White Lesbian Sues Fertility Clinic Because of Mixed Baby

[MessiahDecoy123]

So you suffer a lifetime of prejudice and intolerance but protest when your baby turns out half black?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/...t_n_5922180.html?&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Well I would imagine the outrage is due to the fact that one usually picks the donor in this kind of situation which would lead me to believe the sample she received was not from the person she thought she selected. Only thing that makes sense to me

 

[DeadPresident]

A sperm bank delivers a service. Them not doing it correctly results in repercussions for this woman. Is that not a legitimate grievance?

She already said it's not about the race of the baby but the fact that it's an additional factor she must consider because of her environment. This is a non-story that everybody is going to misconstrue as the woman being a racist.

 

[Feenix]

She has every right to sue. They picked a sample and were prepared for the baby. To have a mixed race child in a racially intolerant community as she described would be extremely difficult.

Messiah, I get that you're upset because, on the surface, it looks bad, but did you actually read the article? This woman is clearly not racist. She and her partner are going to move to give their child a better life. In no way should she be demonized for this. She wanted a child that looked like her and her partner so they could look like more of a family and avoid the awkward adoption questions. Is that wrong?

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Well I would imagine the outrage is due to the fact that one usually picks the donor in this kind of situation which would lead me to believe the sample she received was not from the person she thought she selected. Only thing that makes sense to me

But the lawsuit implies there's something wrong with the child.

Like a sperm donor who a non-disclosed illness that is passed down to a child.

There's nothing wrong with a bi-racial child.

It would be like suing because your baby has blue eyes instead of father's green. Outside of greed, why would such a lawsuit be valid? Especially from someone who was persecuted for being different their entire life?

 

[DeadPresident]

Reading this article it's actually an appallingly ideological and slanted piece of journalism geared to do nothing but get hits and to incite argumentative discussion by misrepresenting the facts and emphasizing certain aspects and completely ignoring others.

I imagine if it was a couple of any other race suing because the sperm sample was swapped and it was a biracial child people would be perfectly fine with it. But the headlines everybody is running with is "White women sue over black donor". Instead of "Lesbian couple sue over erroneous pregnancy".

Irrespective of race or ethnicity, if anybody that chooses to use that service receives the wrong donors sample they have the right to sue the company. It's their responsibility to provide the service and to do it properly. Now these women are going to be publicly lambasted as closet-KKK members because self-righteous bloggers got a hold of the story and decided to sensationalize it.

 

[Feenix]

But the lawsuit implies there's something wrong with the child.

Like a sperm donor who a non-disclosed illness that is passed down to a child.

There's nothing wrong with a bi-racial child.

It would be like suing because your baby has blue eyes instead of father's green. Outside of greed, why would such a lawsuit be valid? Especially from someone who was persecuted for being different their entire life?

Really? They prepared for a baby that was white, in a racially intolerant community. Now, they're going to move so their child doesn't have problems in school. That is a huge burden for anyone to bear and for it all to come as a result of negligence on the part of the sperm bank? They have every right to sue!

Having a mixed race child instead of a white child is unbelievably different than having blue eyes instead of green. Come on now.

These women are not saying that they don't love their child because she's mixed race. They're saying that the sperm bank is liable for a mistake that they made. Moving is going to cost them a lot of money and perhaps even lost wages and it's all because of the sperm bank's mistake.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

But the lawsuit implies there's something wrong with the child.

Like a sperm donor who a non-disclosed illness that is passed down to a child.

There's nothing wrong with a bi-racial child.

It would be like suing because your baby has blue eyes instead of father's green. Outside of greed, why would such a lawsuit be valid? Especially from someone who was persecuted for being different their entire life?

I think your reading too much into this. I doubt that feel anything is wrong with the child but the donor agency royally screwed the pooch here. A donor is picked for any number of reasons and by them giving some random donor they didn't want the child will receive traits that they may not have wanted. As has been pointed out by others I doubt these women love the child any less but they spent thousands of dollars on this and deserve to be compensated for this screw up. If the race really mattered to them I'm sure they would have given it up for adoption

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I agree with Cosmic. It doesn't mean they're racist. These things aren't always black and white.

No pun intended! No pun intended!

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

She has every right to sue. They picked a sample and were prepared for the baby. To have a mixed race child in a racially intolerant community as she described would be extremely difficult.

Messiah, I get that you're upset because, on the surface, it looks bad, but did you actually read the article? This woman is clearly not racist. She and her partner are going to move to give their child a better life. In no way should she be demonized for this. She wanted a child that looked like her and her partner so they could look like more of a family and avoid the awkward adoption questions. Is that wrong?

Suing to re-locate is understandable to an extent.

But I have to wonder why having a child with dark features would be much harder than being in an openly gay relationship in a small, farm town.

You guys are right though, she's not the monster people are making her out to be.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I think your reading too much into this. I doubt that feel anything is wrong with the child but the donor agency royally screwed the pooch here. A donor is picked for any number of reasons and by them giving some random donor they didn't want the child will receive traits that they may not have wanted. As has been pointed out by others I doubt these women love the child any less but they spent thousands of dollars on this and deserve to be compensated for this screw up. If the race really mattered to them I'm sure they would have given it up for adoption

Yeah, they deserve credit for keeping the baby and attempting to re-locate for a better life.

This entire situation might be a blessing in disguise if they relocate to progressive area with their colorful and diverse family unit where it earns a badge of respect.

 

[DeadPresident]

There seems to be a misconception that people who are targets of persecution or discrimination are all alike and should band together. If it was somehow possible to choose the sexual orientation of a child, would people who elected to have heterosexual children be branded homophobes?

But if that were true there wouldn't be any discrimination. Completely equating the civil rights movement with same-sex marriage acceptance and generally addressing the issue of homophobia is oversimplification and reductionist to the point of being absurd. Using this particular case as an example, it's unreasonable to assume that lesbians should be demanded to ignore the baby's race because they know what being discriminated feels like. Plain and simple, things like sexuality and race are practical issues that have to be taken into consideration. There are people who don't have prejudices and it's great that issues of race and sexuality are becoming more accepted. But it would be irresponsible for them to pretend the baby's race isn't a relevant concern. And it's stupid for people to make that request of them.

Yeah, they deserve credit for keeping the baby and attempting to re-locate for a better life.

This entire situation might be a blessing in disguise if they relocate to progressive area with their colorful and diverse family unit where it earns a badge of respect.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here, but I'd like to know what you mean by this statement?

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

There seems to be a misconception that people who are targets of persecution or discrimination are all alike and should band together. If it was somehow possible to choose the sexual orientation of a child, would people who elected to have heterosexual children be branded homophobes?

But if that were true there wouldn't be any discrimination. Completely equating the civil rights movement with same-sex marriage acceptance and generally addressing the issue of homophobia is oversimplification and reductionist to the point of being absurd. Using this particular case as an example, it's unreasonable to assume that lesbians should be demanded to ignore the baby's race because they know what being discriminated feels like. Plain and simple, things like sexuality and race are practical issues that have to be taken into consideration. There are people who don't have prejudices and it's great that issues of race and sexuality are becoming more accepted. But it would be irresponsible for them to pretend the baby's race isn't a relevant concern. And it's stupid for people to make that request of them.

I know it doesn't apply to this case but I think it's highly hypocritical when a gay person is prejudiced against blacks and vice versa.

If you are persecuted you should sympathize with others who are persecuted.

Just think about a black person who complains about racist, unfair treatment by society then turns around and alienates their child for being gay.

Unfortunately it is not uncommon for many persecuted groups (nerds, gays, blacks, jews, women) to target another group to persecute in some way.

It's rather depressing to see how blind people can be and how little people learn from their own obstacles.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here, but I'd like to know what you mean by this statement?

In a progressive community having a multi-racial family could be seen as a strength rather than a weakness and earn respect from others who espouse the benefits of diversity and tolerance.

 

[Shlee]

Can I also just make the point that, they picked someone who looks like her partner and when you pick donors out of a sperm bank, you get to see at least a brief glance of their family medical history and all the things that could become potential problems down the line. You Make decisions based on those factors.

So if she got sperm from a totally different donor that she didn't even read the background on, how is she supposed to know what the baby could be at risk for at this point? That's a pretty big problem, IMHO.

I don't see this as a race issue in the slightest, honestly. I get where they're coming from as far as what they had chosen, but from the video I watched, I didn't get the feeling that she's mad the baby came out biracial. She's just mad that what she asked for and expected didn't get met and now means a lot of hardship for her family.

 

[Thundercrack85]

I find the whole idea of sperm clinics and sperm donor to be incredibly creepy and dehumanizing.

I feel sorry for this baby, and any person that is the product of this sort of... procedure.

 

[DeadPresident]

I know it doesn't apply to this case but I think it's highly hypocritical when a gay person is prejudiced against blacks and vice versa.

If you are persecuted you should sympathize with others who are persecuted.

Just think about a black person who complains about racist, unfair treatment by society then turns around and alienates their child for being gay.

Unfortunately it is not uncommon for many persecuted groups (nerds, gays, blacks, jews, women) to target another group to persecute in some way.

It's rather depressing to see how blind people can be and how little people learn from their own obstacles.

In theory I agree with you 100%. The area where I disagree though is making statements like that means people are either consciously or unconsciously dividing people into groups that are perceived as requiring (or being undeserving of) more "value" than other groups.

Instead of everybody just having one category of "human being" that they treat on a case by case basis it's like there's this hierarchy of tolerance that dictates who should or shouldn't be shown implicit compassion because it's politically expedient.

I mean looking at the categories you mentioned, of nerds/gays/blacks/Jews/women that's already an indication of the groups that are on peoples' minds. I'm not saying they don't deserve consideration, and I'm not trying to trivialize the centuries of mistreatment some demographics have suffered. What I do think is important though is people need to pay attention to the fact that there are many, many groups of people whose persecution is paid no mind because they don't belong to a "popular" minority that's getting their cause championed by the media.

It's a disservice to both the groups who get attention and the ones who are ignored. Because the groups who get the attention are being told that they're only important to the world at large when they're referred to from the perspective of victimhood, and people who are removed from the narrative are being told their struggle isn't as important as someone else's.

 

[SuperT]

She has every right to sue and most definitely should, the sperm bank absolutely messed up. The reasoning she gives in the lawsuit though is just completely ignorant as all get out. Your community seems perfectly fine with a same-sex couple but it draws the line at a bi-racial/African-American child? Okay...

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I find the whole idea of sperm clinics and sperm donor to be incredibly creepy and dehumanizing.

I feel sorry for this baby, and any person that is the product of this sort of... procedure.

I don't blame a gay couple for using a sperm clinic at all.

They deserve a family just as much as anyone else and adoption isn't always an easy option.

 

[DeadPresident]

In a progressive community having a multi-racial family could be seen as a strength rather than a weakness and earn respect from others who espouse the benefits of diversity and tolerance.

I'm with you, and I agree. But I think there's also an element of people including minority demographics in their social sphere as a mechanism to win approval or validation from people.

I'd rather have couples like the women in this story that admit that they had planned for a white baby but don't try and put the baby they have up for adoption more than supposed saints like Angelina Jolie who insist on adopting minority babies to win political/social capital. I find that detestable. Because it seems to send the message that "only black and Asian babies are worth adopting" and people actually put her on a pedestal for that. Like there aren't orphans in poorer or less well adjusted countries like Brazil, Mexico, Ukraine or Russia?

I understand how you meant it though, like the decision comes from an altruistic motivation. My issue is just I feel like there as many people who abuse it as there are who genuinely accept diversity and tolerate any demographic category.

I dunno, long diatribe but I feel like there are so many issues where people think that by separating people into ever more specific categories and saying: "Look, I tolerate X,Y,Z and A/B/C!" is as damaging as being intolerant. I mean how long is it until we get to the point where people are evaluated on a case by case basis and not according to whether or not they belong to "trendy" minority groups. Everybody deserves tolerance and acceptance and to be judged according to their character, not only those popularized.

 

[Thundercrack85]

I don't blame a gay couple for using a sperm clinic at all.

They deserve a family just as much as anyone else and adoption isn't always an easy option.

Maybe I'm biased because I love my father, and I was raised in a patriarchal society.

But a sperm cup a father does not make.

 

[DeadPresident]

Maybe I'm biased because I love my father, and I was raised in a patriarchal society.

But a sperm cup a father does not make.

This operates on the assumption that all biological offspring are given exemplary upbringings though. There are probably millions of people who can attest to the fact that their biological folks are not the people they would've selected to raise them if they had the choice.

A biological contributor a good parent does not make.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

In theory I agree with you 100%. The area where I disagree though is making statements like that means people are either consciously or unconsciously dividing people into groups that are perceived as requiring (or being undeserving of) more "value" than other groups.

Instead of everybody just having one category of "human being" that they treat on a case by case basis it's like there's this hierarchy of tolerance that dictates who should or shouldn't be shown implicit compassion because it's politically expedient.

I mean looking at the categories you mentioned, of nerds/gays/blacks/Jews/women that's already an indication of the groups that are on peoples' minds. I'm not saying they don't deserve consideration, and I'm not trying to trivialize the centuries of mistreatment some demographics have suffered. What I do think is important though is people need to pay attention to the fact that there are many, many groups of people whose persecution is paid no mind because they don't belong to a "popular" minority that's getting their cause championed by the media.

It's a disservice to both the groups who get attention and the ones who are ignored. Because the groups who get the attention are being told that they're only important to the world at large when they're referred to from the perspective of victimhood, and people who are removed from the narrative are being told their struggle isn't as important as someone else's.

Are you referring to white males?

What struggles uniquely applies to them?

Aren't their struggles universal to everyone?

Why do they need the same level of advocacy as groups who face unique obstacles?

 

[DeadPresident]

She has every right to sue and most definitely should, the sperm bank absolutely messed up. The reasoning she gives in the lawsuit though is just completely ignorant as all get out. Your community seems perfectly fine with a same-sex couple but it draws the line at a bi-racial/African-American child? Okay...

Messiah's comment about assuming one persecuted group sympathizes with another is accurate though, it's a dangerous assumption.

It shouldn't surprise people that there are probably racist homosexuals and probably homophobic African/Asian/Hispanic/Caucasian-Americans.

 

[Pink Ranger]

She has every right to sue and most definitely should, the sperm bank absolutely messed up. The reasoning she gives in the lawsuit though is just completely ignorant as all get out. Your community seems perfectly fine with a same-sex couple but it draws the line at a bi-racial/African-American child? Okay...

I admit I am struggling with how to feel in this story. Somehow, I feel that if this was an infertile white heterosexual couple accidentally getting Asian sperm, this wouldn't be news (except on Josh 2.0).

However, back to your point, I think the women's reasoning is that they are adults. If the community has problems with them being lesbians, they can deal with it because they have a lifetime of experience behind them.

This child will be an innocent, experiencing racism (perhaps) without the lifetime of context and coping skills to back her up. And there's only so much that two white parents can offer in terms of understanding. That I believe is the concern.