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Who would win: Batman vs. Chuck Norris

hippie_hunter

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Who would win in the ultimate fight to the death. The Dark Knight, Batman or Walker, Texas Ranger and leader of the Karate Kommandoes: Chuck Norris?

batman-20060428022712015.jpg


My money's on Chuck ;)
 
Cassandra Cain and Bruce Lee show up, and destroy them both.
 
This is a question that has plagued me for quite some time. Chuck Norris is no pushover. He doesn't sleep... He waits. Even Batman sleeps, occasionally.

This is how the fight would go down...

Batman, seeing Chuck Norris as a potential threat to Gotham City as the city enters a second Quake much like the one in NML, due to Norris' roundhouse kicks, goes after Chuck with the Batplane. The plane crashes in Norris' beard, which we all know is indestructable. Batman, however, manages to escape.

Seeing the raw power of Norris' being, Batman enlists (Or forces, rather) the aid of Superman. Superman does everything he can to defeat Norris, but Norris simply laughs in his face and points out the face that the fist in his beard is 98% Magic, and 1% Kryptonite, Killing Superman instantly.

Before Batman can counter with enough time for preparation and study, Norris causes a massive earthquake near Wayne Manor, making the entire foundation fall ontop of Batman, turning him into human paste. Alfred too. And Stephanie Brown, since she finds some crappy way to come back by the time this story takes place. But no one really cares about that.

Norris by a beardhair.
 
Norris vs. Jesus Christ would be more of an even match. Norris is a god but as we all know Batman can defeat anyone....even if he happens to use a bowflex.
 
hippie_hunter said:
That picture is priceless. I love how it's this big battle in the background with Larry David and Erkel just standing there. And a War of the Worlds martian. It's rather bizarre.
 
I just love how Norris is laughing at Batman like a complete bastard. :D
 
I believe Batman and Chuck Norris would attempt to roundhouse kick each other at the same time, causing an explosion the equivalant of the blast that killed the dinosaurs. All life on Earth would be extinguished. Except Batman and Chuck Norris, of course.
But seriously(as serious as you can be talking about a fight between a fictional character and a geriatric karate master) Batman would dominate Chuck Norris.

and that picture is f**king hilarious.
 
I think we all need to stop with the Norris jokes; every magazine geared towards male audinces always has a Norris joke in every single one of their issues. It's getting annoying.

Oh, and Norris wouldn't stand a chance.
 
ROFL! this is most def a *save as* pic....
 
TheGrayGhost said:
I think we all need to stop with the Norris jokes; every magazine geared towards male audinces always has a Norris joke in every single one of their issues. It's getting annoying.

Oh, and Norris wouldn't stand a chance.
You better edit this post. If Chuck sees it, he'll roundhouse your head off :o
 
TheGrayGhost said:
Oh, and Norris wouldn't stand a chance.

Of course he would, Batman isn't real and exists on paper, Norris can beat up a peice of paper anyday.
 
yenaled said:
Of course he would, Batman isn't real and exists on paper, Norris can beat up a peice of paper anyday.

Aren't you guys talking about the characters Norris portrays on television and in movies? If so, they are equally fictional. And I don't think Norris really doesn't know any martial arts in real life.

But all of that is irrelevant, but you knew that. Sarcasm is hard to read.:o
 
That's blasphemous! God be with you, because Norris is going to be gunning for you.
 
Prep time > beard

Bats wins. And sends Chuck home crying his cancer curing tears.
 
TheGrayGhost said:
Aren't you guys talking about the characters Norris portrays on television and in movies? If so, they are equally fictional. And I don't think Norris really doesn't know any martial arts in real life.

But all of that is irrelevant, but you knew that. Sarcasm is hard to read.:o

Um, Chuck Norris is actually a quite acomplished martial artist.
 
GoldenAgeHero said:
jack baur beats both!

How? Make them watch an endless loop of "The 3 Musketeers" until thier heads explode?
 
Dwarf lord said:
Um, Chuck Norris is actually a quite acomplished martial artist.
Accomplished enough to admit to his dojo that he's isnt **** compared to Bruce Lee.:o God I love that story.
 
it's becoming apparent who's in on the norris joke and who isn't


I'd say batman...
norris doesn't have his industructable beard in that pic




did u know that norris doesn't do "normal" pushups...
he pushes the ground down!
 

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