The Church of Nicolas Cage

[Black Narcissus]

Our place of devotion to the one true god, Nicolas Cage. His light guides us away from the temptation of John Travolta, and saves us from our bees.

First Thessa-Cage-nians 4:14-17

“For since we believe that CAGE died and rose again, even so, through CAGE, and the MOUNTAIN DEW will be sweet and bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, and who left Las Vegas, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep, as we have placed the holy bunny back in the box. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, against the Travolta, and with the sound of the trumpet of Cage, as he is a vampire, a vampire, he is a vampire. And the dead in CAGE will rise first, and remove the Declaration of Independence from whence it came. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord, and be free of bees and full of the highest of high praise.”

Go forth and consummate the prom queen, brother. Be free of bees.

 

[Great Cthulhu]

Despite all his rage he's still just Nicolas Cage.

 

[jokesonm3]

Praise the Cage.

 

[Napoleon]

I did a PowerPoint presentation in Home Ec my junior year of high school on making waffles with Nic Cage as Everyone pics in the background.

 

[Sawyer]

Our place of devotion to the one true god, Nicolas Cage. His light guides us away from the temptation of John Travolta, and saves us from our bees.

First Thessa-Cage-nians 4:14-17

“For since we believe that CAGE died and rose again, even so, through CAGE, and the MOUNTAIN DEW will be sweet and bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, and who left Las Vegas, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep, as we have placed the holy bunny back in the box. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, against the Travolta, and with the sound of the trumpet of Cage, as he is a vampire, a vampire, he is a vampire. And the dead in CAGE will rise first, and remove the Declaration of Independence from whence it came. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord, and be free of bees and full of the highest of high praise.”

Go forth and consummate the prom queen, brother. Be free of bees.

Too long, didn't read, joining Scientology.

 

[dude stannis]

Enjoy. The Church of Cage has blackjack and hookers.

 

[Black Narcissus]

Enjoy. The Church of Cage has blackjack and hookers.

Thank you, Pope Loew.







notes: Every pope is named after a Nic Cage character.

 

[jokesonm3]

Well what's my pope name.

 

[dude stannis]

Thank you, Pope Loew.







notes: Every pope is named after a Nic Cage character.

Pope Poe is my favourite.

 

[Black Narcissus]

Well what's my pope name.

Son, you are not allowed in.

Move along, boy. If we wanted herpes, we would just join the charlie sheen group.

 

[dude stannis]

Well what's my pope name.

Where you even out of diapers during Cage's golden era?

 

[Sawyer]

Son, you are not allowed in.

Move along, boy. If we wanted herpes, we would just join the charlie sheen group.

Well..... in light of certain revelations, I think you could expect worse than herpes.

 

[jokesonm3]

Son, you are not allowed in.

Move along, boy.

Some welcoming church you are.

*readys axe*

 

[jokesonm3]

Well..... in light of certain revelations, I think you could expect worse than herpes.

Give it to me straight Doc, what've i got?

 

[tzarinna]

I met the deity at a screening of Adaptation, he was flanked by a couple of gnarly guardian angels.

 

[Reek]

I don't want any of jokesonm3's herpes... but I believe in a Cage.. not a God.

 

[Breogan]

Our place of devotion to the one true god, Nicolas Cage. ....full of the highest of high praise.”

Dudes like almost Luke Cage

Almost Elvis

Almost Italian

Almost Superman.

We should almost praise him.

 

[Fallen Angel]

 

[Guts]

 

[Greens]

The only church.

 

[StarLord]

Praise the Cage.

 

[jaganar]

praise the Cage,
father of El

and father of the fluffy bunny furbaby
(dont put the bunny down)

 

[Bruce Banner]

Have you made a trip on over to onetruegod on reddit?

 

[Napoleon]

I bend thy knee and swear fealty to the Cage.

 

[Pink Ranger]

^ I'll be in my bunk.