Bought/Thought August 12th, 2009 - SPOILERS

[CaptainCanada]

Only three more Wednesdays at my current LCS. Ugh, moving is going to be a hassle.

Small-ish week (four books and a trade), but generally of high quality.

Part I: Standalones

Incredible Hercules #132

My reaction to some of Herc's more recent issues has been a bit mixed: #126 was excellent, particularly the main Herc origin; #127-128 were good, though they had the least-attractive art the series has had; #129-131 was a step up, with progressively better art, and ended strongly. "The Replacement Thor", based on the first issue, is the strongest since at least "Love and War". First off, Reilly Brown's art is perfectly suited to the series; he rivals Clayton Henry for the best facial expressions yet seen on the series, which always enhances the comedy bits. Between him and the impending return of #126's Rodney Buchemi, this is the strongest art on the series since Sandoval left. Writing-wise, we get to the appearance of the Thor mythos, something everyone (including myself) has been waiting for since the series started. Herc and Kid Zeus are recruited by Balder to go and stop Alflyse, the Queen of the Eastern Spires, who aims to rule all the Dark Elves and then the Nine Worlds. And she's a hot blue chick, which both Herc and Zeus find very attractive. Zeus, incidentally, looks to be a fantastic addition to the cast. Pretty much everything he says is funny. I'm not sure why Malekith was able to get Thor's costume right, when he got Balder's wrong, but whatever.

I'll be interested to see how the whole split-focus works for the next six issues; if this wasn't bimonthly, it would be really annoying, but twice a month is feasible.

The Marvels Project #1

It'd be easy to compare this to Ultimate Origins or any of the other big "secret conspiracy" stories of this type told over the years, but this isn't really shaping up to be that, both based on the writer's statements and on the contents. There are some little touches, like FDR's little cabal funneling some cash to Drs. Horton and Bradley to develop the Human Torch, but mostly Brubaker seems to be leaving the separate stories as is, and working in new details in crevices not yet explored much (the period he's chosen, 1938 to 1941, isn't an especially story-heavy period anyway). Quite a bit of this first issue is spent with non-costume types: FDR and his crew (including, in a nice throwaway moment, his wife's cousin Kermit), Dr. Erskine, a pre-sergeant Nick Fury and his friend, and a non-costumed Thomas Halloway. Steve Rogers makes a one-panel cameo. Halloway's enjoying a bit of a resurgence, between this and the X-Men Noir series, perhaps since he's the most significant Golden Age Marvel character who never had anything done with him after the Golden Age. It's your typical solid Brubaker start. Epting's art (been a while since we had new material from him) is excellent, as expected, and the colourist does a great job here.

Next: Crossovers

 

[Dread]

Short week after a monster last week, which is reasonable. The shop I went too actually mistakenly undercharged me a dollar because BOOSTER GOLD being $4 now was still new. Was that akin to stealing?

As always, rants and reviews contain spoilers. I'll also have an Examiner review article, but it won't be the same. They have different rules regarding language and tone. ;-)

Dread's Bought/Thought for 9/12/09:

BOOSTER GOLD #23: I wonder whose daughter/wife/cousin/friend/etc. that is on the cover. Usually when comic covers feature a photo of a real person, it's someone the writing or editorial staff knows. There's a story within the story here! At any rate, unlike some Marvel titles, I never feel bad about paying $4 for this series, since it has a solid value package, with the Beetle back up strip. The two compliment each other very well, and in this issue in more ways than one. Kyle Rayner fans also may get an extra fix this month. The cover is quite inventive; many comic covers are bland and just have stock action shots, but this one was pretty clever.

Dan Jurgens continues to write/draw this series alongside Norm Rapmund. Booster is still trying to save the Justice League by saving the newest Batman, Dick Grayson. Reoccuring villains the Black Beetle, still working with a mysterious evil time traveler guy, has successfully killed Dick Grayson, as well as most of the "New" Teen Titans alongside Deathstroke and his son Ravager. These leaves Booster, Rip, and Raven to travel to 2020 to try to stop the Black Beetle. Only it turns out, in a JLA without Batman, they lost too much "soul" and were unable to beat Trigon, Raven's demonic father and now ruler of the planet. Like any post-apocalyptic alternate future, there is a token resistance movement, this time run by Zatanna and a Kyle Rayner who never got a Green Lantern ring, but is still an ex-artist turned hero regardless. Booster Gold seeks to lead some of Trigon's demonic minions away from them, and ends up meeting the demon lord himself. Meanwhile, it seems Black Beetle is working with the Lex Luthor of this world. Jurgens' art as always is exceptional and iconic and is always hard to imagine the book without it. Booster's "act" of claiming he is the ultimate hero of the future and considering Raven too "emo" for his entourage was also a highlight. I do find it a little hard to believe that the Justice League can't beat Trigon without having an obligatory guy in a bat-cowl to stand back and throw batarangs at him, but considering that Batman was the Wolverine of the DC universe even before Wolvie was "all that", it makes sense on those terms. I am curious who Black Beetle's "master" is. Is it Booster's dad once again?

Blue Beetle's strip wraps up by Sturges and Norton, and to be honest they have managed 8-10 pages a month far better than many writer/artist teams on some of the Marvel anthologies they've tried within the last year. "Armor Plated" wraps up with Beetle taking on Maria, the robot daughter of an ex-mad scientist, alongside his pals Paco and Brenda, who are going through relationship issues. Maria wants her father to rebuild her without emotions, since she finds them inefficient; Brenda tries to convince her with her own experience that they make life more fulfilling, if one lets go of fears about them. Maria doesn't bite, but it provides the cover for Beetle to defeat her. She kind of looks like a cross between Danger and Jocasta, design wise. Sturges' dialogue was on fire this installment; some of the banter Beetle and Paco deliver in speech or narration were hilarious. I am glad that DC has allowed Sturges' run on BB to continue, even in back-up strip form. The ending gets the plot thickening when Black Beetle shows up to "claim" Maria. The main and back-up strips are related!? Delightful madness!

As always since the change, BOOSTER GOLD/BLUE BEETLE is an excellent value package. The stories are good and you get your money's worth. For my four bucks it's the best DC title out there right now.

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #132: The first of a bi-weekly stretch on this title as Hercules and Cho go on separate adventures, and thus have their own penciler attached to each. Reilly Brown draws the first of this stretch, in which Hercules poses as Thor.

This book, along with AGENTS OF ATLAS, always has the funniest recap pages in comics, but this month's took the cake. It's Herc's mockery of Thor's iconic origin panels from Lee & Kirby, and they're hilarious. Worth half the cover price alone. Fortunately things only get better from here. The young, amnesia stricken Zeus takes Cho's place as Herc's kid sidekick and the dynamic works very well. He still has the arrogance and the lightening powers or Zeus, but Hercules has the experience. Pak & Van Lente even have fun with the idea that Zeus is such a horn-dog that he lusts after his own daughter (after all, in the mythology, he did bed his sister after all); Zeus will mate with anything he wants to in whatever form he wants to, incest or not, mortal or not, as a ray of light or swan or whatever. It's hard pulling that sort of thing off without making it seem creepy, but Pak & Van Lente aren't afraid of how absurd it is to modern eyes and use that as comedy. If more comics weren't as afraid to occasionally not take themselves so seriously, they might be better off quality wise. X-Men, anyone?

"Balder" seemingly shows up after Herc & Zeus are split from Athena after a Harpy attack with a bunch of dark elves, and one infamous troll, behind him. He tasks Hercules with taking down the dark elf queen Alflyse, who has been making power moves in the nine realms now that Asgard is on Earth and Thor is no longer part of it, anyway. Hercules pokes some fun at JMS' plight for THOR, and good heavens, did it need a ribbing. "Balder", as it turns out, is Malekith, Hercules' old enemy from AVENGERS past who Hercules actually guessed was behind things on his own, albeit by accident. Now this is a good example of taking old continuity, with a handy dose of editorial notes, and making it work marvelously for a current story. Hercules is excited to one-up his rival Thor by posing as him, and trucks out his Adamantine mace to pose as Mjolnir. Hercules gets to show off his experience to the young Zeus, which is a switch, as well as take down some goblins together. Past stories like LOVE & WAR are referenced and the tone is light and adventurous, but still serious enough that there is a sense of danger or drama when it is warrented. In essence, INCREDIBLE HERCULES is a well rounded book, which is why this issue and most are of excellent quality.

Brown's artwork is excellent for this issue as well. I missed Clayton Henry, but Brown's stuff is pretty damn good. And as always, Pak & Van Lente are gold with the character lines. Hercules has very quickly gone from someone I so-so cared for to one of my favorite comic heroes in general, third behind Nova and Invincible. Thor can cry a river about always being tricked by Loki forever in comparison. Naturally, of course, Norse and Greek mythology works differently especially in the Marvel Universe so it evens out and works on that level, too.

And Herc's imagined imitation of Cho's brilliance? Hilarious.

INCREDIBLE HERCULES is usually one of Marvel's best titles month in and month out, but this issue was excellent even on that high standard. The inevitable showdown with Malekith will be interesting, and Cho's storyline will have quite a mountain to climb to match this sort of energy.

UNCANNY X-MEN FIRST CLASS #2: The theme of the issue, and in fact this two part story, is the danger of ignorance and jumping to conclusions. It's a timeless moral lesson and a common one with the X-Men, and I highlight it because there are some in the fan community who are committing it now. The original X-MEN FIRST CLASS was not a high seller; it was below what Marvel likes for mainstream titles, but usually on top of the sales of the MARVEL ADVENTURES line, which is why it has branched out a bit; there is a WOLVERINE FIRST CLASS title now. Fans of the original XM:FC admired not only the charm of the stories, but the original founding class of X-Men. In truth, calling the post-Giant Size team "first class" is a bit illogical, but then again, so is Hulk reaching 600 issues when Marvel said he did, or Thor. Some have completely dismissed this relaunch of the title and the Scott Gray run simply because they miss the old class, or they see "too much" of X-Men like Storm, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and Colossus in the mainstream X-Men books now. The fact that Banshee and Jean are alive and well here doesn't count enough. Much as Nightcrawler makes in this story, some fans are ignorant of how solid this book is, and jumping to conclusions about it due to apathy about what the mainstream X-Men books have become lately. And that is a damn, crying shame. I know someone will throw this appeal/argument in my face the next time I do likewise with some title I don't feel like trying either, but I'll make the pitch anyway. This book is that impressive, and I'm as jaded an X-Fan as they come.

Jeff Parker, skilled as he was, wrote his XM:FC stories mostly as team-up adventures that tried to say something about one of the X-Men in the background, but more often than not were lost to the zany, exciting adventures and banter. Which is fine. Gray, however, has turned a token Inhumans guest appearance into a chance to tell something a bit deeper about Nightcrawler, or at least a vital lesson for him. He also portrays Colossus as a good, loyal friend, and remembers that Karnak was NOT exposed with Terrigen Mists (unlike Slott & Gage's shocking oversight in MIGHTY AVENGERS #27). Things devolve into a brawl between the X-Men and the Inhumans, but that was inevitable in a superhero comic. The meat is the stuff that happens before and after.

Last issue, Kurt was becoming frustrated with being mistaken for a monster whether in Germany or New York and wanting to be somewhere he could fit in without an image inducer. When the Inhumans come for a visit and Triton tells him of Attilan, Kurt is curious, and soon overjoyed by it. Colossus sees the city as a test of Kurt's resolve, but Kurt doesn't listen. Upon seeing their youngsters exposed to the Terrigen Mists, however, he believes the Inhuman culture is unfairly "mutating" youngsters, and attacks. Now he is to be put on trial for violating the Inhumans' sacred ceremony, and facing execution. Most of the Inhumans, including Gorgon, are quick to dismiss the "outsider" as quickly as possible. Encouraged to let sleeping Lockjaws lie (sage advice), Triton and Colossus contact the rest of the X-Men, who jet off to speak on Kurt's behalf. While they aren't the focus of the issue, Cyclops and Phoenix do get a bit of focus here. Cyclops displays he has come into his own more now than in the original First Class, telling Xavier to stay behind as a field commander making a tactical decision. This is Phoenix right after the Scott Lang adventure so she is still unsure of her newfound powers and urges. It is she, not the missing Wolverine, that sparks the inevitable fued.

(Wolverine was punted by Gorgon in issue one, and at the end of this issue lands in Georgia; the country not the state. Hilarious!)

Nightcrawler gives a speech at his trial, feeling the Inhuman society is on a slippery slope as it mixes mutagenic change with conformity, which is something that displeases Gorgon and the rest of the rabble. When the X-Men appear as character witnesses, Jean reacts to the "emotions" of the crowd and sparks the melee. Kurt's views on the Inhumans' conformity standards change when he battles Karnak, who is considered Inhuman despite not going through Terrigenesis himself. There is also a quick bit with Quicksilver, where Cyclops criticizes his own training tactics with the "new team", which was cool, that was also an element back then. When Gorgon's temper dangerous all of Attilan with a mountain collapse, the X-Men and Inhumans naturally work together to save the day.

There are some who dismiss this as "leftover stories from the Claremont days", but is that so bad? They're not written by Claremont, so they don't have his ticks. They're not as angsty or brooding, a quality the 70's X-Men onward never had. When was the last time anyone in the X-Men SMILED? A good story is a good story regardless of the period or the characters, and those who fail to see that are truly ignorant. But just as I won't read certain books, I suppose this is a lost cause. I will admit some bias for this line up since it was the X-Men team I first read in reprints as a kid when the TV show sparked my interest in the X-Men in general. Kitty Pryde didn't show up until 1980 I think. Even Banshee would still be in my Top 10 X-Men list due to this era. Hopefully there will be some issues that might guest star one of the founders coming for a visit, but who knows. I think Gray is off to a great spark, capturing the lighter hearted charm of the last First Class but managing to use the format to tell a solid story regardless. Cruz's art is as energetic as ever. The only quibble is sometimes Val Staples' gloss effect has everyone looking a bit like plastic toys, but that's a minor thing; the rest of the colors are solid.

Besides...X-Men. Especially these X-Men. Making jokes. Having light banter. No one dying or being mutilated. In stories that are true to their franchise themes yet make narrative sense. Isn't that worth something?

 

[spiderbob]

Big week for me, which of course, means a smaller week next time. Spoilers abound.

MARVEL

Amazing Spider-Man # 602

Amazing Spider-Man is, I guess, in the set up stage of the game. I know the coming “Gauntlet” storyline is supposed to be, if the hype is to be believed, an awesome arc that reintroduces classic Spidey villains whom we haven’t seen in a couple of years. Yet while the coming story might be great, the current one gives off a feeling of “meh”. Chameleon is currently gathering bodies and assimilating their identities into a face changing pool before acid bathing the original away. While this is a step up from ol’ faceless past failures, from being batted into unconsciousness by MJ and downed by Aunt May’s cooking, he’s shown so far no hint of his purpose to why he’s doing it, aside from having options for moving around.

The problem I have with this issue, and the last one, is that it’s just not interesting. It’s a problem when a comic can’t interest me enough to read all the dialogue and text. When I have to make an effort to read it, instead of being at the edge of my seat to do so (like with Blackest Night), a comic is not doing its job, to entertain and keep its audience. And adding meaningless subplots like Peter’s one night stand then having it give no further purpose or meaning is pointless, and just filler. Annoying filler.
“Uh, I slept with my roommate. I’ll just whine about it for twenty pages, and then settle for cookies” is not something I want to read in Spidey. I want a little more substance than that.

Even with MJ back and Harry having his money and social problems (again!), it just doesn’t really grab me, which sucks, because Spider-Man is my favorite super hero, and has been since I was 7 (amusing story behind it, at least to me).

But he has regressed in characer development. He used to have his troubles, be sarcastic and witty, but show competence in a fight and situation. Now however, he’s having to RE-learn the usefulness of his spider-senses early warning system against danger. He should not have to consciously apply this feat against the Vulture or Norman’s Wolverine, it should come naturally, and if writers have to make it to where it’s an effort for Peter just to make the bad guys more threatening and the situation’s more dire, then that’s poor writing on their part, which makes for poor comics. And it’s getting … tiring of him having living problems and money problems again for the fortieth time. I wouldn’t mind it so much if the issues didn’t spend so many pages dedicated to these problems.

Anyways, the issue concludes with a captured Peter Parker via the Chameleon being supposedly submerged in an acid bath after his identity and face have joined Chameleon’s wall of fame. My bet is that Peter broke free of the chair while Faceless’ back was turned when he answered Peter’s cell and talked to MJ, and is watching from the ceiling so as not to be seen.

So yeah, nice to see what little upping Chameleon’s received, even if it currently lacks direction, but I need the issues to be more engaging.

Ultimate Avengers # 1

It’s really nice to have Millar back on the story after the tsunami of a crap fest that was Ultimatum. One of the things that appeals to me about most manga and anime is that they, the good ones anyway, have finality and resolution. Their stories have a “beginning”, “middle”, and “end” and provide an enjoyable yet finite read. Marvel and DC comics however, are stuck in the “middle”, and after 70 years, when looking at the big picture, can seem to drag and not really progress. Heck, DC’s only aged their characters about 18 or so years, and Marvel’s only done about 10. In seven decades. So while I enjoy the stories (a lot - if they’re well written), and many times they’re not, it does drag.

However, resolution means nothing if how you got to the end was irreverent to the story and its characters. And that’s exactly what Ultimatum was. An irreverent piece of garbage that treated its universe’s characters as if they were toilet paper, the cheap kind, used at a poor man’s baseball stadium to be used by those who are intoxicated and high outta their mind, and any bit that’s spared the vile storm that comes their way is saved by the grace of the combined effort of every deity and god in the existence of every universe in the past, present, and future.

So, saying that, it’s nice to have the stories and characters return to their original care holders. The story, like Ult. Spidey, is basically there to set up the plot for the rest of the arc. Hawkeye is describing to the newly returned Nick Fury about the present situation with S.H.I.E.L.D. and more importantly, a now AWOL Captain America.

The comic then flashes back to an A.I.M. raid that Hawkeye and Captain America are breaking up, jumping from helicopter to helicopter and dispatching A.I.M. troops like they’re nothing. A.I.M. was apparently targeting the Baxter Building’s latest project and the pair of heroes are there to intercede. Carol is monitoring their progress and is searching for Tony Stark who was supposed to be backing up the pair of heroes as Iron Man, but has instead opted to settle his grief over the “Wolverine thing” by drinking and surrounding himself with beautiful chess fanatic women. Interesting how I can never find any of those here.

Anyways, Cap jumps from one copter to the next after finishing the first copter’s canon fodder, only to be met by the Red Skull, whose design is, different, but I’m willing to reserve judgment on the character’s direction in this universe. Red Skull then proceeds to kick the ever loving crap out of America’s poster boy, and whispers something to the Captain’s ear before tossing him out of the copter. Hawkeye then jumps out of the first copter after CA, catching him in mid fall and activating Caps parachute, since Hawkeye neglected to bring one as he wanted to be more mobile during the fight.

I found it odd that Captain America had one on him, as in issue one of Ultimates, Cap was described as jumping out of planes onto the war zone beaches with no chute as it was for sissies, and Cap is anything but. But whatever. The issue ends with Red Skull flying off into the horizon, and Cap revealing to his rescuer what Red Skull revealed to him, that the Red Skull is his son.

It was a decent issue overall despite revolving mostly around the areal skirmish, and a very nice change from what I ranted about earlier (sorry for that). I’ll be sticking with it for now to see how it progresses, but it definitely helps that Miller is in the driver seat once more.

Ultimate Spider-Man Vol. 2 #1

Okay, so I didn’t really buy it as I have it as a subscription and should be receiving it in the mail within the next few days. But I did skim through it while shopping for the others just to get an idea of where volume two is starting and heading towards.

From what I’ve gathered, it’s six months later, Peter works at a fast food joint and isn’t enjoying it one bit (which I can relate to as I’m a manager at one), some new Hood-esque guy busts up a store robbery, Johnny Storm is crashing at Peter’s (don’t know if it’s temporary or not), and Peter and Gwen are a couple now, which will be interesting to see how that came to be, as I’ve always like Gwen’s ultimate character over MJ’s.

Also, I’m still very, uh, what’s a way to put this politely, on the fence about the current art. I enjoy reading manga and watching anime, so the style’s nothing new to me, but it’s a far cry from Bagley’s, and it’s quality on several pages looked… off.

Anyway, I’ll comment more on it if need be when I actually read it, but from what I glimpsed it’s basically a foundation issue to set up the coming story arcs while hinting at what transpired during the past six months. Speaking of, I’m calling bull**** if Peter is still only 15 with six months going by. That would mean that all 133 issues happened within six months, and that’s really really pushing it.

Oh, and Mysterio apparently blew Kingpin out a window. Dunno if he’s dead or not.


DC comic reviews to come.

 

[Dread]

The art on the new Ultimate Spider-Man reminded me of a conversation Peter and MJ had back around the REVENGE OF THE SINISTER SIX saga with Erik Larson in the 90's. At one point she says that when the eyes on his mask are too big, "you look like Felix the Cat".

Well, LaFuente makes Spidey look like Felix The Cat. Which is a shame since I thought it'd be a good fit.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Blackest Night #2: Awesome. The Aquafamily stuff was excellent and sort of makes me wish for a Johns/Reis Aquaman series. I hope Mera manages to make it and rejoin the other heroes to turn the tide. She's a great character who's been pretty manhandled over the years, so she deserves a chance to shine again (not to mention work through all those unresolved conflicts and mixed feelings her and Arthur's relationship was overflowing with). Aquazombie is probably the most badass Black Lantern yet; belittling Atlantis by saying he preferred being on land with his father, taunting Mera with the promise of their son's return, slaughtering the Atlantean troops with sharks--all awesome. Garth got a pretty raw deal, what with Dolphin and Tula trying to kill him (and ultimately succeeding, no less). Kind of puts it all in perspective how much life has sucked for the Aquafamily, huh? We get a couple of dead Hawks, a dead Justice Leaguer here or there, some dead parents for the Bat-family... and virtually the entire Aquafamily, including two babies that weren't shown but were alluded to.

Anyway, the rest of the issue was good too. Hal smashing into the Bat-signal gave me a good chuckle. Barry setting the Zombie Manhunter on fire was pretty f***ed up but appropriate. Deadman's scene was good. The only bits I didn't really like were the Spectre somehow being turned simply by having his host be turned. Cris Allen isn't the Spectre, he's just bonded to it, and the Spectre is God's wrath; you'd think he'd be able to resist the Black Lantern ring. But the Spectre's been nothing if not wildly inconsistent over his long history, so that wasn't really a big deal. The rest of the issue more than makes up for it anyway, plus Reis' rendition of the Black Lantern Spectre is awesome. I love how he shows the desiccated musculature of the Spectre's body, turning him visually from a human-shaped ghost to a much more visceral walking corpse. Nice visual metaphor there.

Incredible Hercules #132: Hilarious, as usual. Did I call it or did I call it? Balder, a god from a realm that pretty much seems to specialize in illusions and deception, shows up mysteriously clothed in his armor from like 20 years ago? Of course it's a ruse. I was surprised to see that it was Malekith rather than Loki, though. I'm glad we're seeing some more old-school Asgardian villains again, even if it isn't in Thor's comic. I liked the little continuity check about the Casket of Ancient Winters, too. Good ol' times from the Simonson days.

Herc and li'l Zeus have already surpassed Herc and Cho in my mind. I love that they're bubbling over with utter hatred for each other, yet they're both so similar. Lecherous, rude, obnoxious bastards, the both of them. And I love it. I kind of wish we could've gotten all the Herc issues first, though. It's gonna be torture waiting for the next issue of this arc even though Herc is coming out twice a month now. Hopefully Cho's story will be equally engaging. I'm genuinely curious about what his sister's deal is.

Oh, and if Reilly Brown stuck around indefinitely on iHerc, I'd be a happy man. Fantastic art this issue.

Green Lantern Corps #39: Solid issue. The battle with the dead GLs begins in earnest, which is great. Guy, Kyle, Kilowog, Salaak, and Natu are together on the front lines, which is great. Kyle realizes he's still not over Jade, which is gr--wait, no, that sucks. I thought we'd put all this bulls*** behind us with Infinite Crisis, but apparently not so much. I hate Jade. A lot. It's disappointing to see Tomasi dredging up that tired old storyline about her being Kyle's "soul mate" or whatthef***ever, especially since he's got Soranik now, who's actually a good character. And, I mean, if Jade's gonna be raised as a Black Lantern, the least they could do is involve her father, too; but since he's treated as the bastard stepchild no one likes to talk about in the current interpretation of the GL franchise, I doubt that'll happen.

So, basically, good issue except for everything involving Kyle.

Blackest Night: Batman #1: Good start. This pretty much expands on the one page we saw of Deadman in BN #2 (although Boston manages to keep himself much more composed in this issue when he visits his own grave). Makes sense that Deadman, who hovers between life and death, would be particularly attuned to the Black Lanterns. Sucks for him, but it makes sense.

Dick is handled well enough. I like the bit where Deadman tries to talk about Damian and Dick starts to "channel Bruce." I did not like Damian in this issue, though. He's an obnoxious little snot, and not in the relatively charismatic way he is under Morrison's pen; here he's just annoying. So is Angsty McAngstpants (Tim Drake to his friends--oh wait, he doesn't have any of those left because he's a b****y little child now!), but that's to be expected since that's apparently DC's overarching directive for the character at this point.

Still, Boston and Dick are engaging leads, the story is very personal in a way most other BN tie-ins haven't been so far--what with Tim and Dick's parents being normal people brought back as Black Lanterns, rather than old superhero comrades--and Ardian Syaf's art is reminiscent of Lee Weeks or older Ron Garney stuff, which is a style I absolutely love. Looking forward to the rest of the mini.

Adventure Comics #1: Good. Not great, not bad, just good. I liked some stuff, I didn't like some stuff, I see potential, I see possible potholes in the road to fulfilling that potential--more than anything else, though, I see a lot of similarities to Smallville. Which, for the record, is bad. It seems like the mandate for this book, according to this issue, is for Conner to get in touch with his roots, both on Superman's side and Lex Luthor's side. Lex conveniently grew up in Smallville thanks to a retcon of a retcon of another retcon that may have been a retcon of something that was originally there or whatever--I really could not possibly care less about the particulars of Superman's far-too-frequently rewritten origin at this point if I tried. But anyway, that makes Conner's attempt to re-evaluate his own life against the lives of his genetic parents essentially boil down to "kick around Smallville and help people." Which, you know, is the formula for Smallville the TV show. Which is, again, bad.

I think the moment that cinched it for me was the omniscient narration about some random geek playing around in a muddy lake who will apparently be Conner's "best friend... AND GREATEST ENEMY[-dun-dun-dunnnnnn!!!]" Really? It's not enough that he's attempting to live Clark's life while digging into Lex's past; we've gotta have a buddy-who-will-inevitably-betray-him prophecy just like Smallville Clark had with Smallville Lex? Oh, and of course the muddy lake has some kind of giant monster hanging out in it. You know, exactly the kind of thing that might have been mutated by meteor radiation on Smallville. My gut reaction to that whole segment was literally: "God, this is so f***ing lame."

And that's a shame because, like I said, there is certainly potential here. Johns stays true to Conner's personality and gives him some good interaction with Ma and Clark--better than he got before he died, back when Clark pretty much ignored him, that's for sure. Krypto serves as a good supporting character for Conner. He's appropriately mischievous and fun but also noble and loyal. Manapul's art is lovely, if a little stiff at times.

So, really, the question seems to be whether I can get past the blatant Smallville-esque backdrop and just enjoy Conner as a character. The answer is a resounding yes because, at the end of the day, it was really only that one section I mentioned that bothered me so much it pulled me out of the story. The rest still bears its similarities to Smallville, but it does so in ways that make as much sense for Conner as they did on that show. So after issue #1 of Conner's triumphant return to life and comic stardom, I'm mostly satisfied and looking forward to more.

The Legion backup was stupid, but I've never liked Johns' "tee-hee, it's crrrrrraaaaaazy Starman!" bulls***, even back in JSA. He plays Starman for cheap laughs that aren't even funny and it all feels really base and cheesy to me. But I am looking forward to whenever the X-S portion of the story, which we get a little glimpse of on the last page, starts up. I loves me some speedsters. Also interested to see who the new recruit of the Legion-era GLC will be.

 

[Swordmaster]

BOOSTER GOLD #23: I wonder whose daughter/wife/cousin/friend/etc. that is on the cover. Usually when comic covers feature a photo of a real person, it's someone the writing or editorial staff knows. There's a story within the story here!

That's Blair Butler, G4's resident comic fangirl.

Anyway, spoilers abound.

Blackest Night #2: Awesome.

Spoiler

Aquaman and friends being all Black Lantern-ized was one of the scariest things I've seen since Lucille Bluth post-surgery, and Hal and Barry working together to attempt to take down "J'onn" was great.

Batman: Blackest Night #1 was good, for being mostly set-up. Tomasi unsurprisingly captures the characters well, and Damien isn't even all that annoying. [blackout]Doesn't stop Dick from telling him to shut up, though.[/blackout] But there's a marked contrast here to the main Bat-title; here, Tomasi writes Dick as channeling Bruce, almost, while in....

Batman #689, he comes across as a happy Batman (said in-issue), quipping during fights. Besides that, though, it was generally good. Winick does write good Dick/Alfred conversations, specifically. But it doesn't feel like much happened, save for [blackout]Penguin and the new Black Mask[/blackout] teaming up.

Adventure Comics #1 was great. The art was beautiful, characters strong. One thing that interests me is how Conner is comparing his actions to both Superman and Lex. I haven't read much with him in it, admittedly, so I have no clue if this is retreading old ground, but I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes, so long as he doesn't become like his old buddy Tim

There was also the preview for Superman: Secret Origin, whichI have no real comment on, save that I'm glad it's finally coming out.

 

[Spade]

Wasn't too hot about Blackest Night #2 and Ultimate Comics Avengers #1. On the DC end, it was kinda boring. Fans of the Aqua-family would probably enjoy this, but to me the issue was just one dead obscure character after another. The previous issue made me feel for the Hawks though I know very little about them. Here, I feel like I have to have read some Silver Age stories for this to have an impact. I was indifferent towards the Marvel side of things, too. This relaunch of the Ultimate Universe proves Millar has a better sense of pace and coherence than Loeb. That said, most of this is the characters acting as plot dumps and the story trying a little too hard to wow me. I'll stick with it to see if more care will be shown for the cast, but this is take-or-leave for now.

The ancillary titles, Green Lantern Corps #39 and Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #1, were much more to my liking. The desecration of the Lantern crypt stood out as a great unsettling moment in GLC, but this issue does a good job of setting up where the other Corps and sectors stand before things really get intense. It's a nice alternative in scope if you'd like to know how those outside of Earth are faring. Ultimate Spidey's book wasn't too shabby, either. It's fair to say I haven't seen a status quo like this in a Spider-Man story. I'm not entirely comfortable with how Peter's love life is being handled, but there's a lot of time between Ultimatum's events and now that can be explored during this new story arc. I'll wait to see where Bendis goes with this.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers #4: Good issue. This was easily the weakest issue of the series, though, given that it drops most of its levity and opts for a straight-up superhero brawl between the Pet Avengers (officially named by Ms. Lion in this issue) and Thanos. The ridiculousness of the series' premise sort of works against in such a conventional setting, since there's no humor to distract us and we're left with a relatively inept Thanos pissing off PETA for the duration of the issue. Still, the resolution is logical enough, given Lockjaw's powers, and Thanos dominates the Pets before the gems are assembled into the Infinity Collar (teehee! ). Speedball and Ms. Lion are still pretty funny, too. Best of all, the last page promises more Pet Avengers in spring 2010! WOOOOOO!

 

[Dread]

That's Blair Butler, G4's resident comic fangirl.

Thanks.

Calling that "Balder" was an impostor, to be fair, was hardly akin to calling the killer of LONG HALLOWEEN or anything.

Similar but different, and shorter, article up at Examiner about the books of the week.

Thanos seriously lost to the Pet Avengers now? After Squirrel Girl, he'll never be taken as a threat again. Or was it a "Thanosi" clone? And isn't he dead? Oh well. I do hope that Giffen's finale for Thanos in ANNIHILATION wasn't seriously undone in actual continuity for PET AVENGERS of all things. That's like undoing Gwen Stacy's murder in continuity for a Spider-Ham tale.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

He didn't "lose," per se. He kicked their collective ass, Throg assembled the gems onto a collar, and then Lockjaw used the power of the Infinity Collar to teleport him to another dimension. I'm sure he'll make his way back eventually.

As for Giffen's "end" to Thanos in Annihilation, I didn't expect that to take anyway. Dude's survived worse than having his heart pulled out. Who the hell even knows how his body works at this point, given all the alterations he's made both genetically and magically?

 

[Dread]

I didn't see it as Thanos actually being killed by Drax; I saw it as Death accepting him into her realm as her consort at last, and thus he allowed himself to die.

But, who cares about a satisfying character conclusion when we have to make a funny about a bunch of animals. Geez. I feel sorry for the poor Handbook writers who will ultimately have to make sense of it. Those guys have to make sense of a lot sometimes.

I don't read PET AVENGERS and I am sure it is hilarious, but I got on NEXTWAVE's case for virtually and forever after destroying perfectly decent C-List characters for the sake of a cheap joke, and that was Warren Ellis. I have to be fair and disapprove of this just from rumor.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Oh, come on, you're really gonna get upset that Thanos was resurrected? It's not like everybody and their mother is resurrected at some point or anything. You're just actively seeking reasons to hate Pet Avengers because your cold, black heart is not receptive to silly fun anymore.

 

[Dread]

Oh, come on, you're really gonna get upset that Thanos was resurrected? It's not like everybody and their mother is resurrected at some point or anything. You're just actively seeking reasons to hate Pet Avengers because your cold, black heart is not receptive to silly fun anymore.

If he had to be resurrected, I would have rather it been for an established purpose in the cosmic line, not to fill the role of token villain in PET AVENGERS. Shouldn't they be fighting super-villain pets anyway?

You know that's not true about "silly fun". I read INCREDIBLE HERCULES, UMBRELLA ACADEMY, BOOSTER GOLD/BLUE BEETLE, and so on. I almost beg people to give UNCANNY X-MEN FIRST CLASS a try. I just don't think it was especially needed to undo a solid Giffen angle for the sole purpose of needing someone to job to the PET AVENGERS. Uncanny X-Men: FC doesn't do any harm to any current characters with it's comedy angles.

If you lose to an non humanoid animal, you suck. Those people Cosmo owns in group battles? They suck. And it usually works because that is the intention. Who better for Cosmo to own than Imperial Guard flunkies? But for a good and proper ace villain like Thanos to lose to a talking frog and a bunch of dogs? Ugh. And I recall some people complaining when Dan Slott took Squirrel Girl too far with having her beat Thanos (and Watcher act as ref). You can't mock a villain as useless and stupid in one story and then expect him to be taken seriously the next. Not if they're all one universe. I mean, that was Ord's problem in AXM. After Lockheed make him cry like a sissy and flee, I couldn't take him seriously.

It just sounds like a bad example. Like if Loki lost to Spider-Ham and the X-Babies in an in-continuity story. That'd be ridiculous.

 

[Franklin Richards]

Unless Mojo made it happen.



The Pet Avengers need to go up against the Red Ghost and his Super Apes.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

If he had to be resurrected, I would have rather it been for an established purpose in the cosmic line, not to fill the role of token villain in PET AVENGERS. Shouldn't they be fighting super-villain pets anyway?

You know that's not true about "silly fun". I read INCREDIBLE HERCULES, UMBRELLA ACADEMY, BOOSTER GOLD/BLUE BEETLE, and so on. I almost beg people to give UNCANNY X-MEN FIRST CLASS a try. I just don't think it was especially needed to undo a solid Giffen angle for the sole purpose of needing someone to job to the PET AVENGERS. Uncanny X-Men: FC doesn't do any harm to any current characters with it's comedy angles.

If you lose to an non humanoid animal, you suck. Those people Cosmo owns in group battles? They suck. And it usually works because that is the intention. Who better for Cosmo to own than Imperial Guard flunkies? But for a good and proper ace villain like Thanos to lose to a talking frog and a bunch of dogs? Ugh. And I recall some people complaining when Dan Slott took Squirrel Girl too far with having her beat Thanos (and Watcher act as ref). You can't mock a villain as useless and stupid in one story and then expect him to be taken seriously the next. Not if they're all one universe. I mean, that was Ord's problem in AXM. After Lockheed make him cry like a sissy and flee, I couldn't take him seriously.

It just sounds like a bad example. Like if Loki lost to Spider-Ham and the X-Babies in an in-continuity story. That'd be ridiculous.

Well, Thanos sucked to me in the first place, so I didn't mind. Thanos is himself little more than a silly plot device: He's Jim Starlin's power fantasy. The biggest, baddest, most powerfulest badassiest badass evarrr!!!11 The dude retconned every loss Thanos ever racked up against serious opponents like Thor and the Silver Surfer. Pendulum's just swinging the other way with Squirrel Girl and now the Pet Avengers.

 

[CaptainCanada]

Part II: Crossovers

Blackest Night #2

It's pretty much settled that the end of this event is going to bring back not only a lot of the characters who die in this series but some of the majors who died beforehand (thinking in particular of the Aqua-family, which is now basically just Mera...and weird Arthur II that nobody seems to want to acknowledge). We get a continuation of the Martian Manhunter fight from the last issue of GL, but which is tied into the main mini very well; if you were just reading this, I don't think you'd feel you'd have missed anything crucial. But the centrepiece is the Aqua-drama, which seems to be setting up Mera for an important role in the story; not bad, considering how the last few decades have been for her. Really, if that oft-talked-on Geoff Johns Aquaman project ever materializes, this is a good omen. Elsewhere, there's a nice scene between Jim and Barbara Gordon, though it's phrased in such a way as will almost certainly generate a bunch of online arguments about whether he's supposed to know she was Batgirl or not (he is, according to BoP, and I don't find anything here that really contradicts that). We also get what is presumably a key plot point: Dove's ability to resist the rings by being "at peace".

Uncanny X-Men #514

The big UXM/Dark Avengers crossover hits its fourth part (of six), and, while it's clearly going to have a big impact on the X-Men's continuity, there still doesn't feel like there's a huge amount of story here. That is, there's a fairly clear sequence of events, but not a whole lot in the way of twists or turns: anti-mutant riots break out, Osborn is called in and recruits Emma's crew, Cyclops straightaway starts plotting a takedown. There's not much to surprise here, apart from the first issue's reveal of Professor X's captivity (his and Beast's situation has been only minimally followed up on since then). Emma should be aware of this, so I'm not clear what sort of game she's playing here. Fraction's clearly a big Emma fan, so I'm not too worried about her ending up back as a muahahaha villain, but there's a real danger of her coming across as a dupe here. Nice art by the Dodsons, and next issue's cover suggests a fight between X-23 and Daken, which should be cool (go Laura!). Fraction's doing a pretty decent job of juggling the huge number of characters involved here. Decent stuff, not exceptional (my feelings for a lot of Fraction's work on this title so far).

 

[spiderbob]

DC

I've been buying a lot more DC comics as of late than Marvel, which is new for me, as I used to never touch the companies product and stay steadfastly loyal to Marvel and Marvel alone, save for the cartoons. The the DC animated series pirked my interest and 52 kept it, thus I've been steadily growing more of a DC collection.
Dunno know if it matters, but it's just something I noticed.

Wednesday Comics #1, #6

Okay, not really going to review these as I was late to the party in picking these up, and thus are missing issues 3 and 4, and I’d hate to review a story’s progression that I haven’t yet read. But it is an interesting format for comics and a fun little side item. I gotta say there are a few stories I’m not particularly interested in, like Supergirl’s issue with what seems to be flying pets, but it’s interesting for now, and there’s only six issues left.

Adventure Comics # 1/504

I’ll be honest, I didn’t get this issue because I’m a fan of Connor Kent. I mean, I like the character, but I’m not a buyer of Superman comics, though from what I hear they’re building multiple story plots together for something good in 2010/2011.

No, I got the issue because I have a problem. My name’s Spiderbob and I’m a completionist. I’m one of those guys who spends there money on comics because he feels… compelled to own the series. It’s why I bought all of Ultimatum and all of Secret Invasion and all of Countdown (though I had the right of mind to abandon Trinity half way), even though all of those were garbage to me. But yeah, I’ve got a problem. The second reason I got it was because of my second problem, I’m loyal to a fault. Maybe that’s not a good way of putting it. I feel, obligated to do things out of a twisted sense of responsibility or need. Thus I stick with Spider-Man comics because he’s my favorite hero, even when many of them fall short. I’ve been working on curing myself, but it’s a difficult thing to do for me.

In this case, my being a fan of Tim Drake (despite all the crap he’s been written through recently) is what caused me to get this. Since he’s going to show up in issue three to converse with his newly resurrected best friend, I figured I’d get the two issues that come before it so I’d know what’s going on. If I enjoy the ride after that, then maybe I’ll stick around.

The issue basically revolves around Conner re-establishing his roots in Smallville, both at home and school. He’s got a new look on life, appreciating what he took for granted earlier. Dying will do that to you. He then inquires into Luthor’s old house, trying to understand who his human “parent” is and how that affects him as a person. Conner’s still struggling with the two sides in him, Superman and Luthor, and looking to see how much of an influence these origins have on him. He voices a little of this to Superman who stops by to see what Conner’s been up to.

The issue ends with Conner completing his secret list from under his bed mattress of things that Superman and Luthor do, and checking off items on the list that he’s done, thus I guess, showing that he still feels Luthor’s genes have sway over his actions.

One of the things I really enjoyed about this issue was the very brief scenes of Conner and Bart returning to Titans Tower and the dialogue that follows of them destroying their statues that commemorated their deaths. I can’t wait to see those two appear in the Teen Titans series, as it would really help bring some life and interest back into the title, which has been needing it.

Oh, and there’s a swamp monster lurking in a Smallville swamp waiting for Superboy. Dunno what that’s about, but I’m sure it’ll being explained further in later issues.

Batman # 689

Nightwing continues his roll as the Dark Knight, taking down illegal gambling joints and putting out apartment fires. Two Face is continuing to gather more info on the new Batman and planting more rats to feed Dick information to lead him right where he wants him, and Penguin is feeling the pressure of Batman’s actions against him, relying on a shadowed over Black Mask to supply “distractions” to lure Batman away from Penguin’s trail.

This business agreement interested me, because from Battle of the Cowl, Black Mask was playing Two Face and Penguin against each other to take the head honcho role. So for him to suddenly provide himself and his goons at Penguin’s beck and call was … odd. It’s a vastly different approach than what he was previously employing, and if he has such influences as Penguin describes, then I’m curious as to why Penguin isn’t suspicious of Black Mask being the manipulator from before. He seems to be awfully trusting of the third party, especially when that third party is a powerful one, and when Penguin is being dependant upon that third party for help. That’s how mob bosses loose their seat as head; when they’ve got to rely on other forces to do the dirty work for them and can’t keep those other forces in check by themselves. What’s to stop those they’re dependant on from simply turning around and taking the power for themselves? It just seems like very poor planning on Penguin’s part, and even though I’m sure this is just a small set up for Daniels story that’s coming up, it still bothered me.

Another thing that bothers me is Dick’s portrayal as Batman. I get that he doesn’t want to try to be Bruce, he wants to be his own person, but he’s not displaying the intellect that I know he has. At the beginning of the arc, he established that he would take up the cowl to let Batman live on, and let the criminal underworld know that as well, to keep them in check with that knowledge. For this to work, however, he has to play the part, even to a degree. And smiling on camera is just stupid. It’s amateurish, and Dick’s should know better. I get that he’s him and not Bruce, but if he wants the bad guys to believe that the fearful original Batman is around and kicking, then he needs to act as such. I’m not saying he has to immerse himself in it, but showing such obvious signs of being not Bruce Batman is a great undermining to his efforts. He should know that and have planned for it, and not have to learn this lesson through the beating that Two Face is going to lay on him.

Regardless, I enjoyed it still and will be sticking with it for the foreseeable future. I liked Bagley’s art, very reminiscent of Ult. Spider-Man, which isn’t a bad thing for a “lighter” Batman.

Red Robin # 3

For twenty two pages worth reading material, not a lot happened to progress the story. Tim finds a clue he has to … liberate from a museum, and a ridiculous – hero, if you can call him that – proclaiming himself as the “Wild Huntsman” busts in to stop him. Tim then has to juggle between running of with the evidence, fighting the Huntsman, and keeping Ra’s goons from killing the guards and the Huntsman, who have now been instructed to help Timothy with his search.

Meanwhile, League of Assassin members are still being picked off like flies by various killers all using spider themes, leading up to a future plot I’m sure.

The issue also flashbacks to before Tim left for his global mission. He converses with Cassie at Bruce’s grave, and she wants to be there for Tim to help him through his grief and troubles, like a good friend should. It’ll be interesting to see what Connor has to say about Tim and Cassie becoming such “good friends” while he was away, but that’s for a later time I’m sure. Probably Adventure Comics #3.

Anyways, Tim describes how he feels responsible for the death of Anarky’s siblings and those Jason Todd killed on his rampage as Evil Batman since Tim let him escape jail. Yeah, more guilt ridden angst, because Tim certainly doesn’t have enough of that. An interesting tidbit that got me was that Tim is shown to have been submitted to the Anti-Life equation during Darkseid’s attacks in Final Crisis. It was nice to see what happened to the Boy Wonder during that time, as it was just left unknowns, though it just adds to another hardship in the long list of crappy things that has befallen Tim in the last few years.

Back to the story, Cassie is unable to share Tim’s sentiments with Bruce really being alive, linking the issue to her grief over Connor in 52, and this opts Tim to leave her. She then calls Dick for help in reaching Tim, which leads me to believe that the advertised fight between Tim and Dick will be a flashback one set before Tim leaves, and not during his ventures.

The story ends with Tim being approached by the same three goons, offering their obedience to him and his cause so long as Ra’s orders it, as he wants Tim to learn the truth about Bruce’s fate and share it with him. He probably also wants Tim to help him stop the killers hunting his men down, but that’s probably for later.


Blackest Night Tie-In Reviews Later

 

[Dread]

Unless Mojo made it happen.



The Pet Avengers need to go up against the Red Ghost and his Super Apes.

See, that I would be fine with.

Well, Thanos sucked to me in the first place, so I didn't mind. Thanos is himself little more than a silly plot device: He's Jim Starlin's power fantasy. The biggest, baddest, most powerfulest badassiest badass evarrr!!!11 The dude retconned every loss Thanos ever racked up against serious opponents like Thor and the Silver Surfer. Pendulum's just swinging the other way with Squirrel Girl and now the Pet Avengers.

I usually took Thanos seriously. Now, I'm not saying the PET AVENGERS couldn't fight real villains. There are plenty of villains, especially some lessor animal themed ones like Black Talon, who deserve to lose to a bunch of animals. Thanos, whether Starlin wrote him or not, is or was intended to be a big league villain, the kind of villains Thor and Silver Surfer should fight. But who is going to bother if you can get a few house-pets to do it? It's an unworthy resurrection. But to each their own I guess. I just am irritated because there are so many villains out there in the back pages of Marvel Handbooks who ARE lame and could easily be fodder for Pet Avengers, and instead they choose someone who is supposed to be a serious threat. It's like Magneto being beaten by the Muppet Babies (who Marvel used to publish under STAR COMICS in the 80's). Could anyone take him seriously again afterwards?

My pick for most deserving villain would have been Eye-Scream, the mutant mercenary who transforms into ice cream.

 

[Franklin Richards]

God... wasn't he in that Clown book for a while? What was his name? I can't member.

 

[Dread]

God... wasn't he in that Clown book for a while? What was his name? I can't member.

Obnoxio the Clown. And "that clown book for a while" was exactly one issue circa 1983.

But, Eye-Scream is prime for a come-back for another loser defeat. Why wasn't he depowered on M-Day?

 

[Franklin Richards]

Didn't he have a team up with Kitty Pryde in another issue?

 

[Dread]

Not that I recall.

 

[Franklin Richards]

This is what I was thinking of.

I guess I just saw him again in Crazy Magazine.

 

[Doc Destruction]

heh I have that book.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

See, that I would be fine with.



I usually took Thanos seriously. Now, I'm not saying the PET AVENGERS couldn't fight real villains. There are plenty of villains, especially some lessor animal themed ones like Black Talon, who deserve to lose to a bunch of animals. Thanos, whether Starlin wrote him or not, is or was intended to be a big league villain, the kind of villains Thor and Silver Surfer should fight. But who is going to bother if you can get a few house-pets to do it? It's an unworthy resurrection. But to each their own I guess. I just am irritated because there are so many villains out there in the back pages of Marvel Handbooks who ARE lame and could easily be fodder for Pet Avengers, and instead they choose someone who is supposed to be a serious threat. It's like Magneto being beaten by the Muppet Babies (who Marvel used to publish under STAR COMICS in the 80's). Could anyone take him seriously again afterwards?

My pick for most deserving villain would have been Eye-Scream, the mutant mercenary who transforms into ice cream.

Your argument doesn't really make sense because most heroes couldn't beat Thanos the way the Pets do. Like I said in my thoughts on the issue, it was logical how they took him down. You're just raging against the simple principle that animals beat Thanos, period. Doesn't matter how, since you don't know that because you didn't read the book. You see Thanos as a big villain and the Pets as stupid, ergo there's no possible way they could ever beat him, even with a universe-spanning teleporter like Lockjaw and the power of all of the Infinity Gems. I mean, really, if we got Blink and gave her the Infinity Gauntlet, would you be having this issue? I don't think so. Your mind just keeps tripping over this "Pet Avengers = dumb" thing and ignoring everything else. Is Pet Avengers silly fun? Of course. But in the case of this mini, it was silly fun that basically made sense. I, for one, will have no problem taking Thanos seriously again once he gets back to the main universe. He got beaten by an Infinity-Gauntlet-powered ring-out. Not much shame in that.