2013 Hype! Deathmatch: The Sign-Ups

[Sawyer]

Except during Deathmathes.

Especially during Deathmatches. You won because of me.

THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME!!!

 

[The Original Bamfer]

It's actually all about me. But since I consider myself and Sawyer one being at least three nights a week, it works.

 

[Sawyer]

It's actually all about me. But since I consider myself and Sawyer one being at least three nights a week, it works.

Aww, that's sweet....

I certainly would hope I haven't been catfishing you all this time.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Meowglub love, whatevah.

 

[Sawyer]

Now as for the rest of you...

What the hell is wrong with you people? Why can't you do ONE thing I say?

This is your fault. This is what comes of your disrespect. I told you all. I warned you for a solid year. You cross me, there will be consequences. What part of that didn't you understand?

Well... Maybe now you'll listen. Maybe now you'll use your damn head. You know, you never believed in me. You were never grateful for anything I did for this forum. "Oh, no. Sawyer. Sawyer, you have to stop. You have to stop this. It's immoral. It's illegal. Someone might get hurt." You're always whining and complaining about how I make my posts, just dragging me down. While I do everything. And now– now you vote for Parker Wayne after I've told you and told you to keep your damn mouth shut. You stupid *****. How dare you?

You, you have no right to discuss anything about what I do. Oh, what– what the hell do you know about it anyway? Nothing. I built this. Me. Me alone. Nobody else!

You mark my words, Parker. Toe the line, or you will wind up just like Wontkins. He crossed me. You think about that. Family or no. You let that sink in.

 

[Sawyer]

No immediate response?

Ugh... the things I do for you people. No respect.

 

[Kane52630]

Now as for the rest of you...

What the hell is wrong with you people? Why can't you do ONE thing I say?

This is your fault. This is what comes of your disrespect. I told you all. I warned you for a solid year. You cross me, there will be consequences. What part of that didn't you understand?

Well... Maybe now you'll listen. Maybe now you'll use your damn head. You know, you never believed in me. You were never grateful for anything I did for this forum. "Oh, no. Sawyer. Sawyer, you have to stop. You have to stop this. It's immoral. It's illegal. Someone might get hurt." You're always whining and complaining about how I make my posts, just dragging me down. While I do everything. And now– now you vote for Parker Wayne after I've told you and told you to keep your damn mouth shut. You stupid *****. How dare you?

You, you have no right to discuss anything about what I do. Oh, what– what the hell do you know about it anyway? Nothing. I built this. Me. Me alone. Nobody else!

You mark my words, Parker. Toe the line, or you will wind up just like Wontkins. He crossed me. You think about that. Family or no. You let that sink in.

 

[KevanG]

I have not the words for that.

 

[Sawyer]

Now this is the response I was looking for.

Laughs are cheap. I want GASPS.

 

[Victarion]

 

[ComicChick]

great, i don't know if my southern drawl can top the cheeky brit

 

[KevanG]

Now this is the response I was looking for.

Laughs are cheap. I want GASPS.

Of terror, pleasure or amazement, ALL SHALL SUFFICE!!!

Right?

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

I didn't read this but I can tell someone needs to kick your ass off your nonexistent pedestal.

It's actually all about me. But since I consider myself and Sawyer one being at least three nights a week, it works.

Sorry I beat your golden boy. Would you like kneepads to help sooth him?

 

[Sawyer]

Someone's mad I tainted their win.

 

[SuperFerret]

JP!? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

Now as for the rest of you...

What the hell is wrong with you people? Why can't you do ONE thing I say?

This is your fault. This is what comes of your disrespect. I told you all. I warned you for a solid year. You cross me, there will be consequences. What part of that didn't you understand?

Well... Maybe now you'll listen. Maybe now you'll use your damn head. You know, you never believed in me. You were never grateful for anything I did for this forum. "Oh, no. Sawyer. Sawyer, you have to stop. You have to stop this. It's immoral. It's illegal. Someone might get hurt." You're always whining and complaining about how I make my posts, just dragging me down. While I do everything. And now– now you vote for Parker Wayne after I've told you and told you to keep your damn mouth shut. You stupid *****. How dare you?

You, you have no right to discuss anything about what I do. Oh, what– what the hell do you know about it anyway? Nothing. I built this. Me. Me alone. Nobody else!

You mark my words, Parker. Toe the line, or you will wind up just like Wontkins. He crossed me. You think about that. Family or no. You let that sink in.

That's a nice little speech. I'm glad you looked into your best 8th grade essay and pulled that out. Just a little clarification. You may say you may have won it with your vote, but guess who's vote actually won it. Yep. Mine. I won it with my vote.

But let's say that you were actually in control of your own fate during the deathmatches. That won't matter at the end of the today because history will chalk it up as a loss. When posters talk this deathmatch for years to come, they'll only remember one important detail: That Parker Wayne took down Sawyer at the height of the rivalry. There is no victory today for you, not even a fake, almost mediocre one like being master of your domain (Someone's been watching too much Seinfeld).

I know why you did it, and I want you to know that it's okay. Not everyone has a winner's instinct and a winner's personality. Not everyone can go out say they want to take advantage of the situation and put the control of it in their hands successfully. Some people take half measures, like voting for the opponent to give themselves an glimmer of hope even in defeat when in truth it makes their rival do nothing but wonder why they thought they were considered an archenemy in the first place. You try to set it up so even you're happy in defeat, though it's a false happiness. You don't know what's like to put it all on the line. We have another word for that: coward.

You come in here, and you make empty threats under the guise that you have power. You have no such power nor authority here. These are my parts around here. You see, you take half measures, and I take full measures. I go for the win from the beginning because I think like a winner. You could learn a thing or two. You may call it tainting, but I call it losing. In other words, Parker Wayne just kicked your ass.

Posters voted for me because they knew I'm a winner. They voted for you to keep a tie. Let that sink in.



Now play my music dammit!

[YT]2TwLOOFvzS4[/YT]

 

[SuperFerret]

*pours Drano down the sink to let everything sink in*

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

Better dump all the drano down there. #pipebomb

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Sorry I beat your golden boy. Would you like kneepads to help sooth him?

The concept here wasn't half bad, but the execution all was.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

I can say the same about your nights with Sawyer. #kneepads

 

[Kane52630]

 

[JP]

JP!? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

WHYYYYYYYYYY

​

 

[Sawyer]

That's factually incorrect. I was owned. But not by you.

I was owned by me.

Though, nice speech, psycho. Good too see you care enough/are mentally unstable enough to craft something that nasty yourself instead of copying and pasting dialogue from Breaking Bad. Happy you won something so meaningless that clearly means SO much to you.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

All I got from that was "Parker Wayne's speech was better than my speech, but I'll pretend not to care again to avoid admitting it."

 

[The Original Bamfer]

No one read your speech.