The Parker Doctrine

[Spider-Aziz]

*Sigh* You people had a great chance to troll Parker into a DarkSentinel level meltdown with Nomar Garciaparra, and you BLEW IT!

Now I feel sorry most didn't back you up on this.

 

[SuperFerret]

Spoiler

Who are you? I mean, WHO are you? You pipebomb against me? I've been pipebombing before anyone knew what pipebomb was!

I've fought battled against Sawyer, battled him to best rivalry and best pair for it, won It Boy in 2013, transformed into It King, and was the former movie poster of the year. I ask again, who are you?

That's nice little soliloquy you got there, but it doesn't matter. I would have done anything to beat Sawyer, whether it was sell my username, sell my PS4, sell my house, and my first born, but of course, I simply had to sell my username for 2 years, but that's fine. Saywer needed to learn, and if I become Mrs. Saywer, it a hollow victory done under my control with my choice. He wins nothing, and he will always be under my thumb.

Everyone knows who I am, and everyone from that Batboards to the X-Men forums have heard, dreaded, and even feared the name Parker Wayne and have paid attention to these Deathmatches, which why Sawyer-Parker Wayne was the most voted Deathmatch so far.

While you breezing through Dirty Harry, and playing passive game of verbal patty-cake with E-Man, I was taking out the trash with Senty, and guaranteeing that once and for all, I am the dominant deathmatch poster over Sawyer. In fact, I know that before making your post, you were on your knees, begging the all-mighty God himself Mike Tyson how to combat the one and only Parker Wayne like this:













But like his prediction and actual fight with Evander Holyfield, Tyson was wrong, because no matter what name I go by, whether it's Parker Wayne, Park3r Wayn3, Mrs. Sawyer, Mr.Frostee, DarkSentinellover666, or Ilovecrabs69, I will still be known as a the ass-kicking, pie eating, self-deprecation spewing son of a b***h around here these parts.

I do have to give to credit to one thing. Unlike that cheerleader you spent so much time trying to stalk convince to dance with you who thought you reek of diaper full of Indian food, now you got the attention of the Great One. So you know what, we're gonna dance. We're gonna do some salsa, some merengue, some polka, and some breakdancing; and when you least expect it,

I'm going to register into the Smackdown hotel, show you a recipe from the Great One's Cookbook, and layeth the Smackdown all over your candy ass! IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?

[YT]CUNPUdl5Hyc[/YT]

 

[DarkSentinel]

Yep. Nobody can out-wuss you!

You traded sexual favors for your votes and you know it!!! Stop denying it, Clinton.

 

[E-Man]

***** please, no one melts down like me. Promo of the year material.

Think so? Here comes the rage.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/...nt-better-than-the-red-sox-normar-garciaparra

 

[Erzengel]

I'd pick something that hopefully won't be around in 2 years and be so outdated it'd be funny like Justin Beiber.

 

[Kane52630]

Match 3: JJJ's Ulcer vs JP
Match 4: Parker Wayne vs SuperFerret

 

[Spider-Aziz]

I'd pick something that hopefully won't be around in 2 years and be so outdated it'd be funny like Justin Beiber.

That name is still better than Mrs. Sawyer

 

[Spider-Aziz]

See, now here's a guy with sense.

My first name is part of one of those names, don't agree with him.

 

[DarkSentinel]

My first name is part of one of those names, don't agree with him.

Yeah well you would because you're a narcissist.

That said, one of them CLEARLY should've been DarkSentinelLover666.

Clearly.

 

[Piper Maru]

When does Parker's name change take place?

 

[Spider-Aziz]

When does Parker's name change take place?

After these messages.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

Think so? Here comes the rage.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/...nt-better-than-the-red-sox-normar-garciaparra

*Clears throat*

YOU SON OF A B***H! YOU KNOW THAT ARTICLE IS A FALSE PIECE OF DRIVEL BULLS**T. IF YOU WERE RIGHT NEXT TO ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AND WE WOULD ON THE STREET RUMBLING RIGHT NOW FOR EVEN UTTERING SUCH BLASPHEMOUS WORDS. YOU KNOW THAT UNDERTAKER MANKIND HELL IN A CELL MATCH. MY BEATING OF YOU WOULD MAKE THAT LOOK LIKE A CHILD'S TEA PARTY. OH YEAH, THAT BAD. THAT ARTICLE GOES TOO FAR AND DISRESPECTS THE LEGENDARY BI-RACIAL AND ALL HE HAS DONE FOR THE YANKEES AND NEW YORK IN GENERAL, NOT TO MENTION LOOK AT THIS TEAM OF WOMEN JETER DATED. LOOK AT IT. NOMAR COULD NEVER HAVE A LIST OF WOMEN DATED THAT HOT. JETER'S GOT SWAGGER.

NEVER MENTION AGAIN THAT JETER IS BETTER THAN NOMAR GARCIARPARRA UNLESS YOU WANT AN ASS-KICK BIGGER THAN THE SIZE OF TEXAS.

How's that for Senty-sized meltdown?

 

[Erzengel]

Jeter will probably get in on his first try.

 

[E-Man]

*Clears throat*

YOU SON OF A B***H! YOU KNOW THAT ARTICLE IS A FALSE PIECE OF DRIVEL BULLS**T. IF YOU WERE RIGHT NEXT TO ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE AND WE WOULD ON THE STREET RUMBLING RIGHT NOW FOR EVEN UTTERING SUCH BLASPHEMOUS WORDS. YOU KNOW THAT UNDERTAKER MANKIND HELL IN A CELL MATCH. MY BEATING OF YOU WOULD MAKE THAT LOOK LIKE A CHILD'S TEA PARTY. OH YEAH, THAT BAD. THAT ARTICLE GOES TOO FAR AND DISRESPECTS THE LEGENDARY BI-RACIAL AND ALL HE HAS DONE FOR THE YANKEES AND NEW YORK IN GENERAL, NOT TO MENTION LOOK AT THIS TEAM OF WOMEN JETER DATED. LOOK AT IT. NOMAR COULD NEVER HAVE A LIST OF WOMEN DATED THAT HOT. JETER'S GOT SWAGGER.

NEVER MENTION AGAIN THAT JETER IS BETTER THAN NOMAR GARCIARPARRA UNLESS YOU WANT AN ASS-KICK BIGGER THAN THE SIZE OF TEXAS.

How's that for Senty-sized meltdown?

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

How coincidental, I usually do the same Senty's meltdowns too.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

The change name request has been sent to Hunter.

Parker Wayne will not exist for the next two years as I will be known as Mrs. Sawyer. I better get a Ring from this.

 

[JP]

I'm glad 6 other people have sense.

 

[Sawyer]

The change name request has been sent to Hunter.

Parker Wayne will not exist for the next two years as I will be known as Mrs. Sawyer. I better get a Ring from this.

Spoiler

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

That works.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Spoiler

The sad part is, that's even fake candy.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

Sawyer lives in California, right? Califnornia law says I get half of his s**t!

 

[Sawyer]

Sawyer lives in California, right? Califnornia law says I get half of his s**t!

Good, that means you get 50% of DS's annoying responses to my our posts.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

I'm gonna claim half of Sawyer's LOST collection and have a bonfire.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Here, I picked out a first dance song for you two.

 

[Sawyer]

I'm gonna claim half of Sawyer's LOST collection and have a bonfire.

Don't push me to spousal abuse!