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Harley & Ivy


Oct 21, 2014
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I know I’ve retired from short-stories, but I wanted to return for a New Year’s customs-exposition on Gotham City’s most dangerous female devils, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. After all, what is DC Comics’ Batman without the deadly adversarial death-threats of Harley and Ivy?

Thanks for reading,


Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy had become Batman's most vile female nemeses in the crime-beset Gotham City in the new millennium. Harley and Ivy were both respected scientists before turning to a life of maniacal crime and terrorism in the American city. Harley was formerly Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a criminal psychologist at Arkham Asylum who was seduced by the Batman-nemesis Joker into becoming the anarchist Harley Quinn, a clown-costumed urban hellraiser. Ivy was formerly the respected Gotham Arboretum botanist Dr. Pamela Isely until a terrible eco-accident had a poisonous 'power' injected into her body, enabling her to release venom from her lips and fingers. Isely went mad and became the Gotham eco-terrorist Poison Ivy.

Harley and Ivy were not necessarily friends or allies, but they recently decided to team-up to make Batman's life a living hell! They wanted to uncover the worldly identity of Batman, who was considered Gotham's heroic masked and mysterious crime-fighting vigilante, a real hero who'd helped various criminally-insane maniacs and terrorists such as Scarecrow (a fear-toxin wielding masked ghoul) and Penguin (a deformed sewer-dwelling crimelord) be incarcerated by police and placed in Arkham Asylum. No one knew Batman was actually the Gotham City socialite-businessman Bruce Wayne, a man who’d used his incredible inherited wealth to make his capitalist-company, Wayne Industries, a symbol of democratic achievement!

Bruce Wayne’s parents were murdered when he was a young boy. This severely scarred Bruce psychologically, compelling him to become an independent crime-fighting masked vigilante in Gotham City named ‘Batman’ (a caped hero costumed like a flying-bat!). Batman often works alongside the Gotham police commissioner Jim Gordon, providing him insights and tips into the mannerisms and methods and motivations of the city’s most lethal criminally-insane maniacs like Joker and Scarecrow. Jim Gordon was very concerned that Batman was threatened by the intentions of the two female nemeses Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, who may have held aspirations to destroy Wayne Industries. Batman wondered if Commissioner Gordon was correct and if Harley and Ivy were trying to deduce his worldly identity.

HARLEY: Let’s attend the Wayne Ball on Halloween and romance Bruce!

IVY: Yes, we’ll pretend we’re both vying for his affections.
HARLEY: He won’t know it’s us, since we’ll be costumed and masked for Halloween.

IVY: The Wayne Ball is the premier Halloween event in Gotham.
HARLEY: Then, we’ll romance Bruce simultaneously in public and then court other men!

IVY: We’ll then say in public (on the microphone) that we think these other men may be Batman.

HARLEY: Bruce will be amused but jealous, since he’ll think we think other guys are the real Batman.

IVY: We’ll then hold these other ‘candidate-men’ at knifepoint and announce we’re Harley and Ivy.
HARLEY: We’ll then demand Bruce Wayne uncover the worldly identity of Batman.

IVY: If Wayne fails to comply, we’ll murder the Gotham Mayor by Thanksgiving.

Harley and Ivy carried out their wicked scheme to perfection. Bruce Wayne now had about a month to help release information to the press regarding the worldly identity of the real Batman. Bruce/Batman himself was secretly emotionally scarred by the Halloween Ball when Harley and Ivy had approached him in sexy costumes/masks, pretending him to court him simultaneously in public in front of cameras while asking him romantically if he might be the real Batman before humiliating him by declaring in public during the ball that other men attending might in fact be the real Batman. Of course, when Bruce/Batman realized that the two sexy masquerading women confusing him were, in fact, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, simply trying to make Wayne Ball mayhem, he set out to dismantle their conspiracy.

Batman realized Harley and Ivy simply wanted to make some kind of media ‘fiasco’ with this Batman-identity unmasking evil. Batman decided to track Harley and Ivy after releasing a press-statement from Wayne Industries in which Bruce Wayne affirmed his commitment to offer up some society-therapeutic information regarding the worldly identity of the real Batman to prevent/deter Harley and Ivy from threatening or even murdering the Gotham Mayor! Batman tracked Harley and Ivy to an abandoned warehouse outside Gotham City where he found the two sinister conspiracy-weaving urban hellraisers plotting a new social threat against him. Batman decided to tie them up with his rope-gun and haul them off to Arkham Asylum. Bruce/Batman wondered secretly if Harley and Ivy were somehow Gotham’s ‘femme’ daggers.



This extra chapter explores why the dastardly Harley Quinn (DC Comics) challenges crime-fighters to seek creative social methods of anarchy-dilution.

Signing off (thanks for reading!),


Ajay and Amlan Satan, identical twins from Algeria, were actually the costumed American vigilantes known as Daredevil and Deadpool! These twins arrived in Gotham City to help Bryce Wayne (Batman) deal with the insidious and subversive Harley Quinn (Julie Bowen) after she escaped from Arkham Asylum. Ajay (Daredevil) was more mature, while his twin Amlan (Deadpool) was more experimental!


Ajay/Daredevil and Amlan/Deadpool had already begun performing various crime-fighting deeds in Gotham City and were then featured in their own special Wikipedia pages on the Internet! Fans liked Daredevil's sense of strength and Deadpool's sense of imagination. Everyone, including Batman (Bruce Wayne) himself hoped Daredevil/Deadpool could dispel the terrorist Harley Quinn. It seemed everyone was tweeting about this!


Harley Quinn (Julie Bowen) was a celebrated media figure and TV-doctor before she was seduced by the maniac Joker (Mr. Charles Glass) to become an antisocial urban hellraiser. Julie changed her name to 'Harley Quinn' and teamed up with her evil ally Poison Ivy for various criminal acts designed to make Gotham (and Batman!) miserable! Julie/Harley escaped from Arkham Asylum after Batman had incarcerated her there alongside Poison Ivy. Now, the worried people of Gotham wondered if Julie (Harley Quinn) could be outwitted by the smart vigilante-duo Daredevil/Deadpool! Julie (Harley Quinn) was quite ready to take on any challenge after escaping from Arkham.


HARLEY QUINN: "Do you two really think you can upend my scenes in Gotham?"
DAREDEVIL/DEADPOOL: "Why don't you allow us to visit you at your 'lair' Julie ('Harley') and show-off your collection of guns, rifles, and firearms? Perhaps we might debate about nonviolence and record our conversation for the Gotham Gazette!"
HARLEY QUINN: "Sounds like a cute challenge...let's do it."


Well, Daredevil and Deadpool paid Harley Quinn a special visit to her mansion-lair and brought a audio-recorder to record their debate-conversation about the psychiatric value of nonviolence. If the debate proved worthy, the people of Gotham could hope that Harley would surrender herself to Arkham for life-rehab. Daredevil debated with Harley while Deadpool took photos of her gun-vault room! While Daredevil persuaded Harley Quinn to think about the merits of charity and art, Deadpool dug a hole in the ground of Harley's gun-vault room and tunneled his way out with a number of her precious guns! Deadpool left as a sentimental souvenir a doodle-drawing of a comic book 'goblin' signifying the perception of anarchy! Daredevil concluded his recorded debate with Harley Quinn about nonviolence in her living-room and then explained he had to rush home and would return/reunite with Harley and Deadpool later. When Harley walked into her gun-vault room to find Deadpool, she discovered her guns were stolen and a suggestive doodle-drawing was left for her to ponder!


Daredevil/Deadpool connected with Batman and gave him the recording of the debate with Harley Quinn. Deadpool also gave Batman the guns he cleverly lifted from Harley's lair. Batman thanked the vigilante-duo and told them he'd tell the Gotham Gazette that the two had engaged with the terrorist Harley Quinn privately in her hidden underground mansion-lair and debated with her about nonviolence and lifted guns from her vault-room to remind her that crime is never an opportunity to exercise mayhem over the weak. The Gazette report would assure Gothamites that Harley Quinn was not in control of the people's fears, and hopefully, she'd return to Arkham to continue her antisocial disorder treatment alongside Poison Ivy. Batman was now confident that Gotham City could deal with real social problems regarding basic psychological dangers!



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