Sequels X-men 4: Dawn of Reckoning

The Ones

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Ive decided to write my version of X-men 4. Tell me what to improve on and above all if you like it or not. Be honest but please give constructive critizism:

Part 1:

Opening Logo’s

The screen is filled with darkness. Then in the centre of the screen a white light appears, as it grows brighter, a strange voice is heard, like pro X but deeper

“Tragedy. It is an element of life. One we must all learn to face. It is only natural for us to bury it into the past, kept as secrets and forgotten only to be uncovered. But some secrets were never meant to be found…”

The music kick’s in with the X-men theme tune as we are rocketed into the light, blue wisps form on the screen creating DNA strands more of these strands are created as the background is now filled with red smoke. The blue DNA begins to be filled with a transparent liquid we are sent into the blue liquid as the words:

X-MEN 4: DAWN OF RECKONING

Are embossed from the rushing liquid, the words atomise as the liquid turns black and we are rocketed out. 2 doors slam in front of the titles forming a metal circle with a blue light in the middle. The camera pan’s into the blue light as the centre of the door turns around

Int. Setting: School Gym

We are in a Gym, clearly redecorated into a disco as teenager’s all in formal wear are dancing like there’s no tomorrow. The camera pan’s down to reveal a 15 year old kid. He has jet black hair and hazel brown eyes. He is lounging against the wall on the far side, alone. He is clearly focused on something in the crowd. We get the view of this lonely child and we find out he is focussed on a girl. She has light brown hair and dark blue eyes, dressed in a white dress clearly made of a light fabric. He starts to set of into a daydream when someone call’s to him

Teen:
Hey Scott.

Scott is broken out of his fantasy and turns to see his mate

Scott:
Hi Greg

Greg:
What’s a charming young man like you doing all on his own

Scott:
If you want to dance just ask

Greg:
Hey, you may be handsome but I have better tastes, girls for instance

Scott and Greg laugh in unison, both dismissing the previous comments as a joke

Scott:
Nah,

Scott becomes mesmerised by the same girl again, Greg looks in Scott’s eye view and sighs

Greg
Look, we all know you love Olivia, just ask her for a dance. You got nothing to loose.

Scott:
If it’s that simple you ask her

Greg:
Fine, your loss mate

Scott's eyeline follows Greg walking up to Olivia and immediately begins to regret it. He starts walking toward a door. He walks into it and is in the men’s bathroom.

Int. Men’s room

Scott runs the tap and cups his hand under the water, he puts his hands to his face submerging his face in water, he looks at the mirror as the water slowly drips of. The door bursts open and breaks Scott’s concentration.

Scott:
Stop doing that!

Greg:
Sorry, I just humiliated my self

Scott (smirking):
Why? What happened?

Greg:
I asked her to dance, the nerves got to me and I ran for it

Scott laughs at Greg; Greg is starting to get annoyed

Scott:
Not so easy is it?

Greg:
Well at least I tried, what have you done about it?


Scott:
Well…..um…

Greg:
Oh stop being an immature prick and move

Scott inhales and exhales deeply, he walks to the door and stops

Greg:
What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re nervous already?

Scott:
No, my eyes hurt for some reason.

Greg:
Happens to me all the time, try going to bed earlier.

Scott:
No, it’s not like that, this really hurts.

Greg:
Oh for god sake go on.

Scott begins to scream in agony, his eyes are starting to become red

Greg:
Dude, how much did you smoke?

Scott:
I didn’t smoke anything

Scott’s eyes are beginning to glow red by now

Scott:
ARGHH! I CANT SEE!!!

Greg pushes Scott out the door into the disco.

Int. Disco

Scott looks to Olivia. Just then a powerful red beam escapes his eyes at a tremendous force it pushes him back a few cm. Scott hears a loud, echoing scream throughout the gym from many people. He closes his eyes and duck’s. He begins to hear a number of cry’s and yells from many people. In the midst of the panic, he picks up a number of voices:


Man 1:
Oh my god! What did that freak do to her?

Man 2:
Olivia!!!

Man 3:
No, don’t go. Please!

Scott realises he has injured Olivia. He screams in tremendous angony
 
Comments? Advice? Thoughts?

Do you like it? Should i continue?
 
Part 2 (this is not quite as good as i hoped it would be, but further comments and advice would be greatly appreciated):

20 years later:

Ext: Forrest

A middle aged man, with one arm over his eyes and the other arm out is staggering through a forest, yet trying to walk forward, trying to remember what happened to him…

Flashback:

Scott and Jean are kissing. Scott’s face begins to bubble. Scott opens his eyes, the beam’s come rushing back to him with the same pain he experienced that night 20 years ago. Red optic blasts are propelled from Scott’s eyes and fire toward Jean’s face. With split second timing, Jean puts up a telekinetic barrier around herself. The force from the beam at such close range propels both Jean and Scott in opposite directions in an aura of bright red energy. Jean lands on the floor by the lake unconscious; Scott is sent flying into the forest and hit his head on a conveniently placed rock. He too is unconscious

End Flashback

Scott remembers the recent incidents. A tear somehow manages to escape his eye's. Secretly, under his breath

Scott:
No... Jean…What have I done to you


Int. Xavier Mansion- Kitchen

Students are enthusiastically running around in there pyjamas, bumping into each other and squeezing past to get breakfast. They are all laughing and are using there mutant power’s to there advantage to get food. Kitty Phases through everyone pushing and shoving and steadily walks through the crowd. We cut to Rogue and Bobby, who are on a sofa in the room opposite, in each other’s arms.

Bobby (to the students in the kitchen):
Quiet in there!

None of them respond. Bobby sighs and stretches his arm out to the kitchen. A beam of ice blasts from his hand in a crashing sound. The ice stops just inside and forms a wall as a replacement to the door. The noise is heavily reduced but we can hear student’s playful laughter turn to sounds of distress and cursing at Bobby. Bobby turns to Rogue and leans in for a kiss. They both stare into each others eyes as they draw nearer. There lips are hovering over each other. They are both distracted at the same time at the sound of a soft *swish* sound coming from the ice wall. Kitty Pryde comes out of the ice wall

Kitty:
Bobby, that was uncalled for.

Kitty sees Bobby and Rogue in each others arms but decides not to mention it

Bobby:
Kitty, could we have a little privacy please?

Kitty looks around in confusion as there clearly was never any privacy with all the students walking down the hallway. She looks at bobby in disgust

Kitty:
Sure, whatever

Kitty walks off angrily. Bobby gets up and runs after her, leaving Rogue looking on. Bobby grabs kitty on the shoulder.

Bobby:
Kitty…

Kitty’s shoulder phases through Bobby’s hand.

Bobby:
Kitty wait,

Kitty slowly stops and turns around. Her eyes are clearly filling with tears.

Bobby:
What is wrong with you? Rogue took the cure for me. I can’t just dump her now

Kitty:
Or maybe you loved her all along and I was just a substitute

Bobby:
Don’t think that
Kitty:
Why not, it’s the truth

Bobby:
Come on Kitty, you know that’s not true.

Kitty:
Well you haven’t shown me anything to prove you love me. Ever since she’s returned you’ve just been spending time with her and not…

Bobby grab’s kitty and kisses her. We cut to Rogue, looking on in a sad, yet horrified state. She starts to cry, gets up and walk’s off. Bobby and Kitty finish kissing and gradually separate. Kitty looks down and cracks a smile. Bobby strokes her chin and leans to her face

Bobby:
Im just doing it for Rogues benefit.

Kitty attempts to say something but just walks off. Bobby turns around and sees Rogue gone. He runs back into the room and looks around. He closes his eyes and puts his hands up to his face.
 
I like it, and I like where you're going with the Kitty/Bobby/Rogue relationship.

One suggestion, instead of Scott screaming "I'M BLINDED!", why don't you have him say "I CAN'T SEE!"? It would be more believeable.
 
Just changed it

But anyway glad you like it. Writing part 3 now
 
MaleRogue said:
I Like it bring on part three

Glad people like it.

Im just trying to work out the characterisation in the story and what the character's do and what is there purpose in the story. Its difficult because it has the upmost potential to be cheesy. Im also trying to figure out how to introduce the 7-8 new chracter's i have lined up.
 
It's really good, I can't wait for more.
 
I love you did go on with the love triangel...
BGut I secretly hope Bobby and Rogue stay together LOL
 
I should be finished part 3 in about 1 hour. Just working out how to fit pieces together and make it flow
 
keep up the good work, I am interested how this is gona turn out.
 
Part 3:

Ext. Mansion

The camera pan’s down across the school. As it pan’s down, 2 headstones come into frame. The tombstones read: Scott Summer’s and Jean Grey. A shadow is cast over Jean Grey’s headstone, we cut to Logan looking down. His face is filled with sorrow and grief. He lay’s a flower on Jean Grey’s headstone. He is about to say something but the grief overcomes him and he start’s crying. A voice from behind him surprises him

Voice:
Well, I never thought I’d see the day when an animal show’s emotion

Wolverine draw’s his claws in anger. we see his face, clearly pissed. He turns around to attack but is frozen in shock when he sees who said those painful words. We don’t see anyone, we are focused on Wolverine. Wolverine retracts his claws slowly, Wolverine is scared to death.

Voice:
Good Boy

The screen goes black, 2 eyelid shapes open on the screen. We see a forest in those eyes, coated with a red hue. At this moment we hear a massive concussive blast rip through. We cut to a forest normally to see tons of trees get uprooted by a red beam of energy. We cut to Cyclops shooting a red beam from his eyes. He closes his eye’s and the beam of energy is gone.
Scott:
Good news, No one was there. Bad news….No one was there

He continues to walk forward but he hears voices behind him

Man:
Come on Jane, that light was this way

Scott turns to the estimated direction of the voices. He lets out a powerful scream…

Scott:
HELP ME!!!!

He waits for an answer but nothing comes. He continues to stagger but he hears someone running to him.

Man:
Oh my god, are you ok?

Scott:
Yes, please…take me home…I live…

Man:
No, the only place you’re going is the hospital.

Scott:
No! I can’t. Im blind!

Man:
Must have been that strange red light we saw. Who could do something like that

Woman:
You poor thing, we’ll take you there, wont we Geoff?

Man:
Yea, sure

Scott knows better than to fire at humans, at least there trying to help.


Int. mansion

Bobby is running past students in the hallway

Bobby:
Rogue! Rogue!
He runs down the hallway. He gets to a window and see’s Rogue walking down the path to the main gates of the X-mansion, carrying her bag of personal items, tears coming from her eyes. Bobby, after seeing this, run’s down stairs, hoping to get to the main exit in time. Bobby meets Kitty on the way.

Kitty:
Hey Bobby…

Bobby run’s through Kitty in a rush

Kitty:
Why are you rushing?

Bobby stops, turns and answers

Bobby:
I’ve got to get to Rogue

Bobby turns back and runs off

Kitty (under her breath):
So much for being around for her benefit

Bobby gets outside. He yells:

Bobby:
ROGUE!!!

She’s nowhere in sight. Bobby turns slowly and walks back into the X-mansion.
 
Well its been through lots of rewrites but here it is (finally)

Part 4:

Int. Hospital

Scott is lying on a bed with doctors tending to him.

Doctor 1:
What’s the problem?

Doctor 2:
He was hit with a laser and is now blind. He also has some head injury

Doctor 1:
Concussion?

Doctor 2:
We can’t tell, he won’t let us near him
The first doctor walks over to Scott

Doctor 1:
What’s your name?

Scott (lying):
David Sunders

Doctor 1:
Ok Dave im going to take a look at your eyes for any signs of concussion

Scott:
NO!!! DON’T!!

The Doctor opens Scott’s eyes and is blown back by a powerful red beam. The beams smashed open the ceiling and brought the debris down around them.

Doctor 2:
OH MY GOD! IT’S A MUTANT!

Scott gets up, not knowing where he’s going. He listened to where the angry doctors were and runs to the opposite direction. He runs into a wall, he open’s his eyes and blasts a hold in the wall, He runs through it and the terrain is changed, he is outside, He makes a run for it with no visual whatsoever.


Int. Bus

The camera pans over passengers. As it gets to the back of the bus, a familiar face comes into view. It’s Rogue. He eyes are filled with tears. She is in deep thought but is shaken out of it when the bus violently pulls to a halt. She looks out the window and see’s a corner shop. Hungry, she steps out of the bus and walks into the shop. It only has 2 people browsing round the shop. She reaches into her pocket and feel’s around for some change. She doesn’t have any money. Slowly she moves toward the stack of fruit. She picks it up and puts it into her pocket. She walks out but is stopped by the shop keeper

Shop Keeper:
Hey! Are you going to pay for that?

The shop keeper grabs Rogue’s hand to stop her from leaving but is frozen when he touched her hand. Veins are now being exposed on his face, he is gasping for air. Rogue realises what’s happening and pull’s away. The shop keeper slumps to the ground spasming. Rogue looks in horror at the shop keeper, she realises one thing. The cure isn’t permanent. She runs out in shock. A 6 ft.1 man with red eyes follows her.

Int. Mansion

We see a distraught Kitty sitting on the sofa clearly crying, being comforted by Peter Rasputin. We cut to Storm, Beast, Angel and Bobby sitting in front of the TV watching the news.

News Announcer:
The body of an Ancient Egyptian ruler has been uncovered today, amazingly, still preserved. It is being escorted to the National History Museum right now.

During this announcement, a woman enters the Mansion, dressed in white. She surveys the area and spots the X-men watching TV.

Woman:
Ororo!

Storm turns around, along with the other X-men

Storm:
Emma? Why are you back here?

Emma:
I heard Scott was dead, I had to come and see for myself.

Beast walks up to Storm and Emma.

Beast:
Who’s this?

Storm:
Emma Frost, she was an old classmate of Scott and graduated and moved on. Scott stayed here to teach though.

Emma stretches out her hand for a handshake to Beast. Beast reluctantly returns it

News Announcer on TV:
And this just in, mutants attack a hospital.

All of the mutants in the mansion immediately crowds round the TV.

News announcer:
The mutant was believed to be a human and was taken in for care. The mutant then fired at the doctors with, what eye witness’s claim: Red lasers from his eyes. He then broke down a wall and escaped


All of the Mutants are in shock with the report; they all gradually come to the same conclusion. Scott Summers is alive
 
I like what you have some far, the first 3 were good, (in the first one that scott as a teenage story, was that some thing you made up or was that in the comics) I like where you were going with this 4th one, though, I didn't care for the "Hes a mutan" "Kill Him"(seem alil narror minded for a doctor) also I would think that Scott would of done more to stop the doc from opening this eyes IMO
the bus scene is good, continuing with the rogue story, (when I was first reading it, when it said that the bus comes to a violent halt, I thought maybe it was Scott running in to the middle of the road, and rogue on the bus sees him, no critism there, just what I thought when I read it) but, I like the lead in to the tall dark stranger with the red eyes, but, how long has she been on that bus, that shes so, despite, and hungry, that she would be willing to steal, I mean back at the Mansion, next scene it seem to be only a short time has pasted, kitty is still crying on the sofa,(though, for a teenage girl, that could of be days later that shes still cring lol) they all watching the news (no one went after rogue?)
(one other thought, if Emma was a student at the Mansion around the same time as Scott, wouldn’t beast a former member of the x-team know her or at least know of her, or was that before this time or something)
over all great work, keep it up
 
Spider-Fan83 said:
I like what you have some far, the first 3 were good, (in the first one that scott as a teenage story, was that some thing you made up or was that in the comics)

That was something out of the comics mixed with my own idea's

Spider-Fan83 said:
I like where you were going with this 4th one, though, I didn't care for the "Hes a mutan" "Kill Him"(seem alil narror minded for a doctor) also I would think that Scott would of done more to stop the doc from opening this eyes IMO

Yea, i didnt want to spend too long in the hospital. I kinda think i went overboard with the "kill him" line too, now that i look back on it.

Spider-Fan83 said:
the bus scene is good, continuing with the rogue story, (when I was first reading it, when it said that the bus comes to a violent halt, I thought maybe it was Scott running in to the middle of the road, and rogue on the bus sees him, no critism there, just what I thought when I read it) but, I like the lead in to the tall dark stranger with the red eyes,

Couldve been a good idea with the Scott and Rogue thing but it would have thrown the rest of Rogues and Scott's story completely out of proportion. And we all know who that guy is dont we?

Spider-Fan83 said:
i mena back at the Mansion, next scene it seem to be only a short time has pasted, kitty is still crying on the sofa, they all watching the news (no one went after rogue?)

Well where would they go? Bobby tried to run after her but lost her. She could be anywhere. The Pro isnt there so they cant use a telepath to track her

Spider-Fan83 said:
(one other thought, if Emma was a student at the Mansion around the same time as Scott, wouldn’t beast a former member of the x-team know her or at least know of her, or was that before this time or something)
over all great work, keep it up

In X-2 you can clearly see Hank on TV in a non mutant form so i consider his joining of the X-team to be recent. ( I know he had ape like powers before he was blue but we had no clue how long ago or for how long we was there so i didnt try and incorperate that.
 
ok, cool
Thanks, for clear those things up for me, and looking forward to your next part of the story
BTW: it was implied in x3 (ignoring the hank cameo in x2) that he was part of the original team, but, then left to work with the government, to help mutant rights. but, each way.
 
Please..Part V now! OMG i have loving your script...Wonderful!
 
"Good news, No one was there. Bad news….No one was there" :D

I love it so far! go on...
 
Part 5:

Ext. City’s streets

Rogue is walking down a street filled with people, still in shock of what has happened. She turns a corner and ends up in a dark alley way. She puts her back up to a wall and slides down, her knees are up to her face, She puts her head on them and starts crying. At the end of the alleyway, a tall stranger with red eyes in a long trench coat walks down and stops in front of Rogue. Rogue looks up with curiosity.

Man:
What’s the matter Cherie?

Rogue turns away, still in tears

Man:
Don’t feel bad, a fine belle femme like you shouldn’t feel bad.

Rogue turns back, her face is red. In a stuttered voice she asks

Rogue:
W…wh…who are you?

Man:
The name’s Remy LeBeau. Me mate’s call me Gambit

Rogue:
I’d like to be alone Mr LeBeau

Gambit:
For what? What you did to that shop keep was mighty fine

Rogue looks up with a horrified look on her face. She stands up and lifts up her hand to Gambit’s face

Gambit:
You wouldn’t hurt me

Rogue:
What makes you so sure?

Gambit:
You’re not the kind of couyon that goes around killing people for fun

Rogue turns around and puts her hands up to her face. She turns back.

Rogue:
I guess it doesn’t matter to you that I was cured of this curse and wouldn’t endanger people again

Gambit is getting pissed. He pushes her against the wall hard

Gambit:
Being a mutant isn’t a curse, it’s an opportunity

Rogue:
Well you seem pretty positive about it, what can you do that’s worth being a mutant?

Gambit pulls out a playing card from a pocket inside his trench coat.

Rogue:
A playing card? What you work in a casino or something

Gambit gives Rogue a nasty look. The card spontaneously starts to emit yellow aura, like fire but not as violent or bright. Gambit looks around, he see’s a bin. He flicks the card in the direction of the bin, the card fly’s forward. As it hits the bin is gets blown away in a devastating explosion. The sound is ricocheted down the alleyway.

Gambit:
You like?

Rogue clearly does but doesn’t want to give gambit his satisfaction of pleasing her.

Gambit:
Come on, I can take you to a place where you can be accepted and not feared.

Rogue:
Forget it. I already know a place where im accepted.

Gambit:
You do? Then why, pretty lady, are you not at that place right now?

Rogue looks to Gambit and starts to think about his offer

Ext. Mansion

Storm is walking down the garden. She looks up to the sky and her eyes turn white, the sky turns cloudy. Rain drops start to fall down in small numbers. Then suddenly massive droplets of water start flying down like a tropical storm. Voices from inside the mansion start to ensue:

Student 1:
Thanks Miss Monroe

Student 2:
Yea it was too hot

Storm:
Enjoy it while you can, im just watering my plants.


Int. Mansion

We cut to Kitty Pryde and Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) sitting on a couch. Kitty is just starting to stop crying. Piotr, however, still has his arm around Kitty for comfort.

Kitty:
No one understands me.

Piotr:
Don’t be so sure, I think I do

Kitty:
Oh come on Pete, how much do you understand me. I can’t even keep my own boyfriend.

Piotr:
Seems we're both the quiet types around this crazy place

Kitty:
what do you mean?

Piotr:
I noticed that you like to keep to yourself, like I do sometimes. You're either in class, being taunted by your roomates, or alone in a quiet corner

Kitty:
You... you noticed that???

Piotr:
I'm a good observer. That's why I sketch and draw

Piotr hands Kitty a sheet of A4 paper, we get the view of it and its a well drawn picture of Kitty sitting under a tree with a laptop. Kitty seems stunned by it. Piotr looks away for a moment then looks back at Kitty. Storm comes in from behind them rather unexpectadly

Storm:
Kitty, Piotr. Suit up, we have a mission.

Int. Museum

We are now in a museum filled to the brim with fantastic artefacts and historical monuments. We pan through it and 2 men come into view

Man 1:
So when is it coming

Man 2:
Soon, oh man I can’t wait to analyse it

Man 1:
Why?

Man 2:
Because this isn’t any normal mummy, that corpse has just not rotted, and no one understands why

Man 1:
Well Egyptians have been second to none when it comes to preserving their dead

The second man casts a weird look at him. He is about to say something but is interrupted by a 3rd man running down the opposite end.

Man 3:
Doctor Essex!

The 2nd man turns and looks at the 3rd man

Man 3:
It’s arrived

Essex:
Good.

With that, the second man walks of down the hallway with the 3rd man, only to have the 1st man call after him.

Man 1:
Nathaniel, are you sure it’s safe?

Nathaniel continues walking down but still replies

Nathaniel:
I’ve been studying human genetics for years. Nothing can still be alive after 5000 years. I’ll be fine.
 

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