Borderline Personality Disorder

Alex Summers

Civilian
Joined
May 9, 2004
Messages
348
Reaction score
0
Points
11
A woman I've been dating for a short amount time has recently informed me that she was diagnosed with BPD. She's been going to therapy and taking medication for this "condition" of hers. I was a little ignorant when it came to this disorder so I looked it up. After reading about it I've come to the conclusion that I'm way over my head. Has anyone ever dealt with someone who suffers from BPD? If so, how did you handle it?
 
BPD is extremely, extremely difficult to deal with, for the sufferer and those around him/her.

Leaving her now would reinforce some of the paranoia/abandonment fears that come with BPD and probably seem to make her worse. However, if you think that you won't be able to handle being with her and pretty much sacrificing yourself, leaving her now would be less traumatic than staying with her for long enough to break down some of her barriers and then deciding that you can't take it and leaving.

You could ask to come to one of her therapy sessions and have a heart-to-heart with her therapist about what to expect and a more personal evaluation of what you're getting into.

It all sounds really un-romantic, and a lot of people would say 'love will conquer all and make everything ok' but with BPD, it really won't. Its constant, constant work.

In short, it depends on how much you like this girl so far. Leaving now may seem harder, but its better for everyone in the situation now than later, if it has to happen. I'm not trying to scare you away from the situation, or speculate that you're not strong enough to handle it. She doesn't deserve to be with someone who can't support her the way she needs, and you don't deserve to unwittingly commit yourself to a situation that could break you as a person. Its a very difficult situation- as is any when dealing with mental illness.
 
What is that type of science where the shape of your skull is connected to the job you'll get?
 
BPD is extremely, extremely difficult to deal with, for the sufferer and those around him/her.

Leaving her now would reinforce some of the paranoia/abandonment fears that come with BPD and probably seem to make her worse. However, if you think that you won't be able to handle being with her and pretty much sacrificing yourself, leaving her now would be less traumatic than staying with her for long enough to break down some of her barriers and then deciding that you can't take it and leaving.

You could ask to come to one of her therapy sessions and have a heart-to-heart with her therapist about what to expect and a more personal evaluation of what you're getting into.

It all sounds really un-romantic, and a lot of people would say 'love will conquer all and make everything ok' but with BPD, it really won't. Its constant, constant work.

In short, it depends on how much you like this girl so far. Leaving now may seem harder, but its better for everyone in the situation now than later, if it has to happen. I'm not trying to scare you away from the situation, or speculate that you're not strong enough to handle it. She doesn't deserve to be with someone who can't support her the way she needs, and you don't deserve to unwittingly commit yourself to a situation that could break you as a person. Its a very difficult situation- as is any when dealing with mental illness.

Excellent advice. :up:

jag
 
Oh and stay with her, don't be a dick.

If he honestly knows that he can't handle it. Than that's not being a dick. Being a dick is staying with her even though he is overwhelmed by this part of her and then finally breaking her heart later on.
 
If he honestly knows that he can't handle it. Than that's not being a dick. Being a dick is staying with her even though he is overwhelmed by this part of her and then finally breaking her heart later on.

Exactly. Its much more traumatic for a person with abandonment issues to finally start to put some trust in a person and have them leave than to have it happen when they still expect him/her to leave. Its not just that it would 'break her heart'- depending on how far the relationship gets, it could put her in the hospital or worse. 'Abandonment' and 'being alone' are two of the most horrible concepts in the world to a person with BPD.
 
That is a tough deal if she isn't going to get better . however i think after a while she will improve. I 'd stick it out if you really want to be with her.
 
Seriously, if you leave her she might try to kill you.
 
Been there, done that. He was a diagnosed schizophrenic. Good times.
 
Wow, Logan's Runt is like a diamond in a sea of crap advice in this thread. Ignore everyone else and follow Runt's advice.
 
May I ask, what is BPD?
hellboy_bprd_tshirt2.gif
 
Let me rephrase.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Thanks for the clarification. It appeared you were asking what the abbreviation was for. At any rate, Geo's got the right approach by suggesting you search on it to get a more complete explanation than you'd get here.

jag
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Staff online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
200,548
Messages
21,758,609
Members
45,593
Latest member
Jeremija
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "afb8e5d7348ab9e99f73cba908f10802"