Corrupt A Wish - Part 2

[MissMarvelous]

Gotta give it to you... yeap.

I wish I hadn't cut my eyelashes when I was "fixing" my fringe.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Granted, your eyelashes are restored, but now you have aggressive split ends.

I wish small animals were immune to disease.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Rats are included so the world is now overpopulated with all rats, hope you are proud of yourself.

I wish I could own a whole continent, my rules.

 

[NHawk19]

Granted. There's a major earthquake which creates a new continent that measures 4'x4'. It's yours. But the rest of the countries of the world declare war on you thinking you somehow caused the earthquake. Which you did my making this wish. you are captured, tried, and put in prison but hey you had a continent for about a week so there's that.

I wish for a 2020 corvette.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Granted, enjoy your brand new 1:64 scale model of the 2020 Corvette, still in the original packaging.

I wish all cars ran on garbage loaded into a Mr. Fusion reactor drive.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, but all cars suddenly shrink in size and nobody can fit into any of them.

I wish for a universal language translator enabling me to understand and speak all languages.

 

[MissMarvelous]

It's called "Google translator". Granted!

I wish for a humongous pineapple and ham pizza.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, except the offering is grilled pineapple slices topped with cheese and ham.

I wish for marshmallows and whipped cream.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

And now a very messy Stay Puft Marshmallow Giant is running amok downtown.

I wish to be able to pop people's tires whilst driving on the highway...with my mind.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, although when tyres pop, vehicles spiral out of control killing innocent pedestrians, other drivers, wildlife, and eventually yourself.

I wish for Jurassic Park to be a real place, with real Dinosaurs of which are genetically modified to not try and eat me.

 

[MissMarvelous]

That's too cruel for the dinos, but... ok, granted. They won't "try and eat you", but they would make you their b1tch.

I wish I could travel back in time and go to a Queen concert. And then, back to 2019 with no scratches or physical changes.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, except because of your intervention with the timeline, you are the only person to even remember them. To everyone else, Queen never even existed. Instead it was a band called Princess who dressed up in glitter and rode around on unicorn heads whilst sucking ice lollies and giving away free candyfloss to children over 5, and seniors over 65.

I wish to meet Jesus - in the present.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Granted, as you're going about your daily routine your heart seizes up and you die and next you know you're face to face standing tall before the Man.

I wish I could "save" my life game, copy this character over to a new server and apply a money cheat code.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, as you're going about your daily routine your heart seizes up and you die and next you know you're face to face standing tall before the Man.

You assume I’d be going up.

I wish I could "save" my life game, copy this character over to a new server and apply a money cheat code.

Granted, except the cheat code interferes with all other codes and glitches start popping up all over the place. You start to malfunction, as your life falls apart.


I wish there were aliens in Area 51.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

You assume I’d be going up.

Everyone goes to the Man for processing, have fun in the Good Place, kappa.

I wish there were aliens in Area 51.

No need for a wish, there are actual aliens but not in Area 51, they're at a Black Site in the Sahara Desert run by a subdivision of the NSA funded by several multinational corporations that make billions reverse engineering their tech. My grandfather was an Air Force driver for a General in 1945-51 and saw some real outlandish stuff that he wouldn't describe but I could tell by his eyes it was the real deal.

I wish NASA would perfect FTL travel in my lifetime.

 

[LightDaggers]

Sorry, their ship blew up in the process of going FTL.

I wish I had a bagel.

 

[MissMarvelous]

Granted, now you have to give it to me.

I wish I had energy enough to cook in advance for my lunch.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, except now you've cooked and ate too much you can barely move.

I wish lettuce tasted like chocolate.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Granted, the rabbit population skyrockets, all small rodents go insane with chocolate lust and ravage all vegetation, in months the Earth is a barren wasteland.

I wish countries could be equalized to be perfectly diverse in proportion to population density.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, except some countries then end up with jealous of others which somehow results in World War 3 and the end of humanity.

I wish cake, biscuits and chocolate was healthy.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Granted, and now bakeries go into overdrive making those things depleting the world's sugar supply critically. In an effort to boost sugar cane growth scientists engineer a strain of super cane that mutates giant pandas into Kaiju wrecking machines destroying the Earth.

I wish that whoever needs this wish more than me will have it.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, except because it's a borrowed/stolen wish, it doesn't work for them and actually reverses their wish catastrophically. Somehow, as a result, the Earth implodes.

I wish gold pressed latinium was a real currency.

 

[Rozen Thorne]

Granted, and now we've got Ferengi all over the place, and we thought we had an immigrant problem before, oy vey.

I wish I knew where all the other Earth-like planets were out in the Universe and had a means of getting to at least one.

 

[Flash525]

Granted, except they’re all inhabited by various other advanced civilisations that enjoy eating human flesh for breakfast.

I wish I had more enthusiasm this morning...

 

[MissMarvelous]

Uh, buddy... now you are unstoppable and people hate you for your HIGH enthusiasm. Chill, dude.

I wish I could see the face behind every user of this forum and some other ones.