The Official "Ask A Teddy Bear" Thread!!!

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by TEDDY, Dec 30, 2004.

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  1. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    [​IMG]


    With Peacekeeper complaining about how boring it is at 2:30 IN THE MORNING and my friend Mr. T currentley on vacation, I figure I'd try my luck at informing the general public.

    So, go on. Ask me anything.
     
  2. Lackey

    Lackey Registered

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    Why do teddy bears make my naughty parts tingle? :confused:
     
  3. Bathrat

    Bathrat Registered

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    if ducks could type, would they type coherent sentences, or 'quack quack'?
     
  4. Klxnt

    Klxnt Registered

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    How does it feel when you are getting fuzz shoved up your anus?
     
  5. Nero_Ordin

    Nero_Ordin Registered

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    what makes mother bears so protective?
     
  6. Danger Mouse

    Danger Mouse Kitchen Appliance

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    Why the hell did the Chinese name a soft toy after an American President??
     
  7. Klxnt

    Klxnt Registered

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    They didn't.
     
  8. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    [​IMG]

    It has something to do with events in your childhood. I'm guessing you had issues with your father growing up. When most children were playing catch and watching sports with their fathers, all your father was good for was getting drunk, kicking the family dog, and finding solace in his unemployment check. He never showed you any love, so the only love love you knew was from that of your childhood toy(presumably, a teddy bear).












    Oh, that and the fact that your blind grandmother bought you a teddy who was mistakingly manufactured to be (how shall I put this...) Better endowed than most toys.
     
  9. Danger Mouse

    Danger Mouse Kitchen Appliance

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    Yes, they did.
     
  10. Klxnt

    Klxnt Registered

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    Japan was making "Teddy" bears before the Theodore thing happend.

    This happend later:

    The cartoon drew immediate attention. In Brooklyn, NY, shopkeeper Morris Michtom displayed 2 toy bears in the window of his Stionary and novilty store. The bears had been made by his wife, Rose from plush stuffed excelsior and finished with black shoe button eyes. Michtom recognized the immediate popularity of the new toy, requested and received permission from Roosevelt himself to call them "Teddy's Bears


    EDIT: how the hell did you get your Join Date like that?
     
  11. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    [​IMG]

    They would type coherent sentences, but they wouldn't use spellcheck, so their messages would look like a transcript for a Daffy Duck/Donald Duck cartoon, so most people wouldn't understand it anyways.

    Besides ducks aren't interested in chatting on the web, just finding illegal porn.
     
  12. Danger Mouse

    Danger Mouse Kitchen Appliance

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    FINALLY, someone noticed!!!

    :up:

    Have a cookie.
     
  13. CConn

    CConn Fountainhead of culture.

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    I noticed...I just didn't say. :o

    and how did you do that?
     
  14. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    Painful. Very, very painful.:( Why do you think us teddy bears don't celebrate Thanksgiving? The turkey is a painful reminder of the event for us. For those of you who have no idea what it's like, think diahrea in reverse.

    Do you feel like eating turkey now?
     
  15. Wiseman

    Wiseman Registered

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    How can I get the girl of my dreams to fall in love with me?
     
  16. Danger Mouse

    Danger Mouse Kitchen Appliance

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    Well, this is a "Ask A Teddy Bear" thread. Lets get him to answer that one...
     
  17. Klxnt

    Klxnt Registered

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    Thank you... but im Diabetic.

    How did you do it though?

    Teddy... seeing turky with stuff shoved up his ass just makes me all the more eager to eat it.

    You see, most turkeys are gender confused. I think they enjoy the ass shoving.
     
  18. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    [​IMG]

    Maternal instincts, I guess. All moms want to protect their children from the dangers in life.


    But if you want to talk over protective, try messing with the children of some suburban, mini van driving Soccer Mom one day and see how you fair. Man, those chicks don't play around.
     
  19. Danger Mouse

    Danger Mouse Kitchen Appliance

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    Easy. I'm one of those early ones. Right after the concept of World Wide Web was launched, I signed up with SHH.
     
  20. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    [​IMG]

    Actually, the teddy was originally of Russian decent, created in the late 19th century by a lady working in as a textile/clothing maker.

    It was later brought overseas in the early 20th century, where the name Teddy stuck. The Chinese nor the Russians named the bear after Rosevelt. It was an American that did that.

    Personally, I don't mind being named after a President. It's kinda cool, in a way.
     
  21. Klxnt

    Klxnt Registered

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    You look poorly made, like a hobo's creation.

    Where did you come from?
     
  22. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    [​IMG]


    One word:

    MONEY!!!

    Not saying that all women are gold-diggers, just saying that it helps.




    Oh, and it also helps if your extremly well endowed. JUST ASK BOB!
     
  23. Wiseman

    Wiseman Registered

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    What if I already have her tied up in my basement, can I still give her money to love me?
     
  24. TEDDY

    TEDDY Da BEAR!

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    ...Click your heels together three times and say the magic word?
















    ...Oh, and it helps to have Mob connections who know where all the MODs live.
     
  25. Klxnt

    Klxnt Registered

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    If you have a knife to her throat, you can give her dog poo and she will still love you.
     
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