Shark killed in lawyer attack.

[chaseter]

Your quotes used to contradict yourself =

Don't let Showtime see that, his hand is glowing and he is attracted to that stuff

 

[DV8]

Not sure, but I've always known that lawyers are nicknamed sharks because they're just as ruthless. And have very white teeth.

haha, it's funny cuz it's true

 

[Showtime]

Don't let Showtime see that, his hand is glowing and he is attracted to that stuff

It's glowing eyes. Not hands.

:Bella:

 

[Superman79]

I am offended by this thread.

 

[DV8]

haha, you shouldn'ta come up in here then, sissy!!

 

[Superman79]

haha, you shouldn'ta come up in here then, sissy!!

I will snap you in half, and then sue you for making me overexert myself!!

 

[jaguarr]

I am offended by this thread.

Be quiet and put on your wetsuit and swim-fins.

jag

 

[DV8]

Be quiet and put on your wetsuit and swim-fins.

jag

lol! *pushes into water unexpectedly, throws chum*

 

[DV8]

I will snap you in half, and then sue you for making me overexert myself!!

 

[Superman79]

I thought you might find that amusing t:

 

[Badger]

KILL THAT DAMN LAWYER!!!

You're sooo funny. t:

 

[Fran]

LMAO

 

[The Original Bamfer]

I want the story to reflect the thread title. Badly.

 

[Immortalfire]

I want the story to reflect the thread title. Badly.

Maybe you can rewrite it to fit the Bamfer agenda.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Maybe you can rewrite it to fit the Bamfer agenda.

I think I just may!

 

[Joker]

There is humor in tragedy.

I couldn't help but laugh.

There's no tragedy here though. The man PAID for people to throw blood and chum into the water before he died, so he could then jump into the water (not in a cage or anything, mind you), to get up close and personal with a shark. If he, or anyone else, was surprised he was bitten and killed, then well, they must be pretty thick. This is hillarious, and should be nominated for a Darwin Award.

 

[raybia]

Oops, I mean lawyer killed in shark attack.


[/COLOR][/SIZE]

I bet more lawyers have killed sharks than sharks killing lawyers. I call it Justice.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

That was funny, Fran!

I feel sorry for the guy, though. Being attacked by a shark isn't the nicest way to go.

 

[Carcharodon]

That was funny, Fran!

I feel sorry for the guy, though. Being attacked by a shark isn't the nicest way to go.

Yeah...most people bleed out, or die of shock. Being in the water doesn't help, either.

Many people don't actually feel the initial attack, especially if they don't see it happen. They feel a tug, or some pressure, but rarely the sharp pain that you'd normally associate with those teeth sinking in. You bleed an awful lot, especially since your sympathetic nervous system doesn't immediately kick in and restrict peripheral blood flow.

If you see it and comprehend it, though... Really terrifying to think about.

 

[Angel_Faerie]

Yeah...most people bleed out, or die of shock. Being in the water doesn't help, either.

Many people don't actually feel the initial attack, especially if they don't see it happen. They feel a tug, or some pressure, but rarely the sharp pain that you'd normally associate with those teeth sinking in. You bleed an awful lot, especially since your sympathetic nervous system doesn't immediately kick in and restrict peripheral blood flow.

If you see it and comprehend it, though... Really terrifying to think about.

*Shudders*

 

[demento]

Sharks and Lawyers -- A Comparative Study

"Shark" comes from the German "schurke", meaning greedy parasite. While no brave soul has gotten close enough to determine where lawyers come from, logic and common sense dictate a similar derivation.

Sharks, unlike most fish, have no bones; their skeletons are made entirely of cartilage. Lawyers, too, are spineless -- as willing to argue one side of a case as the other. For the right price.

Best known as scavengers of the dead and dying, sharks have well-honed sensors with which they can track the sounds of other injured and struggling beings. They are also equipped with fine senses of smell that allow them to detect minute dilutions of blood (one part blood to one million parts water) up to one-quarter mile away. Precisely the distance a hopeful personal injury lawyer will run behind an ambulance to toss a business card.

From the moment of birth, sharks' skin is tough and rough -- covered with thousands of tiny hard teeth call denticles that abrade any passerby made of softer stuff. Lawyers are also thick-skinned. Easily identified by their humorlessness and abrasive personalities, they are the bane of many social gatherings.

A shark will swallow anything - up to half its own size - in one gulp. Several hundred years ago, a naturalist wrote that the headless body of a knight in armor was found in a white shark's stomach. Inside another was more recently found a sea lion, a horse and the body of another seven-foot-long shark. Lawyers, too, will swallow anything -- even their pride -- as increasing numbers of lawyer hopefuls trudge to law school each year for three years of browbeating in the hopes of financing their Porsches.

Some sharks even prey on their own kind. The smell and taste of blood in the water can trigger them into an obsessed Feeding Frenzy, in which they often eat their own bodies while twisting and turning to get more food. This is not unlike the Litigation Frenzy, where lawyers are pitted against other lawyers, and ultimately themselves, to waste reams of paper while losing sight of a fair resolution for their clients.

 

[Carcharodon]

*Shudders*

Now, a great white attack is something else entirely. People sometimes feel a *brush* against their leg and assume it's kelp or something, but great whites have been observed to brush up against potential prey items. The thought is that it's part of a..."test," to see if it's edible. Their skin is composed of tiny, "teeth," (called denticles) that can be quite abrasive. It's thought that this is meant to get the target to potentially bleed just a bit.

For the most part, however, the shark is traveling at huge speeds when it hits. Great whites aren't the best accelerators, but they are among the fastest sharks when they do reach their top speed. Their ambush strategy hinges a bit on that initial slam.

I mean, imagine a 1 - 2 ton, missile-shaped shark traveling at you at about 25 mph, the front end of which is more or less teeth. Couple that with the biting force of their jaws alone and you've got a pretty nasty hit.

Attack survivors liken the sensation to being hit by a truck.

 

[Alex The Great]

i whant the thread title to be relevent

 

[Fran]

It is relevant.

 

[Mee]

"Your objection to my eating you is OVERRULED!"