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Get me a job

kainedamo

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http://www.jobcentreonline.com/

Now, I don't have much in the way of qualifications. So something with minimum qualifications, maybe something that offers training too. This isn't a career job, just something to do for short term. It also has to be in the Belfast area.

What about this?

Job Duties : SMOOTH OPERATION OF THE CREMATORIUM. CANDIDATE MUST SHOW TACT, SYMPATHY AND RESPECT TO VISITORS AND MAINTAIN A GOOD AND DIGNIFIED WORKING RELATION WITH FUNERAL DIRECTORS, MINISTERS OF RELIGION AND MOURNERS, THUS ENSURING AN ATMOSPHERE OF REVERENCE IS MAINTAINED AT ALL TIMES
Qualifications/ Experience : EXPERIENCE DEALING WITH MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC

Other
Information : TEMPORARY TO COVER SICKNESS - REVIEWED ON A WEEK TO WEEK BASIS


It looks depressing, but also very easy. And it pays six quid an hour.
 
Take your ass back to school and go learn something............ or busk
 
I plan on doing several courses over the next few years. But right now, I really need a job. And I'm sick of the minimum wage kind of job where no one respects you.
 
^^ I hate to tell you this but dont automatically assume that you'll be respected in any job for the first 2 years of work.
 
You should probably work on being a person people should respect, before worrying about getting a job that people respect.
 
What?? Shutup. You're fooling yourselves if you think people will respect you in minimum wage jobs. Sure, the co-workers might respect you. But the managers? The customers? You're a piece of crap to them. I'm done with that.
 
Oh man... I'm looking through that website, and all the best jobs require you to have your own car and drive. I don't even have a driving licence, nevermind a car!
 
kainedamo said:
What?? Shutup. You're fooling yourselves if you think people will respect you in minimum wage jobs. Sure, the co-workers might respect you. But the managers? The customers? You're a piece of crap to them. I'm done with that.
You have a really shallow way of looking at life.
 
It's the truth. When's the last time you worked in a cinema, or a pizza hut, or behind the till in some crappy store?

Managers are egotistical *******s that take joy in busting your balls for no good reason. Everywhere I've worked, there's always at least one, AT LEAST, and they just put you down and put you down. They want you to be a monkey that will jump when they say jump. The cinema was particularly bad. Work 'till your sweating buckets, leading a team of inexperienced co-workers, deal with customer complaints when really it's the managers job to tell a screen full of 300 angry customers why their movie isn't working, and STILL you get no respect from the manager. Two years, man. Two damn years! I was considered for promotion at one point, but when I didn't get it I was treated like mr. worker ant again.
 
kainedamo said:
What?? Shutup. You're fooling yourselves if you think people will respect you in minimum wage jobs. Sure, the co-workers might respect you. But the managers? The customers? You're a piece of crap to them. I'm done with that.


Not true, I started out in minimum jobs and still repect those that do it, seen cashiers who screw up my totals and I never give them grief because I've been there and most of us has too.
 
Well, I don't mean to say that EVERY customer is bad. But customers can be pretty damn awful.

One experience that sticks out in my memory. I was behind the till in the cinema, where the food is. It's not usually my area. It was a very busy night, I was very flustered with what I was doing. So flustered, that the jerk that I was serving told me that the total I gave him for his stuff was wrong, and he talked me round, and about a minute after he left I realised the jerk payed about a fiver for over ten pounds worth of food.
 
Why the hell would you wanna work with dead people?

Unless you're a necrophile...
 
yeah that's right, the people that will bury your dead loved ones are definitely going to make love to them first because all funeral operators are necrophiles, that's a really comforting thought...

:o
 
kainedamo said:
It's the truth. When's the last time you worked in a cinema, or a pizza hut, or behind the till in some crappy store?

Managers are egotistical *******s that take joy in busting your balls for no good reason. Everywhere I've worked, there's always at least one, AT LEAST, and they just put you down and put you down. They want you to be a monkey that will jump when they say jump. The cinema was particularly bad. Work 'till your sweating buckets, leading a team of inexperienced co-workers, deal with customer complaints when really it's the managers job to tell a screen full of 300 angry customers why their movie isn't working, and STILL you get no respect from the manager. Two years, man. Two damn years! I was considered for promotion at one point, but when I didn't get it I was treated like mr. worker ant again.
Not really my dad is an excellent Manager. And Managers have to be tough on their workers to a degree or else they aren't good managers. You need respect yourself and then they'll respect you. Furthermore, you need to respect that they have an awfully hard job running said business, its never easy for them either, especially since they have to deal with sh---y workers.
 
Odin's Lapdog said:
yeah that's right, the people that will bury your dead loved ones are definitely going to make love to them first because all funeral operators are necrophiles, that's a really comforting thought...

:o
They say its very prevailent for people who get jobs in morgues...not so much forensic scientists and the doctors who perform the autopsies...the jaitors and staff....*shudder*
 
i'd like to think that when push comes to shove, necrophiles are rarer than what we imagine and that they aren't stereotyped in certain job locations.
 
Odin's Lapdog said:
i'd like to think that when push comes to shove, necrophiles are rarer than what we imagine and that they aren't stereotyped in certain job locations.
Probably like the shark attacks....though I still would find it histerical if all these places were getting nercophiliac janitors and staff.
 
hysterical?

i'm worried about your sense of humour shadow...

and coming from a warped individual, that's saying something...

:(
 
Odin's Lapdog said:
i'd like to think that when push comes to shove, necrophiles are rarer than what we imagine and that they aren't stereotyped in certain job locations.

All funeral workers are necrophiles.

Just like all priests are pedophiles and asians can't drive. :( :up:
 
I think you should be the founder of a cult. You have the concrete, autocratic dictates and judgemental "The world should be the way I want it to be and no other" thing down PERfect.
 
Wilhelm-Scream said:
I think you should be the founder of a cult. You have the concrete, autocratic dictates and judgemental "The world should be the way I want it to be and no other" thing down PERfect.

That was a parody you dumb crap.:down
 
he wasn't talking to you, you dumb crap
icon13.gif
 
You should watch this movie before deciding to work in a mortuary.

Mortuary Academy

1034158-movie-resized200.jpg
 
kainedamo said:
It's the truth. When's the last time you worked in a cinema, or a pizza hut, or behind the till in some crappy store?

Managers are egotistical *******s that take joy in busting your balls for no good reason. Everywhere I've worked, there's always at least one, AT LEAST, and they just put you down and put you down. They want you to be a monkey that will jump when they say jump. The cinema was particularly bad. Work 'till your sweating buckets, leading a team of inexperienced co-workers, deal with customer complaints when really it's the managers job to tell a screen full of 300 angry customers why their movie isn't working, and STILL you get no respect from the manager. Two years, man. Two damn years! I was considered for promotion at one point, but when I didn't get it I was treated like mr. worker ant again.
I had my share of minumum wage jobs back when I was younger, and if there's something that I've learned from them is this: it's all about dignifying yourself to the job you're doing, if you're providing a service as apparently demeaning as serving tables or cleaning toilets you have to always take them as a learning experience, and a means to value the things you'll acomplish in the long run, dignify yourself and always do your job as the most important thing in the world and not even the unruliest customer will make you feel bad about yourself
if you don't like the way your superiors treat you, make that a reference of how you don't want to behave if and when you're in a position like that, it helps in the whole becoming a better human being process thingie
but most importantly, take pride in what you do and do it with pride, if you don't enjoy your job, always try your best to get to the next step up and learn from your experiences, just take pride in what you do, if somebody tells you that what you're doing anyone else can do it, just take comfort in knowing that it is you who is doing it, so that pretty much defeats any comment they might give you
unless you're doing a half assed job
 
Lord Siva said:
That was a parody you dumb crap.:down
I was talking directly to Kainedamo without quoting anything, just adressing the topic of the thread.

If I was talking to you, or adressing specific points raised in Kainedamo's first, or subsequent posts, I would've quoted them, like this:
Lord Siva said:
Hi, I'm Lord Siva and I'm a hot-headed, irrationally hostile and spectacularly hypocritical and stupid, DESperately stupid creature.
Now you never really said th^t, but I'm just speaking hypothetically, like, in an alternate universe, where you were more self-aware, I might quote something like that.

understand. :)
 

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