Corrupt A Wish - Part 2

[greenrage36]

Granted, but you're also required to get drunk every night ala Animal House-style, so you're expelled in no time flat...



I wish someone else would go grocery shopping for me today

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but all they buy is Cheez-It's and Diet Slice.


I wish for unlimited lap dances with super hot strippers.

 

[Lord]

Granted, but you have to stay there forever until you die from not eating and they continue to make lap dances on your corpse as they also grow old and die, but they old decrepit corpses continue their lap dances as your bodies remain there doing the same thing for all eternity.

I wish George Lucas made an Episode VII-IX (for a mater of fact i liked the prequels)

 

[Schlosser85]

Granted, but they turn out horrible and he has Han and Leia break up and Luke dies and it ruins all of the other movies for you and you can never enjoy Star Wars again.

I wish for as many magic wishes as I want.

 

[Lord]

Granted, but as you get any wish you want, for each one you make that want you will get one that would never want.

I wish Heath Ledger came back from the grave to be the joker once more.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, he's a Zombie Joker and eats your face.


I wish I could travel to a parallel universe where I am a woman and have sex with myself.

 

[AxlsAppetite]

Granted, but she's into some rough stuff that leaves you sore in the bum.

I wish a $100 bill appeared out of thin air for me whenever I snapped my fingers.

 

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,I come by and slice both hands off of you.


I wish for world peace.

 

[Spidermatrix53]

Granted, and all it took was thermonuclear war.

I wish my car was fixed.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but she's into some rough stuff that leaves you sore in the bum.

Clearly you don't know me very well, I might like that.

Granted, and all it took was thermonuclear war.

I wish my car was fixed.

Granted, shortly after you pick it up though, you get car jacked.


I wish I was the greatest man in the world.

 

[Sensi]

You will be but only you will know it.

I wish I could have fun on the 4th of July

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but the rest of your life will pretty much suck after the 4th of July.



I wish for a Green lantern Ring.

 

[Spidermatrix53]

Granted, but you get creativity block and can only make really stupid and useless things out of it.


I wish I had something to eat.

 

[Sensi]

You will get something straight out of the bubble gum machine

I wish I could lay in a hammock next to the ocean.

 

[Spidermatrix53]

You can, but it's hurricane season.


I wish I didn't have to pee ever again.

 

[Sensi]

You won't you will just turn yellow

I wish I could go visit friends.

 

[Spidermatrix53]

You will, but you are trapped at their place forever until you are finally forced to realized just how annoying and stupid you really think they are.


I wish I had a date with Carey Mulligan.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted...well if you consider having to take care of their trash as a 'date'...


I wish someone would make some awesome home-made wine for me right now...

 

[Duke]

Granted, but someone spikes it with poison, thereby killing you. Enjoy!!




I wish I could visit all of the east coast of the U.S.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted...you're on your way now via hurricane...have a nice trip - see ya next fall, etc.....


I wish my car would magically wash itself tomorrow

 

[Duke]

Granted, Your car is sparkling & irrisistible, so someone decides to steal it, leaving you with no car.



I wish I had 100 million dollars, tax free

 

[greenrage36]

Granted, and yes..it IS tax-free..however error-free..nope! As soon as it is recorded within your bank account a newbie teller accidentally erases any trace of its existence...



Ok...slight change on my earlier wish: I wish I had a bevy of hotties in daisy dukes washing my car tomorrow while I sit in the lawn next to 'em sippin' some suds...

 

[Duke]

Granted, BUT you drink too much, that you decide to sleep with all of the hotties causing you a sexually transmitted disease. Enjoy!!




I wish I could solve any problems by just a mere thought or the snapping of my fingers.

 

[Anubis]

Granted, but you lose your thumbs in a terrible garbage disposal accident.



I wish I could breath underwater.

 

[greenrage36]

Granted..you're a go**amn fish...


I wish I had one of the previously-mentioned car-washing hotties stop washing my car and fan me while I watch them work...