Crap that boggles my mind!!!!

[The Incredible Hulk]

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

 

[Crooklyn]

LMAO, these are more like questions you have when you're high.

But shiiiiit, since I read 'em, I'd like to know the answers too.

 

[Knives122]

The answer to all of your questions is: 42

 

[tzarinna]

Thanks I needed that. *giggles*

 

[StorminNorman]

Can you cry under water?

Yes, your body would still release tears

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If your murder has political motives, then you were assassinated


Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

taxes

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

no, you have shed your physical body. It is why someone who is cremated does not appear in heaven as ash

What disease did cured ham actually have?
[SIZE=-1]Tumorsyphilisitisosis[/SIZE]

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

The military had nothing invested in luggage modification

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Because babies do not worry about stressful **** when they do sleep

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

You have a new view on things from far above all

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

To make you feel more comfortable. Your perception of having more privacy makes you feel more at ease

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Because everything else about chicks doesn't make sense either

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
For thicker pieces of toastable goodness - like Bagels

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Because people do care, they do

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes, but will he get in trouble for it?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy is a more highly advanced dog, Pluto hasn't even discovered the wheel

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Its the principle of the matter

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Babies

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Since morality comes from ones own values, then yes - morality for morons would come from morons

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes, Vanilla Ice made Twinkle Twinkle

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
You're good

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Because Asteroid-Man is a waste of human life

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Have you smelt your breath?

There ya go.

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Is it, Morg?

 

[Majik1387]

Can you cry under water?

Yes.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Pretty important.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

It's a tip.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Depends on which Heaven you go to.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

I've never even heard of what you're talking about.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because back then, not everyone was so lazy to not carry their bags

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Maybe a lot of them woke up every two hours. Which brings me to ask: How can you sleep like a log when a log has no eyes?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

According to Law and Order: SVU, yes it is.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

The same reason we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Cuz they're idiots

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Don't know where you go for checkups but doctors won't always have to see you naked.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?[/qujote]
Because they are

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Because they need to so the companies can make money to alter them.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Because if a dog named Bingo has a song about his name, anything can have a song.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Sure. Why not?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy has "intellectual" brain power.

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

He has to cook all his food himself. He's very germaphobic when it comes to food.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Babies' souls

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Yes.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes. I've told people and they look at me like I'm stupid for recognizing the same tune.

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I didn't. I was singing a song from Hairspray.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Because no one wants to call it a sphincteroid.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Not all dogs.

 

[fu manchu]

Here is my comments on some of your questions.

Can you cry under water? I don't know but I like to see someone try!

What disease did cured ham actually have?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? of course. What else would they call it? A deafening?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Do you really want to have your Doctor just watch you change?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Decent is the key word there!


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Its a damn cartoon!


If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? Same thing ---> Its a damn cartoon! Plus, it wouldn't be as entertaining if he just bought his dinner


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? No.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?t: Because I wanted to make sure they didn't have the same tune. Although, I notice that some people say they do have the same tune. Maybe I'm just singing out of tune.

You really should not take any of these needless questions seriously, it will only mess you up.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

LOL good answers....

 

[PhotoJones]

Can dolphins/orcas live in fresh water?

there are some species of dolphins that live in fresh water. salt water dolphins can, but prefer not to.

not sure about orcas...

 

[heypapajinx]

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Because everything else about chicks doesn't make sense either

i deem this to be fact.

 

[Mr. Smash'n Bash]

this boggles my mind.

 

[heypapajinx]

this boggles my mind.

what does?
a watermelon with a baby inside.
i saw that on the cover of the National Inquirer last month so it's clealy true.
that paper only posts facts.

 

[Assassin]

Is it, Morg?

I was going to say that but he would have banned me, but then again he i sthe Hypes resident deaf guy. :heart:

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

this boggles my mind.

I just HATE it when I find infants in my fruit

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Can you cry under water? Yes.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
You have to be someone in the public eye, like John Lennon or a City Councilman/woman.


Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
One penny is when YOU want to know the thoughts. You're offerring a profit to the person to make it worth their while to give you something that they might not just give for free.

But when I "give you my two cents worth", you didn't ask to hear my thoughts, so I'm offerring more to pay you for your time.


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Your clothes do not have their own soul and therefore they stay and rot on Earth.
It's not your body that's going to Heaven. It's your intangible soul.
Clothes are tangible.

That's why those supposed pictures of a Civil War ghost, where it's wearing a Rebel uniform and holding a spirit rifle, are ******ed.


What disease did cured ham actually have?
They're curing it from it's tendency to rot while they age it.
They're also curing it from it's lack of saltiness and sweetness.



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Luggage with built in wheels was on the market as early as 1913.


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
It's more of a reference to how cute they looked while they slept.


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes. The other people involved, such as the judge, will still be hearing the details of the case.
If the judge is deaf, it is called a signing.


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because a movie screen is wide and expansive, like an ocean that the actors are "in".
But a movie is like a little box there in your room, and you'd sound stupid as if you really thought there were little people "in" the box.


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because you have a better view to see many faraway sites from one position.
If you were in downtown Seattle, you couldn't see the B+O coffee shop, because you'd be surrounded by buildings.
But from the Space Needle, you could see it.
It's the same reason a fort has a watch tower to see things on the horizon rather than sending a scout out to the horizon to look around and then come back with a report.


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
For many of them, the act of "stripping" is more of a turn on than actually seeing the naked human body.


Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
That's weird.


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Some people prefer burnt toast.
When I worked at a movie theater I'd always burn some popcorn after the movies all went in.


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
It's valid for the speaker in the song to express his apathy about Jimmy.
I could say, "I don't care if you want to have your friends over for poker night this weekend. I'll be out of town."


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
No. The corpse is considered to be "cargo".


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Pluto started out as Mickey Mouse's pet dog, while Goofy started out the same as Mickey Mouse...an anthropomorphised "Dog".
I'm not certain, but I believe Goofy speaks English, but Pluto does not, because Pluto is just a "DOG" dog, not a "MAN" dog.


If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
It had become personal, like in "Moby Dick".


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Water, Mineral oil, Beeswax, Isopropyle Myristate, Glyceryl Stearate SE, Glycerin, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Myristyi Myristate, Sorbitan Stearate, Sodium Borate, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Disodium EDTA, BHT, Fragrance, Tocopheryl Acetate.


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Not as a rule.


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes. Just play them both on a piano.


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't.


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
The superficial similarity in the words doesn't indicate a common meaning.


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Yes. It's because of the focused nature of the blowing.
You could stand under a shower head, being drenched with water, and find it pleasurable.
But if I shot a steady, tiny stream at your forehead for the same duration, it would probably drive you nuts.
The nerves can't keep up enough to differentiate all the small streams of water during a shower, so they give up and just accept it as a generalized experience.
But when they're allowed to focus on one specific area of stimulation, the irritating aspects of that stimulation come to the foreground with clarity.

 

[Master Chief]

lol, Wil, you're the king.

 

[Dope Nose]

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

you're IN a movie.
you're IN a TV show.

you're ON TV.
you're ON the big/silver screen.

 

[Tyrinus]

What disease did cured ham actually have?

A severe case of delicious.