Breaking the ice at parties?

Don't stress about it. Everyone else is in the same boat so they'll expect a little awkwardness. Walk up to people, ask how they're doing, make water cooler chat, be nice, professional, etc. If certain people act like jerks it'll be their problem with the boss, not yours.

Though that's ridiculous your boss is demanding you be sociable.

 

Walk around the office in a circle saying hi to everyone and then go back to your corner.

 

Drink lots of alcoholic beverages, and make sure every one else does, too.

 

Got any examples on water cooler chat?

 

I don't have anything specific, but you could try bringing up talk on recent films, things on television, topical news items.

The trouble is that as you are on here, you may have tastes that are outside "the norm", much like myself!

I hate parties and other social events for this very reason. I find small talk extremely hard to do and to be honest it is boring.

 

"So how bout dem Cowboys?"

Jk. If it were me I'd try asking someone what they are looking forward to in the next year. This will give them a chance to talk about something they enjoy instead of work which they might hate, or sports/television etc. when they may have no interest in those things.

 

"So I don't see a ring on that finger, and I got your mistletoe right here."

 

^^^
lmao!

 

Oh I'm SO going to try that on this years x-mas day party

 

Just walk around asking if people know where Harvey Dent is...

or they're is the classic - going up to someone and saying "Fat Penguin" and when people ask what you mean/why you said that you reply that it breaks the ice.

I'm quite shy around new people I haven't met before so I find small talk awkward some times... just ask them what their new years resolution will be and what they hope to get for xmas or if they like their job/do they wanna do anything else... just general cliched/easy things like that lol.

 

If you see a slightly overweight woman ask if she is pregnant

 

....or if she'd like to be.

 

and prepare to get your ass slapped to the floor...

 

and then it'll turn out that she's the boss' expectant daughter early into her pregnancy...

can you say "severance pay and happy new year"?...

 

Tell everyone you meet how many posts you have on superherohype.com

 

Just talk to people in a Latverian accent the whole night. They'll think that you're foreign and the women will want to get into your pants.

 

break the ice by fapping.

 

Take a dump in the punch bowl.

 

Walk in and stand in the corner with the people you like.

Frankly, I'd be insulted if I were asked such a thing, and as a boss I wouldn't see it as my place to inform you to be sociable.

Screw him, and enjoy the party how ever you want to.

 

Pretty simple solution: get mauled by a bear and then call in sick. Nobodies gonna make you got to a Christmas party after a bear mauling.

 

Geez man don't plan this. Just be natural. Quit trying to force interactions. Everyone can tell when you try to "plan ahead".