Borderline Personality Disorder

[Zoken]

Thanks. I have to agree with Logan's grunt. go into honest with yourself and with her. If you can't handle it, you will only hurt the both of you by trying to stick it out and failing.

Not exactly the same thing, but similar. I knew a girl in high school who had a kid. I really liked her, but I was not ready to take on any kind of familiar position. I stayed her friend, but never became anything more.

 

[Logan's Runt]

Thanks. I have to agree with Logan's grunt. go into honest with yourself and with her. If you can't handle it, you will only hurt the both of you by trying to stick it out and failing.

Not exactly the same thing, but similar. I knew a girl in high school who had a kid. I really liked her, but I was not ready to take on any kind of familiar position. I stayed her friend, but never became anything more.

Indeed. My mom was engaged at the time that she became really ill with MS. They ended up breaking it off because the guy didn't think he would be able to deal with a perpetually ill wife.

 

[Alex Summers]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I just decided that I'm going to end the relationship. I've been thinking about this for about a month now and I think it would be best for both of us to call it quits.

Now for the harsh truth: Based on what I read I don't think it's possible for anyone with BPD to carry on a normal relationship. Even with intensive therapy. It just seems like they will forever be stuck in this social tornado, if you will.

 

[Zoken]

Don't be Romantic... but that doesn't mean to cut off your relationship. Be her friend. Support her as a friend. It's less of an obligation that a romantic partner.

 

[jaguarr]

Don't be Romantic... but that doesn't mean to cut off your relationship. Be her friend. Support her as a friend. It's less of an obligation that a romantic partner.

She may not be able to make the distinction between friend and romantic partner, given her state.

Difficult decision to make, Alex. It sort of falls under that old adage of "if you love somebody, set them free". If you know it's just not going to be something you can take, long term, then the best thing to do for her and yourself is to move on. Takes a pretty mature mindset to think things through to that degree and arrive at such a tough decision. Best of luck to you and to her.

jag

 

[Golgo-13]

A woman I've been dating for a short amount time has recently informed me that she was diagnosed with BPD. She's been going to therapy and taking medication for this "condition" of hers. I was a little ignorant when it came to this disorder so I looked it up. After reading about it I've come to the conclusion that I'm way over my head. Has anyone ever dealt with someone who suffers from BPD? If so, how did you handle it?

Get.

Out

Now!

 

[Space Moose]

Is she hot? Then yes.

Besides, some disorders can totally get you laid. I have Aspergis Syndrome and some girls find it hot. Serious.

 

[Logan's Runt]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I just decided that I'm going to end the relationship. I've been thinking about this for about a month now and I think it would be best for both of us to call it quits.

Now for the harsh truth: Based on what I read I don't think it's possible for anyone with BPD to carry on a normal relationship. Even with intensive therapy. It just seems like they will forever be stuck in this social tornado, if you will.

She may hate you for it, but you have to do what you have to do.

I don't think the second part is entirely true. Some recent research suggests that it can get better with age/proper care. It all depends on the person, like with many mental illnesses. Some people get better, some are plagued with it forever. And, some people can carry on fighting through a mental illness alongside the ill person. But it destroys some. Its all a personal decision about what you can, and what you want to handle.

She may not be able to make the distinction between friend and romantic partner, given her state.

Difficult decision to make, Alex. It sort of falls under that old adage of "if you love somebody, set them free". If you know it's just not going to be something you can take, long term, then the best thing to do for her and yourself is to move on. Takes a pretty mature mindset to think things through to that degree and arrive at such a tough decision. Best of luck to you and to her.

jag

Exactly. And part of BPD is 'black and white thinking.' The BPD person has a hard time or cannot conceive of gray areas. They can't see that even though it hurts now, it will be better in the end- all they know is they hurt, and they'll act out whatever they feel, without understanding of both sides.

 

[Alex Summers]

Is she hot? Then yes.

Besides, some disorders can totally get you laid. I have Aspergis Syndrome and some girls find it hot. Serious.

Have you been formally diagnosed?

 

[Logan's Runt]

Is she hot? Then yes.

Besides, some disorders can totally get you laid. I have Aspergis Syndrome and some girls find it hot. Serious.

I have a friend with Asperger's. He's awesome, but it certainly doesn't get him laid, haha.

 

[Alex Summers]

LR,

You seem to be extremely knowledgeable (sp?) about this particular condition. Do you work in the mental health field?

 

[Logan's Runt]

LR,

You seem to be extremely knowledgeable (sp?) about this particular condition. Do you work in the mental health field?

Nope. I'm interested in psychology and do a lot of casual reading as well as having taken a lot of psychology in college- mostly focused on abnormal psychology. Not that the above qualifies me in any way as an expert- I'm not claiming that. Its just an area of interest in which I can offer good research sources and some personal experience. I have experience with BPD and pseudo BPD on a personal level (along with several other mental illnesses/disorders.) Many people in my life have struggled with various psychological troubles.