Archer/Jagged (Homemade Comics)

[Abishai100]

What makes comic book fan-fiction writing so fun is that it reveals our almost child-like fascination with social darkness. Hope you enjoy this homemade pseudo-comic about two very unusual pseudo-superhumans! Thanks for reading,



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On the ancient battlefield of Meggido stood two very mighty superhumans, but both were considered eccentrics. Fans of comic book films about superhuman powers and villainy and crusades, these two superhumans stood against each other as rivals, despite the fact that they'd been childhood friends. One was Archer, a hooded arrow-prince, and the other was Jagged, a crooked warlock of sorts. Meggido became the site of what could potentially be an Armageddon in the Earthly terrain.



Arrow was a fine but mystical hooded superhuman who shot fine arrows with perfect precision and accuracy. He was a sharp-shooting elegant archer. He wore a belt and uniform but mostly was just proud of his archery skills. Jagged was his diametric opposite. Jagged wore funny hats and had an oddly-shaped figure and was basically a man of jagged strength and powers, combining offbeat leaping skills with flexibility based weapon throwing skills that compensated for his severe leg crokkedness. Archer praised democracy and capitalism ambitions for American pride, while Jagged preached new forms of revolutionary anarchy. Archer was therefore a 'hero' of dogma, while Jagged was something of an 'anti-hero' of impatience.



JAGGED: I'll defeat you and run America with water-guns!
ARROW: Water-guns, Jagged?
JAGGED: Yes, since water-guns may promote violence!
ARROW: Are you going to gift these toys to bank robbers, Jagged?
JAGGED: Yes, since robbers may fill these guns with acid!
ARROW: I'll subdue you with arrows around your crown first, Jagged.
JAGGED: You lack the necessary vision for Earthly crusades.
ARROW: I'm merely a messenger of capitalism equilibria.
JAGGED: You lie, because you're just a pawn of commercial dilemmas!



As Arrow shot arrows all around Jagged's uconventional body to deal with his unconventional fighting tactics, Jagged shot small pebbles dipped in boiling hot water and then dust and sand at Arrow's eyes with his own flinging cloths. This created a real aggressive stand on the terrain of Meggido, and were it not for Arrow's sense of perfect precision, Jagged'd managed to use dust and sand to confound Arrow's super-sense of body-and-mind powers. Fortunately, Jagged surrendered because Arrow's archery proved to be just to darn imposing, and Arrow flew Jagged to a center for the criminally insane where he was treated by the gorgeous American psychiatrist Jennifer Ace.



ARROW: "If I never see the deformed Jagged again, it will be only a simple day!"

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)

 

[Abishai100]

The Pen


Here's a fun addendum about new age terrorism digits.



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In Buckingham Palace, the fabled Crown Jewels were safely stored and had become a human civilization symbol of divine wealth. However, a team of thieves, a goodly trio of three thieves, calling themselves the Pen, wanted to perform a daring media heist of the Crown Jewels for some uplifting Coronavirus-time storytelling reminiscent of the glory days of Bonnie and Clyde and Dillinger in America's history of folkloric crime-stories. Of course, this heist would be self-controlled and monitored completely legally by the British police of Scotland Yard, but it would also have to be precise and elegant, since that's what Buckingham Palace would demand of such a media circus! Would it be beautiful?



The Crown Jewels are considered one of humanity's most sacred treasures, right up there with the Maltese Falcon, the Jewel of the Nile, the US gold of Fort Knox, and the Pink Panther diamond. The Crown Jewels are reflective of the pomp and majesty of the Enlish monarchy and the prestigious Euro-ancestry of American royalty (e.g., Kennedys, Astors, etc.). The Crown Jewels therefore symbolize a pocket of civilization diaries.



Arrow was fatigued by his engagement by the disturbing Jagged, and he wanted to now perform some society-worthy feat of great daring for media optimism and folklore. That's why he was the first founding member of the trio of Crown Jewels thieves calling themselves the Pen. Arrow suited up in glasses and head-helmets and hats for this heist of the Crown Jewels from Buckingham Palace.



The second member of the Crown Jewels thief-trio team called the Pen was none other than Crunch Calhoun, a daring stunt-man and circus-show flame bike rider from America. It was rumored that Crunch Calhoun had extra-human powers such as a super-human sense of sound perception, so he was recruited by Arrow to become the second thief for this daring heist at Buckingham Palace.



The third thief member of the Pen was the fancy and seductive Italian-American Internal Affairs detective Jenna Manara, an agent who'd worked in the past with both the CIA and the FBI in coordinating inquiries regarding the recruiting of pirates and thieves in the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army). Jenna Manara was a skilled explosives expert and smuggler as well, so Arrow considered her the right female 'avatar' for the Pen.



Would the Buckingham Palace security be able to withstand the onslaught of the skilled thief-trio called the Pen? Arrow decided to procure a very special fancy glass hand-crafted quill pen to serve as a media trophy symbol of this heist of the Crown Jewels. Arrow called this pen for the Pen the right stuff for heist morale and media publications, since the lifting of the Crown Jewels as a magic-act for newspapers would remind the world that in these trying times of great danger and disease, there were stories of incredible mastery!



Standing in the way of the dastardly Pen was the villainous freelance terrorist who went by the name of Baldy. This ugly dude wanted to thwart this pre-reported media PR-stunt involving the heist of the Crown Jewels by stealing the fancy and majestic jewels himself and keeping them for himself or holding them for ransom. Baldy decided that the media heist of the Crown Jewels by the magical and mystical Pen was only a form of democracy propaganda and new age media rhetoric and so sought to subvert the entire magical operation concocted by the optimism hunting Arrow, our thief-team leader. Yes folks, Baldy was a real demon for this equation!



Arrow, Crunch, and Manara walked into Buckingham Palace claiming to be tourists from the Middle East. After Crunch and Manara stated to the tour guide manager that they wished to see the Crown Jewels privately while their friend and team-member Arrow wandered around the outside gardens and lawns, Arrow went outside and climbed up the wall of Buckingham Palace and went to the area above the roof of the room where the Crown Jewels were being securely stored. When Crunch and Manara were in the Crown Jewels room, they told the security guard they were going to take a nap on the floor for meditation, and they offered the guard a special arometherapy potion to share with them, but the potion was laced with a potent sedative, and when the guard gleefully shared in the drink, he fell unconscious. That's when Arrow broke through the roof above the room of the Crown Jewels in Buckingham Palace with a hook gun that expanded once punctured, creating a jagged crack facilitating a large enough entrance hole which could also be very easily repaired or mended. The Pen thieves made off with the Crown Jewels and released the mock media report that they purchased a red shiny Lamborghini with the money they obtained by selling the Crown Jewels!



However, the Pen claimed they sold the Crown Jewels in the media to the infamous terrorist Baldy, who'd already been preparing for such a stunt statement ahead of his own intention to hijack the media stunt. When Baldy reported in retort that he cared nothing for the heist and vowed to steal the Crown Jewels for real, Jenna Manara, the third and female member of the Pen, decided to go on a media-covered underground manhunt for Badly, stating bluntly, "This is the era of diaries, not terrorism deadlocks!"



BALDY: "After I deal with this dirty Pen, I'll detangle the delight of Manara herself, and Jagged will dance!"

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)

 

[KRYPTON INC.]