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What's in your rider?

Manic

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This post was inspired by the Backstage page on The Smoking Gun.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstage

When singers, rappers, bands, famous comedians, and politicians go on tour, they still like to stay as comfortable as possible. To ensure this, they'll typically provide a list of demands that their managers, the owners of their touring venues, and even hotels must meet. Sometimes they just want a comfy sofa and a few bottles of water waiting for them when they get backstage. Sometimes they want two dressing rooms, three separate catering tables, furniture of a certain color, potted plants, a bowl of M&M's, all the brown M&M's removed from the bowl, purple drapes hanging from every wall, exactly 37 tiles on the ceiling, and zero eye-contact.


So if you were famous and on tour, what would be your backstage demands?
 
X-Box with 10-12 current video game
Cable TV with the YES, MSG, ESPN
Sunflower Seeds (Planters/David Jumbo)
Finger foods (Buffalo Wings, Nachos, Mozzerella Stickx and Potato Skins)
Mountain Dew/Sunkist/Coke
Seagrams & 7-Up
Guinness
Magnum Ice Cream Bars
Low Self Esteem Women with Father Issues
 
X-Box with 10-12 current video game
Cable TV with the YES, MSG, ESPN
Sunflower Seeds (Planters/David Jumbo)
Finger foods (Buffalo Wings, Nachos, Mozzerella Stickx and Potato Skins)
Mountain Dew/Sunkist/Coke
Seagrams & 7-Up
Guinness
Magnum Ice Cream Bars
Low Self Esteem Women with Father Issues

Oh heck yes.. Guinness and Magnum bars are awesome.
 
- Coke Zero, Pepsi will not be tolerated
- glacial water from a quality glacier
- masseuse (this will be returned)
- Unused toilet paper
- Chicken (preferably alive)
- Sushi chef (preferably Japanese)
- Italian chef (preferably Giada De Laurentiis)
- Human fur slippers
- Monkeys, in gladiator attire (at least 2)
- Fingerless gloves
- Gloveless fingers
- Electricity
- Fire starting material
- Betamax player
- Garbage Pail Kids The Movie on Betamax
- Horizontal stripper pole
- Vertical bed (bedbugs are unacceptable unless they are housebroken)
- Katana sword, 2 sais, 1 tempered hardwood bo staff, 1 pair of nunchakus
- A really nice sandwich
 
Live People in Human Centipede formation as a coffee table.
 

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