When should you have "The Talk" with your kids?

[HaplessHenchman]

I have a daughter who is approaching double digits in age and I am wondering when we should have the "talk" concerning the "birds and the bees"?

I'm sure my wife will handle most of the talk with the daughter but we have a son right behind so I'll probably take the lead with him. Does the answer to the question vary depending on the gender?

Just so you know, my parents never even broached the subject. I had to learn "on the streets" or in a sex-ed class I got at some point.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

IMO the earlier the better. Don't let it be something they feel dirty about or make a big deal about it. It's all natural and normal and I'm a firm believer that everyone should be taught about safe sex but in a manner that informs them it's not something that should be done willy nilly at a young age

 

[DarkSovereignty]

Pretty much what DJ said, don't make her think it's something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. Repression can really f*** a kid up when they hit adulthood. Just look at some people on here

 

[Lencho01]

After they watch the puberty video. For me it was in 5th grade. Kids already start doing stuff in middle school.

 

[Feenix]

I would say 10-12 is a good time. I think they can better understand the consequences of their actions. Be open, be truthful, don't judge, and let them know that sex and sexuality is natural but that they need to protect themselves.

 

[Boy Scout]

Between 9 and 10.

 

[SuperSanchez]

I never got the talk, I just learnt in Physical Eduction and Health and Development.

 

[Howlett]

When they start asking questions.

 

[Sex]

Greetings.

 

[Greeneyes]

A simple and clear explanation when they are young or if they ask questions so there is no confusion and feelings of shame etc, then again properly at 11 or 12. Also depends on the maturity of the child and whether they have accidentally seen anything or heard about sex from another source like older kids, as they may need to be corrected or reasured about what they have been told or what they may imagine.

Just being honest and open within reason is the best way I reckon.

 

[Greeneyes]

Greetings.

So you would have just talked to yourself then I guess t:

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Just hand them a sex ed book for kids around 9.

Then be available anytime if they have questions.

It's important to be frank and honest without being crude or awkward.

 

[terry78]

If she's already getting stomach aches, it's too late.

 

[spiderman2]

I have a daughter who is approaching double digits in age and I am wondering when we should have the "talk" concerning the "birds and the bees"?

I'm sure my wife will handle most of the talk with the daughter but we have a son right behind so I'll probably take the lead with him. Does the answer to the question vary depending on the gender?

Just so you know, my parents never even broached the subject. I had to learn "on the streets" or in a sex-ed class I got at some point.

I don't know if my parnets ever had the talk with me lol. I think I just some how learned about stuff. Even people from my generation has I am 25 I think know a lot more about stuff like this compared to generations before me and I think kids now days get to knowing things even sooner then my generation did.

 

[Erzengel]

After they walk in with me wrestling with mom.

 

[KevanG]

I'd say whenever they start noticing the opposite (or same) gender different than usual.

 

[PacificBoy]

Just hand them a sex ed book for kids around 9.

Then be available anytime if they have questions.

It's important to be frank and honest without being crude or awkward.

That's what my dad did when I was 15, though I never did return with questions, to him or my mum for that matter! And I think I turned out okay in that regard. If I had a kid, 11 would be the go-to age.

 

[Shikamaru]

I never really had "the talk" with my parents, or at least not in the traditional way it's envisioned. They never sat me down and gave me a full-length discussion on it, and instead gave me "little talks" throughout childhood (starting from an early age).

I agree that the earlier the better. The earlier kids can get informed on the topic, the further we can get away from the slant against sexuality that exists in our culture (which is still rapidly decreasing, but only to a extent).

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

When they're 35.

 

[Lantern Venom]

Another aspect you should consider is if your child is ready to listen. I wasn't interested in the subjects of dating and sex until many years after adults thought I should be, and that led to resentment on my part when I felt like sex ed was forced on me.

 

[Warhammer]

My dad gave me the talk early. I am so thankful for it.

 

[Alien Anal]

Yeh I dont believe I ever really had a proper sit down talk about it with my folks but I think growing up you become curious and if you have built a good relationship with your child they will just ask you small questions over time plus there is so much sex in pop culture that they just kind of figure out somethings going on, that on top of general sexual urges throughout puberty and growing up.

Clearly this wont be the case for everyone so I guess you just have to play it by ear.

But really what do I know, Iv never had children but I once was a child.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

Between 9-10.

After they walk in with me wrestling with mom.

And if this happens, could happen at a young age for the children.

 

[HaplessHenchman]

Thanks for the responses guys.

My daughter has been talking about a boy at school an awful lot lately. I think she may have her first crush. However, she is still grossed out whenever my wife and I kiss so I'm still kind of wondering if she is ready.

I did find out that her school starts sex-ed in fourth grade, which is next year for her. Despite that, I still think the parents should explain things first so we'll probably sit her down sometime this summer and talk about it.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

You can start by saying these kisses are the natural progress.
We all had our share of saying 'ew' to something.