The Che Guevara Thread

[Man-Thing]

Che Guevara is the Great Salesman of Communism. He started his glamorous life by killing people who didn't buy his ideas of universal happiness and equality. Although this selling method worked well in South American and African countries, young Ernesto quickly realized that to conquer the world he had to learn other techniques.

He noticed that in the Land of Big Capital some idealistic college students, as well as pimple faced white middleclass teens had already begun to put his unwashed visage on their T-shirts and dorm room walls. Bingo! Like all communists faced with the prospect of making a few dollars, Che decided to try his hand at the mysterious entity known as "work" and "business investment".

A brilliant salesman, Che performed an ingenious maneuver by faking his own death and thus achieving the Jim Morrison type icon status. As the progressive world mourned and idolized his image, Che quietly started printing his own T-shirts in the humble basement of a Bogota Laundromat.

At first the process involved dunking his head in a bucket of ox blood and physically pressing his face on the T-shirt. After sales began to pick up he was able to apply for a small business loan and purchased a screen printing machine.

Che has marketed his brand name brilliantly over the years, selling to specific niche in the market: young people who have no clue what Che has done or what he stands for. The cash keeps flowing as most college dorms world-wide are being adorned with his face, and more and more middle class sons and daughters wear Che products in order to, among other things, wash away the guilt of their well-heeled upbringing.

"It's just cool to wear my stuff. Who cares what I'm about!" says a confident Guevara from his 36th floor office of his world headquarters on Madison Avenue in New York City. His unique product sells solely on popularity, coolness and young people looking to gain acceptance in social circles. "You can essentially turn out complete junk and people will still wear it because they want to be in," declares John Hayden of Consumer Reports magazine.

"Sales go through the roof as anti-war protests grow in popularity!"

In the near future Che-Mart intends to diversify its global image into several different product lines. There's an Apprentice-style TV show called "The Revolutionary" in the pipeline. The show will pit several left-leaning young people against each other, charging them with such tasks as fermenting revolution in small counties, organizing protests against McDonalds and attacking the police. The winner will receive.????

Today Mr. Guevara commands a huge global business empire with offices in New York, Paris, London and Tokyo. He has been featured in Forbes and Fortune magazines no less than 8 times. With houses in New York, Los Angeles and Aspen, Che has come a long way from his humble revolutionary beginnings. His company has been listed in the Fortune 500 for the last 6 years and Che-Mart has been voted one of the Ten Best Employers in the United States. Recently featured in Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, he is an avid collector of fine art and Ferraris. Che spends his spare time on the slopes of Aspen or socializing with his good friend and business associate Donald Trump. With a fleet of Leer jets he is never too far from corporate boardrooms of the world.

The future is looking bright for Che-Mart as the endless supply of liberal college professors and college students will keep his global empire afloat for the foreseeable future.

 

[Man-Thing]

Sweatshop Guaranteed!

All our products are guaranteed to have been made in the dingiest sweatshops of the world's worst hellholes, improving the living standards one child laborer at a time.

Don't you wish you had a job when you were eight?

Imagine how big your 401(K) would be now! You could retire by 35!

This photo was taken in Mumbai (Bombay) in the region called Kamathipura, the largest red-light district in Asia, home to over 100,000 prostitutes, including 5,000 eunuch-transvestites, a recognized third gender in India. This shop is the size of some larger bathrooms or closets in Upper East Side condos. Many such sweatshops employ people 12-14 hours a day, with virtually no light other than from the sun - 100% energy-efficient and environment-friendly.

 

[Man-Thing]

Hollywood Loves Che!

 

[Hades]

I think you've made your point...

You know, I don't think I've ever seen anyone wear any actuall che merchandise.

 

[Man-Thing]

Lifestyle (be like Che)

Your Five-Year Plan
At this point in your life you may find yourself deeply embedded in some great academic experience such as college. The lice-ridden pothead in the campus cafeteria pours out his great socialist ideas day after day. Only he and Michael Moore speak the truth; anything else is corporate propaganda. The following is a "how to" guide on being the great socialist you so dearly wish to be (please refer back to this after your first job, first child, first mortgage, and first home. See if you would like to distribute it equally to those who are more deserving).

To be like Che we must:

1.Disassociate ourselves from our trust-fund money and middle-class parents.

2.Attain the "I've been in the Amazon jungle for six weeks" look. Those clean clothes from Old Navy aren't going to cut it. Rush out and buy a Che T-shirt first. A bedraggled combat jacket is also essential. Heavy boots are a must.

3.You've had your last wash buddy! From now on all forms of personal hygiene are to be abandoned. Haircuts are a thing of the past.

4.Induce Mom and Pop to buy an old, beat-up Volvo (something from the mid 80s should do). Your fellow revolutionaries dare not see you in the Lexus or the Infinity.

5.If you have to leave the revolution (campus) for a trip home to Mom and Pop (capitalist pigs), try sleeping in the basement or outside with the trash. Your revolutionary look must be kept up at all costs.

6.Endear yourself to your fellow revolutionaries by making up tall stories of a hard life under capitalist oppression. Something along the lines of "my father was small turd farmer in Nebraska until the Republicans ruined everything."

7.Visit Starbucks not more than once a week. That stuff is expensive; you're supposed to behave like a common peasant.

8.Never be seen leaving or entering the bank.

9.Diss America.

10.Develop a mild dependence on recreational substances.

11.Exhibit utter disdain for large corporations, such as, McDonalds (until you seek employment from one, in about five years). If Che were alive today he would be actively fighting against such an "enemy."

12.Your Internet access is strictly for gathering information on the revolution.

13.While on spring break, practice revolutionary skills. Try to collapse the local government with your band of revolutionaries (drunken buffoons). Remember to bring MasterCard or Visa in case of bail.

 

[Tangled Web]

Ya know, making a thread titled Che Guevara is a communist ***** would have been more effective.

 

[Slipknot]

...aren't these the same exact pictures you posted in another thread because someone liked Che Guevara?

 

[kainedamo]

It's weird how incredibly trendy Che t-shirts have become.

Seriously, you can walk into a clothes store, and find a Che t-shirt that's all like... super trendified and stuff. It's just weird, 'cause he's such a big symbol of communism.

 

[kypade]

I dun really know or care one way or another about him or history or whatever...but I'd wear the tshirt. He's hot.

 

[kypade]

His little silhouette image is hot, that is.

 

[IAmHe9]

He is an ******* who, in whole or in part, had to do with the spread of communism throughout central and south america. He helped Castro achieve a regime in Cuba so totalitarian that it'd be more apt to call the Cuban people 'slaves', not 'citizens' or 'comrades'.

 

[kainedamo]

Ernesto Guevara de la Serna (June 14, 1928Birthdate[›] – October 9, 1967), commonly known as Che Guevara or el Che, was an Argentine-born physician, Marxist, politician, and leader of Cuban and internationalist guerrillas. As a young man studying medicine, Guevara traveled "rough" throughout Latin America, bringing him into direct contact with the poverty in which many people live. Through these experiences he became convinced that only revolution could remedy the region's economic inequality, leading him to study Marxism and become involved in Guatemala's social revolution under President Jacobo Arbenz Guzmán.

Some time later, Guevara became a member of Fidel Castro's paramilitary 26th of July Movement, which seized power in Cuba in 1959. After serving in various important posts in the new government and writing a number of articles and books on the theory and practice of guerrilla warfare, Guevara left Cuba in 1965 with the intention of fomenting revolutions first in the Congo-Kinshasa (later named the Democratic Republic of the Congo) and then in Bolivia, where he was captured in a CIA/ U.S. Army Special Forces-organized military operation. Guevara died at the hands of the Bolivian Army in La Higuera near Vallegrande on October 9, 1967. Participants in, and witnesses to, the events of his final hours testify that his captors executed him without trial.


Che Guevara kicks ass.

 

[kainedamo]

This is what the whole thing boils down to in simple terms.

As far as I can see, the people that think Che was a bad guy and not a revolutionary, are the same type of people that STILL think communism is a dirty word.

 

[IAmHe9]

This is what the whole thing boils down to in simple terms.

As far as I can see, the people that think Che was a bad guy and not a revolutionary, are the same type of people that STILL think communism is a dirty word.

Have you ever lived in a communist country?

 

[kainedamo]

Have you??

Have you ever lived in a communist country?

Translation: Yes, I do still think that communism is a dirty word.

 

[IAmHe9]

Have you??



Translation: Yes, I do still think that communism is a dirty word.

I don't think it's a dirty word, I think it's a ****ed up way to run a country. I have visited a communist country and have family that have lived there, and if YOU think it's right to have every one be equal (translation: poor) than that's your problem, don't pretend like the entire world thinks communism is the way to go.

 

[Tangled Web]

Communism sucks, so do most Conservatives.

 

[IAmHe9]

Communism sucks, so do most Conservatives.

Exactly. Both extremes are terrible. It's kind of odd that I'm arguing against it, because most of my friends know me as the guy that hates huge corporations like Wal-Mart, but everything should be handled in moderation. Communism is not the way.

 

[kainedamo]

I don't think it's a dirty word, I think it's a ****ed up way to run a country. I have visited a communist country and have family that have lived there, and if YOU think it's right to have every one be equal (translation: poor) than that's your problem, don't pretend like the entire world thinks communism is the way to go.

Which country? How long did they live there? Where exactly did you visit?

Communism ain't perfect, but there are some better ideas in communism than this... false democracy that we have.

 

[Man-Thing]

 

[Tangled Web]

How many US Soldiers have died as a result of Bush and Cheny's greed?

 

[Corinthian™]

Che Guevara was a hitman

And everyone else needs to die, please

 

[IAmHe9]

Which country? How long did they live there? Where exactly did you visit?

Communism ain't perfect, but there are some better ideas in communism than this... false democracy that we have.

Havana, Cuba. My grandmother migrated from Europe when she was a little girl, and stayed there until she was about 40. Same story with my grandpa, only he stayed longer. My father lived there from the moment he was born until he was 18. Let me tell you, the things I've seen, and the things I've heard, are enough to make me hate communism with enough passion to kill over. I agree that this is a false democracy, but communism is not the answer. The power should be given to the people, not to oppresors. And save the line about Castro not knowing how to run a communism correctly. His communism is perfect. And all sorts of ****ed up.

 

[Harlekin]

This is what the whole thing boils down to in simple terms.

As far as I can see, the people that think Che was a bad guy and not a revolutionary, are the same type of people that STILL think communism is a dirty word.

Because lord knows revolutionaries can't be bad guys.

 

[Matt]

No one has ever lived in a REAL communist society. The best anyone has ever accomplished are socialist societies.

Just sayin'...