eXperiment
...gone wrong.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2006
- Messages
- 7,319
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
eXperiment
I concur. I am in the planning stage of my screenplay also. 
The Screenwriting Thread
- Thread starter eXperiment
- Start date
Prison Mike
Don't drop the soap!
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2007
- Messages
- 45,093
- Reaction score
- 7,127
- Points
- 103
Once I'm finished with the screenplay, I'd like to enter it in some contests. There are competitions where you can get like $10,000. Would be nice to start paying my student loans off with that money. lol
jaymes_e06
Avenger
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2008
- Messages
- 20,644
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 31
^^^Yeah I know that's what I was thinking! But I think you would have to give them the rights to your character. Or am I wrong? I think If I don't get an option from any studios then I'll see what the contests are talking about. lol
SuperMonkey
Sidekick
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Messages
- 1,709
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=297414
Please read and review. I'll return the favor if anyone wants me to read theirs.
Please read and review. I'll return the favor if anyone wants me to read theirs.
Prison Mike
Don't drop the soap!
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2007
- Messages
- 45,093
- Reaction score
- 7,127
- Points
- 103
yeah that may be the case. If you have the next star wars on your hands, you may not want to give that up for a couple thousand dollars.
eXperiment
...gone wrong.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2006
- Messages
- 7,319
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
eXperiment
I agree completely. If you're work is brilliant in your eyes (and perhaps your friends' eyes) than you may be able to enter contests with prizes over $10,000.
I write my show (The Flask @ www.jstud.com. I have everything copyrighted, so if anyone would be interested.. I'm done for some good constructive criticism.
jaymes_e06
Avenger
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2008
- Messages
- 20,644
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 31
...or get a movie deal and be able to expand upon your universe with a sequel. The problem today is the only original ideas are on TV and even those come a dime a dozen in our reality TV addicted society.I agree completely. If you're work is brilliant in your eyes (and perhaps your friends' eyes) than you may be able to enter contests with prizes over $10,000.
...or get a movie deal and be able to expand upon your universe with a sequel. The problem today is the only original ideas are on TV and even those come a dime a dozen in our reality TV addicted society.
haha i hear you bro, every time I see another one of those dating reality shows (Flava Flav, Tila Tequila or w/e) I shake my head. Give me back some good ol' sitcoms.
**** Reality Tv
eXperiment
...gone wrong.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2006
- Messages
- 7,319
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
eXperiment
...gone wrong.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2006
- Messages
- 7,319
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
eXperiment
So, is anybody currently reading a screenplay. I am in the process of reading "Stranger Than Fiction". It is such a great film and great screenplay!
So, is anybody currently reading a screenplay. I am in the process of reading "Stranger Than Fiction". It is such a great film and great screenplay!
eXperiment
...gone wrong.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2006
- Messages
- 7,319
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
eXperiment
Good luck my friend! They sound cool! Would you happen to have synopses for them?
Good luck my friend! They sound cool! Would you happen to have synopses for them?
Excel
O-bama-ama-ama-ay-ay
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2005
- Messages
- 19,523
- Reaction score
- 6
- Points
- 58
you can read the supes one at the link. The western is titled Outlaws of the Old West and is pretty much gladiator meets pirates of the caribean in the wold west.
An wrongly imprisoned outlaw escapes execution and is out for revenge on the ***** who murdered his family.
An wrongly imprisoned outlaw escapes execution and is out for revenge on the ***** who murdered his family.
Gotham
Superhero
- Joined
- May 17, 2007
- Messages
- 6,504
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
Read the Superman outline awhile back. Loved it.
Tempest19
Superhero
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2006
- Messages
- 7,350
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
Premiered Spider-Man 4 & 5 on the community threads. Spider-Man 6 is in the works still.
Write for and manage a virtual series for 'Supernatural' that is currently in it's second season. This is a lot harder than writing a single screenplay because per season you have to have around 990 pages of a carefully organized story while keeping everyone on track and not giving everything away.
I've already completed one original high-concept screenplay that touches upon the teenage wasteland that I'm very proud of. Have written more original screenplays, but this one isn't special effects driven, it's a character piece- an "actor's film." It's a difficult sell due to some of the topics. But, I really believe it will get attention from producers willing to take a risk (meaning teenage drama that's R rated). When I'm ready the key producer I have in mind to try to contact first is Bonnie Curtis (produced 'Chumbscrubber').
In a couple of years I'll be moving to California to start taking this to the next professional level, starting anywhere I can and working my way up.
Best advice I can give is write. A writer writes. Just like everything, the more you write the better you get. You want to be good at sports? You practice. You want to be a better writer? You write. I know this seems basic. But, it's true. I find that every piece I write gets better and better as I progress.
Also try to find a voice. Recently I've tapped into and accepted my past as a somewhat disturbed teen. Using that as my voice has given me many new areas to explore and discover, especially one screenplay that I believe has a future because everyone can relate to it in some way.
Explore every genre you can. Take risks. This helps you find your voice. I wrote an extremely controversial episode for my virtual series that deals with school shootings, using my own past and research, to more or less pull my heart out and put it on paper. This has led to two feature length screenplays, one completed and one still in the works based on a novel dealing with the same subject as the episode. Both have come out, are coming out, better than I would have ever expected. So, don't be afraid to find your voice and insert you into it.
Write what you want to see. Not what the audience wants to see. I've heard this countless times and these screenplays are usually the ones that come out the best and most professional because it has your 'mark' on it that separates it from the rest.
SAMPLE WRITING
Write for and manage a virtual series for 'Supernatural' that is currently in it's second season. This is a lot harder than writing a single screenplay because per season you have to have around 990 pages of a carefully organized story while keeping everyone on track and not giving everything away.
I've already completed one original high-concept screenplay that touches upon the teenage wasteland that I'm very proud of. Have written more original screenplays, but this one isn't special effects driven, it's a character piece- an "actor's film." It's a difficult sell due to some of the topics. But, I really believe it will get attention from producers willing to take a risk (meaning teenage drama that's R rated). When I'm ready the key producer I have in mind to try to contact first is Bonnie Curtis (produced 'Chumbscrubber').
In a couple of years I'll be moving to California to start taking this to the next professional level, starting anywhere I can and working my way up.
Best advice I can give is write. A writer writes. Just like everything, the more you write the better you get. You want to be good at sports? You practice. You want to be a better writer? You write. I know this seems basic. But, it's true. I find that every piece I write gets better and better as I progress.
Also try to find a voice. Recently I've tapped into and accepted my past as a somewhat disturbed teen. Using that as my voice has given me many new areas to explore and discover, especially one screenplay that I believe has a future because everyone can relate to it in some way.
Explore every genre you can. Take risks. This helps you find your voice. I wrote an extremely controversial episode for my virtual series that deals with school shootings, using my own past and research, to more or less pull my heart out and put it on paper. This has led to two feature length screenplays, one completed and one still in the works based on a novel dealing with the same subject as the episode. Both have come out, are coming out, better than I would have ever expected. So, don't be afraid to find your voice and insert you into it.
Write what you want to see. Not what the audience wants to see. I've heard this countless times and these screenplays are usually the ones that come out the best and most professional because it has your 'mark' on it that separates it from the rest.
SAMPLE WRITING
PROLOGUE TO A FILM:
EXT. NEW YORK CITY- MONTGOMERY COMPLEX- NIGHT
The streets are dark and desolate.
The MONTGOMERY COMPLEX is a worn out apartment building with spray paint covering the walls.
A BLACK CAR pulls over to the side of the road.
Two men in their mid thirties exit the vehicle in BLACK TACTICAL JACKETS.
MICHAEL KERRIGAN (43), tall and well built, takes out a walkie-talkie.
MICHAEL
This is Kerrigan; we're at the Montgomery Complex. Over.
STEVE REESE (39), diminutive in comparison, follows Michael.
STEVE
Are you sure he's in there?
Michael looks back towards Steve through narrowed eyes and nods his head.
MICHAEL
This your first time?
Steve nervously nods his head as he looks around at the seedier side of New York.
MICHAEL
Relax. This is a routine job, in and out.
STEVE
Strictly by the books?
Michael scowls at the kid's ignorance.
MICHAEL
There is no book. Stick by me; I'll keep you safe.
A MAN'S VOICE can be heard cackling over the walkie-talkie.
MAN'S VOICE
You have confirmation Eagle. Commence the attack. Over.
Michael grins as he loads his weapon.
We see enough of it to know that this weapon is unlike anything that exists today. It has the body of a pistol, but is sleeker and semi-futuristic in design.
MICHAEL
You ready?
Steve looks at Michael hesitantly.
INT. MONTGOMERY APARTMENT COMPLEX- MAIN HALLS- NIGHT
The apartment complex is lit in a fluorescent green hue. The walls are crumbling and decaying. At the front an OLD MAN (75) sits behind a desk, on guard duty, reading 'The Tale of Two Cities.'
Michael and Steve enter the complex.
MICHAEL
This place has seen better days.
The old man glances up at the two men and puts down his book.
OLD MAN
May I help you?
Michael takes a badge out his wallet and flashes it at the old man.
MICHAEL
Michael Kerrigan. FBI.
(Motions to Steve)
This is my partner, Steve Reese.
OLD MAN
What seems to be the problem officers?
Michael cracks a grin as he leans forward on the desk and looks at the old man.
MICHAEL
Nothing for you to worry about, just sit here, read your book and we'll be on our way.
The old man nods his head okay and continues to read. Michael nods his head satisfied and looks back towards Steve.
MICHAEL
Come on.
They walk over to an old elevator and press the call button. The elevator arrives and they get in.
INT. MOTGOMERY COMPLEX- ELEVATOR- NIGHT
Michael presses the button for the tenth floor. He notices that the complex has thirteen floors and shakes his head.
MICHAEL
Wonder who would want to live up there...
Steve squirms around, sweat pouring down his face as he grabs at his shirt collar. The elevator doors open and they step out.
INT. MONTGOMERY COMPLEX- TENTH FLOOR- NIGHT
The hall, similar to the first floor, is lined with decay. Televisions and arguing can be heard from within the walls.
Michael walks by the rooms casually glancing at the doors, checking the numbers.
STEVE
How many of these things have you come up against?
MICHAEL
Too many to count.
Michael stops and eyes the number '1011.'
MICHAEL
Ah, there we go.
Michael KICKS the door open and walks into the pitch-black room.
INT. MONTGOMERY COMPLEX- ROOM 1011- NIGHT
Michael quickly equips his FLASHLIGHT and shines it around the room. The room is littered with empty pizza boxes and beer cans.
The suspect is nowhere in sight.
STEVE
Where is he?
Michael puts out his hand motioning for Steve to be quiet. He looks up towards the ceiling.
LUCAS BLACK (25) rests against the ceiling breathing heavily. Afraid.
Steve looks up to see Lucas and sweat begins to pour down his face.
Michael quickly equips the futuristic gun and points it towards the ceiling.
Lucas drops just in time. BANG! An ELECTRICAL PULSE rockets towards the ceiling and debris falls down around the room.
Michael approaches Lucas, narrowing him into the corner and aims his gun.
LUCAS
Please... don't...
BANG! The electrical pulse hits Lucas slamming him back against the wall and to his knees. Lucas squirms around on the ground screaming as he loses consciousness.
Michael casually puts the gun back into his pocket.
Steve breathes heavily as he looks back and forth between Michael and Lucas.
STEVE
Jesus Christ...
Michael equips the walkie-talkie.
MICHAEL
I got em', cargo will be there within the hour. Over.
(to STEVE)
Don't worry; he's not human.
Michael puts the walkie-talkie away and walks over to Lucas. He lifts him up. Steve follows suit, looking at Michael agitated.
MICHAEL
You'll get used to it. We all do.
SCENE FROM SPIDER-MAN 6
EXT. NEW YORK CITY- NIGHT
New York City sky scrappers tower over the crowded city streets below.
EDDIE BROCK (V.O.)
The world never changes.
EXT. RIKERS ISLAND- NIGHT
Rikers Island can be seen from a distance, a storm rages in the night sky.
EDDIE BROCK (V.O.)
It can't.
INT. RIKERS ISLAND- EDDIE BROCK'S CELL- NIGHT
Eddie Brock stares forward. Intense.
EDDIE BROCK
But, people can.
(beat)
According to my father, I was born a monster.
FLASH CUT:
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO- EVENING- FLASH BACK
Establishing shot of San Francisco. Eerily quiet. Angle down to see an ambulance rushing through the city streets towards a HOSPITAL.
FLASH CUT:
INT. SAN FRANCISCO- HOSPITAL ROOM- EVENING- FLASH BACK
STEPHANIE BROCK, mid twenties, lays on a hospital gurney SCREAMING in PAIN and AGONY!
A DOCTOR leans in towards her calmly.
DOCTOR
It's almost there. Just a little further... push...
FLASH CUT:
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM- EVENING- FLASH BACK
CAROL BROCK, late twenties, sits in the waiting room with the others anxiously awaiting news.
The doctor approaches him with a solemn look on his face. Carol jolts up sensing that something is wrong.
CAROL
What is it?
DOCTOR
I'm afraid there's been some complications.
CAROL
Complications?
DOCTOR
It's your wife... I don't know how to tell you this...
Carol takes a couple of steps back scared as hell.
DOCTOR (CONT'D)
She's dead.
Carol begins to cry as he leans against the wall for support, not believing his ears.
CAROL
Can I see my child?
INT. SAN FRANCISCO- HOSPITAL ROOM- EVENING- FLASHBACK
Carol is led into the hospital room, he sees a nurse holding his baby boy. He looks at the baby with pure hatred shining in his eyes.
CAROL
Can I hold him?
FLASH CUT:
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX- BROCK'S APARTMENT- MAIN ROOM- FLASHBACK
A small boy cowers in the back of the room, quivering afraid. This is CHILD EDDIE.
Carol, a cold hard drunk, stands over his son like a lurking giant.
CAROL
You're never going to amount to anything in life. You're a monster... no one could ever love you.
Child Eddie begins to break down in tears.
CHILD EDDIE
I'm not a monster...
Carol GRABS his son by his shirt collar.
CAROL
God Damn you! You killed your own mother! You KILLED HER!!!
Child Eddie looks away, ashamed.
CAROL
A disgrace to your own family name...
Carol shoves Child Eddie against the wall and walks away.
CHILD EDDIE
I'm not a monster...
INT. RIKERS ISLAND- EDDIE BROCK'S CELL- NIGHT
Eddie leans back in his chair as he observes the young woman sitting across from him; her name is DOCTOR ASHLEY KAUFKA.
EDDIE
Always tried to make my old man proud of me. But, nothing I ever did was good enough for him. In his eyes I was already dead.
Ashley squirms uncomfortably in her seat.
ASHLEY
How do you view yourself now Eddie?
EDDIE
I'd like to say I'm making progress.
Ashley nods her head okay as she jots down notes.
ASHLEY
Why don't you tell me about your job, at the Daily Bugle?
Eddie laughs as he shakes his head.
EDDIE
God I hate that place. I hate him!
ASHLEY
Who do you hate Eddie?
EDDIE
Peter Parker. Spider-Man. He humiliated me! He got me fired. He took my girl! I want that prick dead.
ASHLEY
No one ever deserves to die Eddie.
EDDIE
He does. I was so close too. Everything was working perfectly! Just like how I always imagined it... but, then something happened. He tried to steal it from me. He tried to take it from me.
ASHLEY
Take what?
EDDIE
My friend.
ASHLEY
Does this friend have a name Eddie?
Eddie shakes his head no.
EDDIE
But, it gave me everything in the world. Then he took it from me and almost killed me in the process... I survived though. It saved me.
FLASH BACK:
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE- NIGHT- FLASH BACK
Eddie LEAPS towards the massive symbiote as Peter throws the pumpkin bomb.
PETER
Eddie!!!
The symbiote REACHES out, grabs Eddie and hurls him out of the way. Eddie falls through a crevice in the ground and hits a solid steel beam below. Knocked unconscious.
INT. RIKERS ISLAND- EDDIE BROCK'S CELL- NIGHT
Eddie shakes his head almost as though trying to erase the thought from memory.
EDDIE
I still don't know why.
ASHLEY
Do you believe you deserve to have died Eddie?
Eddie looks at her pained and agitated. He shrugs not knowing the answer.
EDDIE
I want to die.
Ashley nods her head okay as she finishes jotting down her notes.
ASHLEY
You're a good person Eddie. I know it. Deep inside I can see that pained child just wanting to be let out. You're not a monster.
Eddie nods his head okay as he watches Ashley leave his cell room. He lowers his head and takes a deep breath.
SUPERNATURAL VIRTUAL SERIES. 'TEASER'. BASED OFF 'TAP,TAP, TAP' URBAN LEGEND
EXT. LONELY COUNTRY ROAD- NIGHT
A small CAR drives through a lonely country road. Pop music blasts from the stereo system.
INT. CAR- NIGHT
A young guy, STEVEN MATTHEWS (17), drives the car. Intently focused on the road. MELANIE CAROLINE (17) sits in the passenger seat. She places her hand on Steven's leg. He gazes into her eyes and smiles.
STEVEN
Thanks babe.
They kiss. BUMP! The car abruptly stops.
STEVEN
Damn it!
Melanie chuckles and wipes her hair back.
STEVEN
I'll be right back. I'm just going to see if there's any damage.
Melanie glances around the lonely country road. A shiver runs up her spine. She shakes it off.
MELANIE
Be careful.
STEVEN
You know me, I'm always careful.
Steven kisses Melanie. He leaves the car.
EXT. LONELY COUNTRY ROAD- NIGHT
Steven checks the ground seeing a LOG blocking the TIRES. The front of the car is severely damaged. He hears an EERIE LAUGHTER. Frantically glances around.
STEVEN
Is anybody out there?!
No reply.
INT. CAR- NIGHT
Melanie leans against the passenger door. KNOCK! She jumps. Startled. Melanie timidly looks to see... Steven knocking on the window. She lowers it.
STEVEN
We hit a god damn log. Damaged the car pretty badly. We won't be able to drive it, I'm going to need to get somebody to help me fix it. I thought I saw a light on a few miles back. Maybe there's somebody there who can help us.
MELANIE
It's too dangerous.
STEVEN
We have no other choice. It's either go and check or be stranded here for the night.
Melanie unbuckles her seat belt.
MELANIE
Fine. Then I'm coming with you.
STEVEN
No. You're going to stay here in case somebody drives by. Could probably give us a hand. Don't worry. I'll be back in no time.
Steven tosses her the keys.
STEVEN
Here, keep yourself busy.
MELANIE
Love you.
STEVEN
You too.
Steven walks away. Melanie dangles the keys from her hand. She puts the keys into the car and turns on the radio. A NEWS BULLETIN interrupts the music.
NEWS BROADCASTER (O.C.)
We just received word from the local authorities of Red Springs regarding an escaped mental patient. Male. 25 years old. Extremely dangerous. We advise everyone to get into their homes, lock their windows and doors. If you see him, do not attend to apprehend the suspect. Call your local authorities at 555-621-8955. We now return you to your scheduled programming.
Melanie stares at the stereo. Breathing heavily. Sweat drips down her face. She wipes her hair back. Glances outside. Terrified.
TAP... TAP... TAP... The roof of the car JOLTS. Melanie SCREAMS. She crouches down against the seat. Closes her eyes in desperation. TAP. TAP. TAP.
EXT. LONELY COUNTRY ROAD- NIGHT
A crazed man, LUCAS BLACK (25), jumps on the car. Laughing. He's dressed in dark clothing and his face is covered in grime. He jabs a STICK against the roof of the car. Something round is attached to the bottom of the stick. But, it's too dark to clearly make out.
INT. CAR- NIGHT
Melanie squirms. KNOCK. She nervously checks the window. Lucas stares at her. Head pressed up against the glass. Melanie back away.
Lucas moves away from the glass. He holds something up to show Melanie. The stick. Attached to it is a sight too horrific to describe: STEVEN'S DECAPITATED HEAD! Lucas howls with laughter.
Off Melanie letting out a blood curdling SCREAM.
EXT. NEW YORK CITY- MONTGOMERY COMPLEX- NIGHT
The streets are dark and desolate.
The MONTGOMERY COMPLEX is a worn out apartment building with spray paint covering the walls.
A BLACK CAR pulls over to the side of the road.
Two men in their mid thirties exit the vehicle in BLACK TACTICAL JACKETS.
MICHAEL KERRIGAN (43), tall and well built, takes out a walkie-talkie.
MICHAEL
This is Kerrigan; we're at the Montgomery Complex. Over.
STEVE REESE (39), diminutive in comparison, follows Michael.
STEVE
Are you sure he's in there?
Michael looks back towards Steve through narrowed eyes and nods his head.
MICHAEL
This your first time?
Steve nervously nods his head as he looks around at the seedier side of New York.
MICHAEL
Relax. This is a routine job, in and out.
STEVE
Strictly by the books?
Michael scowls at the kid's ignorance.
MICHAEL
There is no book. Stick by me; I'll keep you safe.
A MAN'S VOICE can be heard cackling over the walkie-talkie.
MAN'S VOICE
You have confirmation Eagle. Commence the attack. Over.
Michael grins as he loads his weapon.
We see enough of it to know that this weapon is unlike anything that exists today. It has the body of a pistol, but is sleeker and semi-futuristic in design.
MICHAEL
You ready?
Steve looks at Michael hesitantly.
INT. MONTGOMERY APARTMENT COMPLEX- MAIN HALLS- NIGHT
The apartment complex is lit in a fluorescent green hue. The walls are crumbling and decaying. At the front an OLD MAN (75) sits behind a desk, on guard duty, reading 'The Tale of Two Cities.'
Michael and Steve enter the complex.
MICHAEL
This place has seen better days.
The old man glances up at the two men and puts down his book.
OLD MAN
May I help you?
Michael takes a badge out his wallet and flashes it at the old man.
MICHAEL
Michael Kerrigan. FBI.
(Motions to Steve)
This is my partner, Steve Reese.
OLD MAN
What seems to be the problem officers?
Michael cracks a grin as he leans forward on the desk and looks at the old man.
MICHAEL
Nothing for you to worry about, just sit here, read your book and we'll be on our way.
The old man nods his head okay and continues to read. Michael nods his head satisfied and looks back towards Steve.
MICHAEL
Come on.
They walk over to an old elevator and press the call button. The elevator arrives and they get in.
INT. MOTGOMERY COMPLEX- ELEVATOR- NIGHT
Michael presses the button for the tenth floor. He notices that the complex has thirteen floors and shakes his head.
MICHAEL
Wonder who would want to live up there...
Steve squirms around, sweat pouring down his face as he grabs at his shirt collar. The elevator doors open and they step out.
INT. MONTGOMERY COMPLEX- TENTH FLOOR- NIGHT
The hall, similar to the first floor, is lined with decay. Televisions and arguing can be heard from within the walls.
Michael walks by the rooms casually glancing at the doors, checking the numbers.
STEVE
How many of these things have you come up against?
MICHAEL
Too many to count.
Michael stops and eyes the number '1011.'
MICHAEL
Ah, there we go.
Michael KICKS the door open and walks into the pitch-black room.
INT. MONTGOMERY COMPLEX- ROOM 1011- NIGHT
Michael quickly equips his FLASHLIGHT and shines it around the room. The room is littered with empty pizza boxes and beer cans.
The suspect is nowhere in sight.
STEVE
Where is he?
Michael puts out his hand motioning for Steve to be quiet. He looks up towards the ceiling.
LUCAS BLACK (25) rests against the ceiling breathing heavily. Afraid.
Steve looks up to see Lucas and sweat begins to pour down his face.
Michael quickly equips the futuristic gun and points it towards the ceiling.
Lucas drops just in time. BANG! An ELECTRICAL PULSE rockets towards the ceiling and debris falls down around the room.
Michael approaches Lucas, narrowing him into the corner and aims his gun.
LUCAS
Please... don't...
BANG! The electrical pulse hits Lucas slamming him back against the wall and to his knees. Lucas squirms around on the ground screaming as he loses consciousness.
Michael casually puts the gun back into his pocket.
Steve breathes heavily as he looks back and forth between Michael and Lucas.
STEVE
Jesus Christ...
Michael equips the walkie-talkie.
MICHAEL
I got em', cargo will be there within the hour. Over.
(to STEVE)
Don't worry; he's not human.
Michael puts the walkie-talkie away and walks over to Lucas. He lifts him up. Steve follows suit, looking at Michael agitated.
MICHAEL
You'll get used to it. We all do.
SCENE FROM SPIDER-MAN 6
EXT. NEW YORK CITY- NIGHT
New York City sky scrappers tower over the crowded city streets below.
EDDIE BROCK (V.O.)
The world never changes.
EXT. RIKERS ISLAND- NIGHT
Rikers Island can be seen from a distance, a storm rages in the night sky.
EDDIE BROCK (V.O.)
It can't.
INT. RIKERS ISLAND- EDDIE BROCK'S CELL- NIGHT
Eddie Brock stares forward. Intense.
EDDIE BROCK
But, people can.
(beat)
According to my father, I was born a monster.
FLASH CUT:
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO- EVENING- FLASH BACK
Establishing shot of San Francisco. Eerily quiet. Angle down to see an ambulance rushing through the city streets towards a HOSPITAL.
FLASH CUT:
INT. SAN FRANCISCO- HOSPITAL ROOM- EVENING- FLASH BACK
STEPHANIE BROCK, mid twenties, lays on a hospital gurney SCREAMING in PAIN and AGONY!
A DOCTOR leans in towards her calmly.
DOCTOR
It's almost there. Just a little further... push...
FLASH CUT:
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM- EVENING- FLASH BACK
CAROL BROCK, late twenties, sits in the waiting room with the others anxiously awaiting news.
The doctor approaches him with a solemn look on his face. Carol jolts up sensing that something is wrong.
CAROL
What is it?
DOCTOR
I'm afraid there's been some complications.
CAROL
Complications?
DOCTOR
It's your wife... I don't know how to tell you this...
Carol takes a couple of steps back scared as hell.
DOCTOR (CONT'D)
She's dead.
Carol begins to cry as he leans against the wall for support, not believing his ears.
CAROL
Can I see my child?
INT. SAN FRANCISCO- HOSPITAL ROOM- EVENING- FLASHBACK
Carol is led into the hospital room, he sees a nurse holding his baby boy. He looks at the baby with pure hatred shining in his eyes.
CAROL
Can I hold him?
FLASH CUT:
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX- BROCK'S APARTMENT- MAIN ROOM- FLASHBACK
A small boy cowers in the back of the room, quivering afraid. This is CHILD EDDIE.
Carol, a cold hard drunk, stands over his son like a lurking giant.
CAROL
You're never going to amount to anything in life. You're a monster... no one could ever love you.
Child Eddie begins to break down in tears.
CHILD EDDIE
I'm not a monster...
Carol GRABS his son by his shirt collar.
CAROL
God Damn you! You killed your own mother! You KILLED HER!!!
Child Eddie looks away, ashamed.
CAROL
A disgrace to your own family name...
Carol shoves Child Eddie against the wall and walks away.
CHILD EDDIE
I'm not a monster...
INT. RIKERS ISLAND- EDDIE BROCK'S CELL- NIGHT
Eddie leans back in his chair as he observes the young woman sitting across from him; her name is DOCTOR ASHLEY KAUFKA.
EDDIE
Always tried to make my old man proud of me. But, nothing I ever did was good enough for him. In his eyes I was already dead.
Ashley squirms uncomfortably in her seat.
ASHLEY
How do you view yourself now Eddie?
EDDIE
I'd like to say I'm making progress.
Ashley nods her head okay as she jots down notes.
ASHLEY
Why don't you tell me about your job, at the Daily Bugle?
Eddie laughs as he shakes his head.
EDDIE
God I hate that place. I hate him!
ASHLEY
Who do you hate Eddie?
EDDIE
Peter Parker. Spider-Man. He humiliated me! He got me fired. He took my girl! I want that prick dead.
ASHLEY
No one ever deserves to die Eddie.
EDDIE
He does. I was so close too. Everything was working perfectly! Just like how I always imagined it... but, then something happened. He tried to steal it from me. He tried to take it from me.
ASHLEY
Take what?
EDDIE
My friend.
ASHLEY
Does this friend have a name Eddie?
Eddie shakes his head no.
EDDIE
But, it gave me everything in the world. Then he took it from me and almost killed me in the process... I survived though. It saved me.
FLASH BACK:
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE- NIGHT- FLASH BACK
Eddie LEAPS towards the massive symbiote as Peter throws the pumpkin bomb.
PETER
Eddie!!!
The symbiote REACHES out, grabs Eddie and hurls him out of the way. Eddie falls through a crevice in the ground and hits a solid steel beam below. Knocked unconscious.
INT. RIKERS ISLAND- EDDIE BROCK'S CELL- NIGHT
Eddie shakes his head almost as though trying to erase the thought from memory.
EDDIE
I still don't know why.
ASHLEY
Do you believe you deserve to have died Eddie?
Eddie looks at her pained and agitated. He shrugs not knowing the answer.
EDDIE
I want to die.
Ashley nods her head okay as she finishes jotting down her notes.
ASHLEY
You're a good person Eddie. I know it. Deep inside I can see that pained child just wanting to be let out. You're not a monster.
Eddie nods his head okay as he watches Ashley leave his cell room. He lowers his head and takes a deep breath.
SUPERNATURAL VIRTUAL SERIES. 'TEASER'. BASED OFF 'TAP,TAP, TAP' URBAN LEGEND
EXT. LONELY COUNTRY ROAD- NIGHT
A small CAR drives through a lonely country road. Pop music blasts from the stereo system.
INT. CAR- NIGHT
A young guy, STEVEN MATTHEWS (17), drives the car. Intently focused on the road. MELANIE CAROLINE (17) sits in the passenger seat. She places her hand on Steven's leg. He gazes into her eyes and smiles.
STEVEN
Thanks babe.
They kiss. BUMP! The car abruptly stops.
STEVEN
Damn it!
Melanie chuckles and wipes her hair back.
STEVEN
I'll be right back. I'm just going to see if there's any damage.
Melanie glances around the lonely country road. A shiver runs up her spine. She shakes it off.
MELANIE
Be careful.
STEVEN
You know me, I'm always careful.
Steven kisses Melanie. He leaves the car.
EXT. LONELY COUNTRY ROAD- NIGHT
Steven checks the ground seeing a LOG blocking the TIRES. The front of the car is severely damaged. He hears an EERIE LAUGHTER. Frantically glances around.
STEVEN
Is anybody out there?!
No reply.
INT. CAR- NIGHT
Melanie leans against the passenger door. KNOCK! She jumps. Startled. Melanie timidly looks to see... Steven knocking on the window. She lowers it.
STEVEN
We hit a god damn log. Damaged the car pretty badly. We won't be able to drive it, I'm going to need to get somebody to help me fix it. I thought I saw a light on a few miles back. Maybe there's somebody there who can help us.
MELANIE
It's too dangerous.
STEVEN
We have no other choice. It's either go and check or be stranded here for the night.
Melanie unbuckles her seat belt.
MELANIE
Fine. Then I'm coming with you.
STEVEN
No. You're going to stay here in case somebody drives by. Could probably give us a hand. Don't worry. I'll be back in no time.
Steven tosses her the keys.
STEVEN
Here, keep yourself busy.
MELANIE
Love you.
STEVEN
You too.
Steven walks away. Melanie dangles the keys from her hand. She puts the keys into the car and turns on the radio. A NEWS BULLETIN interrupts the music.
NEWS BROADCASTER (O.C.)
We just received word from the local authorities of Red Springs regarding an escaped mental patient. Male. 25 years old. Extremely dangerous. We advise everyone to get into their homes, lock their windows and doors. If you see him, do not attend to apprehend the suspect. Call your local authorities at 555-621-8955. We now return you to your scheduled programming.
Melanie stares at the stereo. Breathing heavily. Sweat drips down her face. She wipes her hair back. Glances outside. Terrified.
TAP... TAP... TAP... The roof of the car JOLTS. Melanie SCREAMS. She crouches down against the seat. Closes her eyes in desperation. TAP. TAP. TAP.
EXT. LONELY COUNTRY ROAD- NIGHT
A crazed man, LUCAS BLACK (25), jumps on the car. Laughing. He's dressed in dark clothing and his face is covered in grime. He jabs a STICK against the roof of the car. Something round is attached to the bottom of the stick. But, it's too dark to clearly make out.
INT. CAR- NIGHT
Melanie squirms. KNOCK. She nervously checks the window. Lucas stares at her. Head pressed up against the glass. Melanie back away.
Lucas moves away from the glass. He holds something up to show Melanie. The stick. Attached to it is a sight too horrific to describe: STEVEN'S DECAPITATED HEAD! Lucas howls with laughter.
Off Melanie letting out a blood curdling SCREAM.
eXperiment
...gone wrong.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2006
- Messages
- 7,319
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
BUMP
eXperiment
Hello! I've just begun a new story which I've had in my head for a couple of months now! It's my first time digging into the suspense/ thriller genre and it is unbelievably exciting! The prject is classified, but when it is finished I may share it!
How is everybody else moving along?
PS: Tempest, thank you for the excellent read! I agree with you when you state that you have to take risks, and also that a unigue voice is vital in making a sucessful screen and or teleplay.
Hello! I've just begun a new story which I've had in my head for a couple of months now! It's my first time digging into the suspense/ thriller genre and it is unbelievably exciting! The prject is classified, but when it is finished I may share it!
How is everybody else moving along?
PS: Tempest, thank you for the excellent read! I agree with you when you state that you have to take risks, and also that a unigue voice is vital in making a sucessful screen and or teleplay.
The Apatow Crew
New God
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2005
- Messages
- 100,339
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
I've written about two full length screenplays. One a Raunchy comedy and the other a suspsense thriller. Both seem to be rated R.
The Apatow Crew
New God
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2005
- Messages
- 100,339
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
I usually first write it down on paper with pen then transfer it to Final Draft 7.
Gotham
Superhero
- Joined
- May 17, 2007
- Messages
- 6,504
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
Yeah. I find most Screenwriters using Final Draft 7. Never forget Movie Magic Screenwriter, though. I love the budget tool.
The Apatow Crew
New God
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2005
- Messages
- 100,339
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
Yeah someone gave me the final draft program saying its the best. been using it ever since.
QueerMike
Sidekick
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2008
- Messages
- 1,655
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
I've written about four or five screenplays and read numerous books on the craft. My first screenplay I submitted to a professional firm and Hollywood. They basically graded it like a regular school assignment. I paid $200 and when I got it back every page was red marked. That didn't stop me though.
Now, I have some really original ideasbut have a wicked bout of writers cramp. I get an idea, start writing it and maybe get 2 or three pages in when it hits. I have at least 10-15 unfinished screenplays and stories. I don't know what the hell my problem is. I'm thinking of rereading the books I have.
As for the software, I have yet to find one I can figure out how to use so that it actually helps me. I still just use regular ole Word Perfect and do all the spacing myself, which can be very maddening.
Most of my first screenplays were written on paper, all 100-120 pages. I even did a couple on a typewriter with white out. Talk about maddening. It's actually weird because screenwriting was a major reason I got a computer and I've failed to make a dent in finishing one since I got it.
That's all I have to say on screenwriting at this time.
Now, I have some really original ideasbut have a wicked bout of writers cramp. I get an idea, start writing it and maybe get 2 or three pages in when it hits. I have at least 10-15 unfinished screenplays and stories. I don't know what the hell my problem is. I'm thinking of rereading the books I have.
As for the software, I have yet to find one I can figure out how to use so that it actually helps me. I still just use regular ole Word Perfect and do all the spacing myself, which can be very maddening.
Most of my first screenplays were written on paper, all 100-120 pages. I even did a couple on a typewriter with white out. Talk about maddening. It's actually weird because screenwriting was a major reason I got a computer and I've failed to make a dent in finishing one since I got it.
That's all I have to say on screenwriting at this time.
Tempest19
Superhero
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2006
- Messages
- 7,350
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 31
DO RESEARCH
Also forgot to mention this earlier. A film is the same as a research project. U write what you know. But what you don't know, you look up. Got a character breaking and entering- u look up and learn how. I know how to do it now. Just need the tools.
You have a firefighter, if you're old enough, go in for firefighting training. etc. If you can, see if you can follow a cop around. Sign a contract risking your life to be with said cop. DO RESEARCH.
This is very easy, doesn't take too much time. If you want a gun. You go online and read up about guns. Say you want a cheap gun, try to find the types of cheap guns. Say you're guy is a bad ass, do the same. This goes for choosing cars also. Somethings are easy, somethings aren't.
An example of research I've done for two projects, the school shooting episode and film, was watch every documentary of school shootings I could find, psychiatric reports, the journals of Eric and Dylan. Read a book by Brooks Brown. Only thing I didn't do was watch the basement tapes in full (not available).
But, overall point is, do as much research as you can while writing and re-writing if you are serious about the craft. You may know some things, but chances are there are many elements that are a mystery to you and chances are this might give you inspiration for a scene as well.
BTW, this semester finished or near finished about three screenplays. One a completely original high-concept film about the teenage wasteland. One based on a novel that can only be described as 'Silence of the Lambs' for teenagers, straight-forward adaptation. And one based on a school shooting novel, which was written in such a way that I needed to come up with most of the story itself (book written in interview format, so it's more or less the same as writing a screenplay based on research on a true event). Both novels have won awards and got praise, but not to the extent that film options were ever brought up yet nor have they ever been approached yet. These scripts aren't action oriented, they're character driven, TIGHT, and have different tones. Teenage Wasteland is surreal Donnie Darko/Chumbscrubber, the crime thriller is 'The Lookout' meets 'Guide to Recognizing your Saints' meets a serial killer thriller, then the school shooting is pure raw energy meant to be eerily realistic, could kind of see it working best if shot on home video.
Also forgot to mention this earlier. A film is the same as a research project. U write what you know. But what you don't know, you look up. Got a character breaking and entering- u look up and learn how. I know how to do it now. Just need the tools.
You have a firefighter, if you're old enough, go in for firefighting training. etc. If you can, see if you can follow a cop around. Sign a contract risking your life to be with said cop. DO RESEARCH.
This is very easy, doesn't take too much time. If you want a gun. You go online and read up about guns. Say you want a cheap gun, try to find the types of cheap guns. Say you're guy is a bad ass, do the same. This goes for choosing cars also. Somethings are easy, somethings aren't.
An example of research I've done for two projects, the school shooting episode and film, was watch every documentary of school shootings I could find, psychiatric reports, the journals of Eric and Dylan. Read a book by Brooks Brown. Only thing I didn't do was watch the basement tapes in full (not available).
But, overall point is, do as much research as you can while writing and re-writing if you are serious about the craft. You may know some things, but chances are there are many elements that are a mystery to you and chances are this might give you inspiration for a scene as well.
BTW, this semester finished or near finished about three screenplays. One a completely original high-concept film about the teenage wasteland. One based on a novel that can only be described as 'Silence of the Lambs' for teenagers, straight-forward adaptation. And one based on a school shooting novel, which was written in such a way that I needed to come up with most of the story itself (book written in interview format, so it's more or less the same as writing a screenplay based on research on a true event). Both novels have won awards and got praise, but not to the extent that film options were ever brought up yet nor have they ever been approached yet. These scripts aren't action oriented, they're character driven, TIGHT, and have different tones. Teenage Wasteland is surreal Donnie Darko/Chumbscrubber, the crime thriller is 'The Lookout' meets 'Guide to Recognizing your Saints' meets a serial killer thriller, then the school shooting is pure raw energy meant to be eerily realistic, could kind of see it working best if shot on home video.
Similar threads
Users who are viewing this thread
Staff online
-
DKDetectiveElementary, Dear Robin (he/him) -
SwordOfMorningSuper Moderator
