Im back! And Im going to comedy school

[Darthphere]

k heres a short one I wrote.

Being a fat man you tend to realize certain things about your body. And Ive realized that cellulite tends to distribute itself relatively evenly all over your body I mean some parts are bigger than other but its all proportionate. The only thing Im wandering though is if it distributes so damn evenly then why the **** is my dick not as big around as my forearm with stretch marks all over like the rest of me! But no I have to put up with what you call a fupa (fat upper pubic area) so i hafta deal with it coming out like a dogs little red rocket when I get happy.

I dunno I just kinda adlibbed that last part about the fupa lmao

I got more alot of it is physical though. heres another one

I have recently come to the realization that there are 2 realizations about life in general that are both very traumatic. The first one is ones own mortality. That is some earthshattering **** man like you know it for a while that your gonna die one day but theres also that time when it truly hits you like "Holy **** one day I wont be here" And the second most traumatic realization is the fact that girls poop too. Uggh :shivers in horror and disgust: I seriously cannot stand the thought of a girl pinching a big fat one off : pantomine squatting and going number 2: beading up sweat n ****. All I do is pretend that freakin Go-Gurt comes out that orifice

I didn't laugh.

 

[Mee]

 

[knowsbleed]

Umm... maybe you should just post a youtube video instead.

 

[TEDDY]

The Groundlings is an improvisational comedy troupe based in L.A.


Many Groundlings performers have found success in movies and television, including several who have become cast members and writers on SNL , MAD tv , and Reno 911

They have an impressive list of Alumni.

I prefer the Upright Citizen's Brigade myself.

 

[Maximus One]

I didn't laugh.

Sorry. Just remember though all the stuff Ive wrote so far Im kinda just shooting from the hip ya know. Like I said I needa learn the craft and thats why Im going to this school.

Everyone I know though likes my stuff cept for a couple people just being haters. Haters hate thats what they do and you kinda seem like a hater yourself. Ever hear of constructive criticism?? No all you can say is "I didnt laugh" Gotta do better than that man or your just a hater

 

[Maximus One]

Umm... maybe you should just post a youtube video instead.

Of what exactly?? Im trying to learn the art and craft of comedy. What would making a youtube vid do for me??

 

[knowsbleed]

Recording yourself and watching your mannerisms helps immensely. It works for public speaking and I'm pretty damn sure it could work for stand up comedians as well. So you can try it or you could take your double ?? question marks, don't listen and continue thinking that you're funny.

 

[Master Chief]

90% of communication is in body language, you could probably make Darthphere laugh with that text if you just put presentation into it. Like, describing your dick while using your forearm as the visual. LOL. I'm laughing just thinking about it.

 

[Maximus One]

Thanx masterchief. That one aint the half of it. I have this one i wrote about me having really bad anxiety and finding that my best cure for it is to um relieve some tension. and then I explain how since Im a big guy when I do that my blood really starts pumping and I start pantomiming relieving "tension" and having this inner monologue like "Oh man so good so good oh ****! Whats that tingle in my elbow. Nevermind that. Keep going keep going, oh **** whys my shoulder hurting." And that when I man up and start screaming at myself mentally like "Dont you dare stop! Dont you dare! Your fn 25 years old and if you cant do this without having a heart attack then you dont deserve to live! You dont deserve to live!!!"

Lol. Remember though man this is all just stuff Ive come up with without knowing anything about the actual art and timing and comedic delivery side or knowing anything about joke structure. Thats why Im going to this school to learn and help me develope my skills and how to let ideas flow easier

 

[Maximus One]

Recording yourself and watching your mannerisms helps immensely. It works for public speaking and I'm pretty damn sure it could work for stand up comedians as well. So you can try it or you could take your double ?? question marks, don't listen and continue thinking that you're funny.

Im sure it does help. But why do you needa come in here with nuthing but negativity towards a fellow hype member. I said I am just starting I need to work out the kinks in my material so to speak and develope my own comedic persona. But all you wanna do is sit there and be nuthin but a negative unencouraging arrogant ******* for no reason and without provocation. "Continue thinking Im funny" **** dude I know Im funny you if you met me in person you wouldnt disagree. And if you hated on me like that in person my big fat ass would straight smash on you.

Anyways I feel what your saying about the youtube videos Ive actually been wanting to start filming stuff I have a video camera I just hardly ever have a clue what to record and anything something funny happens at my apartment I never have the camera out lol pisses me off.

Once a friend of mine was deep throating a pop sickle and like half of it broke down in her esophagus. She started bugging out screaming "OMFG!!! Its so cold!!! It hurts soooo bad!!!" **** was freaking hysterical but I didnt have the camera out. I was so mad

 

[Maximus One]

And I know that about it being psychical. I know that you hafta animate yourself on stage and believe me Ima big ass dude but Im not just gonna stand there like Ralphie May