The Marriage Race

[AndThePickles]

Greg's post does provide a new thread idea, entirely, though- the sleeping around thing. I will agree that there is certainly a lust over love "trend," although I hesitate to term it as a trend (just can't think of what else to call it, ha). Or, it's interesting to consider that things are becoming more "extreme," with one spectrum being those who rush into marriage, and the other those who NEVER want to get married and just maintain that player status forever.

 

[JRPJCDJC]

One subject that I find to be quite perplexing nowadays is many people's attitude regarding marriage. It seems like people I went to school with are constantly getting married, getting engaged, or getting pregnant. At the age of 22, I can't help but wonder, what's the rush? For the women out there who say they really want children, it's not like their biological clock is ticking very fast when they're under 25 years old.

It truly does feel like some regard it as a race...very "who's going to get engaged/married/knocked up first?!" Ever since the first couple I knew got engaged, people have been saying, "Oh, you and your boyfriend are next!" And I'm consistently going, "Um, not likely." The people I know who are married or engaged have been dating (including the being married time) for a shorter amount of time than I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend. I know a couple that got engaged after only ONE month of dating! Some people seem to expect me to hold the attitude that I've "fallen behind" in the race, but instead, I just feel like some of the people I know are forcing things forward for themselves.

With each passing year, comments such as, "Oh, so have you and your boyfriend talked about getting married?" Me- "Yup, for a long time now." Them- "Oooo, so are you getting engaged soon?!" Me- "Probably not." *awkward silence*

I fully trust and love my partner. We are completely dedicated to each other, and I am excited for marriage, but I think it's smart to wait until the time feels right and both people are financially prepared. One married couple I know ended up moving back in with her parents because they can't afford to live together with their children. So, why not be careful to wait and have kids until you can afford it? (Or, just not have them at all, ever But I understand that most people actually enjoy kids )

For those who are married, how long did you wait to do so? What made you decide to when you did? For everyone- do you feel that this "marriage race" is a generational issue and only applies to the current generation?

Follow your most basic, carnal instincts and you'll surely find what everyone should be focusing on.

Life is in a serious degression it seems. I blame porn, tattoos, and television.

Porn? WTF is the point of THAT??? I could have done without that, seriously.

Tattoos? Yeah, I have tattoos. But unlike 99.9% of everyone else with tattoo's - I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I"M DOING!!! Honestly, do people really like getting tagged like a piece of damn cattle?

Televison? I can hardly watch the stuff anymore. Between the commercials and non-stop sexual references there is nothing but reality shows and edited movies I've seen 10 times already.

 

[Red Cherry Lips]

There's no need for marriage if that's what a couple wants.

As far as myself, I dated my husband for six months before he proposed. On our second date we kinda knew we had something special. We waited a year to get married to save money for the wedding. By that time we were 27 and 29. We've been together 12 years. No kids. No need but not preventing.

Life's pretty swell.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

As cliched as it may sounds, when you know you've found that right person why wait?

Mind you a lot of people swear up and down the KNOW things are gonna work out and they don't, but some folks get married quickly and stay together for decades.

Because you don't know that after 6 months.

 

[Wylie Times]

Because you don't know that after 6 months.

At the same time you could argue that some people don't know after 6 years.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

At the same time you could argue that some people don't know after 6 years.

Compared to six months? I'll take it. My parents were together 5 years before marrying and are still together (after over 20 years).

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

From my perspective on getting married I think it comes more from a point of view of having more financial security in that with a husband you'll have another source of income on top of your own. I can tell you right now being single for me really sucks because I'm always stressing out over money and bills. The worst thing for me is worrying each week whether or not I'm going to have food to eat because I have to ply 95% of my check towards bills. Yes, there is that whole love thing that factors into it for me but I also want a guy that at least has a steady, decent job because I hate worrying about my money situation all the time.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Everyone listen very closely. If you can avoid marriage and still manage to be happy. DO IT.

 

[Star]

One of my friends is actually engaged right now (She's 22) Recently she told me that if she wasn't married by the age of 25, she would feel worried and alone. I told her to go screw herself.... I can't imagine being married until I'm at LEAST 25, and even that seems really early....

 

[Knightsaber Priss]

One of my friends is actually engaged right now (She's 22) Recently she told me that if she wasn't married by the age of 25, she would feel worried and alone. I told her to go screw herself.... I can't imagine being married until I'm at LEAST 25, and even that seems really early....

I'm 36 and I've never been married at all, though I know that there are people alot older than me who've never been married at all. The key though is to get married for all the right reasons, not the wrong ones. You don't want to be stuck with a guy/girl that is absolutely wrong for you just because you were struck with the urge to get married. You shouldn't put your expectations extremely high for a prospective mate, but yet you shouldn't have to settle for someone who is not every bit your equal.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I've actually been getting this a lot lately. My physician even said the other day that most people my age must be married by now. The she kinda backtracked and said it really isnt unusual for people to get married in their 30's or even 40's. I was thinking "My parents were in their 30's when they got married. Dad was nearly 40 when I came along. I see no need to rush. I'm only 28."

At a friends wedding reception two years ago, another (married) buddy asked me when I was going to "man up and get a girlfriend." I told him it would happen when I was damn good and ready. Sheesh, people gotta get married ASAP or something...

I love this phrase, like there's a girlfriend store or something. Got this from family members for a long time, asking why I didn't have a girlfriend. It wasn't that I wasn't going out with girls, it just wasn't working out with those girls and I'm not going to go out with someone just to have a girlfriend. I've got a great girlfriend now though and everything's going well, sure it may have taken some time to meet her, but so be it. That said it's only been 4 months and I know we're still in that "honeymoon/infatuation" stage, we both want to get married and have kids, eventually, but there's no need to rush right now, just want to have a great time dating her.

 

[BlackLantern]

Society has conditioned us to be co-dependent....that we need someone constantly there to validate our existence