Sequels Superman: The Man of Steel according to wellsy

[wellsy]

This is a quick script I've been working on for a little while. It is set 3-and-a-bit-years after Superman Returns, and is what I think should be in The Man of Steel. This is exclusively my work, and will be posted in bits and pieces. Here is the opening 15 minutes or so:

Superman: The Man of Steel​

The opening sequence works just like Superman Returns and its predessecors, except that at the end, the camera zooms towards Earth, but misses (paning around as it goes through a quick flyby). It ends up going out a fair distance, and with Earth in the backdrop, we see New Krypton float into view, before a meteor passes us, and we follow it rapidly as it crashes into New Krypton.

We then cut, to see a man (in a long coat, 4 piece suit, etc) walking into an office block (we follow his legs). We cut again to be behind his head as he walks out of an elevator. The head is bald. The level of the building he exits is very quiet, apart from a few people on their phones. The man walks into what is obviously his office.

Secretary: Good morning Mr. Luthor.
Lex: Morning Marie.
Marie: Coffee, and the Daily Planet are on your desk, sir.
Lex: Any messages?

Marie give him a look that says Need you ask? in a million ways. Lex Luthor smiles, recieves the messages, and walks into his inner sanctum. A steaming Cuppacino and a newspaper is on the desk inside the very large, spacious office. He walks around and sits down in his big leather chair, starts to stir his coffee, almost mindlessly. He glances at the Daily Planet. An article on Superman helping evacuate flood victims is on the side of the front page.

He smiles.

Cut - Three years previous.

Lex: So its agreed then?

Superman glares at Lex Luthor, his old nemesis, who calmly, smugly, returns his gaze.

Superman: Yes. You keep Jason a secret, and stop trying to destroy the world (he says this in a very off-hand manner). I'll say New Krypton was created by terrorists who stole crystals from me while I was gone.
Lex: Alright then.

Lex leaps up to conclude the deal with a shake. Superman snubs him by turning and flying away. Lex smugly smiles at himself - he might yet be able to make something of this.

Cut - Present.

Lex is still smiling. He feels that he won his greatest victory over Superman in that one encounter. He'd hurt him.

Lex (softly): (Deleted "What was it Khan said?". But retaining the quote ) "I've hurt you. And I want to go on hurting you."

Cut - Daily Planet office

Clark Kent is reflecting on the deal he struck with Luthor three years ago. It seemed to have held together pretty well. He comes out of his reverie as Perry White screams his head off at poor Jimmy Olsen. He's grown up quite a bit, thought Clark.

Perry: YOU SAID YOU'D HAVE THE PHOTOS OF THE LAUNCH VEHICLE BY NOON!!!!
Jimmy (exacerbated): I couldn't get through! I'm not Superman, y'know!
Perry: I DON'T CARE! GET ME THOSE SHOTS BY TOMORROW OR YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!

Jimmy shakes his head and flees the building, hoping to get those pictures or as much distance between himself and his editor as possible. Perry looks over at Clark, and his voice roars across the busy office.

Perry: CLARK! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE THAT STORY ON THE EXPEDITION FOR ME?!
Clark: It'll be done by 4.
Perry: IT'D BETTER BE, AND IF IT'S NOT, THEN NOT EVEN SUPERMAN CAN SAVE YOU!

Clark almost allows himself to smirk. He knows he's just kidding, but it was ironic. Could Superman save himself? Now that is a question! Clark returned to his notes, and begins to work on a half-finished article about an expedition being mounted to New Krypton, which has established itself in a very high orbit since Superman pushed it into space three and a bit years ago.

Which was also when he found out about Jason.

Cut - Daily Planet European Office.

Richard White is now editor of European Affairs for the Daily Planet newspaper. In his office, with its view of Amsterdam, he sat quietly. The late night (changed from "early morning") lights were few and far between. It was nearly completely quiet. He remembered that day. Three years ago.

Cut - Three years previous.

Richard is pacing around the room, obviously agitated. Superman is there, sure of himself, but very much empathetic to Richard's plight.

Richard: So Jason is...?
Superman: Yes.
Richard: And you want me to...?
Superman: Yes.
Richard: Does Lois know?
Superman: I think she always knew.
Richard goes to the window and grips the windowsill with great anger.
Richard: You walk out for five years, come back, and don't want to take responsibility for what's happened?!
Superman: You can be the father I can't be.
Richard (sarcastically): Really?! Oh, that makes me feel a LOT better!
Superman: I was raised by people just like you.
Richard: What?
Superman: They took me in as a baby, raised me as their own. Even though they knew I wasn't. It didn't matter to them.

An uneasy silence descends. Richard is not happy with the proposed arrangements, and Superman is not proud of having to ask for it. After a moment:

Superman: I'm only mortal.

Those three words shock Richard. Superman admiting his own... limitations?! How ludicrous. Fatal Kryptonite didn't kill him, even when he was in contact with it for several minutes. So how come he is so limited here?

Richard: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Superman: Right now, you can provide him with the security and nurturing home that I can't. If he's with me, people will use him to hurt me. And I can't always be there for him. I'm Superman, not God.
Richard: But-
Superman: You've raised him so far. You've done a good job. I might be his father, but you are his carer, and that is something I cannot be. Not yet.
Richard: And if he's difficult?
Superman (chuckles): Don't worry. I'll be around. Just call if you need me.
Superman walks out of the room. Richard gazes out the window, upset at the bombshell that Superman dropped. But then, didn't he just say that he was a good man. Isn't that the kind of compliment people always strove for. He turns away from the window.

Cut - Present day

Richard hurriedly answers the phone.

Richard: Hello?
Lois: I've come all this way, for a few weeks, and you can't even get away from work?!!!!
Richard: I got distracted.
Lois: By what?! Krypton?
Richard: New Krypton, yes.
Lois: What does that mean?
Richard: ESA spotted a meteor strike it. It was the pictures.
Lois: What about them?
Richard: They look... almost Kryptonian.
Lois (sarcastic): Right! And I can run faster than Superman!
Richard: I'm serious! They said it might've changed the orbit.
Lois: If that was true then HOW could they get a clear picture of it.(added the second sentence for Richard, and changed Lois' line to match) (sighs) Just come home - its late.
Richard: Yeah. I s'pose.
Lois: See you, then.
Richard. Bye.

Richard hangs up the phone. The pictures WERE blurred. But still, he'd better have a word with Superman about this. Though not yet. He had to get home - hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned, and Lois could easily be the devil in disguise. He picked up his jacket, and walked to his car.

Alright - I'd like to hear your opinions. And please, don't just say you hate it; specify what you have problems with (if its the premise of Jason and co. from SR, then I'm sorry, but I can't change that).


Edit - I've made a few small edits to the dialogue, which I've highlighted by brackets in italics.

 

[matthooper]

Well, I guess if you can't say something nice, you should say nothing.


.....crickets chirping in the backround.

 

[wellsy]

Well, some say that people say nothing when everything is good and spit the dummy when its all bad.

To each his own, I s'pose.

 

[mego joe]

Superman making a deal with Luthor is just one more deception and one more mistake that will obviously backfire on SUpreman. Can't a Superman movie be about actual outright villainy and about Superman cleaning up his mistakes.

How about after the credits a fade to Mxyzptlk laughing hysterically at SUpreman and saying "... and you thought I was your son."

How about after the credits a fade to Mxyzptlk laughing hysterically at SUpreman and saying "... and you thought I was your son."

 

[wellsy]

Your criticism is valid mego, but consider: Superman has just found out about a son he never knew he had. Luthor also knows. Given that in the inevitable trial, Luthor will air it that Superman's had a kid, etc, then Supes might just want to sidestep the issue by allowing Luthor to go free in return for keeping Jason a secret, and not trying to destroy the world again .

He makes the decision a father would. That its a mistake (and Supes thinks it is), doesn't mean he won't do it (look at Anakin in SW: RotS). Love makes us all fools.

 

[mego joe]

Your criticism is valid mego, but consider: Superman has just found out about a son he never knew he had. Luthor also knows. Given that in the inevitable trial, Luthor will air it that Superman's had a kid, etc, then Supes might just want to sidestep the issue by allowing Luthor to go free in return for keeping Jason a secret, and not trying to destroy the world again .

He makes the decision a father would. That its a mistake (and Supes thinks it is), doesn't mean he won't do it (look at Anakin in SW: RotS). Love makes us all fools.

I think this just shows what a bad idea it was to give him a kid in this manner. Now the sequel necessarily has to deal with it. It makes the focus of the film become Jason and not Superman, now SUperman's adventures are going to be based upon his concern for his child. I just don't see anything positive from this line of storytelling, especially if it involves more mistakes by Superman. Two wrongs don't make a right. SUperman should be an ethically stronger character than to be blackmailed by Luthor or have to make a deal like that with him, especially when Superman is proposing the deal for his own sake! Argh.

Mxyzptlk, where foreart thou Mxyzptlk.

 

[OzzMosiz]

Superman: Yes. You keep Jason a secret, and stop trying to destroy the world (he says this in a very off-hand manner). I'll say New Krypton was created by terrorists who stole crystals from me while I was gone.
Lex: Alright then.

Problem is, Superman never lies!

 

[wellsy]

Note - Luthor technically IS a terrorist. So Supes does tell the truth. He just doesn't reveal WHO the terrorists are. Its just a detail being omitted. To quote:

"A lie?"
"An omission."

leaving out one fact isn't lying. It might not be telling the whole truth, but it isn't lying either.

 

[punxnotdead]

First of all, I want to give you credit for writing this all out, it may have a few flaws, however, you did a good job in writing it. Personally, I could never think of anything like that, very imaginative!Rachel

 

[wellsy]

Thanks for the sentiment Punx.

Its nice to at least be acknowledged for your work. Though what's the second item on your list.

Also - I'll post a brief rundown of my vision starting from where I left off here in a day or two (haven't really been working on this lately). There will be some scenes that I'll write out (there is a second one) - just don't expect them to work in chronological order either.

 

[griffolyon12]

A very good job especially for an amateur screenwriter.Keep up the good wotk,although this isn't how I think the actual film will play out this is your own screenplay and I look forward to reading the rest.

 

[wellsy]

TY, I'll have the synopsis done in the next day (hopefully).

I'm pretty sure the ending will be... controversial.

 

[wellsy]

As promised, a brief synopsis for the rest of the movie.

Superman: The Man of Steel Synopsis​

After the opening 15 minutes, the movie will then progress as follows:

Lex also sees this meteorite impact, and as he is a major sponsor, issues a statement that the mission will go ahead as planned, saying that the number crunching revealed no major changes. Clark is at the conference, and decides to go and investigate this asteroid impact himself. After seeing it, he dismisses it as virtually nothing.

The launch of the New Krypton Expedition proceeds, and Jason watches it on TV. He then has to pack his bag to go with his parents to Metropolis for some holidays.

We then go to the NK expedition, who have landed near where Superman confronted Luthor in SR. This is also reasonably close to where the meteor impacted. Two of the astronouts go to survey the crash site. They find the crater, which has some sort of fungi-like substance all over it. A bit concerned, they take several photos and collect a sample of the moss-like substance. They return to the Expedition craft, where they meet up with the other 4 members of the expedition.

As the shuttle leaves NK behind, the moss on the surface of the crater begins to slowly coalesce into a humanoid form. There is a close up shot of the three dots forming and upside down triangle on the forehead of the being, and glowing red eyes (its just that in the shot ).

Arriving back on Earth, the sample collected from the crater is found to be biomechanical, a mix of actual life and computer mechanics. The discovery excites Luthor, who begins to expand his business into the R&D Technology industry.

A few days later Luthor, who has been very energetic getting his new technology subsidiary off the ground, takes a break and reads a short article about a skirmish over the North Pole. When he realises it was near the Fortress, and involved Superman and something else from Krypton, he takes a close look at the pictures he found from several observation satelites in orbit that he has access to through business and political contacts. He begins to think the samples he has ARE Kryptonian. He smiles at the irony of the situation (SR - he stole Kryptonian technology from the Fortress and was in the wrong, but now he has it from Brainiac and is in the right).

Superman heads up to the Fortress of Solitude to find out what this biomechanical stuff is. He doesn't have a sample, but because of the photos, he believes that it might be Kryptonian. The hologram of his father confirms that Brainiac was a probe sent out to explore Krypton's galactic neighbourhood, and return with the information it had gathered. Supposedly possesed of an artificial intelligence, it was probably Brainiac was there trying to fulfill his programming. Which is, to learn, and then return to the originator.

However, Superman asks if anything could have happened to the artificial intelligence, to which he is told "Yes" by Jor-El. Jor-El briefly elaborates that with Krypton gone, Brainiac could easily assume himself superior, and given his capacity to grow in intelligence and logical thought, should he have been exposed to certain ideas, he could easily be a great threat.
Superman, a bit shaken by this unexpected survivor of his homeworld (NB - Brainiac said he was of "Kryptonian origin"), returns to Metropolis. There he meets Lois, who is alone at her Metropolis home. Here is the scene:

--------------------

Lois is standing on her veranda just outside of Metropolis. Its nice to have Jason for his holidays. Though at this late hour, he should be in bed. And even if she wasn't Kryptonian, she DID know best (Author's note - ).

She looked up at Jason's room.

Lois: Go to bed.

Jason, who had just started to lean out the window, is surprised, and is about to argue, but then thinks better of it. He knows how aggressive she can be.

A short while passes. Superman silently glides down. He watched the whole thing. He smirks.

Superman: He's a lot like his mother.

Lois is bemused by his presence. Jason is like his mother... but his father's abilities make him worse.

Lois: He's worse than his mother.
Superman: Oh?
Lois: He's almost desperate to be his father.

Superman is a bit surprised by this. At that age, he hadn't really countenanced becoming a superhero. Though he knew he was different and hid his abilities as best he could, he didn't do anything until his late 20s.

But Jason... had his father's legacy to live up to.

Lois: He knows how different he is.
Superman: So did I... when I was his age.
Lois: And you kept it quiet?
Superman (after a pause): Yes.
Superman looks away. He knows what Lois is saying. Jason wants to be like his father, and so struggles to hide his powers.
Superman: I'll have a chat to him about keeping his abilities secret. And how important it is.
Lois: Speaking of which... how did you get Luthor to keep quiet about Jason.
Superman again avoids her gaze. He's not proud of what he did.
Lois: Well?
Superman: I... made a deal.
Lois: Involving?
Superman: He stays quiet about Jason, and stops trying to destroy the world. I... overlook his presence at New Krypton.
Lois: You WHAT?!

Superman looks away again.

Superman: I said it was terrorists. I didn't say who the terrorists were.
Lois: A lie?
Superman: An omission.
Lois: What's the difference?!

Superman feels... vulnerable. He has erred. He knows it. And he knows
Lois is right. An omission CAN be a lie.

Lois: Honestly! You sound like Spock.
Superman: Vulcans don't lie.
Lois: You're not Vulcan!
Superman: Then what am I?!
Superman feels exposed. He acts in an agitated state. But his last question seemed to have stunned Lois.
Superman: I'm a father. I couldn't just let him spill the beans. What else was I to do?

Superman almost pleads with Lois. The question he'd just asked was still on her mind though.

Lois: It seems like you're... human.

Superman gives her an odd look. Him, human?

Lois: You make mistakes, you have flaws.

Superman sees her point.

Superman: But I'm still more than human.
Lois: No - you hold yourself to a higher standard than others. Some humans do that too.

Superman smiles. Harsh as a tiger, but gentle as a cat. She can choose to be either. Or both.

Lois: I can tell you're not proud of what you did. (She looks out towards Metropolis) Just don't beat yourself up over it.

When Lois looks back to where Superman was, she sees that he is gone.

She smiles.

Camera zooms out. Fade in next scene.

--------------------

We cut back to NK, where we are behind a man, gazing down at Earth. He is collecting all radio transmissions, fulfilling his original programming. He finds it curious that there is Kryptonian technology on this world which appears so primitive. Learning of Superman though, he realises where the technology comes from. He remains there for about a month, just listening, learning. Finally, thinking he understands Earth enough to engage it, and given their similarity to Kryptonians in their physiology, he assumes this to be a good place to establish himself.

Brainiac descends to Earth in order to seek out this Superman. He knows that this Superman will attempt to stop him from claiming power, so he must be... subdued.

Clark Kent is on his way back to his apartment when he hears a distant thud. Looking up, he sees Brainiac, who proceeds to knock off several parts of buildings, in order to lure out Superman. Clark transforms into Superman, and flies up to meet him. Brainiac starts to introduce himself, but seeing the look on Superman's face, concludes that he already knows about him. They fight, with Superman drawing Brainiac to the countryside where they can fight without

Though Brainiac should, be rights, be superior, Superman is able to gain the upper hand, but only by bringing out some of his best guns. Brainiac, though defeating, tells Superman that he will return, and claim the world as its ruler.

Superman, though a bit hard-hit by Brainiac's attack (emotionally), continues on as though nothing has happened. Returning to Lois' house, he sees his son, who asks him why he does what he does. Superman replies by saying the world is his family, and though he might not have been born here, it was his home, and he was the greatest man there. It was his duty to inspire others to be the best they could be, rather than to force them to be their best or worst selves. Jason and Superman float over the roof (Jason is flying on his own) as they have this conversation.

A week passes.

Brainiac returns, and attacks Metropolis again. Clark transforms into Superman and goes out to meet him. Even though he was unsettled by his last encounter with Brainiac, he felt confident of defeating Brainiac.

This is not so.

Brainiac was very quick to realise the full breadth of his abilities, and refined them with computer-guided precision. He is easily able to outmatch Superman. However, Superman decides to buy some time to evacuate the city, and lures Brainiac out to see and high into the sky. They grapple with each other (in an SFX sequence that shows both beating the snot out of each other at high altitude and so on).
Eventually, however, Brainiac is gaining the upper hand. While Superman tires, Brainiac remains fresh. Their fight returns to Metropolis, and they end up in Lex Luthor's office. Lex has just recieved a prototype Kryptonite gun that he had been developing for some time, well before he started Lexcorp Tech Industries. Here is the final scene:

------------------

Luthor was not pleased to have such intruders in his office. Though he despised Superman, he despised Brainiac even more, because he knew that Superman did kind of share his powers, and that Brainiac would not. Brainiac though, was busy with Superman, his whole attention focused on the Kryptonian.

Brainiac: They called you the man of steel. It seems though, that steel was not strong enough.
Superman: It isn't just raw strength that defined me.
Brainiac: But it is the strong who survive, and the stronger who triumph.

Luthor has finally reached the safe. He inputs his code, and the safe opens, and pulls out his Kryptonite gun. It works to focus Kryptonite radiation on a single source. He had intended it for Superman, though Brainiac would do just fine.

Though as he aimed and fired, Superman leapt into the beam. Luthor, momentarily surprised, quickly regains his cool. Superman winks at him.

Brainiac: I thank you, Mr. Luthor. And I also apologise for the intrusion.
Lex: None necessary. I've wanted to do that for a long long time.
Brainiac: And you shall witness this historic moment, when Superman is finally defeated forever.

Superman smiles a knowing smile at Luthor, who seems... moved.
He then turns, to see Brainiac advancing towards him. He puts up his arm, fighting to the last, but Brainiac slips by the feeble defence, and punches Superman into the camera.

Cut to black. Roll end credits.

------

Like I said, controversial ending. I'd imagine it to be something like this, though not quite so final (Supes just gets punch/thrown onto the camera, rather than his head crushed): http://www.warhammeronline.com/english/media/video/easterEggs/2006/E-C_FINAL.html.

Do be warned - there IS blood and guts in this film.

Thoughts?

Edit - I think I should clear up a few things. Regarding Brainiac, I imagine him as being something like an android for humans - he doesn't feel pain when exposed to Kryptonite (hence his ability to survive on NK and Superman's dive).

Also, just so you know... Superman has been defeated . Read into that what you will.

 

[BareKnucklez]

This is a quick script I've been working on for a little while. It is set 3-and-a-bit-years after Superman Returns, and is what I think should be in The Man of Steel. This is exclusively my work, and will be posted in bits and pieces. Here is the opening 15 minutes or so:

Superman: The Man of Steel​

The opening sequence works just like Superman Returns and its predessecors, except that at the end, the camera zooms towards Earth, but misses (paning around as it goes through a quick flyby). It ends up going out a fair distance, and with Earth in the backdrop, we see New Krypton float into view, before a meteor passes us, and we follow it rapidly as it crashes into New Krypton.

We then cut, to see a man (in a long coat, 4 piece suit, etc) walking into an office block (we follow his legs). We cut again to be behind his head as he walks out of an elevator. The head is bald. The level of the building he exits is very quiet, apart from a few people on their phones. The man walks into what is obviously his office.

Secretary: Good morning Mr. Luthor.
Lex: Morning Marie.
Marie: Coffee, and the Daily Planet are on your desk, sir.
Lex: Any messages?

Marie give him a look that says Need you ask? in a million ways. Lex Luthor smiles, recieves the messages, and walks into his inner sanctum. A steaming Cuppacino and a newspaper is on the desk inside the very large, spacious office. He walks around and sits down in his big leather chair, starts to stir his coffee, almost mindlessly. He glances at the Daily Planet. An article on Superman helping evacuate flood victims is on the side of the front page.

He smiles.

Cut - Three years previous.

Lex: So its agreed then?

Superman glares at Lex Luthor, his old nemesis, who calmly, smugly, returns his gaze.

Superman: Yes. You keep Jason a secret, and stop trying to destroy the world (he says this in a very off-hand manner). I'll say New Krypton was created by terrorists who stole crystals from me while I was gone.
Lex: Alright then.

Lex leaps up to conclude the deal with a shake. Superman snubs him by turning and flying away. Lex smugly smiles at himself - he might yet be able to make something of this.

Cut - Present.

Lex is still smiling. He feels that he won his greatest victory over Superman in that one encounter. He'd hurt him.

Lex (softly): (Deleted "What was it Khan said?". But retaining the quote ) "I've hurt you. And I want to go on hurting you."

Cut - Daily Planet office

Clark Kent is reflecting on the deal he struck with Luthor three years ago. It seemed to have held together pretty well. He comes out of his reverie as Perry White screams his head off at poor Jimmy Olsen. He's grown up quite a bit, thought Clark.

Perry: YOU SAID YOU'D HAVE THE PHOTOS OF THE LAUNCH VEHICLE BY NOON!!!!
Jimmy (exacerbated): I couldn't get through! I'm not Superman, y'know!
Perry: I DON'T CARE! GET ME THOSE SHOTS BY TOMORROW OR YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!

Jimmy shakes his head and flees the building, hoping to get those pictures or as much distance between himself and his editor as possible. Perry looks over at Clark, and his voice roars across the busy office.

Perry: CLARK! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE THAT STORY ON THE EXPEDITION FOR ME?!
Clark: It'll be done by 4.
Perry: IT'D BETTER BE, AND IF IT'S NOT, THEN NOT EVEN SUPERMAN CAN SAVE YOU!

Clark almost allows himself to smirk. He knows he's just kidding, but it was ironic. Could Superman save himself? Now that is a question! Clark returned to his notes, and begins to work on a half-finished article about an expedition being mounted to New Krypton, which has established itself in a very high orbit since Superman pushed it into space three and a bit years ago.

Which was also when he found out about Jason.

Cut - Daily Planet European Office.

Richard White is now editor of European Affairs for the Daily Planet newspaper. In his office, with its view of Amsterdam, he sat quietly. The late night (changed from "early morning") lights were few and far between. It was nearly completely quiet. He remembered that day. Three years ago.

Cut - Three years previous.

Richard is pacing around the room, obviously agitated. Superman is there, sure of himself, but very much empathetic to Richard's plight.

Richard: So Jason is...?
Superman: Yes.
Richard: And you want me to...?
Superman: Yes.
Richard: Does Lois know?
Superman: I think she always knew.
Richard goes to the window and grips the windowsill with great anger.
Richard: You walk out for five years, come back, and don't want to take responsibility for what's happened?!
Superman: You can be the father I can't be.
Richard (sarcastically): Really?! Oh, that makes me feel a LOT better!
Superman: I was raised by people just like you.
Richard: What?
Superman: They took me in as a baby, raised me as their own. Even though they knew I wasn't. It didn't matter to them.

An uneasy silence descends. Richard is not happy with the proposed arrangements, and Superman is not proud of having to ask for it. After a moment:

Superman: I'm only mortal.

Those three words shock Richard. Superman admiting his own... limitations?! How ludicrous. Fatal Kryptonite didn't kill him, even when he was in contact with it for several minutes. So how come he is so limited here?

Richard: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Superman: Right now, you can provide him with the security and nurturing home that I can't. If he's with me, people will use him to hurt me. And I can't always be there for him. I'm Superman, not God.
Richard: But-
Superman: You've raised him so far. You've done a good job. I might be his father, but you are his carer, and that is something I cannot be. Not yet.
Richard: And if he's difficult?
Superman (chuckles): Don't worry. I'll be around. Just call if you need me.
Superman walks out of the room. Richard gazes out the window, upset at the bombshell that Superman dropped. But then, didn't he just say that he was a good man. Isn't that the kind of compliment people always strove for. He turns away from the window.

Cut - Present day

Richard hurriedly answers the phone.

Richard: Hello?
Lois: I've come all this way, for a few weeks, and you can't even get away from work?!!!!
Richard: I got distracted.
Lois: By what?! Krypton?
Richard: New Krypton, yes.
Lois: What does that mean?
Richard: ESA spotted a meteor strike it. It was the pictures.
Lois: What about them?
Richard: They look... almost Kryptonian.
Lois (sarcastic): Right! And I can run faster than Superman!
Richard: I'm serious! They said it might've changed the orbit.
Lois: If that was true then HOW could they get a clear picture of it.(added the second sentence for Richard, and changed Lois' line to match) (sighs) Just come home - its late.
Richard: Yeah. I s'pose.
Lois: See you, then.
Richard. Bye.

Richard hangs up the phone. The pictures WERE blurred. But still, he'd better have a word with Superman about this. Though not yet. He had to get home - hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned, and Lois could easily be the devil in disguise. He picked up his jacket, and walked to his car.

Alright - I'd like to hear your opinions. And please, don't just say you hate it; specify what you have problems with (if its the premise of Jason and co. from SR, then I'm sorry, but I can't change that).


Edit - I've made a few small edits to the dialogue, which I've highlighted by brackets in italics.

Well, I guess if you can't say something nice, you should say nothing.


.....crickets chirping in the backround.

ouch you cuttin him deep Matt! t:

It was well written but sadly yea you had to use the badly written back story of SR, and all that jazz with the kid was well bad.
But your witting itself wasn't bad.
heh a bit corny.... But not bad.

 

[wellsy]

ouch you cuttin him deep Matt! t:

It was well written but sadly yea you had to use the badly written back story of SR, and all that jazz with the kid was well bad.
But your witting itself wasn't bad.
heh a bit corny.... But not bad.

Well, thanks anyway, but I'm not going to change the premise (the sequel is virtually confirmed [Edit - Good Lord! Did I actually say that? Oh, the wonderful irony of hindsight ], so I suppose all we can really do is try to make MoS as good as we can).