The Ones
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Ive decided to write my version of X-men 4. Tell me what to improve on and above all if you like it or not. Be honest but please give constructive critizism:
Part 1:
Opening Logo’s
The screen is filled with darkness. Then in the centre of the screen a white light appears, as it grows brighter, a strange voice is heard, like pro X but deeper
“Tragedy. It is an element of life. One we must all learn to face. It is only natural for us to bury it into the past, kept as secrets and forgotten only to be uncovered. But some secrets were never meant to be found…”
The music kick’s in with the X-men theme tune as we are rocketed into the light, blue wisps form on the screen creating DNA strands more of these strands are created as the background is now filled with red smoke. The blue DNA begins to be filled with a transparent liquid we are sent into the blue liquid as the words:
X-MEN 4: DAWN OF RECKONING
Are embossed from the rushing liquid, the words atomise as the liquid turns black and we are rocketed out. 2 doors slam in front of the titles forming a metal circle with a blue light in the middle. The camera pan’s into the blue light as the centre of the door turns around
Int. Setting: School Gym
We are in a Gym, clearly redecorated into a disco as teenager’s all in formal wear are dancing like there’s no tomorrow. The camera pan’s down to reveal a 15 year old kid. He has jet black hair and hazel brown eyes. He is lounging against the wall on the far side, alone. He is clearly focused on something in the crowd. We get the view of this lonely child and we find out he is focussed on a girl. She has light brown hair and dark blue eyes, dressed in a white dress clearly made of a light fabric. He starts to set of into a daydream when someone call’s to him
Scott is broken out of his fantasy and turns to see his mate
Scott and Greg laugh in unison, both dismissing the previous comments as a joke
Scott becomes mesmerised by the same girl again, Greg looks in Scott’s eye view and sighs
Scott's eyeline follows Greg walking up to Olivia and immediately begins to regret it. He starts walking toward a door. He walks into it and is in the men’s bathroom.
Int. Men’s room
Scott runs the tap and cups his hand under the water, he puts his hands to his face submerging his face in water, he looks at the mirror as the water slowly drips of. The door bursts open and breaks Scott’s concentration.
Scott laughs at Greg; Greg is starting to get annoyed
Scott inhales and exhales deeply, he walks to the door and stops
Scott begins to scream in agony, his eyes are starting to become red
Scott’s eyes are beginning to glow red by now
Greg pushes Scott out the door into the disco.
Int. Disco
Scott looks to Olivia. Just then a powerful red beam escapes his eyes at a tremendous force it pushes him back a few cm. Scott hears a loud, echoing scream throughout the gym from many people. He closes his eyes and duck’s. He begins to hear a number of cry’s and yells from many people. In the midst of the panic, he picks up a number of voices:
Man 1:
Oh my god! What did that freak do to her?
Man 2:
Olivia!!!
Man 3:
No, don’t go. Please!
Scott realises he has injured Olivia. He screams in tremendous angony
Part 1:
Opening Logo’s
The screen is filled with darkness. Then in the centre of the screen a white light appears, as it grows brighter, a strange voice is heard, like pro X but deeper
“Tragedy. It is an element of life. One we must all learn to face. It is only natural for us to bury it into the past, kept as secrets and forgotten only to be uncovered. But some secrets were never meant to be found…”
The music kick’s in with the X-men theme tune as we are rocketed into the light, blue wisps form on the screen creating DNA strands more of these strands are created as the background is now filled with red smoke. The blue DNA begins to be filled with a transparent liquid we are sent into the blue liquid as the words:
X-MEN 4: DAWN OF RECKONING
Are embossed from the rushing liquid, the words atomise as the liquid turns black and we are rocketed out. 2 doors slam in front of the titles forming a metal circle with a blue light in the middle. The camera pan’s into the blue light as the centre of the door turns around
Int. Setting: School Gym
We are in a Gym, clearly redecorated into a disco as teenager’s all in formal wear are dancing like there’s no tomorrow. The camera pan’s down to reveal a 15 year old kid. He has jet black hair and hazel brown eyes. He is lounging against the wall on the far side, alone. He is clearly focused on something in the crowd. We get the view of this lonely child and we find out he is focussed on a girl. She has light brown hair and dark blue eyes, dressed in a white dress clearly made of a light fabric. He starts to set of into a daydream when someone call’s to him
Teen:
Hey Scott.
Hey Scott.
Scott is broken out of his fantasy and turns to see his mate
Scott:
Hi Greg
Greg:
What’s a charming young man like you doing all on his own
Scott:
If you want to dance just ask
Greg:
Hey, you may be handsome but I have better tastes, girls for instance
Hi Greg
Greg:
What’s a charming young man like you doing all on his own
Scott:
If you want to dance just ask
Greg:
Hey, you may be handsome but I have better tastes, girls for instance
Scott and Greg laugh in unison, both dismissing the previous comments as a joke
Scott:
Nah,
Nah,
Scott becomes mesmerised by the same girl again, Greg looks in Scott’s eye view and sighs
Greg
Look, we all know you love Olivia, just ask her for a dance. You got nothing to loose.
Scott:
If it’s that simple you ask her
Greg:
Fine, your loss mate
Look, we all know you love Olivia, just ask her for a dance. You got nothing to loose.
Scott:
If it’s that simple you ask her
Greg:
Fine, your loss mate
Scott's eyeline follows Greg walking up to Olivia and immediately begins to regret it. He starts walking toward a door. He walks into it and is in the men’s bathroom.
Int. Men’s room
Scott runs the tap and cups his hand under the water, he puts his hands to his face submerging his face in water, he looks at the mirror as the water slowly drips of. The door bursts open and breaks Scott’s concentration.
Scott:
Stop doing that!
Greg:
Sorry, I just humiliated my self
Scott (smirking):
Why? What happened?
Greg:
I asked her to dance, the nerves got to me and I ran for it
Stop doing that!
Greg:
Sorry, I just humiliated my self
Scott (smirking):
Why? What happened?
Greg:
I asked her to dance, the nerves got to me and I ran for it
Scott laughs at Greg; Greg is starting to get annoyed
Scott:
Not so easy is it?
Greg:
Well at least I tried, what have you done about it?
Scott:
Well…..um…
Greg:
Oh stop being an immature prick and move
Not so easy is it?
Greg:
Well at least I tried, what have you done about it?
Scott:
Well…..um…
Greg:
Oh stop being an immature prick and move
Scott inhales and exhales deeply, he walks to the door and stops
Greg:
What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re nervous already?
Scott:
No, my eyes hurt for some reason.
Greg:
Happens to me all the time, try going to bed earlier.
Scott:
No, it’s not like that, this really hurts.
Greg:
Oh for god sake go on.
What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re nervous already?
Scott:
No, my eyes hurt for some reason.
Greg:
Happens to me all the time, try going to bed earlier.
Scott:
No, it’s not like that, this really hurts.
Greg:
Oh for god sake go on.
Scott begins to scream in agony, his eyes are starting to become red
Greg:
Dude, how much did you smoke?
Scott:
I didn’t smoke anything
Dude, how much did you smoke?
Scott:
I didn’t smoke anything
Scott’s eyes are beginning to glow red by now
Scott:
ARGHH! I CANT SEE!!!
ARGHH! I CANT SEE!!!
Greg pushes Scott out the door into the disco.
Int. Disco
Scott looks to Olivia. Just then a powerful red beam escapes his eyes at a tremendous force it pushes him back a few cm. Scott hears a loud, echoing scream throughout the gym from many people. He closes his eyes and duck’s. He begins to hear a number of cry’s and yells from many people. In the midst of the panic, he picks up a number of voices:
Man 1:
Oh my god! What did that freak do to her?
Man 2:
Olivia!!!
Man 3:
No, don’t go. Please!
Scott realises he has injured Olivia. He screams in tremendous angony