When I met Natalie Portman: A Story.

[Archangel]

"We looked at eachother and kissed with hungy eyes. She was like the wind. And I was a free bird."

 

[Knives122]

^that's pretty....................I'd rather not say actually

 

[SsM]

HUNGY EYES... i feel the magic between you and ai!

 

[Bad Superman]

I just wanna tell you guys thanks for being here. Best day ever.

 

[Rambo, John J]

SWEAR TO ME!!!

Done.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I think you mean defamation..But you said it yourself, it's fiction right?

No. Nothing SWA can say or do can deform Nat's character.

I'm not going to read all of that but I'm assuming he got to smell her fresh hair, right?
All right.

 

[Ronny Shade]

Shouldn't there be a "morons" forum?

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

A true moron doesn't think he's a moron.
You can't corral them.

 

[Ronny Shade]

A morons forum is kinda like communism. A good idea in theory.

 

[Kevin Roegele]

It was the week of 1999. I was in Rosarito beach for Spring Break. Jason and me stayed at the famous Hotel Del Rosarito. We are good friends and I always knew that we would eventually go there and "Party like it was 1999".
It was on a thursday afternoon that we went to the set of Titanic. Down there they have a FOX studios where they built the set for the movie. We spend all day there looking at the props and the good stuff. After the visit to the set we went to a restaurant there, on the side of the cliff. We ordered lobster and some beer. We were gettin' toasted.
Already the day had been really fun. Later on, about 5pm, we went back to our hotel and got ready to go to the local bar, Senor Frogs.

Upon arrival, I immediately noticed lots of hot girls! Man, they were very hot. This was playboy's Spring Break's hot spot and we knew it when we walked into the disco. We took a booth and ordered eight dos equis cahuamas.

You wouldn't believe all the people that showed up. You would think, because it's Mexico, there would be all Mexicans there. It was all white girls and white guys running around getting drunk and having tequila shots. I met this one girl, I forgot her name, and she said, "Hey can I get a body shot", I said "Sure". Not knowing what a body shot was. So she takes off her shirt and jumps on top of the bar, then the bartender pours something on her belly and I suck it all up! It was all in fun.

It got late. I think it was about 1 am. When I got all messed up and started dancing by myself. Sorry, I do that sometimes. I get all freaky like a rock star or something or other.

Suddenly, there she was, dancing with her other girlfriends. It was like looking at an angel. Pure white face..Eyes that shine in the dark and that european beauty. Yes, it was Natalie Portman..Or as I got to call her, Nat.
I got close and began to dance next to her, acting like I didn't know who she was..pretending to be a regular guy just having fun. Of course, I was dying inside..I wanted to scream out and say something about Star Wars..But I kept quiet and just smiled. What was that movie? Dirty Dancing? yeah, it was just like that. We looked at eachother and kissed with hungy eyes. She was like the wind. And I was a free bird.

So far I kept quiet and just went along with the music. But some other part of me screamed, "Hi, what's Your name?" She replied, "Nat". I smiled.
We got close and sweaty, dancing to music I can't remember. The lights, the excitement, the party people! Yes, I was here..And I was Dancing with Natalie Portman.
I asked her to come and sit with me. She accepted the invitation, so we went back and I put my arm around her. We were just two regular people talking about Movies and Rosarito beach. "I'm here checkin out the site for a movie" She said. And continued, "I went to the set of Titanic, it's really nice there and the people are really cool". I told her I was just some guy from San Diego there to have a break. "I'm just here to chill out with my homies" I replied. We talked until 3 am. Continued to dance and drink.

I am a gentleman. So I offered, to walk her to the terrace room. "I must insist" I said. She smiled and looked down. As if thinking. She laughed and agreed.
The Hotel was about 3 blocks away. I walked her there with my arms around her waist. She felt warm and moved slowly. She smelled like a rose and looked like a goddess. I couldn't believe it! I was actually walking down the street with her, it was as if God had given me a most generous gift. I thanked him.

We arrived at her destination. There was an alcoholic odor in the air. Yeah, I've had way too much to drink. But it was all for the better because that meant I could ask her anything! So I went for it. I said softly to her ear, "Nat, can I come in"? She laughed. Looked down and replied, "Ok, but just for a few minutes, My dad would kill me" I put my arm around her neck, went inside and closed the door.

The End.


StarWarsAgent.

I don't even know what to say about this. I know you read all the replies because you're hoping someone believes you. But also i thinbk you write this stuff because posting it gives it some legitimacy in your eyes and makes it slightly more believable to you.

Nobody is going to be fooled by this. You're embarassing yourself and everybody else.

 

[The Lizard]

I had a similar experience with Keira Knightly in 1999 ... mostly because I thought she was actually Natalie Portman.

 

[Pussy Galore]

That;s the creepiest thing ive ever read.

 

[Equint77]

this reminds me of the time I met Elisha Cuthbert and she stopped me on the street and said...

"hey you're that guy who posted my ass is so flat it could almost be inverted right?"

I was like..
"yeah it was me, you got no junk in your trunk blondie".

She was like...
"Oh my god... you are so right.. my nickname on "girl next door" was Mrs. No-Ass.. Hee Hee".

I walked away.

 

[Pussy Galore]

this reminds me of the time i had sex with Equints mom.

 

[hippy fascist]

I just wanna tell you guys thanks for being here. Best day ever.

How dare you compare the mighty ferrell to the king of the nerds

 

[Equint77]

this reminds me of the time i had sex with Equints mom.

she said you have no stamina...

 

[Pussy Galore]

she said you have no stamina...

whatever, i got mine. thats all that matters

 

[Equint77]

whatever, i got mine. thats all that matters

that's what I say each time I finish with you...... :meow: :heart: :meow: :heart: :meow:

 

[Pussy Galore]

youre so watered down now.. talk to me when the old Equint is back

 

[Equint77]

youre so watered down now.. talk to me when the old Equint is back

oh ****!!! no she didn't!!

 

[Fran]

Bueller. . . . . Bueller. . . . . . Bueller. . . . . .

LOL!

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Pussy Galore]

in the meantime, send me nude pics of your hot friend.

 

[Equint77]

in the meantime, send me nude pics of your hot friend.

why don't you ask him.... he still asks me about you and what you wear.

 

[Pussy Galore]

he is a nameless slab of meat to me. i don't care what he thinks/feels/says.
he's just a living *****.

 

[Equint77]

he is a nameless slab of meat to me. i don't care what he thinks/feels/says.
he's just a living *****.

we are so alike.. I told him you're a living hole.. 3 of them in fact. :heart: :heart:

And that the only thing louder than your mouth is your vagina. :meow: :meow: