The Sweet Spectacular Donut Race

[Eggyman]

I have a job.

In that job there is a department. It's called HR. In HR there is a woman called Jo who feeds me donuts. Every day without fail I go up four floors to get these donuts--she puts them aside for me. She buys them for her team, but for some reason she feels... a certain connection with me and so has a passion for feeding me sugary goodness. It's all above board, and I'm not a naughty boy despite the large perky things that make her shirts and jumpers bulge. Even my missus gives me a bit of time without emailing so I can go and get these donuts. My missus, God love her, calls Jo my 'work wife'.

That's what she called her today: Work wife.

Not sure I like that term, but whatever. I already know that a way to a man's heart is not through his stomach.

So, come one and all, discuss your work wives--whether you're single or not.

Do you enjoy this relationship? Is it healthy? Can you talk to your work wife about things that you can't with your actual missus? I can't. I tell my missus everything because when I open my mouth all my guts fall out, plus, I don't say much to Jo. I get these donuts and ask her about her weekend or what she has planned and then run (think of this as the five-minute cuddle after sex).

I can't be the only one to have a work wife so discuss because I am a nosey parker and am very interested in this strange relationship dynamic.

Also, worth a note: I would never do Jo, like, you know. Yes, she has the boobs, but like I said, I'm a one-man woman. Plus I don't sh** where I eat even though if you saw the size of my apartment, you'd wonder how I manage this.

Go.

Edit: Forgot to be PC. You can talk about work husbands too.

 

[POWdER-man]

She is fattening you up Hansel so she could eat you later on. Do you have any old wood stoves to shove her in?

Spoiler

I have one lady who is almost like a mother hen for the rest of the staff. She makes treats and brings them in, etc I actually kind of wish she was my mother, grandmother, aunt, something... As for work wives....no. I am surrounded by 95-98% females all the time but I only have one wife.

 

[Eggyman]

She is fattening you up Hansel so she could eat you later on. Do you have any old wood stoves to shove her in?

Spoiler

I have one lady who is almost like a mother hen for the rest of the staff. She makes treats and brings them in, etc I actually kind of wish she was my mother, grandmother, aunt, something...

That doesn't work. My metabolism kicks arse. It winds my missus and her pet gay up no end.

 

[O_B_Juan]

Where I work all the women are like hens. They chatter and cluck about everything and out number the guys 7 to 3. Like a herd one can scare the rest just by getting upset. It wouldn't bother me so much if they were hot. But they're not!

 

[POWdER-man]

That doesn't work. My metabolism kicks arse. It winds my missus and her pet gay up no end.

She has all the time in the world and you are getting older every day. That metabolism is going to slow down eventually. Just wait, she will break your egg apart and eat that gooey, delicious insides soon enough.

 

[Hurm...]

I have a work wife...but let's just say she don't give out no donuts. Ya herrr

 

[Eggyman]

She has all the time in the world and you are getting older every day. That metabolism is going to slow down eventually. Just wait, she will break your egg apart and eat that gooey, delicious insides soon enough.

I'll send you before and after pics.

I have a work wife...but let's just say she don't give out no donuts. Ya herrr

You shouldn't sh** where you eat, mate. It's unhygienic. What if one of your colleagues started sh**ting there too while you were between meals? It could get very messy very fast and people would start slipping and falling over.

 

[Hurm...]

You shouldn't sh** where you eat, mate. It's unhygienic. What if one of your colleagues started sh**ting there too while you were between meals? It could get very messy very fast and people would start slipping and falling over.

She gives out cookies instead

 

[Eggyman]

She gives out cookies instead

That's Ok then. Similar to my WW.

Another good side effect is how it makes your actual wife/girlfriend/pet pick up their game as not to be outdone. Not something I encourage, but a nice result nonetheless.

 

[Erzengel]

I think I spoke previously that I tend to get along with women more so then men. I mean I come out of my office to discuss, the local hooperball or stick ball team but we don't hang out.

When there use to be female workers, I would go out to lunch with them, have drinks. They were my work buddies.

I miss them.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I'm more concerned with the fact that you have a donut every day of the week

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I have a work wife as well. I've had one at every job I've ever had. My wife always teases me about all my work wives I've had over the years.

It's nothing wrong with it unless you take it where it shouldn't go. It's like when someone sits in your seat to keep it warm for you. She just keeps me warm until I get home to my wife.

 

[POWdER-man]

I'll send you before and after pics.

Awesome......I can't wait?

I have a work wife as well. I've had one at every job I've ever had. My wife always teases me about all my work wives I've had over the years.

It's nothing wrong with it unless you take it where it shouldn't go. It's like when someone sits in your seat to keep it warm for you. She just keeps me warm until I get home to my wife.

As long as they don't sit in your seat when you are actually sitting on it then it is all good.

 

[Hurm...]

If I have multiple work wives, does that make me Mormon?

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Awesome......I can't wait?



As long as they don't sit in your seat when you are actually sitting on it then it is all good.

Why is that good?

j/k

 

[NHawk19]

That's Ok then. Similar to my WW.

Another good side effect is how it makes your actual wife/girlfriend/pet pick up their game as not to be outdone. Not something I encourage, but a nice result nonetheless.

Went the other way for me. She thought since someone else was taking care of sweets for me at work I should focus on her more

 

[POWdER-man]

Why is that good?

j/k

I'm telling your wife....


mostly because I am sure she would need some consolation.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I'm telling your wife....


mostly because I am sure she would need some consolation.

Hey man, what happened to the Bro code!?!

SNITCHES GET STITCHES!!!

 

[Victarion]

I think your beloved refering to your sugar mama as a "work wife" is an excuse for her to get a "work husband." Like myself for example.

 

[knowsbleed]

I used to have a work wife who used to tell me what color panties she had on every day.

I had another one who started liking me after I built a fort made of cardboard boxes around her desk so that she would have some privacy... but she stopped liking me after I put her car up for trade on the local classifieds. I put, "Will trade for a good time and a 24 pack of Natural Ice". People say I made her cry... but I don't believe them.

I now have a work stalker... she comes by my office every morning and lingers for-e-ver. She laughs at everything I say and won't stop touching my hair. So, I did the only thing I could think of doing. I took her out for drinks the other night, got her really inebriated, had her singing karaoke and quietly and stealthily proceeded out the door by myself.

She didn't talk to me yesterday...

... mission accomplished. I'm work single again.

 

[POWdER-man]

Hey man, what happened to the Bro code!?!

SNITCHES GET STITCHES!!!

Sorry, that agreement does not extend to outside the USA.





Getting back on topic I had this girl at work (long time ago) who would show me risque pictures of herself and flirt something fierce. I was with someone at the time which she knew so I tried to ignore her as much as possible but she wouldn't stop. Eventually she left my work and I didn't see her since. She was hot, but a bit of a headcase.

 

[Eggyman]

I'm more concerned with the fact that you have a donut every day of the week

A donut? If it ever comes to the point where I only get one from her, I'll be trading up.

I used to have a work wife who used to tell me what color panties she had on every day.

I had another one who started liking me after I built a fort made of cardboard boxes around her desk so that she would have some privacy... but she stopped liking me after I put her car up for trade on the local classifieds. I put, "Will trade for a good time and a 24 pack of Natural Ice". People say I made her cry... but I don't believe them.

I now have a work stalker... she comes by my office every morning and lingers for-e-ver. She laughs at everything I say and won't stop touching my hair. So, I did the only thing I could think of doing. I took her out for drinks the other night, got her really inebriated, had her singing karaoke and quietly and stealthily proceeded out the door by myself.

She didn't talk to me yesterday...

... mission accomplished. I'm work single again.

You tell such a sweet tale. I used to have a stalker when I was single. I showed her my mister.