Victarion
Iron Captain
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- Jun 10, 2006
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This was backstory I wrote for a What If? on another forum. Figured I'd post it to get some critiques.
Basadoni came from a household with a mother that encouraged his creativity and a father that had a more pragmatic view of the world. He felt Basadoni's artistic pursuits would get him no where. Then Basadoni's father lost his job. Fear floods Basadoni's father; the future flashes before his eyes: eviction from their home, scrounging for a decent place to sleep in the trash-strewn alleyways in the dead of winter, and finally watching his wife and young Basadoni wasting away before his eyes. They die of pneumonia or malnutrition.
Basadoni's father returns home, but doesn't break the news to his wife and young Basadoni. That night he dreams of Basadoni staring at him through hollow eyes with a busted lip and bruised face. The boy's mother appears beside him. As he opens his mouth to speak, the flesh sloughs off their bones, which also crumble, leaving puddles of muscle, innards and bone before Basadoni's father.
I didn't give her anything, Basadoni's father thinks, except--No! Basadoni's father shakes his head. She likes Basadoni's creativity. His stories and pictures made her smile. A bitter grin creeps across Basadoni's father's face. Perhaps I'm not the ****-up of a husband I thought I was. Yet...what have I given Basadoni? He thinks back to the dotted eyes and bruised cheeks. Pain, because of his talent? Hell, maybe I've beaten the creativity out of him and left him a broken husk...from there, Basadoni's father's wakes.
He looks over at his wife. Regret at the ruination he has brought upon her drives him to quietly toss aside the covers and unlock the drawer of his bedside table. He draws out a handgun and keeps the woman he failed from suffering because of his ****-up.
Should have used the silencer, Basadoni's father thinks to himself. He creeps out of the bedroom and eases down the hall to Basadoni's room. Suddenly he hears a loud bang and spins. Young Basadoni sprints from his parents' bedroom, down the hall and out the front door. Basadoni's father takes off after him, huffing and puffing. He reaches their front door and sees that Basadoni's foot prints in the snow led to the apartment across the street.
Its over. A delirious smile. Basadoni's father closes the door and lumbers back to his bedroom. Within he goes to the closet where Basadoni was hiding and sees that he had made a cute drawing of his father. Basadoni's father, in the illustration, is standing atop a fantastic-looking castle of sorts made of gray skyscrapers. Men and women in business suits stand on the ground, cheering their Industrial King.
Basadoni's father feels a lump in his throat and crumples up the drawing. He still loved me...even after...Basadoni's father glances at the bed and the bloodstain on the wall. I can't face him, Basadoni's father thinks. As he looks down the dark hollow of the gun, he feels a moment of delight at not seeing Basadoni nor his mother. Just the dark. Then he goes toward the bright light.
Basadoni vows, after his parents' funeral, to quit ****ing around and do something useful with his life. His drive carries him to a prosperous career and a marriage to Sharlotta. Unfortunately one of Sharlotta's children is born autistic, but is incredibly creative. Sharlotta points out that one of the minds behind the Pokemon franchise is autistic.
"That's some kiddie **** fad," Basadoni mutters. Then he smiles at Sharlotta. "Regardless, Don is our little boy and I love him." To Basadoni's concern, his declaration seems to trouble Sharlotta. Still smiling, he says, "I'll go speak to him."
Sharlotta is preparing dinner when she hears Don shrieking. She rushes upstairs and throws open the bedroom door. Blood soaks their comforter and the carpet around their bed. Basadoni is standing there with a whip that Sharlotta had bought for Basadoni and herself, while Don lays panting on the bed, his back entirely red from the frenzied lashes.
"Get away from him!" she cries, grabbing a vase and hurling it at Basadoni. It hits him on the temple and he stumbles back. Sharlotta grabs Don as delicately as possible and pulls him back. Then she takes up a reading lamp from the nearby desk and pummels Basadoni to the floor. She flings it at his fallen form and runs out of the room. She grabs her other son, Perry, and runs to her neighbors.
Basadoni is put away on charges of domestic abuse and child abuse. Sharlotta spends some time in a halfway house before relocating to the quiet and out of the way Ruckersville.
THE END.
Basadoni came from a household with a mother that encouraged his creativity and a father that had a more pragmatic view of the world. He felt Basadoni's artistic pursuits would get him no where. Then Basadoni's father lost his job. Fear floods Basadoni's father; the future flashes before his eyes: eviction from their home, scrounging for a decent place to sleep in the trash-strewn alleyways in the dead of winter, and finally watching his wife and young Basadoni wasting away before his eyes. They die of pneumonia or malnutrition.
Basadoni's father returns home, but doesn't break the news to his wife and young Basadoni. That night he dreams of Basadoni staring at him through hollow eyes with a busted lip and bruised face. The boy's mother appears beside him. As he opens his mouth to speak, the flesh sloughs off their bones, which also crumble, leaving puddles of muscle, innards and bone before Basadoni's father.
I didn't give her anything, Basadoni's father thinks, except--No! Basadoni's father shakes his head. She likes Basadoni's creativity. His stories and pictures made her smile. A bitter grin creeps across Basadoni's father's face. Perhaps I'm not the ****-up of a husband I thought I was. Yet...what have I given Basadoni? He thinks back to the dotted eyes and bruised cheeks. Pain, because of his talent? Hell, maybe I've beaten the creativity out of him and left him a broken husk...from there, Basadoni's father's wakes.
He looks over at his wife. Regret at the ruination he has brought upon her drives him to quietly toss aside the covers and unlock the drawer of his bedside table. He draws out a handgun and keeps the woman he failed from suffering because of his ****-up.
Should have used the silencer, Basadoni's father thinks to himself. He creeps out of the bedroom and eases down the hall to Basadoni's room. Suddenly he hears a loud bang and spins. Young Basadoni sprints from his parents' bedroom, down the hall and out the front door. Basadoni's father takes off after him, huffing and puffing. He reaches their front door and sees that Basadoni's foot prints in the snow led to the apartment across the street.
Its over. A delirious smile. Basadoni's father closes the door and lumbers back to his bedroom. Within he goes to the closet where Basadoni was hiding and sees that he had made a cute drawing of his father. Basadoni's father, in the illustration, is standing atop a fantastic-looking castle of sorts made of gray skyscrapers. Men and women in business suits stand on the ground, cheering their Industrial King.
Basadoni's father feels a lump in his throat and crumples up the drawing. He still loved me...even after...Basadoni's father glances at the bed and the bloodstain on the wall. I can't face him, Basadoni's father thinks. As he looks down the dark hollow of the gun, he feels a moment of delight at not seeing Basadoni nor his mother. Just the dark. Then he goes toward the bright light.
Basadoni vows, after his parents' funeral, to quit ****ing around and do something useful with his life. His drive carries him to a prosperous career and a marriage to Sharlotta. Unfortunately one of Sharlotta's children is born autistic, but is incredibly creative. Sharlotta points out that one of the minds behind the Pokemon franchise is autistic.
"That's some kiddie **** fad," Basadoni mutters. Then he smiles at Sharlotta. "Regardless, Don is our little boy and I love him." To Basadoni's concern, his declaration seems to trouble Sharlotta. Still smiling, he says, "I'll go speak to him."
Sharlotta is preparing dinner when she hears Don shrieking. She rushes upstairs and throws open the bedroom door. Blood soaks their comforter and the carpet around their bed. Basadoni is standing there with a whip that Sharlotta had bought for Basadoni and herself, while Don lays panting on the bed, his back entirely red from the frenzied lashes.
"Get away from him!" she cries, grabbing a vase and hurling it at Basadoni. It hits him on the temple and he stumbles back. Sharlotta grabs Don as delicately as possible and pulls him back. Then she takes up a reading lamp from the nearby desk and pummels Basadoni to the floor. She flings it at his fallen form and runs out of the room. She grabs her other son, Perry, and runs to her neighbors.
Basadoni is put away on charges of domestic abuse and child abuse. Sharlotta spends some time in a halfway house before relocating to the quiet and out of the way Ruckersville.
THE END.
