Favorite Family guy quotes

[DA Dent]

Peter: A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how much we wanted one of those.
Lois: So why don't you take the boat?
Peter: We'll take the box!

Peter: You remember that time I was supposed to get that boat? A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how much we wanted one of those.
Lois: Peter, that happened ten minutes ago.

 

[Drizzle]

Mine isn't even dialogue, but it's when Peter falls on his knee and grabs it in pain going "Tssss....Ahhhh.....ssssss.....ahhhh...sss....ahhh".

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t:

 

[Genesis 1.0]

Peter: "Why is this happening?"

*Brian slaps Peter*

Brian: "God"

*Slap*

Brian: "Is"

*Slap*

Brian: "Pissed!"

 

[Ice-man]

Peter: Ey Lois you pregnant?
Lois: Noo why.
Peter: *pushes her down the stairs*



Show host: SHOW ME POTATO SALAD!

 

[Ice-man]

Mine isn't even dialogue, but it's when Peter falls on his knee and grabs it in pain going "Tssss....Ahhhh.....ssssss.....ahhhh...sss....ahhh".



t:

Lmao the Paw Tucket brew factory is one of my fave episodes.


I love when the oompa loompas things come out, they sing for like 3 seconds and one of em kicks peter in the shin LMFAO!

 

[huskerwebhead]

Stewie, standing over the grave of Brian's Mom's grave:

Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."

 

[Captain_BluTac]

Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

 

[Captain_BluTac]

Stewie: Uh, there's a half-dead-fat-man eating a dead-fat-man...am I the only one who realized? Oh, okay...

 

[Captain_BluTac]

Stewie: Now, I'm going to do something I like to call the 'Compliment Sandwhich" Where I say something good, talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.
Brian: Whatever you gotta do...
Stewie (flips notepad): Something good... something good... You look like SNOOPY and it makes me smile... but you have smelly dog farts.

 

[Captain_BluTac]

Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you.
Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?

 

[thejon93]

My favourite quote(s) from Family Guy:
God: Jesus Christ!
Jesus: Christ: Yeah?
God: Let's go!
It's so simple, but so hilarious.

And here's my favourite Family Guy moment(s)... Peter Griffin vs. The Chicken:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RtuktB6z1A&feature=related

 

[Dorian Gray]

I don't remember the lines...but this was classic IMO

 

[Obi-Ron]

I don't remember the lines...but this was classic IMO

Nice, I was actually going to quote "As Christians we believe that Jesus didn't die, but he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging beast that dwells within him. Dunt dunt dunnnnnnt da!" but didn't have a picture to go with it.

Instead I will have to quote my old sig:

"A word of advice -- the path to knighthood is paved with strength and nobility, not LSD and sideburns!" -- Black Knight of the Quahog Renaissance Faire

 

[TheFuture]

I can't remember exactly how it goes, but Peter and his friends are talking about their most desired woman......

Quagmire: Taylor Hansen!

Cleveland: Taylor Hansen is a guy.

Quagmire: You guys are kidding right? Ha ha. Good one guys.

Cleveland: No seriously, he's a guy.

Quagmire: Oh god! Oh god! But the poster! Oh god!

 

[TheFuture]

edit

 

[Mee]

Ollie: SWIMMIN HOOOOLE!!

 

[Da Docta]

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[DawnWarrior]

Quagmire: Alriiiiiight.

That's it. I can't stop saying it when I'm out in the world, and I can't help but jab my head back and forth the way he does.

 

[X-Ray]

Stewie: "Whatever helps you sleep at night, *****"

 

[The Professor]

Stewie: Now, I'm going to do something I like to call the 'Compliment Sandwhich" Where I say something good, talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.
Brian: Whatever you gotta do...
Stewie (flips notepad): Something good... something good... You look like SNOOPY and it makes me smile... but you have smelly dog farts.

Genius

 

[Genesis 1.0]

Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.

(Lois and Peter stare in silence)

Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts.

(Peter and Lois keep staring)

Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)

Peter: Who was that guy?

~~~~~~~~~~

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!

Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.

Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!

Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!

~~~~~~~Best of All Time~~~~~~~~

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

 

[Genesis 1.0]

Peter (when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum.
(Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeltons.)

Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

~~~~~~~~

Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

 

[DA Dent]

Company Spokesman: Trust me Peter, the last thing we want is to get kids to start smoking.

Peter: Well then what about that graph on the wall that says: "The first thing we want is to get kids to start smoking."

Company Spokesman: That? Oh that's just something my son made me in art class.

Peter: Huh, well then what about that poster that says: "The graph was not made in art class. We really do want kids to start smoking.”

 

[Dorian Gray]

Smurf #1: Hey, did you have a good time last night?
Smurf #2: Smurf-tacular!
Smurf #1: Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.
Smurf #1: Shut the Smurf up!
Smurf #2: Yeah!
Smurf #1: Right in the Smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Smurf-Yeah!
Smurf #1: Oh! That is freaking Smurf!

 

[Dorian Gray]

Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, *****, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighter.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.