Man Beats Girlfriend...With Delicious Cheeseburger

[Joker]

http://www.kare11.com/news/news_art...=OyIvpYuawITyaLSPnAvXJd1H57KSNnCo3ZyM7L0loxA=

A Vero Beach, Florida man is behind bars after hitting his girlfriend several times with a cheeseburger.

The victim told sheriff's deputies that she was eating with boyfriend Vincent Gonzales in her car when the two began arguing.

When she threw his drink out of the car window, he retaliated by hitting her in the face with a cheeseburger.

He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times.

Gonzales with charged with battery and domestic violence.

His bond has been set at $1,000.

 

[Ronny Shade]

is this a sequel to the man hits woman with sammich thread?

 

[Erzengel]

What a waste of a perfectly delicious cheeseburger. That's the real crime here.

 

[Joker]

I think she had it coming. I mean, she was littering...

 

[Drakon]

I can has cheezburger to face?

 

[Wesley Dodds]

Sounds like a really bad cut scene from Scarface. "Choo' tink choo' lafe mayyy? Choo h'aint lafin' No-One!"

 

[Majic Walrus]

Does the burger really need to have mention here? I mean I tried an experiment the other day at work by smacking a co-worker full on in the face with a BK double-stacker and it wasn't as effective as you might think. I think the article should read:

"Man Hits Girlfriend with Cheeseburger Once, then Hits Her Several More Times in the Face with His Hand Because the Damn Cheeseburger Exploded on Inital Impact with Previously Mentioned Face."

 

[Joker]

Does the burger really need to have mention here? I mean I tried an experiment the other day at work by smacking a co-worker full on in the face with a BK double-stacker and it wasn't as effective as you might think. I think the article should read:

"Man Hits Girlfriend with Cheeseburger Once, then Hits Her Several More Times in the Face with His Hand Because the Damn Cheeseburger Exploded on Inital Impact with Previously Mentioned Face."

But...He didn't hit her with his fist...

"He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times."

He hit her with the sandwhich, pulled over, and then continued to hit her...with the sandwhich. I imagine with a pistol whipping type motion.

 

[Avangarde]

The "Not-so-happy Meal" , you would think the cheese burger would be pretty mashed up after the second beating.

 

[Joker]

See, the key information left out here is where the cheeseburger is from. It had to be a local place that has some big ass cheeseburgers, because a McDonalds one could simply not stand up to this endurance test.

 

[Ronny Shade]

nowhere in this article does it state that the cheeseburger was in fact delicious.

it could have been overcooked or partially frozen

 

[Majic Walrus]

But...He didn't hit her with his fist...

"He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times."

He hit her with the sandwhich, pulled over, and then continued to hit her...with the sandwhich. I imagine with a pistol whipping type motion.

I just don't understand how these cheeseburgers hold up to such abuse.

 

[Avangarde]

A frozen burger could be dangerous.

 

[Majic Walrus]

A frozen burger could be dangerous.

Maybe he eats metal burgers.

 

[Ronny Shade]

it probably wasnt completely frozen if he was eating it.

I imagine the exchange going something like this:
Vincent: This burger sucks, it's partially frozen
Girlfriend: Mine is good.
Vincent: So...you wanna **** tonight?
Girlfriend: I guess if you insist
Vincent: What if I insist you do anal?
Girlfriend: No ****ing way.
Vincent: *****! You're as frigid as this partially frozen cheeseburger

 

[Drakon]

Royale with Cheese.

 

[Avangarde]

Royale with Cheese.

Thats a Quarter Pounder, not a Cheese Burger

 

[Ronny Shade]

Thats a Quarter Pounder, not a Cheese Burger

You're going to sit there and say that a quarter pounder with cheese is not a cheeseburger?

You sir, are a liar.

 

[DOG LIPS]

"I told that ***** to shut up."

 

[Ronny Shade]

The cheeseburgler

 

[November Rain]

Well she did ask for a whopper....

 

[Ronny Shade]

a whopping

 

[Darthphere]

I'm pretty sure this is the same sandwich *****.

 

[The Lizard]

At least we know it couldn't have been Musclesforsupes. He'd never waste a cheeseburger like that.

 

[DOG LIPS]

At least we know it couldn't have been Musclesforsupes. He'd never waste a cheeseburger like that.

You never know, he could have been lathering her up for the big lunch.