Captain America: The Cossack!

[Abishai100]

I couldn't retire without a proper ode to my favorite ideological comic book character Captain America (Marvel Comics).


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Steve Pasternak was born to Russian parents in Moscow and fled to the hills of Eastern Europe with them after the iconic Chechnyan Revolution. Steve grew up in Eastern Europe learning about his proud 'Cossack' heritage from his father Ivan. Steve learned of how the Russian Cossacks were proud horse-riders and saber-riders who helped the Russian people stand by political liberties while maintaining their praise of pre-USSR traditions. Steve learned his Cossack blood made him sensitive to the human dreams of democratic life and life liberties. He also learned hand-to-hand combat from Ivan (his father).

Steve decided to emigrate to America when he was 25 years-old and enrolled at West Point to study Western military history and thought. He was then recruited by the CIA to become the government's new 'experimental' serum-enhanced super-soldier. Steve grew in size (and imagination) and donned a super-soldier patriot uniform with American colors and was given the alias 'Captain America' (by President Trump). Steve (Captain America) was to infiltrate the super-terrorist group Hydra which was hiding in post-USSR Siberia and plotting to destroy and attack Ellis Island in America.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: "I believe Hydra is attempting to ransack Ellis Island to make the world ultra-paranoid about immigration loopholes and frailty! My mission is to root out Hydra in Siberia and dismantle any bridges to Ellis Island by Christmas! As a person of Russian/Cossack heritage with a developed sense of duty and patriotism towards American democracy, I feel it is necessary to use Christian values to to promote undoubted social liberties in the modern democratic world. I have distributed canvas-paintings of myself on the Internet in the social hope that reverence towards the defense of democracy will create bridges towards future youth-networks!"

Will Captain America (Steve) succeed? Will he defend Ellis Island without compromise? Will America be the 'Big Brother' of Earth-democracy? Will the modern media cast the heroic Cossack Captain America (Steve Pasternak) as the ultimate Christian messenger of new age pro-globalization anti-terrorism dioramas? Can Earth be a haven for creative ideology (and demonstrative poetry)?

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[Abishai100]

Chapter 2: The Terrorist

This is a fun addendum about a 'homegrown terrorist' who challenges Captain America to elucidate on the power and potential of American media...and danger!


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As Steve Pasternak's heroism and deeds became published, he started to see why/ how Captain America really was a national patriot. All his training and rich heritage-education regarding his Russian/Cossack background contributed to his overall sense of democratic imagination! Captain America had become a national 'avatar' of democracy-rhetoric. He'd helped the CIA make huge dents in the ominous Hydra terrorist-fortress. Captain America now envisioned great things for global democracy, and even the media was supporting him!

Then, a proverbial monkey-wrench was thrown into the hero-equation, and it came in the from of a deranged homegrown American terrorist named Richard Jem, who referred to himself (rather insidiously) as the Jackal. The Jackal sent the Washington Post two sarcastic comic book stylized villain-avatar doodle/drawings of new age 'terrorists' who literally despised Captain America! The Jackal named these doodled-villains "Barnacle Jay" and "Cat-Lady" and insisted these two Hell raising characters represented chemical warfare.

The Jackal insisted that American youngsters should heed the 'sociocultural significance' of "Barnacle Jay" and "Cat-Lady" (since the former would poison the Pacific Ocean while the latter would loot American chemistry firms/labs of corrosive acid and use the acid to burn cop-cars!). The Jackal believed that if the Post published his 'manifesto' about the social accessibility of chemical warfare cartoon/comics avatars, Americans would have to measure the 'modern demand' for anti-establishmentarian thinking. Captain America himself admitted the Jackal had become something of an overnight anti-celebrity.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: "I believe the Post has revealed how the deeds of new age terrorists (domestic/foreign) such as the sarcastic Jackal can seep into pedestrian imaginations. We have to work with focus so we can avoid the modern pitfall of allowing anti-media fanatics (e.g., the Jackal) to become society dolls. We have to preserve our American Christian values in this complex era, so the Jackal doesn't become an undeniable 'messenger' of juvenile terrorism. After all, isn't our duty to expound the media as a vehicle for democratic creativity?"

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[Abishai100]

Chapter 3: "The Soccer Damsel"


One more/last installment about our new age optimistic thinking regarding the citation of global/world sports as a 'vehicle' for pro-democratic dialogue, inspired by the films Invictus and Munich.






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"My name is Peter Parker. I've been covering the developing story of intrigue regarding the American patriot-superhero Captain America (Steve Pasternak!) for the Daily Bugle in NYC (USA). Captain America has been wrestling with the global super-terrorist group Hydra while also dealing with homegrown terrorists seeking to subvert his social appeal and value in the United States (such as the cunning Jackal). Captain America is currently dealing with a plot involving Hydra threatening an upcoming World Cup soccer tournament in Beijing (China). American media-celebrity and Emmy-winning TV-actress Julie Bowen is a big fan of the Spanish men's national soccer team and has stated she intends to fly to Beijing to cheer on the Spanish team. However, news of Hydra's terrorist threats have unnerved Bowen's fans regarding her fun travel-plans. This story I'm writing for the Bugle deals with Captain America trying to get this popular American actress to the World Cup...and return her home safely."



"Hydra is currently allied to Basque terrorists in Spain and may try to attack various Beijing World Cup games, specifically ones in which Spain is playing, much to the fear of the American celebrity Julie Bowen! We're wondering how Captain America intends to get Bowen to the Spain games of the Beijing World Cup safely and avoid any attacks placed by either Hydra or its Basque terrorist allies hiding in China! Soccer is popular in Europe, South America, and Africa but remains largely a high-school and collegiate sport in America, despite the recent successes of the US women's national soccer team at the Women's World Cup soccer tournament! The presence of American female celebrity Julie Bowen at the Beijing men's World Cup soccer tournament just might 'entice' Hydra/Basque terrorists to create some kind of media-jarring disturbance."



"We all know the gifted Spanish men's national soccer team grabbed the World Cup title in 2010. American celebrity Julie Bowen was cheering for Spain's side that year, as she watched the Spanish midfielder/captain David Villa manage the entire struggling team and help it trudge through every level-opponent, defeating every single national team by a repeating shocking minimal score of 1-0 (including the final against the Netherlands!). Yes, Villa was very cool-headed, and Bowen was rumored to be dating him at the time. Villa's ability to coordinate his team and keep everyone calm so Spain could upend all its mighty rivals (including Portugal!) by such a tight repeating score (1-0, 1-0, 1-0, etc.) was a modern miracle. We all hope Captain America can protect American celebrity Julie Bowen at the Beijing World Cup so she can safely watch Spain perhaps grab another title. That's the true hope."



"Spain has both a rich and complex history with turbulent politics, as there was an important revolution in the 20th Century there, leading to the burgeoning of various ideologically active groups such as the Anarchists and the Basque terrorists! However, Spain continues to invest in and support its men's national soccer team, so there's widespread hope that the international sporting event (the World Cup!) will encourage peace and drown out any desire for violent revolutionary acts. However, Hydra may seek to exploit Spain's fragile political 'landscape' and recruit Basque terrorists (or even rogue Anarchists) to create some anti-globalization panic in Beijing."



"In fact, Hydra sent the Washington Post as well as the Daily Bugle a notice mentioning the modern world's 'arrogant' development of complex robotics technologies and A.I. folklore, involving the design and envisioning of war-minded machinery and robotics representing a human interest in martial control! Hydra is both revolutionary and dangerous, and Captain America doesn't want to see the super-terrorist group working alongside Basque terrorists in Beijing and citing 'modern A.I. academics' to justify some attack on the Spanish soccer team at the World Cup! After all, new age terrorists always cite civilization 'aesthetics' to forward their messages about radical dangers."



"However, we all (including Captain America himself!) remember the strange sarcastic comic book doodles of stranger comic book 'avatars' created/distributed by the homegrown (American) terrorist the Jackal, don't we? We remember how the Jackal sent the Post strange doodle-drawings of unusual 'super-villains' representing modern interests in devastating chemical warfare. So, we don't want to be too reactionary in dealing with Hydra forming 'aesthetics' or 'imaginarium' oriented platforms regarding new age terrorism (e.g., chemical warfare!). In fact, Captain America himself said that we should always encourage youngsters around the world to indulge in their child-like curiosity about the 'aesthetics' of modern democracy!"



"While pro-soccer or national soccer isn't really big in America, youth-league soccer teams are quite popular across the USA! Julie Bowen's own kids have participated in such youth-leagues, and her kids enjoy cheering on the Spanish soccer team with their mom on TV! We all want Captain American to make sure that Bowen travels to Beijing safely and cheers on the Spanish national team safely and returns home safely. We all want youth-league soccer in America to continue to remind youngsters of the global aspirations of sports-derived peace...and teamwork!"



"Bowen was recently photographed alongside her Latin-American TV co-star Sofia Vergara on the set of the hit-series Modern Family. Bowen was seen wearing an offbeat hippie-style outfit, while Vergara was in a more classical blue dress. Vergara is a fan of soccer too, since Latin-Americans living in the USA enjoy cheering on the prowess of potent South American teams at the World Cup soccer tournaments, specifically Brazil and Argentina!. Vergara was impressed that her co-star Bowen was traveling to Beijing to cheer on the Spanish national soccer team, since her own kids are fans of the Argentine national soccer team. This celebrity-trip to the World Cup represents a media-investment in 'pro-globalization' diarism, which is why Hydra seeks to create some subversive act of modern dread. Captain America must protect Bowen, this clear 'soccer damsel' of democracy."



"Captain America recently received a communique from a Hydra agent named Ajay Satan. This radical Internet-blogging self-proclaimed 'terrorist-vigilante' often blogs about the evils of pornography in modern media, citing it as justification of Hydra's dissatisfaction with Western Civilization. Satan apparently sent Captain America a notice that if the patriot-superhero fails in delivering security and optimism to soccer fans in Beijing and protecting American celebrity Julie Bowen, Hydra might indeed recruit Basque terrorist allies from Spain to create some kind of media frenzy at the World Cup. Captain America has retorted in the Bugle by citing Ajay Satan (the dastardly Hydra agent) as a clear messenger of anti-democracy dread. Satan is the sort of devil who just might be able to destroy our dogma-dioramic Captain America."



"An artist here at the Bugle has offered support for this World Cup 'soccer damsel' mission of Captain America by creating an imaginative anti-Hydra comic poster which will be featured in my special article about the Beijing World Cup! This comics-poster will highlight the world's need for anti-terrorism rhetoric and democratic education. Hopefully, Captain America will prove to everyone that sports encourages peace in civilization and not death!"



"I (Peter Parker), dutiful photojournalist of the Daily Bugle in NYC (USA), am confident that Captain America will do everything in his power to bring our beloved media-celebrity 'soccer damsel' (Julie Bowen) home safely from the Beijing World Cup. Captain America will make sure that no form of Hydra-terrorism will disturb the modern world's interest in using sports to encourage pro-globalization peace...and tourism! After all, isn't the mission of the modern species to construct peaceful bridges towards pro-media diction?"

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[Abishai100]

Chapter 3: The Ninth Gate


Steve travels to Europe to explore a rift in space-time that's opened a gate to Hell and invited the presence of an evil terrorist-warlock named Red Skull (a very important challenge for Captain America requiring serious academic review!).

Thanks for reading (signing off),





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Steve Pasternak (Captain America) was commanded to travel to Europe to explore reports of a strange rift in the space-time continuum that had opened up a gateway into the underworld (Hell). This portal was somewhere in Spain, and Captain America suspected serious Darkness, especially after the imprisoned American maniac, the Jackal, provided a sardonic comics-doodle of a symbolic 'underworld villain' and claimed the Hellgate in Spain had invited this terrorist-specter into Earth. Captain America assured the people the Jackal was just trying to scare everyone but headed to Spain anyway to investigate the possible presence of a 'netherworld' parasite!



When Captain America arrived in Spain, he was housed in a government chateau managed by an elderly Spanish aristocrat and her three gorgeous daughters. One night, two of the daughters snuck into Captain America's bedroom to warn him about the very real Hellgate opened by the space-time rift in Spain. The two daughters told Steve (Captain America) that he'd need some kind of 'civilian passport' to negotiate with any possible underworld specter entering in through the opened Hellgate. Captain America took an Internet photo snapshot of beautiful young Earth women in Europe and printed it on paper to show to any possible Hellgate specter proof that he was a romantic soldier of species fertility. This would protect Captain America from the threat of hellish sterilization.



When Steve (Captain America) reached the opened Hellgate in Spain, he realized the portal had invited an underworld specter named Red Skull, a terrorist-warlock of the apocalypse. Red Skull advised Captain America to return to the USA and make preparations for a climactic World War with the super-terrorist group Hydra. Steve (Captain America) showed Red Skull his Internet printout photo of the familial beautiful European women as a sign of his devotion to species virtue, and Red Skull advised the American superhero to return to the USA anyway to find himself a Christian bride and then prepare for an intellectual Apocalypse. Steve returned to America and married the US government secretary Sharon Carter and kept an Internet printout of a comics-rendition of the two kissing in public! Captain America was now ready for Armageddon. Perhaps the hellish Red Skull could never extinguish the human flame of spiritual dreams...and drawings!



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[Abishai100]

Oops, that last section was actually CHAPTER 4 ('The Ninth Gate'), but maybe I can meld all these Captain America adventures into one seamless comic someday.

Signing off (thanks for reading!),

 

[Abishai100]

Chapter 5: ActiVision


One last segue about our fun Cossack patriot this time defending the heart-and-hearth of capitalism cadence in time for Christmas.

Thanks so much for reading (signing off),



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Captain America wanted to explore humanity's fascination with toys and objects in the modern age of networking technologies and accessories such as Facebook which represented social views on shared creative spaces. Commerce and consumerism in the 21st Century had made shopping feel like a ritualized practice, and kids around the world thrilled at the notion of the convenience of finding and buying toys on the Internet and having them shipped conveniently to their homes for Christmastime. Therefore, the threat of anti-capitalism 'hackers' (computer wizards who could scramble Internet highways and plant computer-viruses!) loomed in this new era.

Captain America was a naturalist Russian/Cossack by heritage and preferred more imaginative routes to capitalism-contemplation. He therefore wondered if all the new anti-American press being circulated in the world regarding Captain America simply being a propaganda-bully required the right kind of consumerism-naturalism 'spark' (or youthful ingenuity). Captain America reasoned that anti-capitalism terrorists such as Hydra would employ villainous hackers to scramble important Christmastime toy-shopping websites. He prepared to use his mighty shield to strengthen key consumerism hubs of operation!

Captain America went to the iconic ActiVision toy-company office-headquarters in California ahead of Christmas to make sure anti-capitalism terrorists didn't thwart Christmastime online toy sales/distribution. Sure enough, in early December, Hydra sent agents to take over the ActiVision headquarters in California and use it as a 'base-station' to broadcast pirate-Internet distribution of dangerous handguns! Their goal was to pervert convenient access to online goods. Captain America disarmed the 15 Hydra terrorists sent there with a swift circular thrust of his heavy-metal shield which threw them all to the ground from a defensive radial posture.

Captain America saw the Hydra terrorists arrested and incarcerated by the government! He then worked with ActiVision that Christmas to promote the sale of eco-conservation themed glow-in-the-dark miniature spiders symbolizing kids' curiosity about using animalia items to celebrate humanity's imagination regarding life on Earth. These glow-in-the-dark spiders reminded the consumer-world that democratic praise of capitalism could not simply be thwarted by the schemes of anti-network bullies!

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[Abishai100]

The Dreaded Bank


A good thread about Captain America patriotism should include a vignette about modern anti-capitalism depression, no?



Signing off,



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Captain America was dealing with two bank robbers, twin brothers, who were working with a new American female menace named Harlequin. The bank robbing brothers were unidentifiable but had looted 3 major federal-reserve banks in Los Angeles and were targeting a bank (or multiples!) in Boston in the summertime. These twins were working with the urban female maniac Harlequin. Each brother was masked...and smart!



The brothers/twins always worked together and dressed/costumed in identical fashion, making their resemblance in outfits rather theatrical for American newspapers. The Washington Post called the twins the new 'Sacco and Vanzetti' (since they were creating social fascination with new age anti-capitalism anarchy diarism). The twins were so identical that authorities were unsure if they were comedians...or freaks!



Well, the way these twins hooked up with the maniacal Harlequin was that they linked on Facebook and began conversing about anti-capitalism 'pranks' designed to make Post-worthy headlines! Harlequin was a cool-and-sexy punk rock loving miscreant trying to ally herself to a worthwhile rebellious 'cause' reminiscent of a Wild West hellraiser or female bandit. Harlequin was a real modern-day terrorist.



The unidentifiable twin-brothers and Harlequin planned a media grabbing summer heist of a major bank in Boston! Harlequin intended to dress up as a female vaudevillian clown carrying a baseball-bat, as the twins walked into the major Boston bank in their usual masks and carrying their usual machine-guns! After the robbery was performed, Harlequin intended to leave cartoon-stickers of herself portrayed as an anarchy-caricature all over the Boston bank floor. It was summertime, after all.



The Boston bank the masked-and-anonymous twins robbed with the freakish Harlequin that summer day was a respected institution of major urban business transactions! The Washington Post called thus ransacking of a Massachusetts financial institution the greates insult to American urban traffic securities since the Boston Tea Party itself! The twins and Harlequin walked away with $6million after scrambling the computer security system and disabling all video-recorders.



Days later, there were hundreds of comments on Facebook and Twitter-tweets, including multiple by US President Donald Trump (a former capitalism-baron!) himself about the Boston bank heist symbolism in 21st Century terrorism dialogue! Captain America decided that this kind of anti-capitalism chatter promoted serious responses by the FBI and urban police departments. Captain America decided to post images of 'Captain America statues and dolls' all over the Net, hoping the bank robbery wouldn't glorify new age antisocial theatrics!



CAPTAIN AMERICA: "It is my sincere hope that the Boston robbery committed by the anonymous masked twins and the criminal woman known as Harlequin will not encourage American youngsters to think that vandalism is a new form of creativity in this new age of media-highlighted anti-capitalism darkness!"



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