10 Things Movie Theaters Won't Tell You

[VenomVsSpidey]

He has every right to be cranky. I'm 17 and you could call me a cranky old man as well.

When I saw Holmes a second time there were these people talking next to me. Always commenting on the film, reacting to it, I mean christ, when Adler said "They found my weak spot." And their was this long pause, and I loved how they didn't say "You." Well the *******s next to me said, "You."

It made me want to bang my head against a wall. I can't believe I didn't say anything. I'm ashamed of myself.

I had like the same thing. OMG!! Watson tripped on the unseen wire and caused an explosion!!?!?!1111

really? cause I couldn't tell when that happened on-screen...and an explosion happened.

 

[Boom]

I have my own idea for fixing the cell phone issue.

Cinemas should secede from the union, and become their own self-governed embassies. Then they can lay down the law that using a cell phone in a theater is punishable by death. They can line the walls of the cinema with the skulls of all those who broke that simple law.

Too far ?

 

[Antonello Blueberry]

I wish they'd just start wiring all theatres with cell-dampening tech. There's a couple here in Vancouver that have it, and it is glorious.

We do have them in Italy too. But if you have problems with someone talking to their cells during the movie you can do what I did once. The first time I asked the kid politely to stop talking, the second time I was less polite, the third time I grabbed his cellphone and threw it away. Some one clapped their hands.

 

[terry78]

We do have them in Italy too. But if you have problems with someone talking to their cells during the movie you can do what I did once. The first time I asked the kid politely to stop talking, the second time I was less polite, the third time I grabbed his cellphone and threw it away. Some one clapped their hands.

No retaliation on his end, huh?

 

[Antonello Blueberry]

No, he was a kid, he knew he was wrong and that most of the people around were on my side.

 

[Figs]

you know for not even being 30 you sound like a cranky old man

It's mainly because of how much I love movies. Standing in line at a grocery store or some other kind of store, I have pretty good patience. For people talking, texting or constantly moving around during a movie...no tolerance anymore. I've had this attitude about rude people in theatres since middle school if not grade school.

I will admit to the cranky bit as I get older though. If I live to an old age, believe me, I'll be like Eastwood in Gran Torino...minus the racist part though. I'll be sitting on my porch with my dog, drinking beers watching my neigborhood.

 

[Doctor Jones]

Hahaha. You see a light of a phone in the theater, the kid feels cold metal against the side of his head. It's a goddamn shotgun.

"Get out of the theater."

BUt I ffeel the same way. Next to life and my family and friends, cinema is one of my true loves. I love it deeply, and respect it even deeper. Not only is talking or texting during a film rude, it's disrespectful. Not only to the audience, but to the filmmaker and to the fillm itself. That's how serious I am.

 

[VenomVsSpidey]

Hahaha. You see a light of a phone in the theater, the kid feels cold metal against the side of his head. It's a goddamn shotgun.

"Get out of the theater."

BUt I ffeel the same way. Next to life and my family and friends, cinema is one of my true loves. I love it deeply, and respect it even deeper. Not only is talking or texting during a film rude, it's disrespectful. Not only to the audience, but to the filmmaker and to the fillm itself. That's how serious I am.

t:

I feel I must use every positive smiley for this one.

 

[Mace Dolex]

Exactly!

Our society has become so attached to technology it's kind of pathetic in my eyes. I'm almost 29 and during my younger years I was on top of all the tech and electronics that were being released...and usually got the stuff I wanted when it first came out.

Now days, I've fallen behind big time and don't even have any of the more recent cell phones released. Still have some old school version, the kind where I pay for my minutes...my gf was the one that got it for me too. I just stopped giving a **** about a lot of technology, so I don't understand how people(more like Kids)have to be texting and talking all the damn time.

Dude I know where your coming from, when I was a kid I was basically a master when it came electronics, I knew how to program the VCR to record shows while I was out and even set the time to stop it from blinking 12:00. it's always been common knowledge that children knew more about technology more than their parents.

Now that I'm in my 30's I just don't have the time or care about new advances like Tivo, DVR recorders, Ipods, why do I need to download 1,000 songs when my CD's are good enough?

 

[danoyse]

As far as cell phones, theaters should find a way to hire Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. They were in a Broadway play last year and when someone's phone wouldn't stop going off during a performance they both stopped the show and told them to answer the damn thing already.

That's what makes live theater more fun than the movies. I know Kevin Spacey once yelled "Tell them you're busy!" when a phone went off at one of his plays.

I saw Sherlock Holmes tonight and kept getting blocked by people who needed to stop wherever they were so they could text someone. Someone even blocked the door to the bathroom and no one could get past her until she finished texing.

People also need to learn that their children should only be allowed ONE trip to the concession stand. I can't stand it when they keep giving them money to go back, meaning they're in and out of the theater for the whole movie. Once! They will eat again when the movie is over, let them deal with whatever they got before the movie for the next 90 minutes.

 

[Lighthouse]

Devin Faraci from CHUD wrote a dead on article on how to improve movie theaters.

http://chud.com/articles/articles/22000/1/-FIVE-WAYS-TO-IMPROVE-THE-THEATRICAL-EXPERIENCE/Page1.html

 

[danoyse]

Devin Faraci from CHUD wrote a dead on article on how to improve movie theaters.

http://chud.com/articles/articles/22000/1/-FIVE-WAYS-TO-IMPROVE-THE-THEATRICAL-EXPERIENCE/Page1.html

I like this one:

3) Keep the babies out. Hey, I know this list isn't revolutionary. There is a lot of obvious stuff here, but for some reason the obvious has not yet penetrated into the minds of theater owners. So that brings us to this obvious item, which isn't saying keep all babies out all the time - just keep the kids out of R rated movies at night. I don't really care that you're scarring your four year old by bringing him to Friday the 13th, I care that my enjoyment of the film is being hampered by him screaming and screaming and screaming.

If you just need to get to the movies and aren't smart enough to figure out how to get a babysitter, go to a matinee. Theaters should make this mandatory; their systems should be incapable of spitting out child tickets to an R-rated film after 5pm.

Years ago, I went to some really loud Schwarzenegger movie and not only did these people in front bring a baby, they asked everyone in the theater before the movie started if they could try and keep it quiet - because the baby was asleep.

 

[Figs]

Hahaha. You see a light of a phone in the theater, the kid feels cold metal against the side of his head. It's a goddamn shotgun.

"Get out of the theater."

I wish I could get away with that. t:

BUt I feel the same way. Next to life and my family and friends, cinema is one of my true loves. I love it deeply, and respect it even deeper. Not only is talking or texting during a film rude, it's disrespectful. Not only to the audience, but to the filmmaker and to the film itself. That's how serious I am.

I'm right there with you on all of that.

Dude I know where your coming from, when I was a kid I was basically a master when it came electronics, I knew how to program the VCR to record shows while I was out and even set the time to stop it from blinking 12:00. it's always been common knowledge that children knew more about technology more than their parents.

Now that I'm in my 30's I just don't have the time or care about new advances like Tivo, DVR recorders, Ipods, why do I need to download 1,000 songs when my CD's are good enough?

Exactly. That pretty much sums me up completely from my younger years up 'til now. I think as I got older and had more responsibilities, as well as other important things to spend money on including bills I just stopped giving a damn about staying on top of the new technology coming out. I still haven't gotten a damn Ipod yet either. I just use my large ass CD book still. Plus I've been told by a number of people that downloading the songs actually takes away some of the sound quality.

Years ago, I went to some really loud Schwarzenegger movie and not only did these people in front bring a baby, they asked everyone in the theater before the movie started if they could try and keep it quiet - because the baby was asleep.

That is absolutely friggen ridiculous! Did people laugh or get pissed?

One of the worst things I've seen was when my gf and I went to see The Devil's Rejects and some parents brought in their two kids who couldn't have been older than 6-7.

 

[Heretic]

I believe that the crowd should act according to the mvie they are at.

When I go to a Horror movie, I LIKE to hear people scream and giggle afterward and the "dont go in there girl!!". But I would hate that with any other type of film.

I remember going to see House Of 1000 Corpses, and there was a commercial before the movie of some small phone or something and Shaq was like the size of Tinkerbell, and the tag-line was "small is cool", so I blurted out "Finally my penis is cool"...and this woman went ballistic on me for using foul language in front of her kid. I thought she was going to smack me...and then after the movie she comes at me screaming again...and I'm like..."IT"S HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES YOU MORON".

 

[dark_b]

Years ago, I went to some really loud Schwarzenegger movie and not only did these people in front bring a baby, they asked everyone in the theater before the movie started if they could try and keep it quiet - because the baby was asleep.

maybe i am crazy or maybe i am just naive. but i think this is made up.

i refuse to belive that there is a human that is so stupid. i dont care if person is a member on SHH and my best friend. everyone who says to be quiet this in the theater is 100% stupid. i think that stupid people should go to jail.

 

[Nivek]

The only thing with cell phones is if someone calls you and it's an emergency, they can't get through. There will always be a counterargument.

Well, it comes down to this, if people needed to be contacted at a movie theater because of some emergency in 1990, how was it done then? Oh yeah, they got their @$$ up and left the theater and found a damn pay phone stall.

This isn't a privacy or individuals rights being violated. It's this thing called mutual respect or common courtesy. As soon as those lights go down, cell phones off and in pocket, and since it's not your living room, vocal interaction to a minimum.

The baby stuff is funny. When I seen H2 over the summer, some moron couple sat up in front with baby a couple months old. They kept having to take the baby out because of the LOUD NOISES, and eventually didn't come back.

 

[danoyse]

That is absolutely friggen ridiculous! Did people laugh or get pissed?

One of the worst things I've seen was when my gf and I went to see The Devil's Rejects and some parents brought in their two kids who couldn't have been older than 6-7.

People just laughed at them, and someone told them to go home.

I saw the re-release of The Exorcist a few years back and these people brought their kids who were also about 6-7. They kept telling people that it didn't scare them, so it was OK. Me? I don't care if it doesn't scare them, that's just not the kind of movie I would take a 6-year-old to!

maybe i am crazy or maybe i am just naive. but i think this is made up.

i refuse to belive that there is a human that is so stupid. i dont care if person is a member on SHH and my best friend. everyone who says to be quiet this in the theater is 100% stupid. i think that stupid people should go to jail.

No, it really happened. It was about 20 minutes before the movie started, the theater was just filling up, and I saw the baby in the little car seat carrier a few rows in front of us. One of them stood up and said "Can everyone keep it down, the baby is sleeping!"


I saw the first Spiderman movie in Times Square on opening night - it was this old NY theater that only had 1 screen and about 1000 seats (it has since closed down ), and it was completely sold out. The audience was just nuts for the entire movie, but the bad part was that someone brought a toddler-aged baby who cried for most of the movie. It was really annoying.

The funny part about that is on Monday, Howard Stern was talking about seeing Spiderman in Times Square on Friday, but how this idiot brought a baby who screamed through the whole movie. Apparently Howard went to the same show as us.

 

[Doctor Jones]

Wait, so they actually play movies on the big ass screen outside? Or am I missing something? Is their a big ass theater inside a building that is located in Times Square?

 

[Sawyer]

Amen to keeping the babies out. Thats even more annoying to me than the cell phones.

 

[danoyse]

Wait, so they actually play movies on the big ass screen outside? Or am I missing something? Is their a big ass theater inside a building that is located in Times Square?

They have a lot of big ass screens in Times Square, but they don't play movies on them. There used to be a movie theater on 44th St, and it was one of the old 'theater palaces' that only had one screen and about 1000 seats. They had premieres there sometimes, and it was an awesome place to see a movie like Spiderman on opening night because the crowd was off the wall.

It closed down a few years ago and it's now the Nokia Theater. They do concerts and stuff there now. There's one theater palace left in NYC, which is the Zeigfeld. They still open and close the curtain before and after the movie. I saw the first 3 Indiana Jones movies there in one day a few years back.

There are two multiplexes in the Times Square area now, one is new, and the other is a converted theater that's been there forever - Abbott and Costello performed their "Who's on First" routine for the first time there.

 

[Mace Dolex]

I don't care if it doesn't scare them, that's just not the kind of movie I would take a 6-year-old to!

I think what parents need to do first is have their children view R-rated movies at home that way they get desensitized to the violence and foul language.

My parents took me to see The Howling and Scarface and I was around 6-7 years old.

 

[Thundarr]

I used to work at a movie theatre in downtown Vancouver. There's one thing I'd like to correct on that original list. Movie theatres make next to no money off of ticket sales. So much of the box office goes to the film makers that what's left is only about enough to cover the rent and utilities on the building every month. All actual profits come from the concession stands. Which is part of the reason for their outrageous prices. The other part is corperate greed. When I first moved to Vancouver I trained as a chef, so I know about food costing. Using retail prices, the food cost of a single hotdog with mustard, ketchep, and relish is only $0.35. And movie theatres buy all that stuff wholesale. And how much do they charge for a hotdog? When I was working there, $5.00 each. They could sell them for $2.00 each and make a decent profit, but they don't want to. And don't even get me started on the food cost of the popcorn and sodas! Literally pennies a serving!

 

[redhawk23]

when i went to the see the hangover some idiot woman brought her 3 young children. the youngest of which started yelling out repeating lines. which given the content of the hangover was quite hysterical in and of it self. finally sombody yelled " cant you shut your kid up?"

to withc the woman replied "Hes three"

to which someone else shouted out "then why the hell is he at an r rated movie?"

 

[Blitzkrieg Bop]

I remember going to see House Of 1000 Corpses, and there was a commercial before the movie of some small phone or something and Shaq was like the size of Tinkerbell, and the tag-line was "small is cool", so I blurted out "Finally my penis is cool"...and this woman went ballistic on me for using foul language in front of her kid. I thought she was going to smack me...and then after the movie she comes at me screaming again...and I'm like..."IT"S HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES YOU MORON".

 

[Sundancer]

The only thing with cell phones is if someone calls you and it's an emergency, they can't get through. There will always be a counterargument.

In that case, take the call--GO OUTSIDE (anger not directed at you, terry. and good point)


I saw Batman Begins in Japan, land of technology. NONE of that crap during the movie--everyone's quiet.

I asked my then girlfriend if people ever made a disturbance like we do. she looked a tad shocked and said no. Everyone in the theater would be on their ass.