH NO!! Noo noo noo I mean...you're cute...like an aardvark...cause they're cute..and you're cute...and...I'm not saying you have a big nose.."
    "WHAT?!!? ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY NOSE?!?!"
    "Noooo noo I'm just saying....you're....cute....and....s**t..."
    "I'm very self conscious about my nose you as***le."
    "I am soo sorry. Your nose is very cute though! Every thing on your face is cute!"
    "OH? So what are you saying?"
    "I don't know...I think I've had too much to drink...I'm gonna go away....I'm sorry"

    --- (Talking about Boy Meets World)
    Her: "People always say I look like Topanga"
    "NOOO!! That's nonsense!!! You don't look like Topanga!! She was like....chunky...and looked like a fish. You don't look like a fish she looks....like a fish...you...you're not..fishy...she's......she's kinda..fish....like.....and...you're not....."

    ---(Talking about squirrels)
    Her: "OMG hahaha you're nuts!!!!"
    "Maybe that's why they keep coming to my house!"
    "HAHAHAHA!!!"
    "I wish I had a raccoon though. And a chipmunk. Cause then I could have a traveling band of rodents. I'd call them The Rodents. I could be their manager..I'd be filthy rich."
    "........[​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]......[​IMG]"

    --- (At a bar, bartender comes up. She's gorgeous.)
    Her: "Hey what can I get you to drink?"
    "You're...hi...uh....well, I'll have a....uhhh..uh.....you....you...you're..wow. I would like...what are you called? I...I would like one of those."
    "One of what?"
    "You. I would like.....you. Whatever drink is you are...I would...I would like that. Can..I have...one? Please?"
    "..........[​IMG]............."
    "S**t. Well, I'll have 3 jack and cokes now to forget this moment. Make them double. PLEASE. I am so sorry"

    ---(At work, cashiering. Cute girl comes up to buy lipgloss, yoga pants, and shampoo. Holy hell she was hot)
    "Hi, how are you today?"
    "Good! How are you!?"
    "Lovely. You're.....uhhhhhhh....sooo that'll be (total). Would you like a bang? A BANG! A BANG! CRAP! NO!! A BAG!! WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG!!!?"
    "Hahaa yeahh...yeah I'll take one."
    "I am sooo sorry. It must have been a Freudian slit. S**t! SLIP. SLIP!! OH GOD!"
    ".....[​IMG] [​IMG]"


    So I'm never gonna leave my house ever again. What's the worst you've done?
     
  2. Mace Dolex Powerful User

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2009
    Messages:
    5,593
    Likes Received:
    4
    I asked a co-worker of mine out but only because I was told she had a crush on me and so on our second date when I lean over to kiss her I stupidly said "You haven't practiced kissing much, right?"

    In my head I knew right away that I blew it and she got upset, sadly to say we never went out again and I transferred to another job.
     
  3. Quasimod0 Bell-Ringer

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2011
    Messages:
    13,425
    Likes Received:
    16
    Whoah. Sounds like you oughtta lay off the drinking
     
  4. terry78 My name is Stefan, sweet thang

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2004
    Messages:
    88,409
    Likes Received:
    8,337
    First time I asked a girl out was with the opener, "do you like books?"
     
  5. TinkTonks loves her some Tom Hardy!

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was thinking the same thing....:o


    Haha, that's not so bad! If someone said that to me, I would have been just nerdy enough to be like 'For sure! In fact, I just finished this one book called John Dies at the End, and *long conversation to follow*.
     
  6. TinkTonks loves her some Tom Hardy!

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't ever, ever, ask a guy out. I always wait for them to make the first move. Probably a real good reason I've not been on a date in forever! So while I don't have anything that I've said to contribute, I can share some of the worst ones I've gotten:

    I was playing pool with a friend of mine once, and this guy walked up to me and said: "You, me, a six pack and we'll go f'*** like rabbits in the woods." :csad:

    While shopping: "Hey, I haven't seen you around before! You got kids? How old are you?" At the time I was like 25, but I always look like I am in my teens. When I told him my age he was like "Really? Wow! Well, I gotta go....nice to talk to you." :whatever:

    My favorite one was when me and my best friend at the time were out and these two guys had been eyeing us. One of the guys walked up to me while the other hung back: "Ummm, hey. My friend really wants to go out with your friend, and he said we could double date. So if you want to, I guess, we could go out.....sometime. I kinda owe him." :doh:
     
  7. donkeypunch Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2012
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was loaded and said "Have you ever farted in the shower?" Surprisingly the conversation went on.
     
  8. Godzilla2000 Dollar Store Diva

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    I've been often questioning the validity of men's claims that I as a woman have no rights and they have the right to tell me what they want me to believe. Never question a man's sovereign rule and be a dumb, blank slate, gutter trash sex addicted trollop without a mind of her own and dignity if you want guys to stay with you.
     
  9. DarkSovereignty Ooga Chakka

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2006
    Messages:
    14,976
    Likes Received:
    28
    ...what does that to have to do with anything said in this thread?
     
  10. Spider-Aziz I Wanna Be...

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2010
    Messages:
    82,959
    Likes Received:
    6,742
    ^What he said
    The title asks "what you said", not "what you were told"
     
  11. C. Lee Superherohype Administrator

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2002
    Messages:
    72,353
    Likes Received:
    25,416
    Ab-so-lute-ly nothing......as do pretty much all of her posts no matter where she posts them.
     
  12. Spider-Aziz I Wanna Be...

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2010
    Messages:
    82,959
    Likes Received:
    6,742
    In her defense, she states music she listens to here
     
  13. Nell2ThaIzzay Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,631
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, considering the results from the party I went to last night, apparently the most awkward thing I've said to a girl was "Those are nice tattoos"...
     
  14. captainrogers Diluted SuperSoldier

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,445
    Likes Received:
    0
    "I love you"
    But I'm a bit jaded/upset with the fems not related to me in my life, at the mo'.
     
  15. Quasimod0 Bell-Ringer

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2011
    Messages:
    13,425
    Likes Received:
    16
    what happened man? I dont wanna be creepy or nothin but i noticed you changed bases also. You used to be at the base near my house, Hurlburt
     
  16. Quasimod0 Bell-Ringer

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2011
    Messages:
    13,425
    Likes Received:
    16
    Wait what? Are you encouraging women to be dumb sex addicted trollops with no minds to get men?
     
  17. Lighthouse Fairness, Equality, Bacon

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Messages:
    14,809
    Likes Received:
    2,036
    I'm sad that I really cannot narrow it down to just one thing.
     
  18. Erzengel |-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Messages:
    74,575
    Likes Received:
    3,238
    Hey, I like your ink.....

    More specifically, I would comment on an actual tattoo or question the meaning.

    And to add to this conversation...."What are we going to do about this?"
     
  19. TheAQU4M4N K1NG Of ATL4NTiS!

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    4,022
    Likes Received:
    31
    Somehow I was in the same room when my friend at my girlfriends house party, was surprised by this girl he hasn't seen in like 5 years he meant to say "holy **** it's you!!" But he ended up saying " I want to **** on you!!" Mind you we were at a fairly busy party and he screamed it. She forgave him seeing as they were best friends for a long time but he's still haunted by that (seeing as its a great joke)
     
  20. captainrogers Diluted SuperSoldier

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,445
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh hey, Yeah, I got my duty station changed.
    Up here in Maryland now.
    A lot's been going on.
    Seperated from my ex.
    (a good thing, by and large)
    Met a seemingly perfect woman. I mean Perfect.
    We fell for eachother, She had orders to England. Left.
    We were gonna do the long distance thing. We both said we were willing.
    She changed her mind.
    Ah well.
     
  21. Quasimod0 Bell-Ringer

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2011
    Messages:
    13,425
    Likes Received:
    16
    Well thats real crappy man. I'm sorry. I think I remeber you havin a daughter with this other woman too. Youre in my prayers bud
     
  22. Pink Ranger The North Remembers

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    34,646
    Likes Received:
    1,800
    :lmao: Man, that's lame. Like Ralph Wiggum lame. Thanks for making me look like James Bond by comparison.
     
  23. Slushy Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2008
    Messages:
    8,803
    Likes Received:
    2
    "You have a small vagina."

    Stupid of me to say at the time.
     
  24. Pink Ranger The North Remembers

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    34,646
    Likes Received:
    1,800
    Actually, if you were in a position to make that direct observation, I'd guess that everything else you said up until that point must have been incredibly effective. ;)
     
  25. Quasimod0 Bell-Ringer

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2011
    Messages:
    13,425
    Likes Received:
    16
    He said it while she was fully clothed. :p
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"