Best Insults You've Heard Lately

[jaymes_e06]

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years

 

[JayCaz]

ever heard the saying "I wouldn't p*ss on him if he was on fire"??

I heard my Grandfather put a different twist on it & it cracked me up, he was speaking about a guy he didn't like and he said;

"I wouldn't give that f**ker a nod in the desert"

Didn't seem too funny at first, but when I imagined them passing in the desert with nobody else for miles & my Grandad not liking him enough to even give him a nod of acknowledgement, it did make me laugh, especially as he was deadly serious when he said it.

 

[JayCaz]

would you take an umbrella out if it wasn't raining?


well why are you wearing a bra then?

 

[Firm18]

Your momma is so fat that when she eats corn flakes, she eats them out of a satellite dish...

 

[Starbird]

Why is a bra singular, but 'panties' are plural?

 

[StrainedEyes]

would you take an umbrella out if it wasn't raining?


well why are you wearing a bra then?

 

[Shedhut]

think on...^^

 

[Starbird]

My post isn't even an insult...

I must have tourettes then.

 

[JayCaz]

My post isn't even an insult...

I must have tourettes then.

and here's me thinking I just couldn't 'get it'


bah

 

[JayCaz]

you cottoned on yet?? t:

 

[darkseid26]

yo momma so fat her nick name is you gonna eat that

 

[Rando Aces]

yo momma so fat her nick name is you gonna eat that

that is a terrible nickname. i would think her name would be fatty, fatso, large and in charge, or just plain mother.

 

[The-Dark-Knight]

Anything that starts with 'your momma' cracks me up. I really like the satalite dish one, must nip off to say that to my fiance.

She's a lucky girl, she won the lottery getting me.

 

[jaguarr]

I'm going to buy each of you a spoon. So you can eat my ass.

jag

 

[DOG LIPS]

I'm going to buy each of you a spoon. So you can eat my ass.

jag

Those who don't know your ass is made of delicious Rocky Road ice cream might be offended by this.

 

[jaguarr]

Those who don't know your ass is made of delicious Rocky Road ice cream might be offended by this.

They will learn. They...will...learn!

jag

 

[PyroChamber]

You look good in that outfit, a prettier woman would look better but you pull it off just fine.

 

[SFII]

"Kobe... tell me how my ass tastes"

 

[Starbird]

Lulz...

 

[Two-Face]

"Go **** your mom..."

 

[DarknessOfDeath]

Those who don't know your ass is made of delicious Rocky Road ice cream might be offended by this.

ah... don't think I wanna eat that...stuff...from an ass - o...

 

[Starbird]

Yo Momma is like a greyhound bus!? everyone gets a ride!??

Yo Momma is like a doorknob!!? everyone gets a turn!?!

Yo Momma is like a toilet seat !? Everyone can have their way with it, up or down....


?...

I'm going too stop now.

 

[jaymes_e06]

You guys are lol! and some have potty mouths JK

I have an old one from my teacher

If you had brains you'd be dangerous.

 

[WolfCypher]

Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want! (Throws soda on the other person) Now go take a bath.

 

[batsone]

how about "you talk so much sh** your mouth is an ass**le"