Hilarious Courtroom Quotes

[Drakon]

I have one.

so this black football player kills his ex-wife and her lover, and is found INNOCENT!!!!!

ahahahahahaha! knee slapping fun isn't?

You forgot the real punchline--Ten years later, he writes a book about what would have happened if he did, in fact, do it.

 

[04nbod]

those made me laugh out loud.

 

[the_joker]

Haha they are all bloody hilarious! Almost makes me want to become a lawyer! My favourite one has to be:

Courtroom Quotations

* Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
* Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
* Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
* Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

 

[heypapajinx]

* Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
* Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

MIND-BLOWING!!!​

i laughed so hard my coworkers were jealous that they had to be doing work.

 

[Kyalesyin]

MIND-BLOWING!!!​

i laughed so hard my coworkers were jealous that they had to be doing work.

I second that laugh. What was the guy thinking when he said that?

 

[heypapajinx]

I second that laugh. What was the guy thinking when he said that?

Monica Lewinsky and cigarst: