The dumbest thing you have ever done while drunk/high/otherwise chemically impaired

[JLBats]

Mine was buying 15 dollars worth of hot dogs.
Well, that's the jokey one anyway, I've done some dumber, less funny stuff.

However, I invite tragic stories too!

 

[FatalEnergy]

Went to my high school senior prom stoned beyond belief.

Paranoia set in.

bad times.


however I am happy to note that so far that has been my only bad trip.

 

[chaseter]

I have been drunk multiple times but not pass out drunk. I have done many crazy things but I don't regret a single thing so far

 

[Ronny Shade]

I'm gonna go with pissing out of a two story window...and then not being able to get the screen back in.

 

[Speedball]

I've made out with so many people while drunk it's not even funny... but there are two that I really regretted...

 

[JLBats]

I've made out with so many people while drunk it's not even funny... but there are two that I really regretted...

Oh, we're gonna need details.

 

[Speedball]

Oh, we're gonna need details.

Really...
Well here goes
One party, I got drunk, made out with one guy, and went home with him. We didn't do anything but make out. Tried to start dating him, then learned he already had a bf, and he stopped talking to me.
The second time, me and another guy made out all over at this party, we went to my place. We did more than make out... Dated him for two months, then he dumps me so he can be a ****e again...

 

[JLBats]

You made it depressing, I was hoping it'd be like "Made out with my cousin/a goat/a drunken leprechaun".

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Driving

 

[knowsbleed]

I need to stay out of this thread... I'd never be able to leave.

 

[BeserkerHilf]

well the first time i got drunk i tried to punch through a piece of floorboard to see if I could use it for a movie I was going to shoot the next month (was trying to build a breakaway garage door...besides the point). still have the scar as a reminder of the first time.

however, my 21st was a cluster**** of a night. I had been dating this girl and she was really growing on me but there was a communication problem. also, i had a history with this other girl. she's a complete ****, but i wanted to bang her. still a virgin, that's vital to the story.

so we were on our fourth bar. i'm looking around the place at all these chicks and thinking i could probably have a more open communication with them. so then i text my roommate saying i want to break up with this girl. then i text the other girl asking if i'm making a mistake trying to make a long-distance relationship work with my girlfriend.

long story short, i was pining for one and trying to **** the other. i blacked out, didn't remember leaving the bar, and when we got back to the house, i regained consciousness when my buddy was pouring peroxide on my hand because i had punched through a car window. that's gonna leave a scar too.

the next night, we break up and i'm back to being miserable.

 

[Dew k. Mosi]

I fell down a flight of stairs in slow motion as a joke, rolling down them the whole way shouting in a slow motion voice, "Jeeesusss.... mooooother maaaary..... heeeeelp meeee.... lorrrrrrdie Jeeeeeeesus......" until I got to the bottom and pretend like I was badly hurt until I looked up at the top of the stairs and everyone was laughing so hard they weren't making noise, just shaking with tears pouring out of their eyes.

In retrospect, I really really could have hurt myself

 

[Speedball]

You made it depressing, I was hoping it'd be like "Made out with my cousin/a goat/a drunken leprechaun".

Well the funniest thing happened while I was drunk over this weekend.
I went with my friend and his bf to his families house in NC over the weekend.
We started drinking around 7 and I didn't fall asleep till around 4.
When I had to go to the bathroom, my friends uncle and brother say what a nice ass I have.
As I'm going to the bathroom, I hear them through the door discussing it. I leave, and they smack my butt as I walk by...
Good times... good times...

 

[Eggyman]

I fell asleep in a deckchair on the roof of my building and woke up with pigeon poo on me

I told my mate that we were going to be brothers because I was going to marry his sister... I've never heard the end of that one.

I grabbed hold of the back of my mate's van after he left the pub. I thought it'd be funny. He didn't notice that I had done, started speeding down the road so I couldn't jump off. By the time I was able to get off I was a mile away from the pub... and my coat that was still in there. I never got it back.

I once woke up in a rough area. In a house with a girl and her mother after I'd met them both in a club the night before. I remember the mum virtually dragging me into their cab. I think I had sex that night, but I'm not entirely sure with which one of them

I'll think of more later. There's plenty of them.

 

[Silverstein]

-Kicked a tree because I thought it was mocking me with a jumping front kick (it was supposed to be a 540 but hey...I was drunk), turns out that in reality the tree WAS mocking me as I bounced off the tree, hit a car on the way down and caught the planet with my front tooth. I now have a fake tooth and a half.

-Laughed for an hour with a drunk mate at the time..Me other mates were getting pissed.

-Spoke like the Joker for five hours before The Dark Knight had even come out. I guess I was basing it off the trailer. "Tonight...People are going to die. I'm a man of my word...hahahahahahahaha...Gimme more drinks."

-Cooked a Chef-quality meal for friends. I can't remember how good it was because, again, I was drunk. They said it was the best I've ever done. Not fair.

-On the topic of doing things better drunk, I seem to be: A better cook, a better artist, smarter, more charming, faster and stronger. Verified by sober people.

-Had a pleasant conversation with me mum. This is the most shocking out of all of them, take my word for it.

 

[Logan's Runt]

Tipped ass backwards off a brick wall- eight feet straight down- cracked a rib on landing and rolled down a hill.

 

[Silverstein]

Tipped ass backwards off a brick wall- eight feet straight down- cracked a rib on landing and rolled down a hill.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall....

 

[Eggyman]

Leave him outta diss.

 

[Lantern Venom]

I don't have any drunken stories because, to be honest, I hate alcohol. However, I do have one humorous story along these lines. I was eating lunch with a friend who was ordering while I was watching a TV in the corner.

When our orders came, I noticed she had a cool, tall glass of tea. I deicded to steal a big gulp. I didn't realize that the words Long Island had preceded the word tea when she ordered. With my mouth on fire, I spit the drink out like I was Godzilla. It went all over the place.

 

[Shedhut]

I don't have any drunken stories because, to be honest, I hate alcohol. However, I do have one humorous story along these lines. I was eating lunch with a friend who was ordering while I was watching a TV in the corner.

When our orders came, I noticed she had a cool, tall glass of tea. I deicded to steal a big gulp. I didn't realize that the words Long Island had preceded the word tea when she ordered. With my mouth on fire, I spit the drink out like I was Godzilla. It went all over the place.

it's the sober equivalent of me on holidays, hungover and drained, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge to find out my dad filled ouzo in it to save taxes on our trip home

 

[Noon]

Mine is for 'other'.

I was at a friends party which was held at this big house in the country. Most of the party was going on outside, where there was a big trampoline and a bouncy castle! There was also a lot of alcohol and stuff, but I didn't get that drunk. Anyway the party was awesome, I was bouncing on the castle with a bunch of kids for ages, then went to dance like crazy in this little wooded area where people were listening to music, then went back to bouncing on the castle.

Anyway, the time came around 2am that everyone was heading off to sleep. I was sleeping in a tent with four other people.It was a crowded party. I ended up getting no sleep as it was freezing, uncomfortable, and my 'other' is quite well known for keeping you buzzed and awake.

I got up out of the tent with some difficulty and wandered around the garden and the deflated castle for a while while the sun was coming up. I found my friend, who was the only other person there also taking the same as me, lying on the big trampoline. He had been awake all night too.

It was about 4am now, and both of had had no sleep and were still pretty buzzed. We thought it would be a good idea to just walk back to town where I lived, this was about 12-15 miles away, as no one would be up at this time to drive us. We got a big litre bottle full of water (so thirsty!) and all our stuff. A farmer gave us directions cause we weren't quite sure where we were.

The sun was fully in the sky by the time we had left and it was soooo hot. It turned into one of the hottest days that year. We were walking for what seemed like ages on this dirt road between some fields. We were both sweating and acting like we were trekking through the sahara or something. Eventually we came to the real road and could just see the town.

Our water was low! Which was kinda good cause it was feckin heavy, but bad cause we were incredibly thirsty and hot. We made it to about half a mile outside of town before we both gave up and put our thumbs out. I guy in a landrover eventually stopped to give us a lift. He thought we were berry pickers because we were up so early and out round the fields.

We got dropped at the local supermarket which we had to wait about 10 before it opened, so it must have been just before 9am. We went in to the cafe and got a big fry up When we got back to my house we took a big bean bag out to my garden and fell asleep in the sun. I woke up when it started to rain later that afternoon.


And that was the sweatiest day of my life...

 

[Silverstein]

I don't have any drunken stories because, to be honest, I hate alcohol. However, I do have one humorous story along these lines. I was eating lunch with a friend who was ordering while I was watching a TV in the corner.

When our orders came, I noticed she had a cool, tall glass of tea. I deicded to steal a big gulp. I didn't realize that the words Long Island had preceded the word tea when she ordered. With my mouth on fire, I spit the drink out like I was Godzilla. It went all over the place.

 

[Lantern Venom]

Yeah, it looked alot like that except I'm not a cute Asian girl.

 

[JayCaz]

One night I ended up going for a drink with one of the top MMA fighters in Britain & his friends, he'd been dating my female flatmate & invited me along.

Got drunk beyond belief, went back to his brand new house, fell asleep on his brand new suede sofa, and pissed my pants. My friend somehow managed to prevent me getting guillotined.

Good times.

 

[Shedhut]

One night I ended up going for a drink with one of the top MMA fighters in Britain & his friends, he'd been dating my female flatmate & invited me along.

Got drunk beyond belief, went back to his brand new house, fell asleep on his brand new suede sofa, and pissed my pants. My friend somehow managed to prevent me getting guillotined.

Good times.

Winner! I even felt embarassed reading it^^