Help The Guard make an ass out of himself at work

[The Guard]

So I've joined my company's recreation committee. I avoided being elected President, but was then elected Treasurer, and when someone found out about my theatre background, apparently am also now the "mascot". The idea is that every Holiday, I will dress up as the relevant "sprite" and make people's work lives slightly less gloomy through physical comedy. The Easter Bunny on Easter, a leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day, etc.

So with Valentine's Day upcoming...I'm apparently going to be Cupid. I have a week to come up with a Cupid costume.

I see some stuff online, but it's all kind of cliche. I thought it'd be fun to get some ideas from here as well. Which pictures, concepts, etc, do you all think would make the best Cupid costume? I'm 6'4, about 215 pounds, and very hairy, so we're going for "comedy" here. I'm allowed to push it to about "toga" level. I figure some sort of "dress", wings, a bow and arrow that shoots flowers, foot wing sandals, and a headdress are musts.

It has also been suggested that I wear a red sequined leotard.

 

[C. Lee]

I say go as the "slob cupid".....have the wings and little bow and arrow, but then wear a toga over old ratty PJs, grow a couple days worth of beard (or draw it on), carry a half smoked cigar and beer can.

 

[Mister J]

I like that. I'm thinking Bluto from Animal House portraying Cupid. Throw in a NY accent, some light profanities and a feigned inebriation.

If I got pulled into this at my job, I'd give serious consideration to dressing as the Joker for April Fool's Day and killing everyone responsible for this outrage. Well, maybe not killing them (I could see how the authorities would take issue with that), but a certain level of anarchy introduction and chaos would be on order. Maybe some 'gags' at the coffee maker and/or copy machine (toner is a ***** to get out of clothing). I should probably stop thinking about this. I'm getting too many ideas.

 

[Ugfugly]

Cupid's the easiest one to dress up as. I'd love to be able to do that at work, I can finally come in my tighty whities and clip on some fairy wings and spray glitter all over my bronzed Adonisesque body.

 

[chaseter]

It's Valentine's...go as the lonely forum poster

 

[bunk]

Get a body suit and a bow and arrow set. The "real" Cupid would probably be butt ass naked.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

Get a full body wax, except for a little heart shape over your left breast.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

Get a body suit and a bow and arrow set. The "real" Cupid would probably be butt ass naked.

Bring in a REAL bow with some sharply-tipped arrows, and fire some into the other workers' cubicles.

 

[Motown Marvel]

i think this costume should start with a bottle of 5 o'clock vodka, then just let nature take its course.

 

[The Guard]

What about the slob cupid with a red sequined leotard, wings, etc?

 

[C. Lee]

What about the slob cupid with a red sequined leotard, wings, etc?

As long as you wear some kind of fuzzy slippers.

 

[Moridin]

I like the grumpy, semi-drunk, half-assed slob Cubid.

That or a 6'4, 215lb reproductive organ...... though that might be pushing it.

 

[The Guard]

So...yeah. I embarassed myself in front of so many professions it's not funny.

Next up...St. Patrick's Day.

 

[bunk]

So...yeah. I embarassed myself in front of so many professions it's not funny.

Next up...St. Patrick's Day.

 

[Prison Mike]

for St. Patricks Day, go as a racist leprechaun

 

[Mee]

A racist leprechaun stripper who plays the cowbell.

 

[Drakon]

So...yeah. I embarassed myself in front of so many professions it's not funny.

Next up...St. Patrick's Day.

Just go drunk. Two birds with one stone.

 

[The Guard]

I found this "light up" St. Patrick's Day cowboy hat. I'm going to incorporate that.