Post Here To Find Out What Your Totem Is

[jaguarr]

A totem is a symbol of that which you are most tied directly to in the natural world. It's characteristics, strengths and weaknesses define you and the totem itself serves as a natural guardian for you. Totems can be animals, plants, or other natural object. Many, many moons ago, A Sioux Shaman saw the jaguar within me and connected our consciousness together. When he did this, he also bequeathed me with the great powah to see other people's totems. Now, I bring this great powah to you, the masses. For the low, low price of your soul after you die, I will tell you what your totem is and what that means. I will do this only for as long as it entertains me, so hurry and act now! The first ten callers will also receive a pair of Ginshoe knives. They're the knives that you can wear like a shoe!

*Disclaimer: Anyone injured, maimed, killed or otherwise offended by any content in this post or any subsequent posts by this author should seek counseling on their own dime or just blend in with the dirt. These posts may cause vertigo, delerium, headaches, stretch marks, gender confusion, crows feet, back acne, elevated blood pressure and/or trichotillomania. Warning: do NOT taunt this post. If it begins to glow, vibrate and shake, run away. The author is not responsible for any injuries or traumas sustained by the reader while reading this post.

jag

 

[Spider-Fett]

Sure why not

 

[POWdER-man]

ok I will bite....what do you need....

 

[Erzengel]

If I'm not some sort of exotic cat besides a jaguar, I'm going to be very pissed off.

 

[Noon]

I love this kind of thing

 

[Spider-Fan]

I'd do it, but I like my sould where it is

 

[The Evolutionist]

What the hell, I'm in...

 

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

I'll do whatever it is..

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

I'm just here because I need a new set of Ginshoes

 

[DV8]

in before the lock!? for the knives!?!

 

[nosebleed.]

Tat me!

 

[AndThePickles]

Ooo, I want my totem!

 

[Eggyman]

Is my inner animal a chicken or a duck?


egg

 

[jaguarr]

Sure why not

Spider-Fett, I have spoken to The Spirits and they have revealed to me that your totem is the dancing bear:

You are large and hairy and enjoy dressing in silky women's clothing. You are eager to please and love to entertain a crowd, preferably by mesmerizing them with your incredible skills of dance. Loyal and fierce, you live by a code of honor which no one but yourself understands, which confuses most people and is often mistaken for unwarranted aggression. You are a complex soul with many layers and are reluctant to reveal much about yourself, though everyone reads you like a book anyway. You have many friends, though most of them avoid you.

jag

 

[Noon]

Jag is just leading us on with promises of spiritual wisdom, then sitting back and cackling at our eagerness!

For shame

edit - ok i take it back

 

[Spider-Fan]

You know what, I'll just take my totem thing...my soul will fight you off later

 

[Jack Rabbit]

Oh, **** yes.

Thread of the month.

 

[BRUTAL]

I'm with Dew.. I'm in this for the Sharp Shoes.

 

[DarthRekal]

hook me up jags

 

[jaguarr]

ok I will bite....what do you need....

POWdER-man, I have spoken with The Spirits and they have revealed to me that your totem is gypsum:

You are solid but easily crushed. You are often transparent and your friends consider you to be rather clingy, though they admire you for your perfect cleavage (it's a geology term, so settle down). You are extremely flexible, which makes you popular with the ladies but you fall apart in a hurry if they are too rough with you. You are a kind, fragile soul that must be handled carefully. You are rich in every way except financially and nurture and nourish everything around you. A good career for you would be as a gardener.



jag

 

[Drakon]

This reminds me. I should make a "post here to be banned" thread, just for people to post and be banned

 

[nosebleed.]

This reminds me. I should make a "post here to be banned" thread, just for people to post and be banned

or a post here to be hoffed thread...but I fear that thread would leap to 20,000 posts in no time.

 

[AndThePickles]

So far these totems don't seem very good. Either that or people just have a heap of weaknesses.

 

[X-Chick]

Meh, my curiosity always gets the better of me, so hit me with it, jag.

 

[jaguarr]

If I'm not some sort of exotic cat besides a jaguar, I'm going to be very pissed off.

Erzengel, The Spirits have spoken to me. They have disclosed that your totem is the meerkat:

Like your namesake, you have incredible vision and depth perception, which makes you an incredible judge of character. However, you spend a large amount of your time "underground", figuratively speaking, so you rarely use your gift. You are highly sexed and your girlfriend weeps when she walks because of this, though she loves you intensely. You have many, many friends and family but they are your only means of defense against predators so take great care not to offend you. Remember, you do not have to be the fastest runner in the pack; you just have to be faster than most.


jag