Only Children

[Hobgoblin]

I was discussing with my girlfriend yesterday how many kids we would want. She wants two and I would prefer one. (I'm not big on kids, but I am willing to compromise with her someday.) She and her mother say that only kids are weird and need siblings. I say they get plenty of social interaction with their parents, cousins, classmates and friends.

What do you think? Any only children here?

 

[Spider-Aziz]

At home, when both parents are busy, and the kid is bored, it's good to have another to interact with, when they do not engage in fights.

And the competition from within the household can be beneficial for the development of the young ones.

 

[Thundercrack85]

An heir and a spare, man.

But seriously, one kid just seems kind of lonely.

 

[Perfect Cell]

I'm an only child, and I turned out fine.

I talk to myself a lot, but that's perfectly normal.

Perfectly normal.

 

[chamber-music]

I'm an only child and I'm fine. I had plenty of cousins the same age as me and lots of friends who lived on my block so I was never lonely.

I do think being an only child can makes you more comfortable in your own company but on the flip side it can make some people a little ego-centric and self centred.

Being an only child I usually always got what I wanted because my parents didn't have to spread their income around of other children so I was a little spoilt.

Getting what I wanted as a kid actually made me less greedy and materialistic than many other people I grew up with. When you get what you want material objects tend too lose their value.

 

[ComicChick]

i'm not an only child, i'm the youngest of 4 but i very much feel like an only child as my closest sibling and i are 15 years apart. i have always wished for a sibling near my age to grow close to

 

[XtremelyBaneful]

i'm an only child and i've hated it all my life

 

[Spider-Fan83]

if your not big on kids, in general, don't feel presured by your girlfriends, or society into having kids, just cuase it's the "social norm"

I don't like kids, never had kids, never will have kids of my own (closest I've came was dating a girl with kids once... only once)

though, ironically I suckered into babysitting my sisters kids all the time, anyway

so, all I can say based on my involvement with her kids is that 4 is too many...

 

[GENERAL RAAM582]

I honestly don't want to have kids at all. Maybe I'll find a woman who feels the same.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

What will you do if you do?

 

[Mandon Knight]

All depends on the environment of the child, if encouraged to interact and given positive outlook from their parent, an only child will be open to friendships and new experiences.

I think it's later in life when perhaps their parents need more support where possibly being an only child is felt, in that all the decision making and care issues are on one person and not shared between siblings.

I'm 1 of 2, have an elder brother.

 

[Warhammer]

I am an only child. Honestly, I do feel that being an only child has made me self-reliant, stubborn, and cold, though other life factors may have contributed to that as well. I was also introverted until I was 19 or so. Now, I am a social butterfly.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

It's strange, I guess I am in a weird category. When I tell friends I have a brother and sister they always say that they can't believe it. The I explain how they were adopted by my parents before I was born, by a quite a few years. There is a bit of an age difference to between us so growing up we didn't have much in common (though a big part of me being a super hero fan is cuz my brother was one when I was young). Then both left the nest early, my sister when she was 16 and then my brother when he was the same age. That left me at home as the only child.

 

[KevanG]

I grew up with my sister but we got separated for several years due to parent issues. We were both already kind of ****ed up but we never really got that close, even today we're still kind of distant even when we hang out.

My best friend only had one kid for a long time and he was lonely as heck for a long time as I was the only friend he had and I was his Uncle.

 

[zeroapoc]

i'm not an only child, i'm the youngest of 4 but i very much feel like an only child as my closest sibling and i are 15 years apart. i have always wished for a sibling near my age to grow close to

This is similar to me. My brothers are 12 and 10 years older.

 

[Schlosser85]

I'm an only child and I grew up very introverted, talking to myself all the time, writing stories, etc.

To this day I'm socially awkward, though I can't say if that's because of being an only child or just because I have social anxiety.

 

[terry78]

I misread this as oily children, I didn't know what the **** you were on.

But I have one younger sister and I have always wondered what it would be like to have flown solo all those years.

 

[Enriquespy]

I'm very introverted too and I have a sister (who is quite open and extroverted) , so there is no certainty either way.

 

[OctaviusINC]

I'm an only child.

It's pretty awesome. I had a Nintendo and never had to give someone else a turn. Unlimited Nintendo.

I'm very introverted. I love my alone time. I can't say I'm socially awkward though. I was raised to respect others and always be polite and courteous.

But it's like I start the day with a little social bar. Whomever I interact with it fills up. Mine fills up much quicker and easier than others though. And when it fills...that's when I need my quiet alone time to read, draw, create etc..

 

[Tempest]

I suppose it depends on the family you have. If you have a nice support system, a larger extended family, and so on, sure.

Although I have a HUGE extended family, most of them are waaaaay older than me (my oldest cousin is 91), to waaaaay younger than me (9), and we live five hours from the closest relatives. I have no one my own age. The closest person in age is actually my sister, who is nearly six years younger than me. I'm glad I have her, because eventually, most of my extended family will pass long before I do, and when they're gone and my parents are gone, I'll really only have Sis and her little girl.

So I'm glad that I have a sibling to grow old with. I suppose if I ever find a mate, I could grow old with them, but at the moment, it looks like I'm destined to be the spinster auntie.

 

[Feenix]

I have a half brother that I grew up with but I don't have much in common with. I would have liked to have another sibling.

Or you can just get dogs and avoid having kids altogether. That way you never have to sacrifice your dreams.

 

[giveyourself12%]

(I'm not big on kids, but I am willing to compromise with her someday.

If you're not big on kids, you shouldn't have them. I'm not being flippant...I grew up in a situation where one parent wanted kids and the other didn't, but compromised because they didn't want to break up.

If you're not big on kids you won't be able to hide it no matter what you think right now and it'll show through in every interaction you have with the child(ren).

When you're thinking of having kids you're obligated to focus completely on what's best for them.

Romantic relationships are secondary and even if you don't believe it, YES, you can always get another one with someone who shares your views on kids and you will feel the same about her as you do about your current girlfriend.

Yes, you will.

I know you probably won't agree because people get all "WE'RE IN LOOOOOVE AND WE "MUST NEVVERRRR BREAKKK UPPPPPP NO MATTTTTER WHATTTTT!!!!!" when they're in relationships. But sometimes the greatest thing you can do for your potential kids is not have them. Especially if you've already got an inkling it's not for you.

Please think about it.

 

[Micromind]

i'm an only child and i've hated it all my life

I'm an only child and it feels awesome till you reach 8 (or 10) after that ... it feels annoying when you are lonely.

 

[XtremelyBaneful]

I'm an only child and it feels awesome till you reach 8 (or 10) after that ... it feels annoying when you are lonely.

I didn't realize how much it sucked when I was a kid but by the time I was a teenager I hated it.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

Some of you don't feel it now, but I think you might soften up a bit once you hear the baby grab to you and call you 'dada' or 'mama'.
It's a different experience when the child is yours.