The Giant-Killers

[PrinceMarvel]

I hope this is a good place to put this.

I am an aspiring writer, and I have loads of ideas for stories. As an aspiring writer I welcome critisms because they help me to become a better writer.

I am going to be posting a story idea that I have been working on recently, and I would love to hear any postive or negative criticism you may have.


---


The Giant-Killers is a team of characters from myths, legends, fairy tales and fables who come together to fight Ares, who has declared war on all of humanity.

The members of this team are (In order of appearance)
Orpheus

Hua Mulan

Sinbad the Sailor

Jack Horner (a combination of Jack and the Bean-Stalk, Little Boy Blue, Jack be Nimble and Little Jack Horner),

Talos (a man made of iron),

Mulrisc (the pirate daughter of an Irish king),

Charles (the huntsman from Snow White ) and Phillip Thomas (the Beast from Beauty and the Beast)(Charles and Phillip are twins),

Elizabeth (a combination of Snow White, Cinderella and Molly Whuppie),

Rosabell (a combination of Little Red Riding Hood, Belle from 'Beauty and the Beast', Rose Red from 'Snow White and Rose Red' and one of Cinderella's step-sisters.

Marigold (a combination of Goldilocks, Rapunzel, and Cinderella's other step-sister)

Perseus (the son of Zeus, he will be replacing Orpheus)

Rumpelstiltskin (I thought about having him as the villain, but I didn't want

Patrick Thomas (the Pied Piper, who, in this story, is Charles and Phillip's older brother)

Robin Hood (Not actually Robin Hood, but a character based of him (his name won't be Robin Hood either))

---

VillainS

At first, it'll only appear as if there is one villain, which will be Ares, but eventually there will be revealed that their are four villains who are eached based off of one of the apocalyptical four horsemen. And because I am open to criticism, I am going to go ahead and reveal all four of them

Apollo will be the the white horseman of conquest (actually, I call the white horseman false peace.)

Ares will be the red horseman of war.

Dionysus will be the black horseman of famine.

Hermes will be the pale horseman of death.

---
I am for sure going to be using Apollo and Ares as two of the horsemen, and I do like the combination that I have because of the fact that they are all half-brothers.

Even though, either Hades or Thanatos would have been an obvious choice for death, I wanted someone who was of a younger generation than Hades, like a cousin of Apollo and Ares. Then I read of Hermes as a death god due to his role of bringing the dead to the underworld, and I choose him.

As far as famine, I wasn't sure who to use. In the bible, when it talks of the black horseman, the horseman says not to hurt the wine, which is why I thought of Dionysus.

---
Please respons with criticism. Do you like? Why? Do you not like it? Why? Have any suggestions for any of the characters? What? Want more information on my characters, maybe how and why they join the team, ask me, and I'll post it.

 

[queendarkness12]

I'd like to see more info about the characters.

You can have a look at my page to see my own characters too.

 

[PrinceMarvel]

Jack Hornet (I've actually started thinking about changing his last name) is Jack from "Jack and the Bean-Stalk" he is the son of Jack from "Jack the Giant-Killer". His story is more or less that of "Jack and the Bean-Stalk", with a few exceptions, he is not a jerk like he was in the beginning of the story, and has a lot of respect for his mother. The reason he is attracted to the beans, is not because of his mischievous nature, bot because the beans were a tool in which to find "the chosen one" which is supposed to be Jack. Since Jack is supposed to be my main character, he will now be the first one introduced.

Talus is a man made from iron. This character is probably the first robot ever to ever be in a story, as he was created back in the late 1500s. He is part of an unfinished epic poem written by Edmund Spenser called "The Faerie Queene'. He was a gift from the Greek goddess Astraea. Artegal, was supposed to be Edmund Spenser's personification of Justice. Talus, being a man or iron and not having any emotions, was supposed to personify justice without mercy. In my story, which is set after Artegal's death, Talus will have been given sentience as a reward for faithfully serving Artegal, an act which was meant to be a gift, but Talus will come to recognize it as a curse because, now that he has emotions, it means he must watch everyone he cares about die.
In the story of Jack and the Bean-Stalk, Jack meats a fairy who introduces herself as an ally of his fathers, for the purpose of my story, Talus will replace the fairy.

Orpheus is a character from Greek mythology. He was a musician, who played to good that he could even enchant rocks and trees. He was one of the Argonauts, and he fell in love and was supposed to marry an oak nymph named Eurydice, but on their wedding day, she was raped and killed. In turn, Orpheus forsook the Greek gods, except for Apollo. This made his original deity, Dionysus. jealous and he sent his Maenads to tear him apart. As my story takes place in the Iron Age, Orpheus will not be killed by the Maenads, they will attempt, but he will be rescued by Hermes and brought to Apollo. Apollo then tells Orpheus that Ares has declared war on humankind, and he wants Orpheus to find a "chosen one" who will lead a team of heroes to end Ares' war. Orpheus will be told that should he be successful he will be awarded by having Eurydice come back to life. He is given some magic beans and the horse Arion so that he will be able to get to his destination quicker.
Orpheus will also have a role in "Jack in the Bean-Stalk" he will be the one to give Jack the beans.

Muirisc is the daughter of the Irish king, Ugaine Mor, she is also a pirate. Upon their arrival back to mainland Europe, Muirisc will attack the ship that Jack, Talus and Orpheus are on. Having taken them captive, she hears of their quest and decides to join them, temporarily leaving her ship with her first mate.

 

[PrinceMarvel]

Hua Mulan is the champion of China. Her story is pretty much the same. She dresses up as a man to join the Chinese Army because her father is too old, and her brother is too young. My team is pretty much made up of people who join the team for adventure, love and whatever else. But I have three people who join through recruitment. Jack is recruited by Orpheus because he is considered the 'chosen one', Orpheus is recruited by Apollo to find the chosen one, and Hua Mulan is recruited by the Jade Emperor because he believes Ares' war involves all human kind. To aid her in her fight against Ares he gives her a portion of his powers, plus either the Monkey King's staff or Masamune's sword. (I know Masamune lived like almost a millennium after my story takes place, but if I decide to use the sword, the Jade Emperor would have taken it from the future to allow Mulan to use it, but she wouldn't be allowed to say anything about the sword's origin, or to allow anyone to try and duplicate it.)

Sinbad the Sailor has already finished his seven voyages, and although he is retired, he secretly awaits a chance to go on another adventure. Hua Mulan, on her way to meet Orpheus and Jack, travels through Persia where she meets Sinbad the Sailor and his ally, Sinbad the Porter. When he hears of Hua Mulan's quest, he decided that this is the adventure he must go on and goes with her. Sinbad the Porter also decides to go.
Sinbad the Porter never becomes a member of the team, he was be a tragedy of Jack, Talus, Orpheus and Muirisc's first fight against Ares. It'll be during this battle that Hua Mulan, Sinbad the Sailor, and two other characters meet up with the first quartet.

Charles and Phillip Thomas are twins. I was going to use a version of the fairy tale of "How Geirald the Coward was Punished", but now I'm thinking of going with a version of Puss in Boots, but having Charles fill in the role of Puss. It will be called "Charles and Phillip" which will also be a play off of Castor and Pollux, which is where my inspiration for their names comes from.
As I said, they are twins. Charles is a great hunter, he has even killed a few ogres and giants; but, he is so humble, that he will take credit for his feats and gives the credit to Phillip.
Phillip eventually becomes a king, and never forgets that it was his brother that put him in this position, and makes him a royal adviser (similar relationship to Pharaoh and Joseph). As a king, he goes to many kingdoms in order to find a bride, and he is always accompanied by his brother. One such kingdom he goes to, is ruled by an evil witch, who disguises herself as a young beautiful maiden to try and woo in Phillip, her spell almost works, if it hadn't been for the secret intervention of Charles who is able to see through her enchantment and warns Phillip. In retaliation for being rejected, the queen turns Charles into a beast, resembling a large wolf (I'm thinking of making him either a man/wolf hybrid, or making him a full on werewolf, with the exception that his bite, wouldn't do anything to anyone else.)
Phillip tries to ask the witch to change his brother back into human form. She says that is Phillip takes his step-daughter out into the woods and kills her, and brings back her heart as proof, she will reverse the spell. He takes the girl to the woods, but his heart prevents him from killing her, and tells her to flee. Instead of returning, to the witch, he goes to look for his brother and to do what he can to help Phillip. After awhile, Charles finds Phillip in the home of an elderly man and his daughter, and manages to save him from killing them. Because of Phillip and Charles' bond, and the fact that they are twins. Whenever Phillip is nearby Charles, Charles is able to control himself.

 

[PrinceMarvel]

Elizabeth is a combination of Snow White and Cinderella. Her father is a king (Snow White) but her mother is dead (Snow White & Cinderella). Her father falls in love again and remarries (Snow White & Cinderella) and her new step-mother has two daughters of her own (Cinderella). Elizabeth is also forced to do all the work around the castle (Cinderella); however, unlike Cinderella's step-sisters, Elizabeth's step-sisters are not wicked, and one of them is actually secretly friends with Elizabeth.
The step-mother is a witch, and she is jealous of Elizabeth's beauty, and she does hire a hunter to try and killer, but it doesn't go any further than that, the Snow White part of the story doesn't progress far enough for the step-mother to try and poison her with an apple. Instead of going living with the seven dwarfs Elizabeth stays with the huntsman.

Rosabell is part Little Red Riding Hood, part Rose Red and part Belle. She is one of Elizabeth's step-sister and is the one who is friends with her. She only keeps her friendship secret because she fears her step-mother. She fears her mother, because she believes that her mother killer her father.
Rosabell likes to take walks, and she loves walking through the forest, and on one such walk, she comes across a cottage where she finds her father. After his wife tried to kill him, he sought refuge in the forest. He built a cottage near the castle, but out of sight so that he could keep an eye on his daughters.
When, Rosabell finds out that her mother tries to have Elizabeth killed, she herself runs away to live with her dad. One day, while she was with her dad, they were attacked by an unusually large wolf, but were saved by the timely intervention of a hunter. Rosabell recognizes the hunter as the one that was hired by her mother to kill Elizabeth, he explains that he only allowed the queen to use him because she turned his brother into the unusually large wolf and he was trying to get her to change him back. However, he also explained that he could not go through with the murder, and just as he said that Rosabell sees Elizabeth who has been travelling with the huntsman and the wolf. Rosabell decides to join with the trio, but her father decides to to stay behind, because he is still in love with his ex-wife.

Marigold is my version of Goldilocks. She is Elizabeth's other sister. She is unaware of her mother's attempt to kill her father, and desperately wishes to please her mother. Like Rosabell, she is not wicked, but at the same time she is mean to Elizabeth, but only because it seems to please her mother. She is unaware of Elizabeth and Rosabell's friendship. Rosabell does not tell her either, because she knows that if she did Marigold, in attempt to please their mother, would probably tell her.
After Rosabell runs away, Marigold does start to distance herself from her mother. She started taking walks in the forest, because it makes her feel close to her sister, during one such walk, she comes across an area in the forest where she sees three bears dressed like humans and leaving their house; curious, she goes into the house where she has the same experience as Goldilocks. After she leaves the house, she comes across a area of the forest where she sees Rosabell, Elizabeth her father, a wolf and a man. She's surprised to see her father as she though he was dead.
She tries to convince Rosabell into going home again, but when she cannot she decides to not do so either and stays with the group.



I am changing what I said in my last post a bit.

Hua Mulan and the two Sinbads meet up with Orpheus before he cross the water to meet Jack, Sinbad the sailor is the one who captains the ship that they cross on. Hua Mulan and the two Sinbads do not go to meet Jack, but instead stay in the ship, until Orpheus returns with him.

 

[PrinceMarvel]

Pinocchio is the character from Carlo Collodi's book "The Adventures of Pinocchio", however, since this story takes place after the adventures in the book, Pinocchio will be human and older than he was in the book.
I'm going to give Pinocchio an addition back story that happens before Collodi's book which will explain how the tree was magical, and it may or may not extend to all the trees in the forest where Pinocchio came from.

Patrick Thomas is the older brother to Charles and Phillip. Even though his name is Patrick, he will actually be using the name Peter as a first name. He is the main character in the story of the Pied Piper, because he is the oldest, it was his job to take care of his parents, which allowed Charles and Phillip to go on their adventures.
Their will come a point in the story where Marigold will betray the team to her mother (still desperately trying to earn her mother's pleasure), She will then finally come to realize that she cannot please her mother (and why she cannot please her mother) and help the team escape, and then temporarily quit. She will then be captured by her mother and locked in a tower (making her also like Rapunzel). Peter will then help Marigold escape and the two will return and join the team.

Perseus is from Greek mythology, he joins after Orpheus' death at the hands of the four horsemen, which will be revealed as being Apollo, Ares, Dionysus and Hermes (all half-brothers). Perseus, who also happen to be one of their half-brothers, will ride in on Pegasus and help the team escape and he will join the team. Unlike Orpheus, who was more of a mentor to the team instead being a member of the team, Perseus will be a member of the team.
Perseus' presence will also cause a shift in genres (sort of), up until this point, the story is going to look and feel like a fantasy story, but in reality it's not suppose to be, it's suppose to be science fiction, and Perseus will be the one to reveal this. I decided to include Perseus as a member of my team after I finally decided who my four Horsemen were going to be. And since my four horsemen were all half-brothers, I decided to use Perseus who was also their half-brother.


Since Perseus is now my twelfth member, Rumpelstiltskin will now just be an ally of the team.
This story sort of started out as a Star Wars inspired story with Jack and other fairy tale characters and places in place of the the Star Wars characters and places, and I originally envisioned Rumpel as my version of Yoda, so I may again give him that position, and he'll probably travel with the team, without actually being a member of the team.

Robin Hood will be the actual character, but instead of being in England during the time of King Richard and Prince John, he will be there much earlier. The original ballads of Robin Hood were actually kind of vague as to when they took place, so I just decided to place them within the first century for the purpose of this story.
He will not be a member of the team, but an ally. The team will have to journey to Sherwood Forest for an artifact that will allow them to defeat the four horsemen.

 

[PrinceMarvel]

I've decided to change Elizabeth, Rosabell and Marigold's names. They will now be Snow White, Belle and Rapunzel so that, like my other characters, their names will be the same as the main fairy tale characters they are based off of, but they will still be step-sisters.