OverMyHead
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- Nov 23, 2006
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In Ghost Rider, the all-powerful Mephistopholes, Lord of the Damned, takes earthly form as:
A) a devilishly handsome man
B) a beautiful and dangerously seductive woman
C) an aging, decrepit geezer with a receding hairline and a raspy voice
Which of these characters regularly administers hellish punishment as a result of selling his soul to Satan?
A) Johnny Blaze
B) Blackheart
C) Avi Arad
Young Johnny Blaze and Mephistopholes are shown circling each other in a staredown early in the film. Which of these other projects also feature a young, idealistic hero squaring off against his cynical, cranky, balding nemesis while exchanging cheesy one-liners?
A) Revenge of the Sith
B) Sanford and Son
C) All in the Family
D) all of the above
Johnny likes eating jelly beans from martini glasses and motivating himself by listening to the Carpenters while talking to himself in the mirror. This is...
A) not exactly what the creator of Johnny Blaze had in mind for the character
B) what passes for "characterization" in Marvel film adaptations
C) actually better than anything Cage was shown doing in Captain Corelli's Mandolin
At various times, characters in Ghost Rider stick their forefinger out and cry out, "You!" This is:
A) an attempt to call out another character onscreen
B) dramatic tension, elementary-school play-style
C) another handy tool from the Mark Steven Johnson Book of Film Studies
At the beginning of the film, Roxy and Johnny are depicted as teenagers of similar age. Later, Johnny appears:
A) to be about 15 years older than Roxy
B) floating alongside Roxy's news van in the most phony cycle-riding sequence of any film in the last 30 years
C) virtually comatose-- like most of Cage's characters
When wearing any sort of leather garment at all, Nic Cage...
A) plays Nic Cage
B) plays Nic Cage impersonating Elvis
C) plays the guy who used to be married to Elvis' daughter
In Ghost Rider, Texas is clearly...
A) Australia
B) home to some of the worst news coverage in the country
C) ashamed to be associated with anything related to this film
Early in the film, Johnny Blaze shows disinterest when warned by his management crew that he's been living dangerously and his luck will run out sometime. This scene...
A) follows an accident Blaze survived after a jump gone bad
B) is too long, like the rest of the film
C) is actual footage from a meeting between Nic Cage and his agents about starring in this film
Eva Mendez' acting skills...
A) consist mostly of batting her eyelashes, bobbing her head and shifting her shoulders
B) are best utilized when the camera is focused on her cleavage
C) cause her to stuggle mightily when required to espouse complex lines such as: "On fire?"
D) make Jessica Alba's line delivery in Fantastic Four look like Dame Judi Densch
E) all of the above
In Ghost Rider, evil is symbolized by...
A) Streetlamp bulbs exploding
B) Trenchcoats
C) Phantom shark-tooth grins which appear over one's face
D) $44 million in opening-weekend ticket sales
The low point of GR's special effects was...
A) Streetlights which explode whenever bad guys come around
B) Wes Bentley's pancake makeup
C) The "Penance Stare", which looked like MSJ threw his family album on a charcoal grill and filmed the whole thing
After a night as Ghost Rider, Johnny Blaze wakes up confused and shirtless in Sam Elliot's home. Sitting behind Cage, Sam tells him, "It wasn't a dream. It happened last night. And it's gonna happen again." This is...
A) sage advice from someone highly familiar with the occult
B) another grizzled-old-saddlebaggy-veteran performance from Sam Elliot
C) the most unintentionally hilarious moment in a movie filled with unintentional hilarity
Less than ten seconds after being thrown in a county jail cell, Johnny Blaze is swarmed by a violent mob of prisoners who violently attack him just for being a stunt rider. This scene is...
A) bizarre, even for this movie
B) meant to be serious, but is really, really funny
C) a fairly accurate representation of the justice system in Texas
Ghost Rider whistles...
A) to summon his mystic Hellcycle
B) at the sight of Eva Mendez' remarkable ass
C) at the realization of how truly awful his movie is
Roxanne stands between Ghost Rider and an entire armed police force in a scene which was...
A) ripped off from An American Werewolf in London
B) ripped off from Hulk
C) terrible either way
In the same scene, Roxy is shown standing directly in the line of fire. When the police fire a hail of bullets at GR, she mysteriously disappears. Next, she is shown standing in the exact same spot. This is...
A) a directing snafu
B) an editing faux pas
C) the moment where Mendez stepped away in order to fire her agent
D) the most logical sequence of events in the entire movie
The sight of eyes melting and a face disintegrating depicts...
A) Johnny Blaze transforming Ghost Rider
B) an unfortunate victim of Blackheart's soul-stealing touch
C) any given audience member five minutes into the movie
When looking directly into Ghost Rider's eyes, the "Penance Stare" causes the victim to see...
A) badly composited fire
B) the Declaration of Independence
C) what appears to be Anna Paquin as Rogue
D) fat, bald guys
E) all of the above
At one point, Ghost Rider's skull is shown with no flame burning at all. This indicates...
A) he's unconscious
B) only one dollar and twenty-nine cents was left from the $110 million-dollar budget
C) he went to Britney Spears' hairstylist
Rampant, evil cackling can be heard from...
A) Mephistopholes
B) Mark Steven Johnson, while cashing his second Marvel paycheck
C) people who avoided seeing Ghost Rider
"Positive" reviews like "It was fun. Keep your expectations low" and "It was comic-book-y" are...
A) an attempt to rationalize a colossal waste of time and money
B) a sign that even mild critical thinking has gone the way of the Ford Pinto
C) a sad commentary on the lowest-common-denominator state of modern day cinema and its audience
D) actually "backhanded compliments"
E) a really nasty thing to say about comic books
Ghost Rider is:
A) better than Elektra but worse than Daredevil
B) better than Daredevil but worse than DD: The Director's Cut
C) better than the Dolph Lundgren Punisher but worse than the Thomas Jane Punisher
D) better than Howard the Duck but worse than not being made at all
Some message-boarders have suggested that, whatever its faults may be, GR should or may be a nominee in the Best Visual FX category for the 2008 Oscars. These poor bastards are...
A) completely unaware that no academy voter will even remember the name "Ghost Rider" by next Friday
B) unfamiliar with small, little-known films like "Transformers", "Spider-Man 3", and "Harry Potter"
C) the guys that left to take a piss while crappy CGI helicopters made their way into a crappy CGI football stadium
D) total idiots
Watching Ghost Rider is equivalent to:
A) eating sixteen packs of candy cigarettes while riding the Goliath at Six Flags
B) hunting quail with Vice-President Dick Cheney while wearing a chicken suit
C) a two-hour "Penance Stare"
Avi Arad likes to tout Marvel's stable of "over 5,000 characters" to adapt onscreen. Of the remaining lineup, Mark Steven Johnson should next be allowed to adapt onscreen...
A) Spitfire and the Troubleshooters
B) Forbush Man
C) Spragg, the Living Hill
D) Ghost Rider: The Official Comic of the Movie
---
Finished? Well, the answers are irrelevant. If you made it this far, you already spent more quality time thinking about Ghost Rider than the production team did. You lose!
A) a devilishly handsome man
B) a beautiful and dangerously seductive woman
C) an aging, decrepit geezer with a receding hairline and a raspy voice
Which of these characters regularly administers hellish punishment as a result of selling his soul to Satan?
A) Johnny Blaze
B) Blackheart
C) Avi Arad
Young Johnny Blaze and Mephistopholes are shown circling each other in a staredown early in the film. Which of these other projects also feature a young, idealistic hero squaring off against his cynical, cranky, balding nemesis while exchanging cheesy one-liners?
A) Revenge of the Sith
B) Sanford and Son
C) All in the Family
D) all of the above
Johnny likes eating jelly beans from martini glasses and motivating himself by listening to the Carpenters while talking to himself in the mirror. This is...
A) not exactly what the creator of Johnny Blaze had in mind for the character
B) what passes for "characterization" in Marvel film adaptations
C) actually better than anything Cage was shown doing in Captain Corelli's Mandolin
At various times, characters in Ghost Rider stick their forefinger out and cry out, "You!" This is:
A) an attempt to call out another character onscreen
B) dramatic tension, elementary-school play-style
C) another handy tool from the Mark Steven Johnson Book of Film Studies
At the beginning of the film, Roxy and Johnny are depicted as teenagers of similar age. Later, Johnny appears:
A) to be about 15 years older than Roxy
B) floating alongside Roxy's news van in the most phony cycle-riding sequence of any film in the last 30 years
C) virtually comatose-- like most of Cage's characters
When wearing any sort of leather garment at all, Nic Cage...
A) plays Nic Cage
B) plays Nic Cage impersonating Elvis
C) plays the guy who used to be married to Elvis' daughter
In Ghost Rider, Texas is clearly...
A) Australia
B) home to some of the worst news coverage in the country
C) ashamed to be associated with anything related to this film
Early in the film, Johnny Blaze shows disinterest when warned by his management crew that he's been living dangerously and his luck will run out sometime. This scene...
A) follows an accident Blaze survived after a jump gone bad
B) is too long, like the rest of the film
C) is actual footage from a meeting between Nic Cage and his agents about starring in this film
Eva Mendez' acting skills...
A) consist mostly of batting her eyelashes, bobbing her head and shifting her shoulders
B) are best utilized when the camera is focused on her cleavage
C) cause her to stuggle mightily when required to espouse complex lines such as: "On fire?"
D) make Jessica Alba's line delivery in Fantastic Four look like Dame Judi Densch
E) all of the above
In Ghost Rider, evil is symbolized by...
A) Streetlamp bulbs exploding
B) Trenchcoats
C) Phantom shark-tooth grins which appear over one's face
D) $44 million in opening-weekend ticket sales
The low point of GR's special effects was...
A) Streetlights which explode whenever bad guys come around
B) Wes Bentley's pancake makeup
C) The "Penance Stare", which looked like MSJ threw his family album on a charcoal grill and filmed the whole thing
After a night as Ghost Rider, Johnny Blaze wakes up confused and shirtless in Sam Elliot's home. Sitting behind Cage, Sam tells him, "It wasn't a dream. It happened last night. And it's gonna happen again." This is...
A) sage advice from someone highly familiar with the occult
B) another grizzled-old-saddlebaggy-veteran performance from Sam Elliot
C) the most unintentionally hilarious moment in a movie filled with unintentional hilarity
Less than ten seconds after being thrown in a county jail cell, Johnny Blaze is swarmed by a violent mob of prisoners who violently attack him just for being a stunt rider. This scene is...
A) bizarre, even for this movie
B) meant to be serious, but is really, really funny
C) a fairly accurate representation of the justice system in Texas
Ghost Rider whistles...
A) to summon his mystic Hellcycle
B) at the sight of Eva Mendez' remarkable ass
C) at the realization of how truly awful his movie is
Roxanne stands between Ghost Rider and an entire armed police force in a scene which was...
A) ripped off from An American Werewolf in London
B) ripped off from Hulk
C) terrible either way
In the same scene, Roxy is shown standing directly in the line of fire. When the police fire a hail of bullets at GR, she mysteriously disappears. Next, she is shown standing in the exact same spot. This is...
A) a directing snafu
B) an editing faux pas
C) the moment where Mendez stepped away in order to fire her agent
D) the most logical sequence of events in the entire movie
The sight of eyes melting and a face disintegrating depicts...
A) Johnny Blaze transforming Ghost Rider
B) an unfortunate victim of Blackheart's soul-stealing touch
C) any given audience member five minutes into the movie
When looking directly into Ghost Rider's eyes, the "Penance Stare" causes the victim to see...
A) badly composited fire
B) the Declaration of Independence
C) what appears to be Anna Paquin as Rogue
D) fat, bald guys
E) all of the above
At one point, Ghost Rider's skull is shown with no flame burning at all. This indicates...
A) he's unconscious
B) only one dollar and twenty-nine cents was left from the $110 million-dollar budget
C) he went to Britney Spears' hairstylist
Rampant, evil cackling can be heard from...
A) Mephistopholes
B) Mark Steven Johnson, while cashing his second Marvel paycheck
C) people who avoided seeing Ghost Rider
"Positive" reviews like "It was fun. Keep your expectations low" and "It was comic-book-y" are...
A) an attempt to rationalize a colossal waste of time and money
B) a sign that even mild critical thinking has gone the way of the Ford Pinto
C) a sad commentary on the lowest-common-denominator state of modern day cinema and its audience
D) actually "backhanded compliments"
E) a really nasty thing to say about comic books
Ghost Rider is:
A) better than Elektra but worse than Daredevil
B) better than Daredevil but worse than DD: The Director's Cut
C) better than the Dolph Lundgren Punisher but worse than the Thomas Jane Punisher
D) better than Howard the Duck but worse than not being made at all
Some message-boarders have suggested that, whatever its faults may be, GR should or may be a nominee in the Best Visual FX category for the 2008 Oscars. These poor bastards are...
A) completely unaware that no academy voter will even remember the name "Ghost Rider" by next Friday
B) unfamiliar with small, little-known films like "Transformers", "Spider-Man 3", and "Harry Potter"
C) the guys that left to take a piss while crappy CGI helicopters made their way into a crappy CGI football stadium
D) total idiots
Watching Ghost Rider is equivalent to:
A) eating sixteen packs of candy cigarettes while riding the Goliath at Six Flags
B) hunting quail with Vice-President Dick Cheney while wearing a chicken suit
C) a two-hour "Penance Stare"
Avi Arad likes to tout Marvel's stable of "over 5,000 characters" to adapt onscreen. Of the remaining lineup, Mark Steven Johnson should next be allowed to adapt onscreen...
A) Spitfire and the Troubleshooters
B) Forbush Man
C) Spragg, the Living Hill
D) Ghost Rider: The Official Comic of the Movie
---
Finished? Well, the answers are irrelevant. If you made it this far, you already spent more quality time thinking about Ghost Rider than the production team did. You lose!
t:
