X-men apocalypse rewrite

Discussion in 'X-Men: Apocalypse' started by GothamBat, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. GothamBat Protector of Gotham

    Jan 1, 2017
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    I was thinking about how disappointed I was walking out of the film and how I was all the more let down considering how amazing first class and DOFP were. Would any of you be interested in coming up with a rewrite of the film? be it a bare bones one with just basic plot points or as detailed as you want? It can be slightly tweaking things or a complete overhaul, making it not even take place in the 90s or be about Apocalypse but instead just making it a sequel to DOFP.
  2. iacobusleo Registered

    Oct 16, 2015
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    Like the comics, Apocalypse is not effective as a down and dirty villain. He is simply too one-dimensional, so too much screentime on him threatens to drain him of his gravitas. He is more effective as a rising force of nature who forces a change of allegiance in typically antagonistic characters like Magneto and Mystique.

    This rewrite tries to solve the problem of why exactly does Apocalypse need his Horsemen if he is so powerful. My answer to that is that his mind AND body were separated and sealed away, so resurrecting him is a multi-stage process that involves his releasing his mind onto the Astral Plane and then his body from the temple in Cairo.

    By limiting Apocalypse to Astral Plane sequences and the final battle, it provides balanced Horsemen usage by giving Storm, Psylocke and Angel bigger roles.

    The rewrite also provides a new dimension to the Xavier vs Magneto dynamic, by making Magneto the leader of the X-Men alongside Mystique and Beast, a callback to Age of Apocalypse.

    The movie is also rewritten to emphasise the theme of family, specifically of parent and child relationships (Xavier and Jean, Magneto and Nina/Anya, Magneto and Quicksilver, Mystique and Nightcrawler, even Havok and Cyclops). Emphasizes the passing of the torch from the First Class to the new cast.

    Finally, the rewrite ties the 1980s setting, the explosion of MTV and the media, to the themes of the movie. Apocalypse realises that he needs to enter the hearts and minds of people to regain his status as a god (much like how MTV has influenced the youths of that generation) The exposure of mutants on camera in DoFP was what kickstarted the new era of human-mutant relations seen in this movie and which arguably became a burden on Magneto's and Mystique's sense of identity (Magneto goes into hiding and Mystique has to hide her true blue form), and the media is crucial in the X-Men's birth as a public superhero team.

    ACT I

    - Ancient Egypt scene, where Apocalypse's followers betrayed him by separating his mind from his body and sealing both away.

    - Apocalypse's power is clearly defined: Total control over the molecules of his body, allowing him to change his size even in the real world, enhance his physical abilities such as strength and speed, regenerate, immortality, change his limbs into weapons and alter his physical form to adapt to any harsh situation. He uses alien technology in his tomb to enhance his Horsemen's powers. As a spirit, he communicates with telepaths, but is only able to possess Xavier due to Cerebro. There is no teleportation, no telekinesis, no energy force fields, nor is he able to enhance other mutants just through his own power.

    - He has a clear goal as well: He desires Xavier's advanced telepathy so that he can enter the hearts and minds of everybody on the world (parallel to gods and religion).

    - The limitation in his power is crucial to more fully develop Apocalypse: Here is a god who was worshiped because he had power over his physical reality; but because his powers are purely physical in nature, people have forgotten him. He needs control over the hearts and minds of people to regain his status as a god in the modern age, as that's how celebrities and the media have managed to exert such power over the general public in the 1980s.

    - Reestablish the FC quartet.

    - Establish Scott, Jean and Nightcrawler.

    - Mystique rescues Nightcrawler from the Berlin cage fights, but she assumes human form for most of the movie both because she does not want to be the face of a world she does not believe in, AND to hide her true identity as Nightcrawler's mother. She is also in a presumed relationship with Destiny, and both are the leaders of an underground mutant railroad.

    - Establish Psylocke and Angel as lovers, and why they want to raise Apocalypse. Maybe they were raised in Clan Akkaba, which has taken root in some of the wealthiest families around the world? (what the Hellfire Club should have been basically instead of what it was in FC). Humanise them using their romance and offer the possibility of redemption.

    - Establish Storm. Emphasize Storm's relationship with the children she is living with (she's stealing to primarily feed them, not just herself), and the state of poverty she is in.

    - Erik's family and subsequent tragedy. His daughter's mutant powers activated prematurely, drawing the attention of the townsfolk, who began to recognise Erik as the famous terrorist Magneto. Their attempts to confront him spiral out of control, resulting in his daughter's death in a house fire. A furious Erik kills all the townsfolk present, terrifying his wife who flees the scene.

    - Psylocke and Angel recruit Storm and Erik, and the 4 complete Horsemen perform a ritual together with Clan Akkaba to reawaken Apocalypse's spirit on the Astral Plane. Apocalypse' spirit will always be in contact with Psylocke due to her telepathy. Now they need to unearth his physical body from the temple in Cairo for him to truly come into this world.

    - The reawakening causes a worldwide psychic backlash and earthquake which ripples through all the disparate story threads, bringing them all altogether.

    ACT II

    - The psychic backlash causes Destiny to receive a premonition, and she tells Mystique that Erik has joined the Horsemen. Mystique uses Nightcrawler's help to travel to wherever the Horsemen are. She also requests Charles' help to reach out to Erik.

    - Charles, Mystique and Erik confront each other (Mystique physically, Charles psychically). Charles' psychic presence however alerts Apocalypse's spirit, who sees Charles as his perfect final vessel. Cue Cerebro and nuclear missile scene (in this version, Apocalypse actually wants to destroy the world using nuclear weapons). Erik realises how crazy he is, turns on him and uses his powers to send the missiles into space (this should be an intense scene, the most draining use of his powers yet). The damage is done however. Now with their sights set on Xavier, the remaining Horsemen travel to the Mansion (no teleportation here).

    - Psylocke, Angel and Storm attack the Mansion, fight with Havok and Beast, and kidnap Xavier. Angel is severely injured and his wings get destroyed by Havok's blast, so Psylocke kills Havok in retaliation. Jean, in a period of intense stress and unable to control her power, loses control of her emerging Phoenix powers and causes the Mansion explosion. Cue Quicksilver sequence (but the sequence would be less 'this is so cool fun happy times, and more 'literally racing against time to save everyone').

    - Erik, Mystique and Nightcrawler arrive too late to the ruined Mansion. The adults realise that they need the X-Men, but the students are not combat trained. Jean however steps up to the plate because she wants to save her father figure, Scott to avenge Havok, Nightcrawler because he is a swashbuckling type who likes adventure and Quicksilver because he wants to learn more about his father.

    - Training montage parallel to First Class, only this time Hank clashes with the more militaristic ruthless methods of Magneto and Mystique. You can have all sorts of parallels here, especially for Magneto if he imparts the 'between rage and serenity' thing to Jean, who struggles with her power and the fact that everyone is afraid of her. The kids learn to work together as a team.

    - The FC cast plus Quicksilver also sort out their issues and baggage with each other (i.e. the romantic triangle between Magneto, Mystique and Beast; Magneto not trusted by neither Hank nor Mystique, considering he has a tendency to betray them; Magneto and Quicksilver's relationship; Mystique and Nightcrawler's relationship).

    - Hank comes up with colorful costumes, because he believes the team needs to be seen as superheroes if human-mutant relations ever survive this (maybe there is a small subplot here about how people perceive mutants in the post Mystique in DoFP climate, that the media has hyped up Mystique to be some kind of colorful superhero that Hank feels that the X-Men should live up to that perception). The team suits up in these costumes for the final battle.


    - Psylocke, Angel and Storm, with Xavier captive, attack Cairo to unearth Apocalypse's pyramid. Xavier talks with Storm, planting seeds of doubt within her. He also sends a telepathic call for help to Jean.

    - Apocalypse's tomb exists between time and space. This is important for the future.

    - The Horsemen manage to free Apocalypse's physical body. This scene replicates an iconic wallpaper in which a giant Apocalypse emerges from the sands with the Horsemen looking on.

    - Apocalypse rewards Angel by granting him metallic wings and making him Archangel, as well as enhancing Psylocke and Storm's powers. Unfortunately, since Angel was dying, the transformation robbed him of his human personality, turning him into the monstrous Archangel. This concerns Psylocke, who realizes that for all intents and purposes that her lover is dead.

    - Apocalypse has Storm be the one to unleash natural disasters across the globe, so that it can be cleansed and ready for him to rule by the time the transference is complete.

    - The fight occurs between the X-Men and the Horsemen, while the transference ritual begins. Nightcrawler stops it.

    - Mystique learns from Magneto that Storm idolizes her, and has to get over her reluctance with being a hero people look up to by talking her down. She reveals her blue form for the first time in years, an experience both liberating for her, and shocking for Nightcrawler once he finally realizes that Mystique is his mother. When Mystique gets strangled by Apocalypse, and when Storm sees how much the children she was living with are being threatened, Storm turns on Apocalypse.

    - The X-Men and Storm join forces to physically fight a giant Apocalypse, Xavier and Jean fight him psychically. This should be a trippy sequence taking full advantage of the visual potential of the Astral Plane. While in the Astral Plane, Jean transforms into her iconic gold and green Phoenix costume. Phoenix is unleashed, destroying Apocalypse's physical body, but whether his psyche still survives in the Astral Plane is left open.

    - Psylocke abandons the battle to try and reignite any spark of humanity left in Archangel. A brutal battle occurs between the two lovers in Apocalypse's pyramid, and at the last minute just before Psylocke lands the killing blow, a spark of humanity flashes before Archangel's eyes. The two have a brief joyful reunion, before Apocalypse's defeat causes the pyramid to disappear in a flash of light, taking Psylocke and Archangel with it. This is intercut with Xavier's speech to Apocalypse: 'You will never win, because you are alone' (cut to Psylocke and Archangel hugging as they are engulfed by the light), and I am NOT!' Cue Jean appearing to aid Xavier in the Astral Plane and transforming into Phoenix.

    - Magneto stays at the Mansion and becomes a teacher, while Mystique decides to return to Destiny and her responsibilities as leader of the mutant railroad, but not before resolving things with Nightcrawler. Storm seeks redemption by joining the team, and Xavier allows it because he was right about Magneto and Mystique, he would be right about Storm as well (especially since she's so young).

    - The final battle was caught on camera. The X-Men are considered superheroes, but the destructive battle has kickstarted a backlash against mutants. The X-Men is thus born, no longer a covert strike team like they were in the original timeline, but a full fledged colorful and public superhero team led by Cyclops, trained by Beast and mentored by Xavier and Magneto, who protects a world that hates and fears them.

    - In the post-credit scene, Colossus and Negasonic finds an unconscious Psylocke who has been transported to the 2010s. In the distance, Archangel flies away. This sets up X-Force.

    It's a shame to lose Moira (if anything, the closure to Xavier's wiping of her memories deserves to be kept in), but she unfortunately is the first thing to go. However, she could appear in a limited capacity as exposition lady, where Charles is crestfallen to learn that she does not remember him at all. Moira then sits out most of the movie until the end, when she visits the rebuilt school with a son who is implied to be Proteus, and Charles gives her back her memories (after having learnt a similar lesson from asking Jean to let go).

    It would be nice to have a scene where the world's governments want to unleash a bomb on Cairo as a contingency plan in case the X-Men fail, and Moira gives the team enough time, but the world's missiles have been sent to space so.. Arguably the reason why a similar thing did not happen in the movie.
    #2 iacobusleo, Mar 17, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2017
  3. X-Maniac High Evolutionary

    Nov 26, 2003
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    Wow, you put a lot of thought into this. It's very good as an alternative treatment of the story.
  4. iacobusleo Registered

    Oct 16, 2015
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    Thanks! It wouldn't have solved the criticism that the story is generic (it is still at the end of the day a good guys vs bad guys story), as that would entail a total change in the movie's premise. Beyond Fall of the Mutants (which in part inspired this movie), Apocalypse was only ever effective in the Age of Apocalypse (a story too ambitious for this movie to handle), or in Uncanny X-Force (a story best suited for X-Force, obviously).

    But it is SO EASY to just tweak the story so that it is a little bit more character driven. There is a LOT of potential in this movie. Look at the character relationships! You still have the juicy political and personal triangle of Xavier, Magneto and Mystique, you have at least three parent child relationships, you have the subtle but unresolved love triangle of Magneto, Mystique and Beast, you have two villains who traditionally are portrayed as lovers on the same team (Psylocke and Angel), you have a trio of actors who have shown good chemistry with each other (Tye, Sophie and Kodi). Explore them, subvert them! The fact that they didn't do that in the actual movie is such a shame.
  5. Stan Lee Registered

    Oct 18, 2016
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    Do it with the original cast.

    That's a nice rewrite but they did give a decent reason why he needed horsemen and that was to protect him when he changes bodies.
  6. BobJM Uncle Charlie

    Nov 9, 2005
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    I've been thinking about a rewrite for Apocalypse a lot lately, and this is really well done! Great job!

    I think the early switch for Magneto is admirable and helps to solve a lot of the film's issues. That said, I wonder if it'd feel too similar to DOFP? Though his switch would be the inverse (bad to good, this time).

    I like the inclusion of Destiny, but instead of her I thought it might be more prudent for Cecilia Reyes or another teacher make an appearance at the X-mansion. Not a major role, but something to show that it's not just Hank & Charles and a sea of children lol.

    The shining element of your story treatment thought is the multi-step process of raising Apocalypse. The seedlings of a cult following for En Sabah Nur was laid in the actual in the film, but you could expand upon on it as you did and make it more about the Clan Akkaba.

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