The Screenwriting Thread

[The Apatow Crew]

Whats yours about?

 

[Cmill216]

It's a crime comedy. It's a deconstruction of the romanticism of career criminals, like the John Dillingers of the world. It presents this idea that guys who rob banks and liquor stores are no different than guys with accounting jobs; this is what they do for a living, this is their 9 to 5.

 

[Doctor Jones]

Since my Left 4 Dead script was deleted, this gives me the opportunity to work on the second draft. I would love to have some input. Here's what I did have

Things from the game into the script -

- The opening prologue sequence but I'll probably cut that out
- The hospital and rooftop standoff sequence
- The church with the paranoid priest but with some changes
- Riverside
- airport but with no infected, some lingering though
- farm land, country side

What I came up with

- The whole motivation is to get to Fort Thompson, a safe zone in the mounatins
- Go to rooftop to signal anybody in hospital, Zoey grabs a tranciever
- They escape the rooftop, the pilot tells them how bad it is, he is infected they crash into a national park
- After a trek they go inside a ranger's outpost and they are surrounded by infected. next a Dog Soldiers like scene where Francis is a distraction and Zoey gets to a manhole. From here they go in the sewers
- After traveling, they come up from the sewers at night when it's raining. On the side of the road is the church, a priest turns into a smoker, but no infected come
- The group finds a van the priest drove and drive to Riverside, while infected follow them
- Stop at a gas station in Riverside but then realizing infected are chasing them get in, drive through a house and get to the boats.
- Zoey finds out she has been infected, after squabbling among the group, she is knocked out and finds herself awake in a military safe camp in the forest
- A whole community is set up here.
- The next night they are attacked by infected, and the group gets into a truck and follow a highway surrounded by forest with a military hummer
- A tank chases them and are forced to run on foot, the whole highway is littered with cars
- I think this time they'll get to another city and go to the airport
- They get themselves a plane and land in a farm
Fort Thompson is ahead

- I wanted Francis to sacrifice himself but I don't know if that will happen.

EDIT: Forgot to mention in the hosptial, I added an elevator sequence with the four of them when they escape from the patient infected. They feel a shake and Francis goes up to check. He screams but it's only a joke. Then they hear crawling and they discover they're crawling up the elevator shaft.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

I never played the game. But good luck to you writing it.

 

[thejon93]

Since my Left 4 Dead script was deleted, this gives me the opportunity to work on the second draft. I would love to have some input. Here's what I did have

Things from the game into the script -

- The opening prologue sequence but I'll probably cut that out
- The hospital and rooftop standoff sequence
- The church with the paranoid priest but with some changes
- Riverside
- airport but with no infected, some lingering though
- farm land, country side

What I came up with

- The whole motivation is to get to Fort Thompson, a safe zone in the mounatins
- Go to rooftop to signal anybody in hospital, Zoey grabs a tranciever
- They escape the rooftop, the pilot tells them how bad it is, he is infected they crash into a national park
- After a trek they go inside a ranger's outpost and they are surrounded by infected. next a Dog Soldiers like scene where Francis is a distraction and Zoey gets to a manhole. From here they go in the sewers
- After traveling, they come up from the sewers at night when it's raining. On the side of the road is the church, a priest turns into a smoker, but no infected come
- The group finds a van the priest drove and drive to Riverside, while infected follow them
- Stop at a gas station in Riverside but then realizing infected are chasing them get in, drive through a house and get to the boats.
- Zoey finds out she has been infected, after squabbling among the group, she is knocked out and finds herself awake in a military safe camp in the forest
- A whole community is set up here.
- The next night they are attacked by infected, and the group gets into a truck and follow a highway surrounded by forest with a military hummer
- A tank chases them and are forced to run on foot, the whole highway is littered with cars
- I think this time they'll get to another city and go to the airport
- They get themselves a plane and land in a farm
Fort Thompson is ahead

- I wanted Francis to sacrifice himself but I don't know if that will happen.

Sounds good. I don't know much about the game (I'm not much of a "gamer"). But, it certainly does sound like it would make a damn good action/survival movie. Things I would suggest:
-Now that you've got the basic concept, plot and story points down. Now, focus on how you're going to develop the characters. Their personalities, the way they speak, what they would individually do in a situation. Stuff like that.
-Practice formatting for a bit. Just to see what would work for telling the story; whether you're telling it like a novel or writing it like a legit screenplay.
-And, finally, good luck. Have fun with it. Take your time. And, who knows. It may come as help to you in the future.

 

[Doctor Jones]

Thank you. I forgot to mention it. Character was a central focus to me. That was the most fun I had writing was the characters. You have to care about them and like them most of all. I think I got that down, but I'll improve upon it when I write my second draft if I can.

The opening cut scene in the game gave me a great reference for them. Francis is the wise cracking one, Bill is the straigh laced on ( I make those two squabble in the script) Louis is the one who keeps it together and has common sense, and Zoey is a college girl who can manage herself. Francis serves as a big brother to her.

And another thing I'm questioning, do you think I should make it a fun and brainless zombie survival film or make it have meaning to it? I'm leaning towards the former and just have fun with it. But that doesn't mean I can't slack off and go kid in a candy store with it.

Is it possible to write a script and give it to a studio? Or damn I think legal trouble would step in. I gave credit to Valve on the title page for the game, does that help me? I would love to see this made on my script. Or givei t to other writers and collaborate with them if I get that far.

I definately want to add some suspense to it. The problem with my scrip it gets too repetetive. I want to reduce the hordes. But I want constant tension.

 

[thejon93]

Thank you. I forgot to mention it. Character was a central focus to me. That was the most fun I had writing was the characters. You have to care about them and like them most of all. I think I got that down, but I'll improve upon it when I write my second draft if I can.

The opening cut scene in the game gave me a great reference for them. Francis is the wise cracking one, Bill is the straigh laced on ( I make those two squabble in the script) Louis is the one who keeps it together and has common sense, and Zoey is a college girl who can manage herself. Francis serves as a big brother to her.

And another thing I'm questioning, do you think I should make it a fun and brainless zombie survival film or make it have meaning to it? I'm leaning towards the former and just have fun with it. But that doesn't mean I can't slack off and go kid in a candy store with it.

Is it possible to write a script and give it to a studio? Or damn I think legal trouble would step in. I gave credit to Valve on the title page for the game, does that help me? I would love to see this made on my script. Or givei t to other writers and collaborate with them if I get that far.

I definately want to add some suspense to it. The problem with my scrip it gets too repetetive. I want to reduce the hordes. But I want constant tension.

Personally, I'd recommend that you do take it to a studio to see if you can get it produced. However, just take it easy with writing it. Read through it repeatedly. Try and make the plot and characters co-exist. Don't worry about suspense. That's something you can find while making the movie itself. Just focus on writing the script. Take your time. Then, take it to get copyrights. Ugh, I don't know. It's very complicated. But, do your research online and you'll figure it out. And, all I can say is good luck.

 

[Doctor Jones]

Personally, I'd recommend that you do take it to a studio to see if you can get it produced. However, just take it easy with writing it. Read through it repeatedly. Try and make the plot and characters co-exist. Don't worry about suspense. That's something you can find while making the movie itself. Just focus on writing the script. Take your time. Then, take it to get copyrights. Ugh, I don't know. It's very complicated. But, do your research online and you'll figure it out. And, all I can say is good luck.

I live nowhere near a studio. How do you suppose I could contact them? I'll try to do some research though.

Thanks again!

 

[thejon93]

I live nowhere near a studio. How do you suppose I could contact them? I'll try to do some research though.

Thanks again!

I'm honestly not at all certain of how the studios work. If this is a property owned by a particular studio, I'd honestly have no idea on how to figure out which studio rightfully owns it. If it hasn't been bought, I'd presume any studio interested in the property may purchase it.

Anyhow, if they already have a 'Left 4 Dead' movie in the works and you discover that when you call them. Don't give up your script. Most of what you've writen is pretty different from the video game so you can change it up to make it feel "inspired" by the property, instead of fully "based" off of the property.

 

[Cmill216]

Not to derail your dream, but studios don't just take unsolicited material. You'd need to get an agent or some sort of representation before you can realisticly approach a studio.

 

[Doctor Jones]

Very true.

And I do believe no studio has bought the rights yet so I may be in luck. It's the matter of finishing it up and sending it to them before they do acquire the rights and start hiring writers.

 

[Cmill216]

Well, let me ask you this: how similar is your script to the plot of the game?

 

[Doctor Jones]

There really is no plot to the game. There is a campaign with the basic concept of getting to the next safe zone and shooting infected. There's like five maps. That's it. No plot at all.

So I just took the characters and some of the locations of the game and created a story of my own.

 

[The Squirrel]

I also think your only allowed to sell like one script without being a member of the WGA. I could be wrong though.

 

[Cmill216]

There really is no plot to the game. There is a campaign with the basic concept of getting to the next safe zone and shooting infected. There's like five maps. That's it. No plot at all.

So I just took the characters and some of the locations of the game and created a story of my own.

So why don't you just re-work the things you took from the game, re-name them and re-set them, and just call it something entirely different? That way you wouldn't have to deal with the whole rights issue. You're just going to make it harder on yourself if you try to sell a script you don't have the rights to.

 

[Doctor Jones]

So why don't you just re-work the things you took from the game, re-name them and re-set them, and just call it something entirely different? That way you wouldn't have to deal with the whole rights issue. You're just going to make it harder on yourself if you try to sell a script you don't have the rights to.

You mean like renaming the whole movie? I couldn't do that. I just want to do an adaption of the game. It would be hard for me to change the things.

Could I somehow contact the company Valve and let them know I'm working on a screenplay? I gave credit to them in the script. I know it sounds like a far off but it's just an idea.

 

[Cmill216]

You mean like renaming the whole movie? I couldn't do that. I just want to do an adaption of the game. It would be hard for me to change the things.

Could I somehow contact the company Valve and let them know I'm working on a screenplay? I gave credit to them in the script. I know it sounds like a far off but it's just an idea.

Why not?

You just said that the majority of the script is based on original ideas. So why would you chain yourself to the game, if the game plays very little into your actual script? If you alter some of things in your script that ties back to the game, you'll end up with something that's YOURS and yours alone. Then you won't even have to worry about having to approach the game studio, because it'd be YOUR own original script.

What I'm trying to tell you is that you're making this much harder than it needs to be, and you're trying to sell something you really can't sell. You're an unknown writer with no credentials. If what you're working on is already primarily original, why try to attach yourself to the slim hope that someone's going to read your script for a property that you don't own? You can't possibly think you're the only one out there trying to write and pitch a Left 4 Dead movie.

So why pigeonhole yourself into a faint possibility, when you can stick with what you've got and carve your own path?

 

[Doctor Jones]

That's true. But it kind of defeats the whole purpose of doing an adaption. And depsite me changing some things, it will be the same all around concept or seem like a rip-off of it.

And I said the only thing from the game I used was the characters and some of the lacations. That's it.

 

[Cmill216]

That's true. But it kind of defeats the whole purpose of doing an adaption. And depsite me changing some things, it will be the same all around concept or seem like a rip-off of it.

And I said the only thing from the game I used was the characters and some of the lacations. That's it.

No, it doesn't defeat the purpose. You were inspired by the game, but you don't have to be handcuffed to it. If the majority of your ideas are original, it doesn't make sense for you, a first time writer, to try to limit yourself to a property that isn't yours.

Characters and locations can change.

 

[Bunker]

So I've been thinking about writing a Spring Heeled Jack script for a while. I was thinking about having the story taking place in present-day London. The main character would be a Stockton Yard detective investigating a string of murders/attempted murders around London. He gets various descriptions of a masked/cloaked figure being the killer. The survivors of his attacks describe him as a man-creature capable of jumping extraordinarily high and having a masked face with only his glowing orange/yellow eyes being visible. While investigating the claims he uncovers evidence of murders/rapes/attacks that took place in 1800's England. While discovering more and more about the man-creature, he begins to get the feeling he's being "hunted" by it, which leads to several encounters with it. It's a very rough outline at the moment, as you can see, haha.

 

[The Apatow Crew]

I'm currently writing a Southern Ghost story you could call it.

It takes place in North Carolina and the land is a old plantation.

I've got a little bit into it. I've been watching movies that have to do with hauntings or ghosts.

If anyone has any ideas they think would be good for a movie like this just shout them out and i'll see if i could fit them into it somehow.

 

[Climperoonie]

I'm working on a script series based around a group of teenage symbiotes that I may turn into a Flash series later. I'm going to post some of episode 1 here and if you like it, I'll post the whole episode and then an episode a week afterwards. Here's the opening:

Spoiler

EXT. MACFARLANE CITY. DAY
The skyscrapers of MACFARLANE CITY rise up, silhouetted against the morning sun.

VOICE (V.O.)​

This is MacFarlane city. Home to nearly five million people. How many have special abilities? Not many, I can tell you that. But why do most of them seem to use their abilities for evil? I can't answer that one. But this is our story. The story of the League of Symbiotes.​

EXT. TENNANT APARTMENT BLOCK. DAY
The red-bricked building is tall, with approximately 30 stories.

VOICE (V.0)​

And this is where it begins.​

INT. APARTMENT 143. DAY
A brown-haired teenager sits on his chair watching TV. This is HENRY BAKER.

HENRY (V.O.)​

That's me. All my life involved back then was waking up.​

EXT. CITY STREET. DAY
Henry walks along in a crowd of people.
EXT. WAL-MART. DAY
Henry enters.
INT. WAL-MART. DAY
Henry, in a Wal-Mart uniform, stacks shelves.

HENRY (V.O.) (CONT’D)​

Going to work.​

EXT. TENNANT APARTMENT BLOCK. NIGHT
Henry enters.
INT. TENNANT APARTMENT BLOCK. NIGHT
Henry walks along, pulls out his keys and enters his apartment.

HENRY (V.O.) (CONT’D)​

Coming home.​

INT. HENRY'S APARTMENT. NIGHT
Henry pours water on a Pot Noodle and goes back into the sitting area, where he sits down and turns on the TV. He scoops a forkful of Pot Noodle into his mouth.

HENRY (V.O.) (CONT’D)​

Eating Dinner.​

Henry puts the pot in the bin and the fork in the sink and goes through to his bedroom.

HENRY (V.O.) (CONT'D)​

And going to bed. But one night, something happened. Something that would change my life - forever.​

Henry lays in bed, asleep. Outside, through the curtain, a light is visible moving towards the ground. As we zoom in, we see it is landing in the park. As we zoom back, we see Henry is sitting up and has also watched this. He climbs out of bed and walks to his wardrobe
EXT. HEMP PARK. NIGHT
A fully clothed Henry walks through the gate and into the park. He walks along the path, looking for the object. He spots it in the bushes, glowing in a small crater. He walks off the path and toward it. It's a small meteorite.

HENRY​

Wow....​

A thump comes from inside the rock. Henry drops it quickly in surprise. It breaks open, and reveals some green slime. Henry crouches down to look at it. The slime shifts. Then jumps. It lands on his chest and starts to spread over it. Henry cries out in surprise, and tries to rip it off but a piece just comes off and begins to cover his right hand, too.

HENRY (CONT'D)​

Help!​

He stumbles back and trips over a tree root. He smacks his head on a bench and lays there, unconscious, as the goo engulfs him.

 

[Assassin32]

Anybody have any experience with TV scripts? I have four feature length screenplays under my belt, and I want to start writing something for an episodic comedy series that I can film myself.

 

[Assassin32]

Anybody have any experience with TV scripts? I have four feature length screenplays under my belt, and I want to start writing something for an episodic comedy series that I can film myself.

 

[The Squirrel]

I don't. But it sounds interesting. I currently only have one short film script under my belt. (and a script for a trailer someone had me write, but I don't really count that one.)