The Toilet of Doom: The Feature-Length Fan-Script

[SuperMonkey]

THE TOILET OF DOOM

by

SuperMonkey

enterthemadness

and

Ghostvirus

After the script is done. I will release a Director's Cut of the script with all-new edits and several deleted scenes and alternate endings. It will be a .txt or .rtf attachment (downloadable

The Official Site:
http://toiletofdoomfan.googlepages.com/home
(Please no emails to my google mail, totally filled up with thousands of pages of spam and scam. )

When is it?: It is the year 4012 A.D. The remnants of earth's civilization are trying to pull themselves together after 3998's World War V.

Most of the world is in ruins. In Wichita, Kansas and the surrounding area, a race of Monktillians, Monkey Reptilians rule. Humans are treated like animals and our hero, Sam Frankton, just happens to be a little ticked off about that.

What is it?: The underground Human Resistance Movement, the Wichita cell being led by Frank Samton, has recently discovered the existence of a huge SUPER-TOILET in British Columbia. They also learn that he is preparing to destroy Wichita and seek revenge upon the few remaining humans and the Monktilians for the atrocities commited against him 2000 years ago.

Sam has recently joined the HRM and has agreed to travel to British Columbia with a team of 5 of the best-trained mercenaries in the world.

In the year 4012, one Man, one Warrior, one Dude with a .45 will take on THE TOILET OF DOOM.












TEASER 1
Shot 1:An old scientist and three military officials enter a room
Military Officer 1: What you're about to see...

Shot 2: The officials and the scientist are looking at a large toilet-shaped object silhouetted from behind. As the lights turn on to illuminate it, we cut to the scientist, looking on in awe.
Military Officer 1: Is Above top-secret. Not even the president knows about this. It was reverse engineered from material retrieved from Roswell and developed at Area 51.

Scientist: My God, what is it?

Military Officer 1: The X-15.

Shot 3: The scientist is in the bowl, working on the X-15 at night. A man walks along the rim of the bowl.
Man(whispering):Knowledge is Trouble.
The man disappears.

Shot 4: The toilet has activated itself. The scientist is spinning around. There is an assistant frantically trying to shut the toilet down.

Scientist: It's a toilet... OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!

Shot 5: Sam is yelling at Frank

Sam: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING UP THERE. ALL I KNOW IS, I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF IT!

Shot 6: A man falls out of a skyscraper window. Sam watches him fall.

Frank: What have you done?

Shot 7: Sam and three others come up above a hill to see a huge round building.

Shot 8: A huge army races across the tundra towards Sam's group.

Shot 9: The Screen is dark.

Loud, Deep, Angry Voice (echoing): Cry Havoc!

Shot 10: Sam is staring out at a frozen tundra. *Heartbeat*

Shot 11: Sam tosses a running flamethrower into a toilet bowl. *Heartbeat*

Narrator: In the year 4012, one man,... *Heartbeat*

Shot 12: Sam stands yards away from the exploding toilet, waving his arms.

Sam: The Toilet is DEAAAAADDDD! *Heartbeat*

Narrator: one warrior,...

Shot 13: Sam cleaves off the head of a mutant with a sword. *Heartbeat*

Narrator: one dude with a .45,...

Shot 14: Sam lifts a .45 and fires.

Narrator: will take on ... *Heartbeat*

Shot 15: Four men are circling the toilet drain, screaming.
*Flatlining tone*

Narrator: THE TOILET OF DOOM! Coming to a Hype near you this spring.

END TRAILER


ACT 1 of 6 Coming Late March/Early April, '08! No, it will happen this time, really!

PLEASE PM WITH ANY QUESTIONS.

Reviews:

"Wow, that is probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard and embarrasses fellow writers like myself."

- MasterChief117


"click"

- raymond325


"So...much...clogging... "

- Ramplate



-- FunBob

 

[SuperMonkey]

early april?......... Hey, I beat the spread by a day. Anyway. Here's Act One.



Oy, it's been a while, huh? I believe,... six months give or take now. .. So, without further adieu, I present to you...








T H E



T O I L E T



O F



D O O M


ACT I of VI

ACT I Finished 2/6/08
by

SuperMonkey

and

enterthemadness

Based on an idea by FunBobPants

in association with

E. Bison Rocks

lovesteppenwolf

and

D. Bison

Scene and Plot Revisions by

SuperMonkey

Earlier Drafts by

FunBobPants






SCENE 1* OPENING - We are in a dark open space. There are many silver-colored particles revolving around the centre of the screen. There is a bright flash, illuminating everything to reveal that the particles are water droplets and they are revolving around a toilet drain. Suspenseful music plays throughout.

THE NARRATOR
In the year 2012, one man, contracted by the Canadian military, activated a long dormant piece of alien technology. In the process, it gained super-human intelligence and powers. Now it is the year 4012 and it wants revenge for the atrocities committed against it. It is...

A medium tempo rock intro plays.

FEMALE SINGER
The Toooiiiiillet of Doom!

The flash dies down, the droplets disappear, the music fades out and we

FADE TO.



SCENE 2* EXT. ORBIT AROUND PLANET EARTH - SWINGING AROUND TO THE DAYSIDE

Caption:
Earth Orbit
August 26th, 4012 A.D.
2:45 AM Universal Time Coordinated

An OLD SPY SATELLITE circles the earth. It is thousands of years old and is missing a part of a solar panel. It has lain dormant for decades.

We briefly switch to a close up view of the screen of a laptop, on EARTH. Someone types a string of characters.

On Computer Screen:

CONNECTING TO SATELLITE>>>>>>CONNECTING TO SATELLITE>>>>>>CONNECTING TO SATELLITE>>>>>>

The laptop beeps.

On Computer Screen:

CONNECTED TO SATELLITE

Back to ORBIT.

The SATELLITE fires one of it's THRUSTERS and moves over North America, it is barely recognisable. The areas surrounding Manhattan, Washington, Toronto and Dallas are grey. Much of the Gulf Coast is flooded, New Orleans, Tampa, Cape Canaveral and many other famous locations are under water, and the WESTERN UNITED STATES is entirely DESERT.

A tiny red light near the camera's lens flashes twice.

CUT TO.



SCENE 3* EXT. CALIFORNIA NUCLEAR DESERT, THE FORMER UNITED STATES - NIGHT

Caption:
California Nuclear Desert
August 26th
2:47 AM Universal Time Coordinated

We see three HUMANOID FIGURES walking across a ridge and then a startled HUMAN operating a laptop crosslegged on the DESERT. The HUMAN bolts up, grabs the laptop and hurries back to a small OUTCROPPING/CAVE.

HUMAN(whispering to self)
Dammit!

He ducks into a small inset area in the cave, and pulls an antique 21st Century .45 CALIBER PISTOL off of a hip holster and checks the clip, fully loaded. He flips off the safety and raises it, not ready to give up without a fight.

He thinks for a few seconds, then comes out of the hiding spot, grabs the laptop, prints off the satellite picture then uses a built in FAX MACHINE to send it, along with a NOTE.

He crams the picture and the NOTE into the FAX MACHINE along the bottom front of the LAPTOP and types in a number, spots the search party coming down from the ridge and hurries back to the hiding spot.

CUT TO.



SCENE 4* INT. HUMAN RESISTANCE H.Q. - NIGHT

FRANK SAMTON, a human with black hair and a leather jacket is watching a fax emerge from the FAX MACHINE. He takes it out and looks at it. There are two satellite pictures and a NOTE:

Saw posbl search party w. jeep just after took sat pics send help
SAM

coordinates 5894.89

FRANK jumps up and runs to a room with an old HAM RADIO and flips a switch.

FRANK (into radio)
Pete, how far are you from coordinates 5894 by 89.

PETE (over radio)
A couple miles. Why?

FRANK
We have an operative gathering intel out there and he spotted a Bowlhead search party. We need you to go out and find him, they may be mobile.


SCENE 5* INT. HOSPITAL - UNKNOWN (DREAM/FLASHBACK)
(Black-and-white scene)

Four MONKTILLIANS are rushing around SAM'S body, pale and lifeless.

NURSE 1
He's flatlining, use the defibrillator.

NURSE 2 throws the DOCTOR two hand slip-on defibrilators. He slips them on his palms and zaps SAM three times.

His pulse monitor begins beeping.

NURSE 3
We have a pulse.

SAM wakes up and gasps. He mumbles.

SAM
Wh- Where, who?!

SAM passes out again.

He is wheeled out of the room into a hallway, a sign above a doorway says:

Applied Cryogenics

FADE TO.



SCENE 6* EXT. CALIFORNIAN DESERT - NIGHT

Caption:
California Nuclear Desert
One Hour's Drive From New Los Angeles
August 26th
3:12 AM Universal Time Coordinated

SAM is still in the recessed area of the wall, he hears someone enter the cave. We ZOOM IN for a CLOSE UP on two reptilian feet as they walk across the cave slowly. We hear SAM scream followed by two silenced gunshots.

(beat)

Two MONKTILLIANS walk out of the cave, carrying SAM. A third MONKTILLIAN starts the jeep and they load SAM into the back of the vehicle.

FADE TO.



SCENE 7* EXT. TOILET ARMY SAFEHOUSE - NIGHT

Caption:
Safehouse of the Toilet Offensive
Outside New Los Angeles
August 26th
4:27 AM Universal Time Coordinated

We are outside a small building just outside Los Angeles. It is a small, squat 2-floored building. There is a Monktilian GUARD slowly pacing back and forth in front of the building.

We see a tall human, crouching in a tree a few metres from the entrance, dressed in a full body stealth suit and holding a silenced SNIPER RIFLE.

Human (whispering into radio): I got him in my sights. Haven't seen any activity out here for about half an hour.

FRANK (over radio)
Execute.

HUMAN (whispering over radio)
Copy.

There are two other operatives. One behind a bush. Another in a tree. The tall human flashes the others a hand signal and raises his sniper rifle, targets the guard's head and fires. The guard falls to the ground dead. He jumps down out of the tree and removes his mask revealing that he is REY.

REY
Tom, you're gonna head up through the maintenance tunnels.

He points to a small grate in the ground.

REY (CONT'D)
Pete, me and you are gonna head up on the roof and try to locate Sam. Go!

They all head off to rescue SAM.

CUT TO.



SCENE 8* INT. TORTURE ROOM, TOILET ARMY SAFEHOUSE - NIGHT

SAM is strapped to a chair, unconscious. A MONKTILLIAN TORTURER walks up to him with a HAND TASER. He tasers SAM'S neck. SAM screams.

SAM
What the hell?

TORTURER
Hello, Sam.

SAM
What do you want?

TORTURER
I want to know everything about what your friends call "Operation: Silver Plunger".

SAM
I don't know what you're talking about.

The MAN tasers SAM'S neck again.

SAM
Dammit!

TORTURER
Now... about that plunger.

He smiles evilly.

FADE TO.



SCENE 9* INT. DUCTWORK, TOILET ARMY SAFEHOUSE - NIGHT

PETE and REY have split up. REY is in the DUCTWORK and is looking down at a small office. There is a GUARD in the OFFICE, operating a POCKET COMPUTER.

REY (into radio)
Pete, go.

PETE bursts through the door of the OFFICE and shoots the GUARD. The GUARD falls to the floor.

PETE walks up and grabs the GUARD'S POCKET COMPUTER. He inserts a small disk and downloads a few files. REY comes into the room through the duct and grabs the DISK.

REY
Have you seen a computer terminal?

PETE
Yeah, right down the hall.

PETE and REY run out the OFFICE door and down the hall.

INT. HALLWAY, TOILET ARMY SAFEHOUSE - NIGHT

They bump into a small MONKEY as they turn left. He looks at them for a second, then runs down the hall.

MONKEY
Intruder! Intruder in the base!

PETE spots the TERMINAL and runs for it. He reaches it and inserts the DISK and clicks OPEN.

On Computer:
Cannot Open. Windows 95 System Error 4633679586595

He clicks RUN DISK

On Computer:
Cannot Run Disk. Windows 95 System Error 48149562846123. Please consult page 594568451845 of your Windows Troubleshooting Handbook for more information.

He clicks OPEN again.

The loading bar is at 2%. After around 1 minute it jumps to 3%, then down to -42%.

PETE
Screw it, we're out of here!

PETE and REY run back into the office and, one after the other, they jump onto the desk and then up into the duct.



SCENE 10* INT. TORTURE ROOM, TOILET ARMY SAFEHOUSE - NIGHT

Safehouse of the Toilet Offensive
Outside Los Angeles
August 26th
4:52 AM Universal Time Coordinated

SAM is still strapped into the chair. He is bleeding from the back of his neck. The MONKTILLIAN TORTURER walks towards the door.

TORTURER
I'll be back. Don't worry.

SAM
I'm not.

PETE taps the HUMAN RESISTANCE SECRET KNOCK (The first two lines of "Puff The Magic Dragon") on the edge of the duct grate.

SAM
Guys?

PETE and REY climb out. And begin untying SAM.

REY (whispering)
Damn right. Tom just set off an alarm in the East Wing so all the guards'll be diverted there. What have they been doing to you?

SAM
Hand taser. Hurts like --

They hear footsteps at the door. The knob turns and a group of guards are standing there. REY and PETE draw their guns.

TORTURER
Guns down, boys. You just earned yourself a one-way ticket to hell.

PETE fires, hitting one of the guard's shields.

The TORTURER walks forward. Grabs PETE'S gun and REY shoots him in the chest. The spot where the bullet would have hit warps and the bullet goes through without harming him. He grabs REY'S gun and pushes it into REY'S stomach and fires. He puts PETE'S gun up to PETE'S head and fires.

SAM
NO!

TORTURER
Listen, man. I don't li--

FRANK'S voice comes over REY'S radio. REY is still alive, clutching his stomach in pain.

FRANK (over radio)
Guys? Guy's are you there?

REY (into radio)
Listen, Frank, Pete's dead. We need back--

The TORTURER shoots REY three times in the chest. He falls to the floor.

FRANK (over radio): Guys? Guys?!

CUT TO.



SCENE 11* INT. HUMAN RESISTANCE H.Q. - DAWN

FRANK is sitting on a chair in the middle of the basement that serves as the HUMAN RESISTANCE H.Q., he is holding on to the HAM RADIO in shock. He stands up, grabs two pistols off an end table, a bag of ammo next to a door and a flak jacket from under a couch. FRANK walks into a separate room. There are 3 HUMANS sitting around a table.

FRANK (CONT'D)
I just heard shots fired at the safehouse. They aren't radioing back. You ready, Quad?

QUAD is a tall, black human in a flight suit. He stands up.

QUAD
You bet, chopper's already prepped, ready to fly.

FRANK
Tim, Dave, you ready to go?

They both stand up.

TIM
Ready

DAVE
Let's go.

They run towards the door.

FADE OUT.



SCENE 12* INT. MAIN ROOM, TOILET OF DOOM H.Q.- NIGHT

Caption:
Secret Compound, British Columbia
August 26th
8:01 AM Universal Time Coordinated


The headquarters are partially underground, the walls are rocky and there are bridges coming out from the main platform over a deep chasm. HUNDREDS OF MINIONS, ranging from a quarter of a foot to twenty five feet tall, bow down in front of a GIANT TOILET, who stands/sits on a large dais.

TOILET (voice scrambled): This is the end. The end of our enemy and a fresh start for us! We will rain down hellfire upon them and flush them to a sewagey grave!

The minions rise up and cheer!

TOILET (CONT'D)
I wasn't finished!

The minions stop cheering and bow back down.

TOILET (CONT'D)
We will attack them in two days. In the early hours of the morning, when they least expect it. We will conquer their cities, utterly decimate their forces and lay waste to their pathetic city they call... Wichita. City

The TOILET notices a figure with a hood over it's head in the large crowd.

TOILET
You there, take off the cloak!

The figure rises up. He tosses his cloak to the side. His face is a cross between a monkey and a reptile.

TOILET
Our enemy stands before us, in our midst! Kill him!

The monkey-reptile pulls out a short dagger slashes the throats of two minions to his left and right. They grab their throats and fall to the floor.

He spins in a circle, dagger stretched out.

A few minions nearby, rush him, but he quickly sends them retreating minus a few limbs each.

One small minion takes him out with a long metal baseball slide.

He falls to the floor, but springs back up.

The small minion punches him in the stomach, then in the side of the face.

Another tiny mouse-like minion jumps onto his back. Two grab hold of his legs.

TOILET (CONT'D)
Make him suffer!

MINION 1
Sir!

The two carry him off to another room.

TOILET (CONT'D)
I see the enemy has already attempted to infiltrate us. Hmmm... We must expedite our plans. General Krogg, can you have our forces ready within 4 days?

KROGG is a seemingly dumb, yet cunning, 16-Foot high TROLL-LIKE creature. (The Toilet's Desaad)

KROGG
I am sure with a little... encouragement they could be ready in... a week, at the earliest. I'm sorry, m'lord we're just not prepared. We have yet to retrieve the ravenous monkey warriors of Indo-China and we barely have enough--

The TOILET has extended a long mechanical arm and is choking KROGG.

TOILET
You will have them ready--

KROGG (choked)
By Monday, of course, m'lord.

He releases him.

TOILET
You are all dismissed! Return to work!

The TOILET lowers down through the floor, still on his dais/elevator.

FADE OUT.

 

[enterthemadness]

Nice read. See you kept some of my stuff, which wasn't a lot to begin with. Can't wait for Act II.

 

[SuperMonkey]

M'kay. Should have part 2 up... mid/late may. Early June at the latest.

--FunBob

P.S. does anyone like this font better or should I stick with the default.

 

[SuperMonkey]

*sigh*

 

[SuperMonkey]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........


Huh?! *wakes up and looks around*

Oh. *goes back to sleep*

 

[enterthemadness]

No body has nothing to say? Nothing about what they like or don't like about the story so far?

 

[SuperMonkey]

I just don't understand. Every time I post something here it's the ONE thread that gets ignored.

 

[SuperMonkey]

Holy frickin' bump, man!

 

[SuperMonkey]

"Wow, that is probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard and embarrasses fellow writers like myself."

- MasterChief117


"click"

- raymond325


"So...much...clogging... "

- Ramplate



http://forums.comingsoon.net/showthread.php?t=50261

Thanks for the reviews, guys!

 

[SuperMonkey]

bump. this is on hold until I get my new project (see "DC Reboot" thread in fan-fic) up and running.