What is the most awkward/worst thing you've said to the opposite sex?

[crounsa810]

I seem to have this amazing ability to meet a cute girl, start a conversation, see that it's going well, and then derail it with the most asinine, crazy, awkward things. Or, just even start out horribly awkward.

For instance,

----"It must suck to be an anteater"
"Why?"
"Cause you'd have ants on the brain all the time. That would drive me insane"
"Hahaha"
"Like s**t, wouldn't it tickle? Ants on your brain all the time? I think it would tickle my brain and that'd just drive me nuts."
".......

I'mmmm...gonna go over...there"


---"Do you like aardvarks?"
"What?"
"Do you like aardvarks? Cause you kinda remind me of an aardvark."
"WHAT!!?"
"OH NO!! Noo noo noo I mean...you're cute...like an aardvark...cause they're cute..and you're cute...and...I'm not saying you have a big nose.."
"WHAT?!!? ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY NOSE?!?!"
"Noooo noo I'm just saying....you're....cute....and....s**t..."
"I'm very self conscious about my nose you as***le."
"I am soo sorry. Your nose is very cute though! Every thing on your face is cute!"
"OH? So what are you saying?"
"I don't know...I think I've had too much to drink...I'm gonna go away....I'm sorry"

--- (Talking about Boy Meets World)
Her: "People always say I look like Topanga"
"NOOO!! That's nonsense!!! You don't look like Topanga!! She was like....chunky...and looked like a fish. You don't look like a fish she looks....like a fish...you...you're not..fishy...she's......she's kinda..fish....like.....and...you're not....."

---(Talking about squirrels)
Her: "OMG hahaha you're nuts!!!!"
"Maybe that's why they keep coming to my house!"
"HAHAHAHA!!!"
"I wish I had a raccoon though. And a chipmunk. Cause then I could have a traveling band of rodents. I'd call them The Rodents. I could be their manager..I'd be filthy rich."
"........

......

"

--- (At a bar, bartender comes up. She's gorgeous.)
Her: "Hey what can I get you to drink?"
"You're...hi...uh....well, I'll have a....uhhh..uh.....you....you...you're..wow. I would like...what are you called? I...I would like one of those."
"One of what?"
"You. I would like.....you. Whatever drink is you are...I would...I would like that. Can..I have...one? Please?"
"..........

............."
"S**t. Well, I'll have 3 jack and cokes now to forget this moment. Make them double. PLEASE. I am so sorry"

---(At work, cashiering. Cute girl comes up to buy lipgloss, yoga pants, and shampoo. Holy hell she was hot)
"Hi, how are you today?"
"Good! How are you!?"
"Lovely. You're.....uhhhhhhh....sooo that'll be (total). Would you like a bang? A BANG! A BANG! CRAP! NO!! A BAG!! WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG!!!?"
"Hahaa yeahh...yeah I'll take one."
"I am sooo sorry. It must have been a Freudian slit. S**t! SLIP. SLIP!! OH GOD!"
".....

"


So I'm never gonna leave my house ever again. What's the worst you've done?

 

[Mace Dolex]

I asked a co-worker of mine out but only because I was told she had a crush on me and so on our second date when I lean over to kiss her I stupidly said "You haven't practiced kissing much, right?"

In my head I knew right away that I blew it and she got upset, sadly to say we never went out again and I transferred to another job.

 

[Quasimod0]

Whoah. Sounds like you oughtta lay off the drinking

 

[terry78]

First time I asked a girl out was with the opener, "do you like books?"

 

[TinkTonks]

Whoah. Sounds like you oughtta lay off the drinking

I was thinking the same thing....

First time I asked a girl out was with the opener, "do you like books?"

Haha, that's not so bad! If someone said that to me, I would have been just nerdy enough to be like 'For sure! In fact, I just finished this one book called John Dies at the End, and *long conversation to follow*.

 

[TinkTonks]

I don't ever, ever, ask a guy out. I always wait for them to make the first move. Probably a real good reason I've not been on a date in forever! So while I don't have anything that I've said to contribute, I can share some of the worst ones I've gotten:

I was playing pool with a friend of mine once, and this guy walked up to me and said: "You, me, a six pack and we'll go f'*** like rabbits in the woods."

While shopping: "Hey, I haven't seen you around before! You got kids? How old are you?" At the time I was like 25, but I always look like I am in my teens. When I told him my age he was like "Really? Wow! Well, I gotta go....nice to talk to you."

My favorite one was when me and my best friend at the time were out and these two guys had been eyeing us. One of the guys walked up to me while the other hung back: "Ummm, hey. My friend really wants to go out with your friend, and he said we could double date. So if you want to, I guess, we could go out.....sometime. I kinda owe him."

 

[donkeypunch]

I was loaded and said "Have you ever farted in the shower?" Surprisingly the conversation went on.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I've been often questioning the validity of men's claims that I as a woman have no rights and they have the right to tell me what they want me to believe. Never question a man's sovereign rule and be a dumb, blank slate, gutter trash sex addicted trollop without a mind of her own and dignity if you want guys to stay with you.

 

[DarkSovereignty]

...what does that to have to do with anything said in this thread?

 

[Spider-Aziz]

^What he said
The title asks "what you said", not "what you were told"

 

[C. Lee]

...what does that to have to do with anything said in this thread?

Ab-so-lute-ly nothing......as do pretty much all of her posts no matter where she posts them.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

Ab-so-lute-ly nothing......as do pretty much all of her posts no matter where she posts them.

In her defense, she states music she listens to here

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Well, considering the results from the party I went to last night, apparently the most awkward thing I've said to a girl was "Those are nice tattoos"...

 

[captainrogers]

"I love you"
But I'm a bit jaded/upset with the fems not related to me in my life, at the mo'.

 

[Quasimod0]

"I love you"
But I'm a bit jaded/upset with the fems not related to me in my life, at the mo'.

what happened man? I dont wanna be creepy or nothin but i noticed you changed bases also. You used to be at the base near my house, Hurlburt

 

[Quasimod0]

I've been often questioning the validity of men's claims that I as a woman have no rights and they have the right to tell me what they want me to believe. Never question a man's sovereign rule and be a dumb, blank slate, gutter trash sex addicted trollop without a mind of her own and dignity if you want guys to stay with you.

Wait what? Are you encouraging women to be dumb sex addicted trollops with no minds to get men?

 

[Lighthouse]

I'm sad that I really cannot narrow it down to just one thing.

 

[Erzengel]

Well, considering the results from the party I went to last night, apparently the most awkward thing I've said to a girl was "Those are nice tattoos"...

Hey, I like your ink.....

More specifically, I would comment on an actual tattoo or question the meaning.

And to add to this conversation...."What are we going to do about this?"

 

[TheAQU4M4N]

Somehow I was in the same room when my friend at my girlfriends house party, was surprised by this girl he hasn't seen in like 5 years he meant to say "holy **** it's you!!" But he ended up saying " I want to **** on you!!" Mind you we were at a fairly busy party and he screamed it. She forgave him seeing as they were best friends for a long time but he's still haunted by that (seeing as its a great joke)

 

[captainrogers]

what happened man? I dont wanna be creepy or nothin but i noticed you changed bases also. You used to be at the base near my house, Hurlburt

Oh hey, Yeah, I got my duty station changed.
Up here in Maryland now.
A lot's been going on.
Seperated from my ex.
(a good thing, by and large)
Met a seemingly perfect woman. I mean Perfect.
We fell for eachother, She had orders to England. Left.
We were gonna do the long distance thing. We both said we were willing.
She changed her mind.
Ah well.

 

[Quasimod0]

Oh hey, Yeah, I got my duty station changed.
Up here in Maryland now.
A lot's been going on.
Seperated from my ex.
(a good thing, by and large)
Met a seemingly perfect woman. I mean Perfect.
We fell for eachother, She had orders to England. Left.
We were gonna do the long distance thing. We both said we were willing.
She changed her mind.
Ah well.

Well thats real crappy man. I'm sorry. I think I remeber you havin a daughter with this other woman too. Youre in my prayers bud

 

[Pink Ranger]

First time I asked a girl out was with the opener, "do you like books?"

Man, that's lame. Like Ralph Wiggum lame. Thanks for making me look like James Bond by comparison.

 

[Slushy]

"You have a small vagina."

Stupid of me to say at the time.

 

[Pink Ranger]

"You have a small vagina."

Stupid of me to say at the time.

Actually, if you were in a position to make that direct observation, I'd guess that everything else you said up until that point must have been incredibly effective.

 

[Quasimod0]

Actually, if you were in a position to make that direct observation, I'd guess that everything else you said up until that point must have been incredibly effective.

He said it while she was fully clothed.