After 115 Years Together, Tortoises Go Their Separate Ways

[Raiden]

Stayed together for over a century before the break-up

Sometimes, 115 years of togetherness is enough. Bibi and Poldi, two giant tortoises at the Austrian Zoo, are (slowly) going their separate ways after more than a century of companionship.

The straw that broke the turtle's back came when Bibi (the female) began biting Poldi's shell. Whether turtle or human, gnawing on your partner's back is a sign that the relationship has hit a bumpy phase. Staff members of the Austrian zoo tried a variety of methods to re-light the flame of love, including aphrodisiacs, games, and couple's counseling. Alas, nothing worked.

Zoo director Helga Happ told the Austrian Times, "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Poldi has been moved to another enclosure, a rather big move. Poldi and Bibi had shared space for 36 years. Before that, they lived together in Switzerland.

We don't recommend biting your partner as a way to get back on the singles scene, but you have to hand it to Bibi for making a big change after 115 years. It's like she's coming out of her shell.

Sad to see their relationship became a shell of its former self after 115 years. But I'm sure there's plenty of shells in the ocean for Poldi to find.

 

[Lighthouse]

Uh....

 

[WolfCypher]

Too...many...puns...

 

[Marvolo]

I hear tortoise soup is quite good.

 

[Erzengel]

Women be shopping.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

It was a slow break-up.

 

[actionavenue]

They ran out of things to talk about or they only stayed together for the sake of the kids, either way, the relationship became an empty..... wait for it..... shell.
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[Zanham]

That's what she does, nag at the man's back until he's dead. What did Poldi ever do to her?

Mother Earth, what a *****.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Poldi became addicted to internet turtle porn. You know how it is, an upstanding tortoise brother marries a female tortoise to prove he's loyal to his race, but secretly he wants a turtle wife instead, because of the increased status. The so-called "swamp fever" is tearing the tortoise community apart!

 

[Duke]

These turtles need to go see a marriage counselor.

 

[Micromind]

Poldi is a ninja turtles fan, Bibi is not, he could not stand that.

 

[ThePowerCosmic]

It's a shell of a world out there.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I just don't know what the shell happened!?!

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

After realizes what he'd done, the husband tried to run after her, but it was too late, she was already like three whole feet away.

 

[Duke]

After the divorce is final, the male turtle will probably get "shelled" for all he's worth.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Hopefully he doesn't lose his house in the divorce.

 

[Coca Cola Duracell Franklin.]

What a cold-blooded outcome.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Adding further insult to injury, Poldi was then kicked over by a passing plumber, and subsequently used as a blunt-force projectile weapon against several brightly-colored automobiles of unknown origin.

 

[The Guard]

Maybe it was a mid-life crisis. That gives them another hundred years or so to work it out.