Jill Scott's Essay on Interracial Relationships

[Varient]

Varient: Who hurt Jill Scott??? Who?

She wasn't bludgeoned by KKKers.

She wasn't struck by water from fire hoses.

She wasn't tarred and feathered.

Nope. Her bitter-ass is just upset and writing about s*** that others went through--and making their grief and pain her own. And then having the utter gall to write about it to get the rest of us riled up. Over stuff that others went through. To make their grief and pain our own.

That's dumb. Gimme a break. The only way we as a people will EVER move on from the past is by living and letting OTHERS LIVE.

Jill's article suggests that she struggles with letting black men live their lives the way they choose to, ergo, with whom they want to. And that's unfair. This is partly why my wife and I split up: I got so sick of her neck-rolling, in-yo-face "strong black woman" mentality. It's ugly and tired. The truth of the matter is this: None of us black dudes owe Jill Scott (or any other black woman on this earth) a gawdamned thing.

I apologize - I missed your post to me and I went back to read everything you wrote in this thread since it was supposed to be "so on point."

Maybe that's the disconnect.
I read this article and heard her talking about NOW while using the PAST to explain where her feelings and rational came from. Like I said before - she gets no credit for trying to get past this because she is letting others know that she is going through it in the first place.

With respect to all of you who maybe don't remember, there was a time when it was as she says, there are still parts of this country where it is still that way for people who are "different." Where the "best" way to go was to stick to your own.
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I can't argue this effectively because I understand this (her feelings) at a gut level. I don't have to explain it to myself I originally just nodded in understanding and sympathy and moved on. Now I find myself trying to explain A FEELING - and I'm not getting anywhere while reading her being equated to racists.

MEH.

 

[Golgo-13]

I prefer Kelly Divine. Girl has an ass the size of Pluto and is just as round!

Yes! And Carmella Bing!

 

[Erzengel]

I can name Seal & Heidi, OJ & Nicole, Montel and whatever the name of his wife is, and that's about it. There's also Tiger & his wife and series of mistresses, but I say we give Tiger to the Chinese until he wins another PGA Tour.

Taye Diggs and Indina Menzel.

And I can't help but think of the movie Something New and yes I know it's a "Hollywood Movie", but the premise that the title character felt the need to date a black man all her life, and ends up with a white man despite her preferences because she broadened her tastes.

 

[KenK]

Lately there have been an abundance of white girls with asses. Now that i think about it they've always been around, but in the past most white guys view what we all know consider a 'ripe, bodacious derrière ' as being fat. Now that asses are 'in' - with white girls now getting butt implants, it's all good for the chunky white girls!

This actually makes me think of something I've noticed for years here in DC. Anytime I see a black guy with a white chick down by the Verizon Center/Gallery Place area, the girl has an ass you'd only expect to see on a black chick. It never fails, I'm dead serious.

In any event, this whole thing also makes me think about one thing that always chaps my ass when black women talk about their issues with interracial dating, and it's the whole sex thing. I am sick and tired of black woman swearing up and down, "What he doin' with that white chick. She can't do what a black chick can!" WHAT?!?!

 

[BlackLantern]

This actually makes me think of something I've noticed for years here in DC. Anytime I see a black guy with a white chick down by the Verizon Center/Gallery Place area, the girl has an ass you'd only expect to see on a black chick. It never fails, I'm dead serious.

In any event, this whole thing also makes me think about one thing that always chaps my ass when black women talk about their issues with interracial dating, and it's the whole sex thing. I am sick and tired of black woman swearing up and down, "What he doin' with that white chick. She can't do what a black chick can!" WHAT?!?!

exactly, in my experience its quite the opposite....white girls will do **** that I wouldn't even think of asking a black girl to do

 

[KenK]

Well, it's usually just in terms of general intercourse, my friend will always give me sh** if I look at a white girl and find them attractive, and insists that she there's no way she's be better at sex than any give black chick.

 

[Docker2.0]

Your friends are crazy!

 

[Warhammer]

???
I didn't change anything,.. YOU decided to read parts of what I typed and spun it the way YOU wanted - Now you want to IGNORE the effects the media has had on the situation in your attempt to reduce or diminish the person for having the nerve to feel the way she does. When FACED with blunt ref to the enviroment she CURRENTLY exists in you just say:

Are you being serious? I was talking about how Jill Scott views Black men not dating Black women as betrayal. Then you just brought up the media out of left field. Haha, I didn't ignore anything. Go back and read our little discussion word for word.

You know damn well that what she is suffering is TODAY and it's CRAP, but to read you and others - She is all kinds of Ignorant, racist, petty, jealous,.............. remember this is just from admitting a hurt - no suggestions that we segregate the races, no demands that anything be done.

I said what she said was ignorant. Apparently, I don't think you know the definition of ignorant. Ignorant means unaware or uninformed.

Listen,.. I've met black women with attitude, and I've met many who don't have it - the stereotypical neck rolling 'tude that too many of you are so quick to throw up and PAINT THE ENTIRE GENDER WITH.

No, you listen. Never one time in this whole thread did I mention the "Black woman attitude." Not one time. That was other posters in here. When you are debating with someone on a forum, you make sure you stay on topic with what you are discussing with that same person. What's your problem?

Ya'll need to read yourselves.
With few exceptions the group here is saying ALL or MOST of blackwomen's relational issues are all them. You are saying that with no other group of women being player-hated by the media - that they need to shut up and change.

I'm saying MOST of them are not like this, that it all comes down to how you treat people - instead of listening to what "common knowledge" or the "media" says they are about.

When did I ever say that?? Never one time in this whole thread did I post anything like that.

Out of curiousity how do YOU know what pains she went through?

Are you by chance a close friend raised beside her? Are you a part of her life NOW where you have the inside scoop on what she should or shouldn't feel or react to?

Well, I do know that she didn't go through any slavery or segregation. She didn't experience what she brought up in the article. That's all I'm trying to say.

We are going to have to agree to disagree, I still think that she's not the monster or horrible person just because she can admit how she feels.

Peace.

I never ever made her out to be a monster or a horrible person. I never one time said she shouldn't be allowed to feel how she feels. I never called her a racist. I never called her stupid. I never said she was jealous.

Aside - I also don't fully agree with Lightning, but he didn't address me on specifics And Started on the flavor that this is a stupid article. (Which I do agree)

Varient, I'm done debating with you. You are accusing me of all these things that I never even said,you're hardly reading what I am typing, and you're obviously worked up about it to the point where you're being a little disrespectful.

 

[Golgo-13]

This actually makes me think of something I've noticed for years here in DC. Anytime I see a black guy with a white chick down by the Verizon Center/Gallery Place area, the girl has an ass you'd only expect to see on a black chick. It never fails, I'm dead serious.

In any event, this whole thing also makes me think about one thing that always chaps my ass when black women talk about their issues with interracial dating, and it's the whole sex thing. I am sick and tired of black woman swearing up and down, "What he doin' with that white chick. She can't do what a black chick can!" WHAT?!?!

Well, i live in the DMV also, so we're probably seeing the same thing.

Alot of black chicks are rather up tight about sex, or act as though they are. They hate on white girls for doing all the freaky stuff in the bedroom, but then act as though they're too good to 'participate' during intimacy. I think it boils down to be who's more comfortable with ones own sexuality and body. Ever been with a girl, and you guys get hot and heavy, and the girl doesn't want to take her shirt off becuase she doesn't like her own belly or whatever? Then she wonders why your frustrated.

If you're un-comfortable with your body, do something about it. Work out;eat right. Don't ***** and moan about your body image, or hate on other girls when you're not doing anything about your own body. And i'm not talking about looking like some super model. I just mean basic health.

I live in the DMV area, and i used to frequently work out in the gyms in DC. DC is about 80%+ black, yet the gym population doesn't reflect that. You usually see Brutha's working out, but hardly any Sistas. DC is chocolate City, yet 80% of the woman working out in any gym you walk into are white! Why is that? I tell you why........their hair! I've talked to alot of my Sistas over the years and the number one reason why they don't like to work out is because it causes you to sweat..and sweat messes up their hair dos! That's the number one reason!

I must put this out there; choosing to keep your hair do intact over your overall, long term health, Sistas, is not a wise choice. We need to change this thinking in out communities.

 

[chamber-music]

Don't leave man! I was kidding!

But seriously, I thought that once Lakeview Terrance came out, we'd see more white guy/black women couples. I can't lie, I have seen a minor increase in black women dating other races but nowhere near as big as black guys dating any race. I mean, you can go to any country in the world and you'd see a child mixed with black there.

Mixed race relationships is huge in Britain.

It's kinda weird that some black women think men of other races don't want them, when you've got men like Robert De Niro and Robin Thicke married to black women, and black women like Diana Ross and Aisha Tyler have married white men. Then you've got Tommy Chong (who's like 8,000 races rolled into one) and his first wife who was black.

I can't even name that many famous black man/white woman couples.

Brad Pitt dated black chicks back in the day and most women think his the hottest guy around.

Well not all black women have attitude problems. I think too many have unrealistic standards, but you can say that for a lot of young women of any race. As I mentioned earlier, black women being single has got to have something to do with black women themselves in addition to poor portrayals of them in media. Yeah, black women get a bad rep too often, but they do shoot themselves in the foot too. If you can't find the right man after having several suitors, chances are it has something to do with you as opposed to there not being enough "good men." "Good men" always have a sad story about a women treating them like ****, and those same women are usually the ones *****ing about not being able to find any "real men."

I agree. I hear enough women saying all men are **** but the type of men they go for are terrible. Why go out with a guy they knows going to treat them bad and then complain about it

They do it to themselves sometimes.

 

[Manic]

I agree. I hear enough women saying all men are **** but the type of men they go for are terrible. Why go out with a guy they knows going to treat them bad and then complain about it

They do it to themselves sometimes.

Katt Williams has this one joke that goes something like...

If you're 25 years or older and you're still walking around talking about [black men] ain't [crap], you need to get a handle on your [mofo-ing] life and take some responsibility, [broad]. What you mean to say is all the [black men] you [sleep] with ain't [crap]. You need to figure out what it is about your [lady bits] that keep attracting ain't-[crap] [black men].

That's edited for language, of course.

 

[Docker2.0]

Ha! Most don't realize until they hit 40 that it's them that like that kind of man. If they realize it at all.

 

[Varient]

No, you listen. Never one time in this whole thread did I mention the "Black woman attitude." Not one time. That was other posters in here. When you are debating with someone on a forum, you make sure you stay on topic with what you are discussing with that same person. What's your problem?

Varient, I'm done debating with you. You are accusing me of all these things that I never even said,you're hardly reading what I am typing, and you're obviously worked up about it to the point where you're being a little disrespectful.

Reading is fundemental,.. I addressed the group who were weilding the big freaking brush on J Scott, which you have made yourself a part of,.. in all your protests of "I didn't say this or that,.. you also didn't have crap to say about the stuff that was said along those lines.
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I'm glad we can agree to disagree because I stay irritated when an entire group gets tarred Like Black women were in this thread.
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Peace.

 

[AndThePickles]

In any event, this whole thing also makes me think about one thing that always chaps my ass when black women talk about their issues with interracial dating, and it's the whole sex thing. I am sick and tired of black woman swearing up and down, "What he doin' with that white chick. She can't do what a black chick can!" WHAT?!?!

Odd, the main stereotype I usually hear is that black women aren't as into performing oral sex, etc. because it's "degrading."

 

[Varient]

Odd, the main stereotype I usually hear is that black women aren't as into performing oral sex, etc. because it's "degrading."

(Smirk)
Speaking from experience,.. Most will,.. and be somewhat good at it, but would rather die than admit it outside the bedroom.

Strange too because the same women will do all sorts of kinky stuff as long as you don't "shame them" by telling anyone about what you do behind closed doors.

.
Too bad, too sad.
.

 

[KenK]

Odd, the main stereotype I usually hear is that black women aren't as into performing oral sex, etc. because it's "degrading."

Well, speaking from experience, that's bull****. but what I'm saying is, when it comes to just straight-up intercourse, I hear too many black clicks swearing up and down that they could sexually satisfy a black man (or any man, for that matter) better than any white woman could. Mind you, some of those same woman will cry foul if they feel white culture exoticizes them for their race as it relates to sexual prowess.

 

[Mystirious]

My argument is that fetishes tend not to lead to consistent, committed long term relationships.

And even if anything you have said about Deniro is true, which I sincerely doubt, you can prove this statement how?

 

[E-Man]

(Smirk)
Speaking from experience,.. Most will,.. and be somewhat good at it, but would rather die than admit it outside the bedroom.

Strange too because the same women will do all sorts of kinky stuff as long as you don't "shame them" by telling anyone about what you do behind closed doors.

.
Too bad, too sad.
.

That is absolutely true. I think most women want to do almost everything kinky, but the shame of people knowing about it makes it seem like they don't. This seems to be more out in the open with black people, not just women. Guys will swear up and down too about what they won't do, but they'll do just about anything in the moment. Like Chris Rock says, it's all about how you ask.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

This thread is awesome.

It went from a serious debate about interracial relationships into an all out therapy session about black women.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

^ Heh...

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

If her article was more about how the media shamelessly portrays blackwomen I would have been behind it but as it is I honestly don't care if some or alot of black men want to marry or date white women.

Yes I'm sure some black men date or marry white women for fetish reason and vice versa but I'm not comfortable saying that most don't love the white women that they are with and vice versa.

I guess I must be different then alot of black women because I've always been attracted to white, asian and anything else men. My first moviestar crush was Keanu Reeves. (who isn't totally white to be fair but still)

I just find it weird when anybody says that I'm not attracted to this or that race.

Anyway, all of the black female bashing in this thread is pretty disgusting.

 

[AndThePickles]

Well, speaking from experience, that's bull****.

Well yeah, hence the fact that it's just a stereotype. I'd just never heard the one about white women supposedly not being as good in bed before...mainly just the one about all white women being "****s." Perhaps one day society will realize that sexuality can clearly only be determined by the individual, not the race

 

[AndThePickles]

I guess I must be different then alot of black women because I've always been attracted to white, asian and anything else men. My first moviestar crush was Keanu Reeves. (who isn't totally white to be fair but still)

Ooo, mine too! :heart:

 

[Warhammer]

Reading is fundemental,.. I addressed the group who were weilding the big freaking brush on J Scott, which you have made yourself a part of,.. in all your protests of "I didn't say this or that,.. you also didn't have crap to say about the stuff that was said along those lines.
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I'm glad we can agree to disagree because I stay irritated when an entire group gets tarred Like Black women were in this thread.
.

Peace.

So if other people in the thread are bashing Black women and I choose to take no part of it, I automatically become part of that group anyway. I guess every other person who posted in this thread that didn't flat out object to the things being said made themselves part of the Black women bashing group as well.

Flawless logic, brother man. Flawless.

 

[BlackLantern]

I think Jill Scott is attempting to use her celebrity to get her point across and I think thats kind of *****ey

I don't prefer black women and I won't be made to feel bad about it, especially by someone who is just coming off as angry and bitter as Ms. Scott is