The Saint

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction & Films' started by TimDrake64x, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    the story that will soon be posted is the orgin and adventures of a hero i have invisioned called The Saint. I will post small sections of the story at a time so it is not too overwhelming.

    the only fact i feel i need to say before i start is the setting. it takes place in 1929 in NYC right after the stock market crash, but it is not the NYC of 1929 that we know. In 1905 an agent from the future (2087 to be exact) brought back to 1905 the technology of his time for reasons unknown. so this is a furistic 1929 complete with flying cars, teleportation, and cures for all kinds of diseases. but no matter how much technology they have they couldnt stop the stock market from crashing (mainly because the agent from the future could not tell them of events in the future). So we still have that look and feel of the 1920's and 30's just with futuristic technology.

    this story takes place at the begining of the depression in the futuristic 1929. the story centers around a young catholic priest in training named Bill Baily. I hope you will enjoy the story and it will start soon. thanx
     
  2. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am loosing my faith. I can feel it slipping away. Days like this normally do that to you. My wife died 3 years ago. She was 19, I was 21. She was still a teenager for gods sake. I can still see her body lying in the ally next to the trash. It was a drive by. The gang wars were bad then and still are now. Where was god on days like this? This is not the kind of question a priest in training should be asking himself. Maybe I could talk to Father Conners about it. No he wouldn’t understand, how could anyone? The church feels empty now. The light shining in through the stain glass window does not bleed into the corner I am sitting in. And just when I feel like there is no faith in my life, no hope, no love, she walks in. Hannah Grace flows in through the double doors and glances around the empty sanctuary. She walks torward the alter, her flapper atire flowing begind her, and kneels down to pray. Did she see me? No, how could she have? After all I am in a cassock sitting in a dark corner.

    Hannah is your tipical 1920’s woman. She could be defined as a flapper, if your into that whole stereotype thing. Thats the way the world sees her. But I see her as a balance. She is a balance between the world outside the church and the world within the church. I have known Hannah for about 2 and a half years now. Her father died my first week here at Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church. He was cought in the cross fire of industrial sabotage. From the moment we met we had a connection. Wether it was a connection of tragedy or something more Hannah and I have never explored that area. Though I’m sure the thought has crossed both of our minds more than once.

    “Mrs. Grace.” I said as she jolted up in surprise.
    “Father Baily, I didn’t see you there.”
    “Please Hannah, for the thousanth time, call me Bill.”
    “And for the thousanth time, Father Baily, you have earned the title.”
    “But I’m not even through with my training?”
    “But you have guided me through hard times and restored my faith in god. After all, isn’t that was a priest does?

    I stopped and let her commetns soak in. What she said made sense. But I do not feel comfortable with the title of “Father”, not after the miscariage. God what am I doing? My wife died 3 years ago and here I am talking with a woman I may have feelings for. But for some reason, when I am around Hannah, all my troubles melt away.

    “Well please don’t let me interupt your prayers.” I said as I started to walk away.
    “No please, stay. My prayers were for you.”
    “Me?”
    “I know what today is Father Baily, I only wish there was more I could do than prayers.”
    “Trust me Hannah...you already have”

    For a moment our eyes locked and it was just me and her. No one else, not even god, just me and her. The way it was with Alice. Alice...Alice. I can’t compare Hannah to Alice, this isn’t right. At least not now.

    “Well...I have to go prepare supper for Father Conners and I. Goodbye Hannah.” I said
    “Goodbye Father Baily.”

    She said as she walked out the door. No she didn’t walk. She glided like an angel in the clouds. I felt a warmth all around me. I had not realized it but when I moved closer to Hannah for our conversation, I had stepped into the light of a stain glass window deplicting the image of the Virgin Mary. God works in mysterious ways my friend. In a day so dark as this, he has pulled me from my despair and into his warmth.

    I watched her go out the door and into the radiant day. Radiant...thats what she is, radiant. Then a voice came from above and awoke me from my day dream.

    “BILL!” shouted Father Francis Conners from the balcony.
    “Yes sir.” I answered half wanting to go back to my dream world.
    “Your friend the boxer uh...Russell Sullivan, he wants you to go and spar with him at the gym. Maybe it will be good for you to get out those feelings you are trying to ball up right now.”

    Francis could always see right through me. I have known him since I was a child. He and my father were friends in childhood and adulthood. And when my dad died and mom was taken to the asylm he took me in and rased me.

    He was right too, it would be nice to box some and to see Russell. Russell and I grew up together in the irsh slum Little Dublin. Even after I left and lived with Francis we still kept in touch. But now I’m going into the priesthood and he is one of the top contenders in New York so we rarely see each other. We use to play box when we were children. He always won. He even broke my nose once. But thats nothing compared to the way he and his brother Charles use to fight and agrue. They did more than “play box” but still remain close to this day.

    I put on my trench coat and hat and stepped out into the real world. The world where my own personal depression was reflected in the world around me. The roaring 20’s were over. In 1905 we entered the technology boom. One year these streets were filled with horses and carages. Now cars fly above the skyscrapers and create a film of crimson smog over New York. But what goes up must come down. And boy did it come down. The homeless and unemplyed walk the street and beg, but no one has any money to give them. They have even communized and live together in shanty towns in Central Park. But even that is not the extent it. Their communization has turned into communism. The American Communist Party organizes and operates in the heart of the shanty towns. Someone with power needs to help and guide this herd of sheep. At least some people are doing something. A herd of protesters passes me and I think of Alice. She would have been right there with them, fighting for their rights. But Alice is gone now and I have arived at the gym.
     
  3. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    I walk into the ring and meet with Russell. The gym smells of cigares, sweat, and sin. Normally a priest would be the last person you would see here but I feel odly at home amungst these riff raff. In the corner talking to Russell is his manager Ben Callenger and out of the ring is his brother Charels.

    “Someone told me you felt like having your butt wooped today.” I knew this statement would get Russell’s attention.
    “Ya,” he said as he smiled a grin that was missing a few teeth, “I wonder when the guys gona show up”.
    “Well I guess I’m gona have to do then huh.”
    “How the hell ya been Bill.”

    He walked up to me and gave a big bear hug. He whispered something to me, I couldn’t unerstand it, but I’m sure it had to do with Alice. Russell always knew how to get right to the point.

    “Hey Chuck, hows the force.” I yelled across to Chuck. He is on the NYDP and is a detective. He has a large gut and normally has a cup of coffee in his hand but today its a beer.

    “Ah you know Bill, the world gets sicker everyday, drugs get sold to children, and sons kill their own mothers for a dime. But ya know I can’t complain. Just the other month they assigned me to one of our top cases, investingating the Kingfish.”

    Kingfish. He was suppose to be just an urban legend. Suposedly he is the head of all the major crime bosses in New York. Nothing happens in New York with out him knowing about it and no one gets “whacked” without him knowing about it either. Without him, the organized crime of NYC falls apart. But even Chuck investigating him proves his existance.

    “Wow Chuck, the Kingfish, thats a big case.” I said.
    “Ya and he blabbers that big trap of his bout it all the time.” Russell said obviously anoyed with Chuck.
    “Well come on Bill. Where are your shorts and gloves? I have a hard time hitting a priest in shorts, much less un in that attire.”
    “I’m not a priest yet Russell. Besides, I came here to talk, not to fight.”

    Russell smiled down at me with those piercing eyes of his.

    “Come on Bill,” he said as the smirk got bigger, “your a fighter... ya and always will be.”
    “Well not today. I’ll leave you to your training. I heard you have a big fight this weekend, good luck.”
    “Thanks fur stoppin’ buy Bill and don be a stranger. Come back anytime time.”

    I walked out of the gym and back into the light. I wish I could say the fresh air washed upon me but this is New York City, there is no fresh air. Across the street was a small stand selling single white roses. Alice loved white roses. What am I doing? Sure it was a terrible thing that my wife died, but I can’t live the past for forver, she wouldn’t want me to. It is time. It is time that I finally talk to Alice. Weather she can hear me or not it is time. I bought a rose and yelled for a cab. I had to let go.

    “The Omega Cemetery please.” I told the cabby as the car rose to the traffic levels above the city.
     
  4. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    its a short post i know but the next one will be big and very important so stay tuned
     
  5. Nightdevil

    Nightdevil Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2003
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    hmm.. very interesting
     
  6. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    ? care to elaberate, i know not much has happened and the begining is slow but the graveyard sene with start all the wheels in motion. so just hold on for 1 more post
     
  7. Invisiboy

    Invisiboy All-American Loser

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2004
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    0
    Please post more. This is so good!
     
  8. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    wow, im glad u like it. ya i plan on writting more once summer comes. im concetrating on girls and grades right now, so once the summer comes i should have more time to finish it, but im glad u like. this story is also the basis for my own comic universe called LG comics. check out that thread if u r interested in writting for it
     
  9. Invisiboy

    Invisiboy All-American Loser

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2004
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know. I offered to write for it but it'll be easier to do if I have a first story to work off of. So finish this story up and I can get down to writing.
     
  10. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    sounds good man. ill just finish the orgin, then ive got 2 ideas for story lines so after the orgin is done ill pitch u those and we will go from there ok
     
  11. owen_2006_294

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2005
    Messages:
    620
    Likes Received:
    0
  12. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    thank u very much, and there will be the grave yard scene hopfully at the begining of next week. we have a long weekend this weekend so i may be able to write it.
     
  13. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    When I got out of the cap my feet sank, and so did my stomach. By now it was dark and the rain had been coming down since I got out of the cap. About 20 feet ahead of me was her grave. Her tombstone was small and looked even smaller next to the statue of an angel over the grave next to her. I had to buy the small one; it was all we could afford.

    “Alice…” I muttered as I stood over her grave. My knees collapsed and I fell to the mud, kneeling in front of my fallen angel.

    “Alice…your death changed me. I am not the Bill Baily you once knew. I am colder. The church that I work in just reminds me of how small my in faith in god is. It should redeem it, but it doesn’t. This isn’t your fault though. It is no one’s faults. Alice, you will always be a part of me. But I have to let go of you now. Please…give me some sign that it is ok if I let go.”

    The lightning cracked and the thunder’s roar shook the very tombstone I was holding onto for dear life. And then someone put their hand on my shoulder.

    “It’s ok to get up now.” said the stranger behind me.

    I turned around and there was a tall man in a trench coat, with round glasses and a shaved head. Suddenly my knees worked again, and I rose to my feet.

    “Your shorter than I thought you would be.” said the stranger. I could barely make out a grin as the lightning illuminated his face and flashed off his glasses.

    “Who are you?” I asked.
    “My name is Shepard Delta and your name is Bill Baily.”
    “How do you know my name?”
    “Oh, I know much more than that about you. Now listen, this is going to sound crazy, but please just listen.”

    He paused for a moment. I was still in shock of being confronted by this strange man in a graveyard at night, but I nodded in agreement.

    “In the year 2067 an evil dictator named Simon will take over earth. The entire world is under his control and mercy as he plunders the world’s resources for his own use. I am part of a resistance. When he gained power, several of NASA’s top scientists rocketed themselves to a secret base on the moon. With them they brought their families and friends and started a colony on the moon. They began to try and fight Simon head on, but his army and power was already too great. The only way to get him out of power was to have him never gain power at all. They began to develop a time machine around the time I was born. Twenty four years later it was ready and I was selected to pilot it into the past. But we had to know what to change in order for Simon to never come to power. They did research for about 7 months till they found out there was no way for Simon to never gain power. In any alternate time line he will always gain control. But there was suppose to be someone to stop him. A man named Dean Baily. But why had this Dean Baily never existed? Because his great great grandfather had died of polio at 17. So we came back to the year he was born, 1905, and brought with us technology that they didn’t have along with cures for diseases. Because we did this he did not die. But then something unexpected happened, his wife died. Without a wife or significant other how was he suppose to reproduce? He became depressed and started to think he would never love again. So naturally I had to come back and guide him to the right path. Oh and Bill, if you haven’t guessed, you’re the guy I was talking about.”

    What was this guy talking about? Something about the future, and that my mere existence is why Alice is dead.

    “Your right…” I said as my stomach started to twist into knots again, “I do think you are crazy.”

    The grin faded from his face and his head hung down.

    “I was afraid you would say that.” he said with a sigh, “I guess I will just have to show you then.”

    He reached into his coat pocket and brought out a small golden ball. Then he threw it about 10 feet away from us, and the sphere began to get larger till it was taller than Shepard.

    “Come.” he said as he walked into the sphere, “Come see the future that you can prevent.”

    I started to think about what I should do. Should I just run, get a cab and go home? Or is this guy really telling the truth. Should I actually get into that thing? Before my mind could make a decision my feet did. And the last thing I saw was a blinding flash of light.
     
  14. TwilightPro101

    TwilightPro101 ........

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,032
    Likes Received:
    0
    I like the overall concept and hope you continue to write more of it.
     
  15. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    thanx you very much and i plan on writting much more
     
  16. Invisiboy

    Invisiboy All-American Loser

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2004
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    0
    You haven't written since last month. What's happening?
     
  17. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    sorry, just trying to finish out the school year
     
  18. Invisiboy

    Invisiboy All-American Loser

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2004
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL Me, too! Sixth Grade is killin' me.
     
  19. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol, try the 11th
     
  20. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    sorry for the wait everyone, ive been developing a new story called red scare. but i will continue writting the saint asap. again sorry for the wait
     
  21. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    this entry is short but important. here it is.

    There was a swirl of colors around us. All concepts of time a space melted as we glided into the future. There was a system of pipes and tubes all around the sphere and a sound of rushing water filled it. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the machine stopped. Shepard and I stepped out and onto the cracked concrete that went on for miles. No grass, no trees, no sign of life in any form. There was only flashes of light in the distance and a low rumbling.

    "What is that noise?" I asked Shepard.
    "That is the noise of constant battle between the resistance and Simon." he said with a grimace.
    "Just Simon?" I asked, wondering how one can could wage a war.
    "Just Simon." Shepard said as he turned towards me.
    "Good God." I muttered under my breathe.
    "No!", Shepard said, "God has got nothing to do with this place!"
    "Please Shep, I understand what I have to do. Just please get me out of this Hell." I said franticly.

    Shep guided me back into the sphere. When I stepped in I noticed the pipes again.

    "Shep, what are these things?" I asked, pointing to the tubes.
    "Those pipes carry a liquid called Quantum Fuel. It was discovered on the moon and it helps to guide the time machine through past, present, and future."

    The machine started up and the world melted around us as we sped through time. But this time was different. The swirl of colors was now a storm. Thunder and blue lightning cracked around us. The storm shook the time machine so much I was knocked off my feet. when I hit the floor I stared up and I saw the pipes running over me. Just then, lighting struck the time machine and the pipes busted! I was covered in this silver liquid that felt like it was seeping down into my bones. Then the scene faded to black.
     
  22. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    so ive been away for awhile. but i am going to pick back up this story soon. sorry it has been so long
     
  23. Superhobo

    Superhobo Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Messages:
    6,255
    Likes Received:
    0
    Please, don't.

    Just let it die.
     
  24. TimDrake64x

    TimDrake64x Registered

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,404
    Likes Received:
    0
    ouch. well i can take constructive critisim. what are your gripes with it?
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"