crounsa810
Civilian
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2008
- Messages
- 125
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 38
I seem to have this amazing ability to meet a cute girl, start a conversation, see that it's going well, and then derail it with the most asinine, crazy, awkward things. Or, just even start out horribly awkward.
For instance,
----"It must suck to be an anteater"
"Why?"
"Cause you'd have ants on the brain all the time. That would drive me insane"
"Hahaha"
"Like s**t, wouldn't it tickle? Ants on your brain all the time? I think it would tickle my brain and that'd just drive me nuts."
".......
I'mmmm...gonna go over...there"
---"Do you like aardvarks?"
"What?"
"Do you like aardvarks? Cause you kinda remind me of an aardvark."
"WHAT!!?"
"OH NO!! Noo noo noo I mean...you're cute...like an aardvark...cause they're cute..and you're cute...and...I'm not saying you have a big nose.."
"WHAT?!!? ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY NOSE?!?!"
"Noooo noo I'm just saying....you're....cute....and....s**t..."
"I'm very self conscious about my nose you as***le."
"I am soo sorry. Your nose is very cute though! Every thing on your face is cute!"
"OH? So what are you saying?"
"I don't know...I think I've had too much to drink...I'm gonna go away....I'm sorry"
--- (Talking about Boy Meets World)
Her: "People always say I look like Topanga"
"NOOO!! That's nonsense!!! You don't look like Topanga!! She was like....chunky...and looked like a fish. You don't look like a fish she looks....like a fish...you...you're not..fishy...she's......she's kinda..fish....like.....and...you're not....."
---(Talking about squirrels)
Her: "OMG hahaha you're nuts!!!!"
"Maybe that's why they keep coming to my house!"
"HAHAHAHA!!!"
"I wish I had a raccoon though. And a chipmunk. Cause then I could have a traveling band of rodents. I'd call them The Rodents. I could be their manager..I'd be filthy rich."
"........
......
"
--- (At a bar, bartender comes up. She's gorgeous.)
Her: "Hey what can I get you to drink?"
"You're...hi...uh....well, I'll have a....uhhh..uh.....you....you...you're..wow. I would like...what are you called? I...I would like one of those."
"One of what?"
"You. I would like.....you. Whatever drink is you are...I would...I would like that. Can..I have...one? Please?"
"..........
............."
"S**t. Well, I'll have 3 jack and cokes now to forget this moment. Make them double. PLEASE. I am so sorry"
---(At work, cashiering. Cute girl comes up to buy lipgloss, yoga pants, and shampoo. Holy hell she was hot)
"Hi, how are you today?"
"Good! How are you!?"
"Lovely. You're.....uhhhhhhh....sooo that'll be (total). Would you like a bang? A BANG! A BANG! CRAP! NO!! A BAG!! WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG!!!?"
"Hahaa yeahh...yeah I'll take one."
"I am sooo sorry. It must have been a Freudian slit. S**t! SLIP. SLIP!! OH GOD!"
".....
"
So I'm never gonna leave my house ever again. What's the worst you've done?
For instance,
----"It must suck to be an anteater"
"Why?"
"Cause you'd have ants on the brain all the time. That would drive me insane"
"Hahaha"
"Like s**t, wouldn't it tickle? Ants on your brain all the time? I think it would tickle my brain and that'd just drive me nuts."
".......

---"Do you like aardvarks?"
"What?"
"Do you like aardvarks? Cause you kinda remind me of an aardvark."
"WHAT!!?"
"OH NO!! Noo noo noo I mean...you're cute...like an aardvark...cause they're cute..and you're cute...and...I'm not saying you have a big nose.."
"WHAT?!!? ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY NOSE?!?!"
"Noooo noo I'm just saying....you're....cute....and....s**t..."
"I'm very self conscious about my nose you as***le."
"I am soo sorry. Your nose is very cute though! Every thing on your face is cute!"
"OH? So what are you saying?"
"I don't know...I think I've had too much to drink...I'm gonna go away....I'm sorry"
--- (Talking about Boy Meets World)
Her: "People always say I look like Topanga"
"NOOO!! That's nonsense!!! You don't look like Topanga!! She was like....chunky...and looked like a fish. You don't look like a fish she looks....like a fish...you...you're not..fishy...she's......she's kinda..fish....like.....and...you're not....."
---(Talking about squirrels)
Her: "OMG hahaha you're nuts!!!!"
"Maybe that's why they keep coming to my house!"
"HAHAHAHA!!!"
"I wish I had a raccoon though. And a chipmunk. Cause then I could have a traveling band of rodents. I'd call them The Rodents. I could be their manager..I'd be filthy rich."
"........




--- (At a bar, bartender comes up. She's gorgeous.)
Her: "Hey what can I get you to drink?"
"You're...hi...uh....well, I'll have a....uhhh..uh.....you....you...you're..wow. I would like...what are you called? I...I would like one of those."
"One of what?"
"You. I would like.....you. Whatever drink is you are...I would...I would like that. Can..I have...one? Please?"
"..........

"S**t. Well, I'll have 3 jack and cokes now to forget this moment. Make them double. PLEASE. I am so sorry"
---(At work, cashiering. Cute girl comes up to buy lipgloss, yoga pants, and shampoo. Holy hell she was hot)
"Hi, how are you today?"
"Good! How are you!?"
"Lovely. You're.....uhhhhhhh....sooo that'll be (total). Would you like a bang? A BANG! A BANG! CRAP! NO!! A BAG!! WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG!!!?"
"Hahaa yeahh...yeah I'll take one."
"I am sooo sorry. It must have been a Freudian slit. S**t! SLIP. SLIP!! OH GOD!"
".....


So I'm never gonna leave my house ever again. What's the worst you've done?